excalibur
Diamond Member
- Mar 19, 2015
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The insane are let loose among us and get gigs in newsrooms.
NPR reported on a major controversy surrounding beloved actor Tom Hanks. It turns out, black activists are outraged over the fact that every film in which Tom Hanks has starred has starred a white man. These rocket scientists are furious because movies starring an actor who is white starred a white actor.
NPR “media critic” Eric Deggans, a black fellow who’s won many awards for “diversity” but not a single one for media criticism, has no time to explain how a Tom Hanks-starring movie can not star a white guy. “I love Tom Hanks as a performer, Hollywood citizen and all-around stand-up guy,” Deggans concedes, but his work is “so often focused on the achievements of virtuous white, male Americans.” Deggans argues that Hanks’ historically based films like Saving Private Ryan and Apollo 13 should have starred blacks instead…thus making them not only not Tom Hanks films, but not historically based, either.
“I’m sure there are plenty of Hanks fans out there of every stripe who will say I am expecting too much,” Deggans admits. Actually, there are plenty of people of all stripes who will say that Eric Deggans is a certifiable lunatic.
Still, lunatics thrive in Hollywood, so one mustn’t dismiss Deggans’ demands just because they’re insane. While Hanks will most likely not consent to having his past films digitally altered to insert CGI Chadwick Boseman into his roles, he’s probably open to black-centric reboots of his classics, including “Saving Private Ryan Coogler,” “Apollo Creed 13,” “The Man Who Got Shot for His One Red Shoe,” “Forrest Whitaker Gump,” “Ike Turner and Hooch,” and “Sleepless in Seattle Because Antifa Won’t Stop Rioting.”
At the same time that NPR was inserting black people into historical fiction, Republican supergenius Marjorie Taylor Greene was inserting them into historical fact. After visiting the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum in D.C. to atone for having compared wearing masks to the Holocaust (which wasn’t even slightly nutty), Rep. Greene gave a press conference outside the museum’s reflecting pool and frozen banana stand where she expressed her desire to remember not just the Jews but “all the black people” who perished in the Holocaust.
For those who dare suggest that Greene must be a low-IQ schizophrenic to think that blacks were murdered along with Jews in 1942 Europe, well, the historical record shows this patriot to be right. There were millions of blacks in Poland and Belarus at the time, they were just in hiding (like a bunch of “maaaan Franks”). The Nazis successfully captured them by leaving bottles of Gorilla Glue lying around in town squares. Once caught, the blacks were taken to the Auschwitz Main Camp swimming pool where things pretty much took care of themselves.
www.takimag.com
NPR reported on a major controversy surrounding beloved actor Tom Hanks. It turns out, black activists are outraged over the fact that every film in which Tom Hanks has starred has starred a white man. These rocket scientists are furious because movies starring an actor who is white starred a white actor.
NPR “media critic” Eric Deggans, a black fellow who’s won many awards for “diversity” but not a single one for media criticism, has no time to explain how a Tom Hanks-starring movie can not star a white guy. “I love Tom Hanks as a performer, Hollywood citizen and all-around stand-up guy,” Deggans concedes, but his work is “so often focused on the achievements of virtuous white, male Americans.” Deggans argues that Hanks’ historically based films like Saving Private Ryan and Apollo 13 should have starred blacks instead…thus making them not only not Tom Hanks films, but not historically based, either.
“I’m sure there are plenty of Hanks fans out there of every stripe who will say I am expecting too much,” Deggans admits. Actually, there are plenty of people of all stripes who will say that Eric Deggans is a certifiable lunatic.
Still, lunatics thrive in Hollywood, so one mustn’t dismiss Deggans’ demands just because they’re insane. While Hanks will most likely not consent to having his past films digitally altered to insert CGI Chadwick Boseman into his roles, he’s probably open to black-centric reboots of his classics, including “Saving Private Ryan Coogler,” “Apollo Creed 13,” “The Man Who Got Shot for His One Red Shoe,” “Forrest Whitaker Gump,” “Ike Turner and Hooch,” and “Sleepless in Seattle Because Antifa Won’t Stop Rioting.”
At the same time that NPR was inserting black people into historical fiction, Republican supergenius Marjorie Taylor Greene was inserting them into historical fact. After visiting the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum in D.C. to atone for having compared wearing masks to the Holocaust (which wasn’t even slightly nutty), Rep. Greene gave a press conference outside the museum’s reflecting pool and frozen banana stand where she expressed her desire to remember not just the Jews but “all the black people” who perished in the Holocaust.
For those who dare suggest that Greene must be a low-IQ schizophrenic to think that blacks were murdered along with Jews in 1942 Europe, well, the historical record shows this patriot to be right. There were millions of blacks in Poland and Belarus at the time, they were just in hiding (like a bunch of “maaaan Franks”). The Nazis successfully captured them by leaving bottles of Gorilla Glue lying around in town squares. Once caught, the blacks were taken to the Auschwitz Main Camp swimming pool where things pretty much took care of themselves.
