Humor from a massively frustrated wannabe writer.

[Dayton3]

I'll be conducting a book signing at Barnes & Noble on Saturday.

Beginning at 12 noon and continuing until security throws me out....

 

[Harry Dresden]

so what book did you write?....

 

[JoeMoma]

so what book did you write?....

He didn't write a book, but he will be willing to sign any book you bring to him.

 

[Dayton3]

so what book did you write?....

Just ideas so far. I know the kind of books I would like to see but I've never considered myself talented enough to actually flesh them out and complete them. I have some outlines.

 

[Billy_Kinetta]

You could sign outlines and offer $2.00 selfies.

 

[Eric Arthur Blair]

Just ideas so far. I know the kind of books I would like to see but I've never considered myself talented enough to actually flesh them out and complete them. I have some outlines.

So do preschoolers. Just check out the sidewalks.
I'm doing a book on the four great turning points in life: Youth, marriage, divorce and aging.

It's coming out under the pen name, Foster Anger.
My friend said using my real name, William Shakespeare, would cause some confusion.

Look for it in cut out bins at the 99 cent store.

 

[Harry Dresden]

so what book did you write?....

Just ideas so far. I know the kind of books I would like to see but I've never considered myself talented enough to actually flesh them out and complete them. I have some outlines.

people are supposed to come and buy your idea book?....

 

[Oz and the Orchestra]

so what book did you write?....

Just ideas so far. I know the kind of books I would like to see but I've never considered myself talented enough to actually flesh them out and complete them. I have some outlines.

I've just finished a book.
Its about a man who lives in Black & White Land. He had reached his forties and realised he had led a boring life.
Nothing ever happened in Black & white land. Because everything was either black or white there was no need for anybody to argue or disagree. Then one day a man appeared from nowhere who turned everything in the land on its head cos he was Orange and he said that everybody had been living fake lives and he would change this and that and everything you thought was black & white was really grey. Orange man though would tell them which shade of grey everything is. Orangeman became their leader with a great fanfare. He immediately set about changing what everything was thought to be to what he said it should be.
As time went on people began to notice that things had stopped working. then people started to riot cos the police no longer knew what they were supposed to do Cities were on fire and people couldn't get to their jobs. Simple things like keeping clean and healthy were forgotten and a Great Plague sprang up causing further chaos. Other countries had started to fall out with B&W land cos they kept breaking all their obligations.
After 4 years Orangeman still had much support as the people had become so confused they didn't know who or what to blame. At his final rally before the big election Orangeman began to talk to the people, then it rained and it rained and it rained. So much so that it washed all the colour off Orangeman and he became the same as everybody else in Black & White Land. " Orangeman's a fake!" they cried. "He was just making it all up as he went along!" - "We've all been duped!"
When though they looked around for Orangeman, he'd disappeared and was never seen again.
Black & White Land went back to its old ways and everything fell back into place.
Our man who thought he was going through a mid life crises thought 'Thank god for my comfortable, rewarding, and stable old life!"

 

[Eric Arthur Blair]

Thanks for the utter crap.

 

[Oz and the Orchestra]

Thanks for the utter crap.

I think it rather prophetic!

 

[Eric Arthur Blair]

Thanks for the utter crap.

I think it rather prophetic pathetic!

I think you misspelled a word. I fixed it for you. No thanks necessary.

 

[Cellblock2429]

so what book did you write?....

Just ideas so far. I know the kind of books I would like to see but I've never considered myself talented enough to actually flesh them out and complete them. I have some outlines.

I've just finished a book.
Its about a man who lives in Black & White Land. He had reached his forties and realised he had led a boring life.
Nothing ever happened in Black & white land. Because everything was either black or white there was no need for anybody to argue or disagree. Then one day a man appeared from nowhere who turned everything in the land on its head cos he was Orange and he said that everybody had been living fake lives and he would change this and that and everything you thought was black & white was really grey. Orange man though would tell them which shade of grey everything is. Orangeman became their leader with a great fanfare. He immediately set about changing what everything was thought to be to what he said it should be.
As time went on people began to notice that things had stopped working. then people started to riot cos the police no longer knew what they were supposed to do Cities were on fire and people couldn't get to their jobs. Simple things like keeping clean and healthy were forgotten and a Great Plague sprang up causing further chaos. Other countries had started to fall out with B&W land cos they kept breaking all their obligations.
After 4 years Orangeman still had much support as the people had become so confused they didn't know who or what to blame. At his final rally before the big election Orangeman began to talk to the people, then it rained and it rained and it rained. So much so that it washed all the colour off Orangeman and he became the same as everybody else in Black & White Land. " Orangeman's a fake!" they cried. "He was just making it all up as he went along!" - "We've all been duped!"
When though they looked around for Orangeman, he'd disappeared and was never seen again.
Black & White Land went back to its old ways and everything fell back into place.
Our man who thought he was going through a mid life crises thought 'Thank god for my comfortable, rewarding, and stable old life!"

/——/ The book will go straight to the Sell Out bin at the Salvation Army.

 

[Ridgerunner]

Oz and the Orchestra

I have a request...

“Mairzy Doats”

 

[Oz and the Orchestra]

Oz and the Orchestra

I have a request...

“Mairzy Doats”

Reagan......O yes the old B grade movie actor. He wasn't too fussed about breaking his own laws (the contra's) and costing thousands of innocent lives in El Salvador and the like.

Why is it that Yanks always become more popular when their dead.

 

[MarathonMike]

so what book did you write?....

Just ideas so far. I know the kind of books I would like to see but I've never considered myself talented enough to actually flesh them out and complete them. I have some outlines.

I've just finished a book.
Its about a man who lives in Black & White Land. He had reached his forties and realised he had led a boring life.
Nothing ever happened in Black & white land. Because everything was either black or white there was no need for anybody to argue or disagree. Then one day a man appeared from nowhere who turned everything in the land on its head cos he was Orange and he said that everybody had been living fake lives and he would change this and that and everything you thought was black & white was really grey. Orange man though would tell them which shade of grey everything is. Orangeman became their leader with a great fanfare. He immediately set about changing what everything was thought to be to what he said it should be.
As time went on people began to notice that things had stopped working. then people started to riot cos the police no longer knew what they were supposed to do Cities were on fire and people couldn't get to their jobs. Simple things like keeping clean and healthy were forgotten and a Great Plague sprang up causing further chaos. Other countries had started to fall out with B&W land cos they kept breaking all their obligations.
After 4 years Orangeman still had much support as the people had become so confused they didn't know who or what to blame. At his final rally before the big election Orangeman began to talk to the people, then it rained and it rained and it rained. So much so that it washed all the colour off Orangeman and he became the same as everybody else in Black & White Land. " Orangeman's a fake!" they cried. "He was just making it all up as he went along!" - "We've all been duped!"
When though they looked around for Orangeman, he'd disappeared and was never seen again.
Black & White Land went back to its old ways and everything fell back into place.
Our man who thought he was going through a mid life crises thought 'Thank god for my comfortable, rewarding, and stable old life!"

Some clever concepts there but it fell apart when you were determined to blame everything on Orange man.

 

[Ridgerunner]

Oz and the Orchestra

I have a request...

“Mairzy Doats”

Reagan......O yes the old B grade movie actor. He wasn't too fussed about breaking his own laws (the contra's) and costing thousands of innocent lives in El Salvador and the like.

Why is it that Yanks always become more popular when their dead.

 

[Tom Paine 1949]

so what book did you write?....

Just ideas so far. I know the kind of books I would like to see but I've never considered myself talented enough to actually flesh them out and complete them. I have some outlines.

I've just finished a book.
Its about a man who lives in Black & White Land. He had reached his forties and realised he had led a boring life.
Nothing ever happened in Black & white land. Because everything was either black or white there was no need for anybody to argue or disagree. Then one day a man appeared from nowhere who turned everything in the land on its head cos he was Orange and he said that everybody had been living fake lives and he would change this and that and everything you thought was black & white was really grey. Orange man though would tell them which shade of grey everything is. Orangeman became their leader with a great fanfare. He immediately set about changing what everything was thought to be to what he said it should be.
As time went on people began to notice that things had stopped working. then people started to riot cos the police no longer knew what they were supposed to do Cities were on fire and people couldn't get to their jobs. Simple things like keeping clean and healthy were forgotten and a Great Plague sprang up causing further chaos. Other countries had started to fall out with B&W land cos they kept breaking all their obligations.
After 4 years Orangeman still had much support as the people had become so confused they didn't know who or what to blame. At his final rally before the big election Orangeman began to talk to the people, then it rained and it rained and it rained. So much so that it washed all the colour off Orangeman and he became the same as everybody else in Black & White Land. " Orangeman's a fake!" they cried. "He was just making it all up as he went along!" - "We've all been duped!"
When though they looked around for Orangeman, he'd disappeared and was never seen again.
Black & White Land went back to its old ways and everything fell back into place.
Our man who thought he was going through a mid life crises thought 'Thank god for my comfortable, rewarding, and stable old life!"

Some clever concepts there but it fell apart when you were determined to blame everything on Orange man.

I don’t think you get the moral of the story. You see the Orange Man didn’t change anything in the end. The people themselves still thought in terms of black and white in the end, and were self satisfied in “Black & White Land.”

 

[Dayton3]

Oz and the Orchestra

I have a request...

“Mairzy Doats”

Why is it that Yanks always become more popular when their dead.

There is a saying that a politician once used

"When God puts his hands on someone, I take mine off."

 

[MarathonMike]

so what book did you write?....

Just ideas so far. I know the kind of books I would like to see but I've never considered myself talented enough to actually flesh them out and complete them. I have some outlines.

I've just finished a book.
Its about a man who lives in Black & White Land. He had reached his forties and realised he had led a boring life.
Nothing ever happened in Black & white land. Because everything was either black or white there was no need for anybody to argue or disagree. Then one day a man appeared from nowhere who turned everything in the land on its head cos he was Orange and he said that everybody had been living fake lives and he would change this and that and everything you thought was black & white was really grey. Orange man though would tell them which shade of grey everything is. Orangeman became their leader with a great fanfare. He immediately set about changing what everything was thought to be to what he said it should be.
As time went on people began to notice that things had stopped working. then people started to riot cos the police no longer knew what they were supposed to do Cities were on fire and people couldn't get to their jobs. Simple things like keeping clean and healthy were forgotten and a Great Plague sprang up causing further chaos. Other countries had started to fall out with B&W land cos they kept breaking all their obligations.
After 4 years Orangeman still had much support as the people had become so confused they didn't know who or what to blame. At his final rally before the big election Orangeman began to talk to the people, then it rained and it rained and it rained. So much so that it washed all the colour off Orangeman and he became the same as everybody else in Black & White Land. " Orangeman's a fake!" they cried. "He was just making it all up as he went along!" - "We've all been duped!"
When though they looked around for Orangeman, he'd disappeared and was never seen again.
Black & White Land went back to its old ways and everything fell back into place.
Our man who thought he was going through a mid life crises thought 'Thank god for my comfortable, rewarding, and stable old life!"

Some clever concepts there but it fell apart when you were determined to blame everything on Orange man.

I don’t think you get the moral of the story. You see the Orange Man didn’t change anything in the end. The people themselves still thought in terms of black and white in the end, and were self satisfied in “Black & White Land.”

Are you saying the author had no intention to tie his metaphorical story to America and Donald Trump? If not, then sure you can create whatever reality you want, it's your story.

 

[Tom Paine 1949]

Are you saying the author had no intention to tie his metaphorical story to America and Donald Trump? If not, then sure you can create whatever reality you want, it's your story.

Well, I guess he did. But you see, I’m a very frustrated author myself!