I'm thinking of joining a church with my kids

If you like good fried chicken, I'd go with the Southern Baptist folks. If somebody dies, or there is a pot luck supper down at the church, you can be sure to get some good fried chicken at one of these events.

The Presbyterians have the best coffee hour. The Anglican/Episcopals have the best liturgy. The Evangelicals have the best outreach programs. The Catholics have the grandest claims.


We Baptists do eat well. Unless you are into aerobics, I'd stay out of the Episcopal church. I went to a wedding once, with all the standing, sitting, kneeling, standing, sitting, kneeling, my knees were shot for a week.

All kidding aside. If you are honest about seeking a church for you and yours, shop around until you find what best fits your understanding of the Bible or will give you an honest interpretation of what is in there.
 
A cool church is the one that I want. I really want to find one that is not preachy or bibly, but rather a community of nice people.

Depends what you mean by 'preachy and Bibly". If you want your kids to have a real church it will come with religious education including Bible study and preaching. Most kids are really hungry for that. That doesn't mean that it can't be fun, vibrant, interesting,

Our pastor recently told a version of this joke from the pulpit. :)

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost passed out when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life.

After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said,

"Murphy, I'm so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?"

Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you, Father. A while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn has a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he would have to take off his hat during Mass and figured he'd leave it in the back of the church.

So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."

The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat, after all. What changed your mind?"

Murphy replied, "Well, Father, after I heard your sermon on the Ten Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat."

With a tear in his eye, the priest gave Murphy a smile and said;

"After I spoke about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal', ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell?"

Murphy slowly shook his head.

"No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery', I remembered where I left me hat."
 
I was raised Calvinist...

I am more of a follower of Hobbes.

calvin-and-hobbes.jpg
 
A cool church is the one that I want. I really want to find one that is not preachy or bibly, but rather a community of nice people.

Depends what you mean by 'preachy and Bibly". If you want your kids to have a real church it will come with religious education including Bible study and preaching. Most kids are really hungry for that. That doesn't mean that it can't be fun, vibrant, interesting,

Our pastor recently told a version of this joke from the pulpit. :)

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost passed out when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life.

After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said,

"Murphy, I'm so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?"

Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you, Father. A while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn has a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he would have to take off his hat during Mass and figured he'd leave it in the back of the church.

So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."

The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat, after all. What changed your mind?"

Murphy replied, "Well, Father, after I heard your sermon on the Ten Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat."

With a tear in his eye, the priest gave Murphy a smile and said;

"After I spoke about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal', ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell?"

Murphy slowly shook his head.

"No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery', I remembered where I left me hat."

:lol::lol:

For a second that made me almost wish I had a pastor. :)
 
What sect do you recommend and why?
Join the church o' scientology!.....You can schmooze with the Tom Cruise and John Travolta weirdo types, and the kids get to play with weird machines and shit like that!

and the best part is you get to ask people" so how many crimes did you commit ..just today " ...tons o fun

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocw90W44Boc]YouTube - Scientology - What are your crimes?[/ame]
 
A cool church is the one that I want. I really want to find one that is not preachy or bibly, but rather a community of nice people.

Depends what you mean by 'preachy and Bibly". If you want your kids to have a real church it will come with religious education including Bible study and preaching. Most kids are really hungry for that. That doesn't mean that it can't be fun, vibrant, interesting,

Our pastor recently told a version of this joke from the pulpit. :)

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost passed out when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life.

After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said,

"Murphy, I'm so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?"

Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you, Father. A while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn has a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he would have to take off his hat during Mass and figured he'd leave it in the back of the church.

So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."

The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat, after all. What changed your mind?"

Murphy replied, "Well, Father, after I heard your sermon on the Ten Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat."

With a tear in his eye, the priest gave Murphy a smile and said;

"After I spoke about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal', ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell?"

Murphy slowly shook his head.

"No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery', I remembered where I left me hat."

Our Pastor told this one a few years back - about how some people just can't be happy in any church.

A man was rescued from a deserted island. On his island, he had built three structures.

His rescuers asked him about the first one. "That? Oh. Well that's where I've been living."

Then they asked him about the second one. "Oh. Well that's where I go to church."

Then his rescuers asked him, "If that one is where you live, and the second one is where you go to church, what is that third one over there?"

"Oh that," the man sniffed. "That's where I used to go to church."
 
Last edited:
No kidding.

I live just a few blocks away from where I used to go to church. I have to detour around it on Sunday, drives me nuts.
 
No kidding.

I live just a few blocks away from where I used to go to church. I have to detour around it on Sunday, drives me nuts.

I have such an eclectic background when it comes to church attendance and affiliation. I was born and raised Methodist but married a Southern Baptist so we 'unified' in the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ). But since then I have worked for the Disciples, Methodists, Baptists, Roman Catholics, Presbyterians, and Episcopalians and have worshipped with all on a regular basis--with many other denominations occasionally. Went to the Presbyterian Church in college. Eventually we got so weary of all the political and social engineering crap going on in so much of the denominational church these days that we visited and then joined a non denominational church and have absolutely loved it.

Some folks are high church, some low church, some non traditionalist, some traditionalist and I honestly don't think God cares so long as we put Him first regardless of how we 'do' church.
 

Actually get to know some Unitarians and you might be surprised. Belief isn't political - or shouldn't be.

My late in-laws were Unitarian. I am very familiar with them, used to attend when visiting, read all my MIL's newsletters (which appeared to be ongoing manifestos from the Democratic party)

The congregation was almost all White, middle to Upper class liberals. They did have one nice Black lady, whom they fawned over to no end, plus some members had adopted outside their race. They were totally unrepresented in the lower classes, I noticed.
 

Actually get to know some Unitarians and you might be surprised. Belief isn't political - or shouldn't be.

Yes, certainly all Baptist churches are not like the Westboro Church and all United Church of Christ are not like Trinity UCC in Chicago. There are Unitarian Churches that are quite political and activist and others that are not. Ditto for many other denominations. So really, it comes down to what floats your boat and what you want in a church.

True story: I grew up in a little town in southeastern New Mexico. There were five churches in town. The Roman Catholics were way out on the edge and were pretty invisible to everybody but the Catholics. The big Baptist and Methodist and the old fashioned Church of Christ formed a triangle a couple of blocks apart with the smaller Presbyterian Church in the middle of the triangle.

The Baptists started it by installing regular bells in the bell tower, but they were loud and rang every day at noon and before and after church. the Methodists installed a music system in their bell tower and played hymns loudly every day at noon and before and after church which obviously competed with the Baptist bells. So the Church of Christ, not be outdone, installed loudspeakers on the roof and started broadcasting the pastor's sermon. And the windows rattled like crazy at the Presbyterian Church that was almost obliterated by all the cacophony of racket.

We the people finally enlisted the Catholic Priest to hold a meeting with all the church officials and come to an agreement to settle the matter. Nobody has been satisfied with the outcome to this day however. :)
 

Forum List

Back
Top