Lord Long Rod
Diamond Member
- Jan 17, 2023
- 7,706
- 8,121
- 2,138
- Banned
- #1
Well sir, I reckon I dun did see one er three of them thar Dogman critters over the corse of my long life. I cain’t say that I think much of em. Mangy critters, they is. And they is hard ta kill. With a Bigfoot, fer example, if’n ya hit that thar sumbitch in the head with a 12 gauge slug, that critter is a’goin down and it ain’t a’never gittin back up. But wit a dogman, that jest ain’t necessarily so.
But the main reason this here old boy don’t care fer those old sumbitchs is that they don’t eat worth a damn! I dun tried cookin em up ever whicha way ya can and they still come out tastin like Teriyaki jerky that dun been marinatin in cat sheeyit. No sir! I ain’t gots me no use fer no Dogman!
Usually when I run cross these damned old critters is when I am a’huntin a Bigfoot. One of them big old harry bastards will be a messin round on my old homestead and I got to up an git rid of it. Now Bigfoot is sum good eatin! Jest cut that tenderloin outa that thar sumbitch and slow cook it fer a few hours and it’ll melt in yer mouth, I’ll tell ya what!
But fer sum reason, if’n a Dogman gonna show itself, it’s when thar’s a Bigfoot a’roamin round. Now, this here is jest my impression, mind ya, but I don’t rightly think that them thar Bigfoot care much bout them Dogman either. I seen a big old mangy Bigfoot rip a pack of them thar dogmans to pieces then shit on the remains.
So why is they seen together sumtimes? I don’t rightly knowd the answer to that thar question. Maybe them dogmans skulk round hopin to git them an easy meal frum a Sasquatch kill. Er maybe they is jest gay fer them bigfoots. I don’t knowd.
But I do knowd that if’n you am gonna kilt a Dogman, ya gotta remove its old head. That’s why I carry a large bore revolver wit me when I’s out in the woods at ma still site. I carry an old .480 Ruger and, I’ll tell ya, that sumbitch will take a dogman’s head clean off!
Them critters is sum nasty sumbitchs. Ever time I kill one I cull the critter. They is good fer nuthin. Why, one time I killed one in the midnight hour whilst I wuz runnin sum shine. I dragged the sumbitchin corpse home the next morning to feed to my hogs. Nary a hog would touch that shit. So then, I ran the dead Dogman threw my old wood chipper and used the goo to make chicken feed. Them old dumbassed chicken ate the hell outa it. Then the next day they wuz all dead. Sheeyit!
Yessir, them old dog people are sum toxic shit. Ya’ll best jest avoid them old critters. Now I jest throw thar old corpses down off the old mountain I live on. Personally, I think them critters is sum kinda science experiment gone wrong. So don’t go a’lookin fer em. And fer what it’s werth, don’t try an make coitus with em either. I ain’t a’gonna go inta it, I is jest sayin’. Leave them thar sumbitchs alone!
But the main reason this here old boy don’t care fer those old sumbitchs is that they don’t eat worth a damn! I dun tried cookin em up ever whicha way ya can and they still come out tastin like Teriyaki jerky that dun been marinatin in cat sheeyit. No sir! I ain’t gots me no use fer no Dogman!
Usually when I run cross these damned old critters is when I am a’huntin a Bigfoot. One of them big old harry bastards will be a messin round on my old homestead and I got to up an git rid of it. Now Bigfoot is sum good eatin! Jest cut that tenderloin outa that thar sumbitch and slow cook it fer a few hours and it’ll melt in yer mouth, I’ll tell ya what!
But fer sum reason, if’n a Dogman gonna show itself, it’s when thar’s a Bigfoot a’roamin round. Now, this here is jest my impression, mind ya, but I don’t rightly think that them thar Bigfoot care much bout them Dogman either. I seen a big old mangy Bigfoot rip a pack of them thar dogmans to pieces then shit on the remains.
So why is they seen together sumtimes? I don’t rightly knowd the answer to that thar question. Maybe them dogmans skulk round hopin to git them an easy meal frum a Sasquatch kill. Er maybe they is jest gay fer them bigfoots. I don’t knowd.
But I do knowd that if’n you am gonna kilt a Dogman, ya gotta remove its old head. That’s why I carry a large bore revolver wit me when I’s out in the woods at ma still site. I carry an old .480 Ruger and, I’ll tell ya, that sumbitch will take a dogman’s head clean off!
Them critters is sum nasty sumbitchs. Ever time I kill one I cull the critter. They is good fer nuthin. Why, one time I killed one in the midnight hour whilst I wuz runnin sum shine. I dragged the sumbitchin corpse home the next morning to feed to my hogs. Nary a hog would touch that shit. So then, I ran the dead Dogman threw my old wood chipper and used the goo to make chicken feed. Them old dumbassed chicken ate the hell outa it. Then the next day they wuz all dead. Sheeyit!
Yessir, them old dog people are sum toxic shit. Ya’ll best jest avoid them old critters. Now I jest throw thar old corpses down off the old mountain I live on. Personally, I think them critters is sum kinda science experiment gone wrong. So don’t go a’lookin fer em. And fer what it’s werth, don’t try an make coitus with em either. I ain’t a’gonna go inta it, I is jest sayin’. Leave them thar sumbitchs alone!
