How To Get Away With Murder

Nov 1, 2014
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Ok, it's not serious. Put the knives away.

My wife and I have become FREAKS about watching NBC Dateline and other murder mystery shows and for fun, we're critiquing these guys who murder and debating where they went wrong and why they got caught. So I am forming a list of rules on getting away with murder and would love to have people add to it.

1. Lose the murder weapon. I don't care how much sentimental value you assign to it, it will land you in prison. Ballistics and forensic evidence will be all over it. The murder weapon is one of the key components of the prosecution's case against you.

2. Don't set up an "unknown stranger" murder. It doesn't work. Ever. And if you claim that stranger was black, it gets even worse. You don't possess the expertise to create the forensic crime scene of a burglar breaking in to steal your Blue Ray and kill your wife. Everyone who's tried this has heard the verdict "Guilty"

3. Get rid of your clothes. Burn them, preferably. Clothes are forensic evidence traps and while the gun powder residue will wash out, the blood, semen, or other DNA evidence won't. When you're dressing for a murder, don't wear anything you rue to part with.

4. Don't use a car to transport the body... Unless you plan to burn that too and dump it in a lake. Vehicles are also loaded with forensic evidence. And while using plastic might have worked for Dexter, in real life a little blood is going to leak out and you'll go to prison. If you like your Escalade, don't use it during a murder.

5. Don't involve several people. If you're going to kill a human being, have the balls to do it yourself and have as few witnesses or people who know about it as possible (preferably, noone). Remember the movie "Bully"? (Nick Stahl, Brad Renfro). Dude wanted to waste his best friend so he involved several of his pothead and tweeker friends to help. They all rolled over on each other like a puppy in obedience school and none of them could keep their traps shut.

6. Don't cooperate with authorities. Even if you're the bereaved spouse. This one's tricky because they will frame their investigation into you as trying to gather facts so they can capture the killer, but don't kid yourself, you're the first suspect and they may never pursue another. Lawyer up immediately. As Chris Rock said, it's better to look guilty and go home than to look innocent in prison.

7. Don't have any life insurance policies. If that's why you're killing him, ladies, don't bother. It's a giant red flag and you will land in prison.

8. Keep your damned piehole shut! Don't tell anyone you want to kill somebody, don't ask about hitmen who are available for hire, don't say shit to anyone about any detail of what you plan to do. If you ignore this advice, all those "friends" of yours will be at your trial testifying against you.

9. No Internet searches. Unless you plan to burn your laptop, melt your hard drive in a kiln, and dump it into a river 300 miles away. When you look up, "how-to-make-poison-with-homemade-ingredients" they're going to find that and they're going to use it against you.

10. Don't go on the internet and make threads about how to get away with murder. Assume that anything you say or write about in jest is going to be taken out of context and regurgitated in an accusatory light. Don't make stupid threads like this if you're planning on murdering somebody. They'll get you for that too.

Any other advice?
 
Yes!

Don't murder anyone in the first place and then you don't have to worry about any of the above.

Dumbest thing you could ever do is kill someone in this day and age. The forensics are only a fraction of the problem. Having to deal with the stress of an investigation would be punishment itself. Being a suspect would be punishment. Having your friends, colleagues, relatives, children, etc wonder if you committed a murder would be a punishment. Being in the media would be a punishment.

So my advice is don't even think about it because the "perfect murder" is beyond the average person. Cops catch people because they make stupid mistakes and yes, if it is the first time you are murdering someone you will make a stupid mistake. Professionals might be able to get away with it but amateurs end up behind bars. There is no statute of limitations on a murder so for the rest of your life you will have to wonder if there is anyone working on your "cold case file".

There are other ways to rid yourself of a troublesome person in your life. Divorce, find another job, move to a different neighborhood, take up a new hobby or sporting activity.

Life is short enough as it is. Spending any part of it either behind bars or being a suspect who the authorities want to put behind bars is not any way to live your life IMO.
 
Yes!

Don't murder anyone in the first place and then you don't have to worry about any of the above.

Dumbest thing you could ever do is kill someone in this day and age. The forensics are only a fraction of the problem. Having to deal with the stress of an investigation would be punishment itself. Being a suspect would be punishment. Having your friends, colleagues, relatives, children, etc wonder if you committed a murder would be a punishment. Being in the media would be a punishment.

So my advice is don't even think about it because the "perfect murder" is beyond the average person. Cops catch people because they make stupid mistakes and yes, if it is the first time you are murdering someone you will make a stupid mistake. Professionals might be able to get away with it but amateurs end up behind bars. There is no statute of limitations on a murder so for the rest of your life you will have to wonder if there is anyone working on your "cold case file".

There are other ways to rid yourself of a troublesome person in your life. Divorce, find another job, move to a different neighborhood, take up a new hobby or sporting activity.

Life is short enough as it is. Spending any part of it either behind bars or being a suspect who the authorities want to put behind bars is not any way to live your life IMO.

Some people might see all that as a challenge. There's certainly enough jackwagons who think they're up to the task, enough to keep NBC Dateline stocked with shows. Unfortunately the shows are not fictional, but real life attempts to get away with murder.
 
Yes!

Don't murder anyone in the first place and then you don't have to worry about any of the above.

Dumbest thing you could ever do is kill someone in this day and age. The forensics are only a fraction of the problem. Having to deal with the stress of an investigation would be punishment itself. Being a suspect would be punishment. Having your friends, colleagues, relatives, children, etc wonder if you committed a murder would be a punishment. Being in the media would be a punishment.

So my advice is don't even think about it because the "perfect murder" is beyond the average person. Cops catch people because they make stupid mistakes and yes, if it is the first time you are murdering someone you will make a stupid mistake. Professionals might be able to get away with it but amateurs end up behind bars. There is no statute of limitations on a murder so for the rest of your life you will have to wonder if there is anyone working on your "cold case file".

There are other ways to rid yourself of a troublesome person in your life. Divorce, find another job, move to a different neighborhood, take up a new hobby or sporting activity.

Life is short enough as it is. Spending any part of it either behind bars or being a suspect who the authorities want to put behind bars is not any way to live your life IMO.

Some people might see all that as a challenge. There's certainly enough jackwagons who think they're up to the task, enough to keep NBC Dateline stocked with shows. Unfortunately the shows are not fictional, but real life attempts to get away with murder.

If they were successful at committing the "perfect murder" there would be nothing for NBC to stock their shows with which just proves my point, doesn't it?
 
Ok, it's not serious. Put the knives away.

My wife and I have become FREAKS about watching NBC Dateline and other murder mystery shows and for fun, we're critiquing these guys who murder and debating where they went wrong and why they got caught. So I am forming a list of rules on getting away with murder and would love to have people add to it.

1. Lose the murder weapon. I don't care how much sentimental value you assign to it, it will land you in prison. Ballistics and forensic evidence will be all over it. The murder weapon is one of the key components of the prosecution's case against you.

2. Don't set up an "unknown stranger" murder. It doesn't work. Ever. And if you claim that stranger was black, it gets even worse. You don't possess the expertise to create the forensic crime scene of a burglar breaking in to steal your Blue Ray and kill your wife. Everyone who's tried this has heard the verdict "Guilty"

3. Get rid of your clothes. Burn them, preferably. Clothes are forensic evidence traps and while the gun powder residue will wash out, the blood, semen, or other DNA evidence won't. When you're dressing for a murder, don't wear anything you rue to part with.

4. Don't use a car to transport the body... Unless you plan to burn that too and dump it in a lake. Vehicles are also loaded with forensic evidence. And while using plastic might have worked for Dexter, in real life a little blood is going to leak out and you'll go to prison. If you like your Escalade, don't use it during a murder.

5. Don't involve several people. If you're going to kill a human being, have the balls to do it yourself and have as few witnesses or people who know about it as possible (preferably, noone). Remember the movie "Bully"? (Nick Stahl, Brad Renfro). Dude wanted to waste his best friend so he involved several of his pothead and tweeker friends to help. They all rolled over on each other like a puppy in obedience school and none of them could keep their traps shut.

6. Don't cooperate with authorities. Even if you're the bereaved spouse. This one's tricky because they will frame their investigation into you as trying to gather facts so they can capture the killer, but don't kid yourself, you're the first suspect and they may never pursue another. Lawyer up immediately. As Chris Rock said, it's better to look guilty and go home than to look innocent in prison.

7. Don't have any life insurance policies. If that's why you're killing him, ladies, don't bother. It's a giant red flag and you will land in prison.

8. Keep your damned piehole shut! Don't tell anyone you want to kill somebody, don't ask about hitmen who are available for hire, don't say shit to anyone about any detail of what you plan to do. If you ignore this advice, all those "friends" of yours will be at your trial testifying against you.

9. No Internet searches. Unless you plan to burn your laptop, melt your hard drive in a kiln, and dump it into a river 300 miles away. When you look up, "how-to-make-poison-with-homemade-ingredients" they're going to find that and they're going to use it against you.

10. Don't go on the internet and make threads about how to get away with murder. Assume that anything you say or write about in jest is going to be taken out of context and regurgitated in an accusatory light. Don't make stupid threads like this if you're planning on murdering somebody. They'll get you for that too.

Any other advice?

Keep the gun and replace the barrel,firing pin and extractor.
That way when they seize your weapon as evidence nothing matches making it appear less likely that it was you.
Of course you would need to get these items well in advance and from a unknown source,which is quite easy.
 
Last edited:
Yes!

Don't murder anyone in the first place and then you don't have to worry about any of the above.

Dumbest thing you could ever do is kill someone in this day and age. The forensics are only a fraction of the problem. Having to deal with the stress of an investigation would be punishment itself. Being a suspect would be punishment. Having your friends, colleagues, relatives, children, etc wonder if you committed a murder would be a punishment. Being in the media would be a punishment.

So my advice is don't even think about it because the "perfect murder" is beyond the average person. Cops catch people because they make stupid mistakes and yes, if it is the first time you are murdering someone you will make a stupid mistake. Professionals might be able to get away with it but amateurs end up behind bars. There is no statute of limitations on a murder so for the rest of your life you will have to wonder if there is anyone working on your "cold case file".

There are other ways to rid yourself of a troublesome person in your life. Divorce, find another job, move to a different neighborhood, take up a new hobby or sporting activity.

Life is short enough as it is. Spending any part of it either behind bars or being a suspect who the authorities want to put behind bars is not any way to live your life IMO.

Some people might see all that as a challenge. There's certainly enough jackwagons who think they're up to the task, enough to keep NBC Dateline stocked with shows. Unfortunately the shows are not fictional, but real life attempts to get away with murder.

If they were successful at committing the "perfect murder" there would be nothing for NBC to stock their shows with which just proves my point, doesn't it?

Yeah, it kinda does.
 
Ok, it's not serious. Put the knives away.

My wife and I have become FREAKS about watching NBC Dateline and other murder mystery shows and for fun, we're critiquing these guys who murder and debating where they went wrong and why they got caught. So I am forming a list of rules on getting away with murder and would love to have people add to it.

1. Lose the murder weapon. I don't care how much sentimental value you assign to it, it will land you in prison. Ballistics and forensic evidence will be all over it. The murder weapon is one of the key components of the prosecution's case against you.

2. Don't set up an "unknown stranger" murder. It doesn't work. Ever. And if you claim that stranger was black, it gets even worse. You don't possess the expertise to create the forensic crime scene of a burglar breaking in to steal your Blue Ray and kill your wife. Everyone who's tried this has heard the verdict "Guilty"

3. Get rid of your clothes. Burn them, preferably. Clothes are forensic evidence traps and while the gun powder residue will wash out, the blood, semen, or other DNA evidence won't. When you're dressing for a murder, don't wear anything you rue to part with.

4. Don't use a car to transport the body... Unless you plan to burn that too and dump it in a lake. Vehicles are also loaded with forensic evidence. And while using plastic might have worked for Dexter, in real life a little blood is going to leak out and you'll go to prison. If you like your Escalade, don't use it during a murder.

5. Don't involve several people. If you're going to kill a human being, have the balls to do it yourself and have as few witnesses or people who know about it as possible (preferably, noone). Remember the movie "Bully"? (Nick Stahl, Brad Renfro). Dude wanted to waste his best friend so he involved several of his pothead and tweeker friends to help. They all rolled over on each other like a puppy in obedience school and none of them could keep their traps shut.

6. Don't cooperate with authorities. Even if you're the bereaved spouse. This one's tricky because they will frame their investigation into you as trying to gather facts so they can capture the killer, but don't kid yourself, you're the first suspect and they may never pursue another. Lawyer up immediately. As Chris Rock said, it's better to look guilty and go home than to look innocent in prison.

7. Don't have any life insurance policies. If that's why you're killing him, ladies, don't bother. It's a giant red flag and you will land in prison.

8. Keep your damned piehole shut! Don't tell anyone you want to kill somebody, don't ask about hitmen who are available for hire, don't say shit to anyone about any detail of what you plan to do. If you ignore this advice, all those "friends" of yours will be at your trial testifying against you.

9. No Internet searches. Unless you plan to burn your laptop, melt your hard drive in a kiln, and dump it into a river 300 miles away. When you look up, "how-to-make-poison-with-homemade-ingredients" they're going to find that and they're going to use it against you.

10. Don't go on the internet and make threads about how to get away with murder. Assume that anything you say or write about in jest is going to be taken out of context and regurgitated in an accusatory light. Don't make stupid threads like this if you're planning on murdering somebody. They'll get you for that too.

Any other advice?

Keep the gun and replace the barrel,firing pin and ejector.
That way when they seize your weapon as evidence nothing matches making it appear less likely that it was you.
Of course you would need to get these items well in advance and from a unknown source,which is quite easy.

And a virgin barrel and firing pin would be used as evidence of trying to conceal a crime. Don't commit a murder with a gun you're attached to, and if possible, don't even use one of yours. In every case we watched where a suspect used his own gun, he was caught, even when the gun was missing....because it was missing.

And if you really want to show your talent at concealment, use a caliber that's not part of your own collection of guns.
 
Ok, it's not serious. Put the knives away.

My wife and I have become FREAKS about watching NBC Dateline and other murder mystery shows and for fun, we're critiquing these guys who murder and debating where they went wrong and why they got caught. So I am forming a list of rules on getting away with murder and would love to have people add to it.

1. Lose the murder weapon. I don't care how much sentimental value you assign to it, it will land you in prison. Ballistics and forensic evidence will be all over it. The murder weapon is one of the key components of the prosecution's case against you.

2. Don't set up an "unknown stranger" murder. It doesn't work. Ever. And if you claim that stranger was black, it gets even worse. You don't possess the expertise to create the forensic crime scene of a burglar breaking in to steal your Blue Ray and kill your wife. Everyone who's tried this has heard the verdict "Guilty"

3. Get rid of your clothes. Burn them, preferably. Clothes are forensic evidence traps and while the gun powder residue will wash out, the blood, semen, or other DNA evidence won't. When you're dressing for a murder, don't wear anything you rue to part with.

4. Don't use a car to transport the body... Unless you plan to burn that too and dump it in a lake. Vehicles are also loaded with forensic evidence. And while using plastic might have worked for Dexter, in real life a little blood is going to leak out and you'll go to prison. If you like your Escalade, don't use it during a murder.

5. Don't involve several people. If you're going to kill a human being, have the balls to do it yourself and have as few witnesses or people who know about it as possible (preferably, noone). Remember the movie "Bully"? (Nick Stahl, Brad Renfro). Dude wanted to waste his best friend so he involved several of his pothead and tweeker friends to help. They all rolled over on each other like a puppy in obedience school and none of them could keep their traps shut.

6. Don't cooperate with authorities. Even if you're the bereaved spouse. This one's tricky because they will frame their investigation into you as trying to gather facts so they can capture the killer, but don't kid yourself, you're the first suspect and they may never pursue another. Lawyer up immediately. As Chris Rock said, it's better to look guilty and go home than to look innocent in prison.

7. Don't have any life insurance policies. If that's why you're killing him, ladies, don't bother. It's a giant red flag and you will land in prison.

8. Keep your damned piehole shut! Don't tell anyone you want to kill somebody, don't ask about hitmen who are available for hire, don't say shit to anyone about any detail of what you plan to do. If you ignore this advice, all those "friends" of yours will be at your trial testifying against you.

9. No Internet searches. Unless you plan to burn your laptop, melt your hard drive in a kiln, and dump it into a river 300 miles away. When you look up, "how-to-make-poison-with-homemade-ingredients" they're going to find that and they're going to use it against you.

10. Don't go on the internet and make threads about how to get away with murder. Assume that anything you say or write about in jest is going to be taken out of context and regurgitated in an accusatory light. Don't make stupid threads like this if you're planning on murdering somebody. They'll get you for that too.

Any other advice?

Keep the gun and replace the barrel,firing pin and ejector.
That way when they seize your weapon as evidence nothing matches making it appear less likely that it was you.
Of course you would need to get these items well in advance and from a unknown source,which is quite easy.

And a virgin barrel and firing pin would be used as evidence of trying to conceal a crime. Don't commit a murder with a gun you're attached to, and if possible, don't even use one of yours. In every case we watched where a suspect used his own gun, he was caught, even when the gun was missing....because it was missing.

And if you really want to show your talent at concealment, use a caliber that's not part of your own collection of guns.

Who said anything about new?
 
Ok, it's not serious. Put the knives away.

My wife and I have become FREAKS about watching NBC Dateline and other murder mystery shows and for fun, we're critiquing these guys who murder and debating where they went wrong and why they got caught. So I am forming a list of rules on getting away with murder and would love to have people add to it.

1. Lose the murder weapon. I don't care how much sentimental value you assign to it, it will land you in prison. Ballistics and forensic evidence will be all over it. The murder weapon is one of the key components of the prosecution's case against you.

2. Don't set up an "unknown stranger" murder. It doesn't work. Ever. And if you claim that stranger was black, it gets even worse. You don't possess the expertise to create the forensic crime scene of a burglar breaking in to steal your Blue Ray and kill your wife. Everyone who's tried this has heard the verdict "Guilty"

3. Get rid of your clothes. Burn them, preferably. Clothes are forensic evidence traps and while the gun powder residue will wash out, the blood, semen, or other DNA evidence won't. When you're dressing for a murder, don't wear anything you rue to part with.

4. Don't use a car to transport the body... Unless you plan to burn that too and dump it in a lake. Vehicles are also loaded with forensic evidence. And while using plastic might have worked for Dexter, in real life a little blood is going to leak out and you'll go to prison. If you like your Escalade, don't use it during a murder.

5. Don't involve several people. If you're going to kill a human being, have the balls to do it yourself and have as few witnesses or people who know about it as possible (preferably, noone). Remember the movie "Bully"? (Nick Stahl, Brad Renfro). Dude wanted to waste his best friend so he involved several of his pothead and tweeker friends to help. They all rolled over on each other like a puppy in obedience school and none of them could keep their traps shut.

6. Don't cooperate with authorities. Even if you're the bereaved spouse. This one's tricky because they will frame their investigation into you as trying to gather facts so they can capture the killer, but don't kid yourself, you're the first suspect and they may never pursue another. Lawyer up immediately. As Chris Rock said, it's better to look guilty and go home than to look innocent in prison.

7. Don't have any life insurance policies. If that's why you're killing him, ladies, don't bother. It's a giant red flag and you will land in prison.

8. Keep your damned piehole shut! Don't tell anyone you want to kill somebody, don't ask about hitmen who are available for hire, don't say shit to anyone about any detail of what you plan to do. If you ignore this advice, all those "friends" of yours will be at your trial testifying against you.

9. No Internet searches. Unless you plan to burn your laptop, melt your hard drive in a kiln, and dump it into a river 300 miles away. When you look up, "how-to-make-poison-with-homemade-ingredients" they're going to find that and they're going to use it against you.

10. Don't go on the internet and make threads about how to get away with murder. Assume that anything you say or write about in jest is going to be taken out of context and regurgitated in an accusatory light. Don't make stupid threads like this if you're planning on murdering somebody. They'll get you for that too.

Any other advice?

Keep the gun and replace the barrel,firing pin and ejector.
That way when they seize your weapon as evidence nothing matches making it appear less likely that it was you.
Of course you would need to get these items well in advance and from a unknown source,which is quite easy.

And a virgin barrel and firing pin would be used as evidence of trying to conceal a crime. Don't commit a murder with a gun you're attached to, and if possible, don't even use one of yours. In every case we watched where a suspect used his own gun, he was caught, even when the gun was missing....because it was missing.

And if you really want to show your talent at concealment, use a caliber that's not part of your own collection of guns.

Who said anything about new?

Sounds like you're just smart enough to go to prison. Professional killers who regularly get away with murder will get rid of the weapon to eliminate all possibility of being connected to it, but you know better. While you're in prison you can regale genpop with how clever you were and give them advice on how to shank another inmate and get away with it by changing out the blade.

Vaya con Dios!
 
Ok, it's not serious. Put the knives away.

My wife and I have become FREAKS about watching NBC Dateline and other murder mystery shows and for fun, we're critiquing these guys who murder and debating where they went wrong and why they got caught. So I am forming a list of rules on getting away with murder and would love to have people add to it.

1. Lose the murder weapon. I don't care how much sentimental value you assign to it, it will land you in prison. Ballistics and forensic evidence will be all over it. The murder weapon is one of the key components of the prosecution's case against you.

2. Don't set up an "unknown stranger" murder. It doesn't work. Ever. And if you claim that stranger was black, it gets even worse. You don't possess the expertise to create the forensic crime scene of a burglar breaking in to steal your Blue Ray and kill your wife. Everyone who's tried this has heard the verdict "Guilty"

3. Get rid of your clothes. Burn them, preferably. Clothes are forensic evidence traps and while the gun powder residue will wash out, the blood, semen, or other DNA evidence won't. When you're dressing for a murder, don't wear anything you rue to part with.

4. Don't use a car to transport the body... Unless you plan to burn that too and dump it in a lake. Vehicles are also loaded with forensic evidence. And while using plastic might have worked for Dexter, in real life a little blood is going to leak out and you'll go to prison. If you like your Escalade, don't use it during a murder.

5. Don't involve several people. If you're going to kill a human being, have the balls to do it yourself and have as few witnesses or people who know about it as possible (preferably, noone). Remember the movie "Bully"? (Nick Stahl, Brad Renfro). Dude wanted to waste his best friend so he involved several of his pothead and tweeker friends to help. They all rolled over on each other like a puppy in obedience school and none of them could keep their traps shut.

6. Don't cooperate with authorities. Even if you're the bereaved spouse. This one's tricky because they will frame their investigation into you as trying to gather facts so they can capture the killer, but don't kid yourself, you're the first suspect and they may never pursue another. Lawyer up immediately. As Chris Rock said, it's better to look guilty and go home than to look innocent in prison.

7. Don't have any life insurance policies. If that's why you're killing him, ladies, don't bother. It's a giant red flag and you will land in prison.

8. Keep your damned piehole shut! Don't tell anyone you want to kill somebody, don't ask about hitmen who are available for hire, don't say shit to anyone about any detail of what you plan to do. If you ignore this advice, all those "friends" of yours will be at your trial testifying against you.

9. No Internet searches. Unless you plan to burn your laptop, melt your hard drive in a kiln, and dump it into a river 300 miles away. When you look up, "how-to-make-poison-with-homemade-ingredients" they're going to find that and they're going to use it against you.

10. Don't go on the internet and make threads about how to get away with murder. Assume that anything you say or write about in jest is going to be taken out of context and regurgitated in an accusatory light. Don't make stupid threads like this if you're planning on murdering somebody. They'll get you for that too.

Any other advice?

Keep the gun and replace the barrel,firing pin and ejector.
That way when they seize your weapon as evidence nothing matches making it appear less likely that it was you.
Of course you would need to get these items well in advance and from a unknown source,which is quite easy.

And a virgin barrel and firing pin would be used as evidence of trying to conceal a crime. Don't commit a murder with a gun you're attached to, and if possible, don't even use one of yours. In every case we watched where a suspect used his own gun, he was caught, even when the gun was missing....because it was missing.

And if you really want to show your talent at concealment, use a caliber that's not part of your own collection of guns.

Who said anything about new?

Sounds like you're just smart enough to go to prison. Professional killers who regularly get away with murder will get rid of the weapon to eliminate all possibility of being connected to it, but you know better. While you're in prison you can regale genpop with how clever you were and give them advice on how to shank another inmate and get away with it by changing out the blade.

Vaya con Dios!

Sounds like you think this is a serious discussion.
Maybe you should get out of the house and stop watching so much TV tough guy.
And since you admitted you know nothing about it i'll take your advice with a grain of salt.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Ok, it's not serious. Put the knives away.

My wife and I have become FREAKS about watching NBC Dateline and other murder mystery shows and for fun, we're critiquing these guys who murder and debating where they went wrong and why they got caught. So I am forming a list of rules on getting away with murder and would love to have people add to it.

1. Lose the murder weapon. I don't care how much sentimental value you assign to it, it will land you in prison. Ballistics and forensic evidence will be all over it. The murder weapon is one of the key components of the prosecution's case against you.

2. Don't set up an "unknown stranger" murder. It doesn't work. Ever. And if you claim that stranger was black, it gets even worse. You don't possess the expertise to create the forensic crime scene of a burglar breaking in to steal your Blue Ray and kill your wife. Everyone who's tried this has heard the verdict "Guilty"

3. Get rid of your clothes. Burn them, preferably. Clothes are forensic evidence traps and while the gun powder residue will wash out, the blood, semen, or other DNA evidence won't. When you're dressing for a murder, don't wear anything you rue to part with.

4. Don't use a car to transport the body... Unless you plan to burn that too and dump it in a lake. Vehicles are also loaded with forensic evidence. And while using plastic might have worked for Dexter, in real life a little blood is going to leak out and you'll go to prison. If you like your Escalade, don't use it during a murder.

5. Don't involve several people. If you're going to kill a human being, have the balls to do it yourself and have as few witnesses or people who know about it as possible (preferably, noone). Remember the movie "Bully"? (Nick Stahl, Brad Renfro). Dude wanted to waste his best friend so he involved several of his pothead and tweeker friends to help. They all rolled over on each other like a puppy in obedience school and none of them could keep their traps shut.

6. Don't cooperate with authorities. Even if you're the bereaved spouse. This one's tricky because they will frame their investigation into you as trying to gather facts so they can capture the killer, but don't kid yourself, you're the first suspect and they may never pursue another. Lawyer up immediately. As Chris Rock said, it's better to look guilty and go home than to look innocent in prison.

7. Don't have any life insurance policies. If that's why you're killing him, ladies, don't bother. It's a giant red flag and you will land in prison.

8. Keep your damned piehole shut! Don't tell anyone you want to kill somebody, don't ask about hitmen who are available for hire, don't say shit to anyone about any detail of what you plan to do. If you ignore this advice, all those "friends" of yours will be at your trial testifying against you.

9. No Internet searches. Unless you plan to burn your laptop, melt your hard drive in a kiln, and dump it into a river 300 miles away. When you look up, "how-to-make-poison-with-homemade-ingredients" they're going to find that and they're going to use it against you.

10. Don't go on the internet and make threads about how to get away with murder. Assume that anything you say or write about in jest is going to be taken out of context and regurgitated in an accusatory light. Don't make stupid threads like this if you're planning on murdering somebody. They'll get you for that too.

Any other advice?

Keep the gun and replace the barrel,firing pin and ejector.
That way when they seize your weapon as evidence nothing matches making it appear less likely that it was you.
Of course you would need to get these items well in advance and from a unknown source,which is quite easy.

And a virgin barrel and firing pin would be used as evidence of trying to conceal a crime. Don't commit a murder with a gun you're attached to, and if possible, don't even use one of yours. In every case we watched where a suspect used his own gun, he was caught, even when the gun was missing....because it was missing.

And if you really want to show your talent at concealment, use a caliber that's not part of your own collection of guns.

Who said anything about new?

Sounds like you're just smart enough to go to prison. Professional killers who regularly get away with murder will get rid of the weapon to eliminate all possibility of being connected to it, but you know better. While you're in prison you can regale genpop with how clever you were and give them advice on how to shank another inmate and get away with it by changing out the blade.

Vaya con Dios!

Sounds like you think this is a serious discussion.
... Maybe you should get out of the house and stop watching so much TV tough guy.
And since you admitted you know nothing about it i'll take your advice with a grain of salt.
When did I admit that?
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Ok, it's not serious. Put the knives away.

My wife and I have become FREAKS about watching NBC Dateline and other murder mystery shows and for fun, we're critiquing these guys who murder and debating where they went wrong and why they got caught. So I am forming a list of rules on getting away with murder and would love to have people add to it.

1. Lose the murder weapon. I don't care how much sentimental value you assign to it, it will land you in prison. Ballistics and forensic evidence will be all over it. The murder weapon is one of the key components of the prosecution's case against you.

2. Don't set up an "unknown stranger" murder. It doesn't work. Ever. And if you claim that stranger was black, it gets even worse. You don't possess the expertise to create the forensic crime scene of a burglar breaking in to steal your Blue Ray and kill your wife. Everyone who's tried this has heard the verdict "Guilty"

3. Get rid of your clothes. Burn them, preferably. Clothes are forensic evidence traps and while the gun powder residue will wash out, the blood, semen, or other DNA evidence won't. When you're dressing for a murder, don't wear anything you rue to part with.

4. Don't use a car to transport the body... Unless you plan to burn that too and dump it in a lake. Vehicles are also loaded with forensic evidence. And while using plastic might have worked for Dexter, in real life a little blood is going to leak out and you'll go to prison. If you like your Escalade, don't use it during a murder.

5. Don't involve several people. If you're going to kill a human being, have the balls to do it yourself and have as few witnesses or people who know about it as possible (preferably, noone). Remember the movie "Bully"? (Nick Stahl, Brad Renfro). Dude wanted to waste his best friend so he involved several of his pothead and tweeker friends to help. They all rolled over on each other like a puppy in obedience school and none of them could keep their traps shut.

6. Don't cooperate with authorities. Even if you're the bereaved spouse. This one's tricky because they will frame their investigation into you as trying to gather facts so they can capture the killer, but don't kid yourself, you're the first suspect and they may never pursue another. Lawyer up immediately. As Chris Rock said, it's better to look guilty and go home than to look innocent in prison.

7. Don't have any life insurance policies. If that's why you're killing him, ladies, don't bother. It's a giant red flag and you will land in prison.

8. Keep your damned piehole shut! Don't tell anyone you want to kill somebody, don't ask about hitmen who are available for hire, don't say shit to anyone about any detail of what you plan to do. If you ignore this advice, all those "friends" of yours will be at your trial testifying against you.

9. No Internet searches. Unless you plan to burn your laptop, melt your hard drive in a kiln, and dump it into a river 300 miles away. When you look up, "how-to-make-poison-with-homemade-ingredients" they're going to find that and they're going to use it against you.

10. Don't go on the internet and make threads about how to get away with murder. Assume that anything you say or write about in jest is going to be taken out of context and regurgitated in an accusatory light. Don't make stupid threads like this if you're planning on murdering somebody. They'll get you for that too.

Any other advice?
Yes. Repent.
 
Ok, it's not serious. Put the knives away.

My wife and I have become FREAKS about watching NBC Dateline and other murder mystery shows and for fun, we're critiquing these guys who murder and debating where they went wrong and why they got caught. So I am forming a list of rules on getting away with murder and would love to have people add to it.

1. Lose the murder weapon. I don't care how much sentimental value you assign to it, it will land you in prison. Ballistics and forensic evidence will be all over it. The murder weapon is one of the key components of the prosecution's case against you.

2. Don't set up an "unknown stranger" murder. It doesn't work. Ever. And if you claim that stranger was black, it gets even worse. You don't possess the expertise to create the forensic crime scene of a burglar breaking in to steal your Blue Ray and kill your wife. Everyone who's tried this has heard the verdict "Guilty"

3. Get rid of your clothes. Burn them, preferably. Clothes are forensic evidence traps and while the gun powder residue will wash out, the blood, semen, or other DNA evidence won't. When you're dressing for a murder, don't wear anything you rue to part with.

4. Don't use a car to transport the body... Unless you plan to burn that too and dump it in a lake. Vehicles are also loaded with forensic evidence. And while using plastic might have worked for Dexter, in real life a little blood is going to leak out and you'll go to prison. If you like your Escalade, don't use it during a murder.

5. Don't involve several people. If you're going to kill a human being, have the balls to do it yourself and have as few witnesses or people who know about it as possible (preferably, noone). Remember the movie "Bully"? (Nick Stahl, Brad Renfro). Dude wanted to waste his best friend so he involved several of his pothead and tweeker friends to help. They all rolled over on each other like a puppy in obedience school and none of them could keep their traps shut.

6. Don't cooperate with authorities. Even if you're the bereaved spouse. This one's tricky because they will frame their investigation into you as trying to gather facts so they can capture the killer, but don't kid yourself, you're the first suspect and they may never pursue another. Lawyer up immediately. As Chris Rock said, it's better to look guilty and go home than to look innocent in prison.

7. Don't have any life insurance policies. If that's why you're killing him, ladies, don't bother. It's a giant red flag and you will land in prison.

8. Keep your damned piehole shut! Don't tell anyone you want to kill somebody, don't ask about hitmen who are available for hire, don't say shit to anyone about any detail of what you plan to do. If you ignore this advice, all those "friends" of yours will be at your trial testifying against you.

9. No Internet searches. Unless you plan to burn your laptop, melt your hard drive in a kiln, and dump it into a river 300 miles away. When you look up, "how-to-make-poison-with-homemade-ingredients" they're going to find that and they're going to use it against you.

10. Don't go on the internet and make threads about how to get away with murder. Assume that anything you say or write about in jest is going to be taken out of context and regurgitated in an accusatory light. Don't make stupid threads like this if you're planning on murdering somebody. They'll get you for that too.

Any other advice?
Yes. Repent.

Clearly. This is all an intellectual exercise, though.
 
Ok, it's not serious. Put the knives away.

My wife and I have become FREAKS about watching NBC Dateline and other murder mystery shows and for fun, we're critiquing these guys who murder and debating where they went wrong and why they got caught. So I am forming a list of rules on getting away with murder and would love to have people add to it.

1. Lose the murder weapon. I don't care how much sentimental value you assign to it, it will land you in prison. Ballistics and forensic evidence will be all over it. The murder weapon is one of the key components of the prosecution's case against you.

2. Don't set up an "unknown stranger" murder. It doesn't work. Ever. And if you claim that stranger was black, it gets even worse. You don't possess the expertise to create the forensic crime scene of a burglar breaking in to steal your Blue Ray and kill your wife. Everyone who's tried this has heard the verdict "Guilty"

3. Get rid of your clothes. Burn them, preferably. Clothes are forensic evidence traps and while the gun powder residue will wash out, the blood, semen, or other DNA evidence won't. When you're dressing for a murder, don't wear anything you rue to part with.

4. Don't use a car to transport the body... Unless you plan to burn that too and dump it in a lake. Vehicles are also loaded with forensic evidence. And while using plastic might have worked for Dexter, in real life a little blood is going to leak out and you'll go to prison. If you like your Escalade, don't use it during a murder.

5. Don't involve several people. If you're going to kill a human being, have the balls to do it yourself and have as few witnesses or people who know about it as possible (preferably, noone). Remember the movie "Bully"? (Nick Stahl, Brad Renfro). Dude wanted to waste his best friend so he involved several of his pothead and tweeker friends to help. They all rolled over on each other like a puppy in obedience school and none of them could keep their traps shut.

6. Don't cooperate with authorities. Even if you're the bereaved spouse. This one's tricky because they will frame their investigation into you as trying to gather facts so they can capture the killer, but don't kid yourself, you're the first suspect and they may never pursue another. Lawyer up immediately. As Chris Rock said, it's better to look guilty and go home than to look innocent in prison.

7. Don't have any life insurance policies. If that's why you're killing him, ladies, don't bother. It's a giant red flag and you will land in prison.

8. Keep your damned piehole shut! Don't tell anyone you want to kill somebody, don't ask about hitmen who are available for hire, don't say shit to anyone about any detail of what you plan to do. If you ignore this advice, all those "friends" of yours will be at your trial testifying against you.

9. No Internet searches. Unless you plan to burn your laptop, melt your hard drive in a kiln, and dump it into a river 300 miles away. When you look up, "how-to-make-poison-with-homemade-ingredients" they're going to find that and they're going to use it against you.

10. Don't go on the internet and make threads about how to get away with murder. Assume that anything you say or write about in jest is going to be taken out of context and regurgitated in an accusatory light. Don't make stupid threads like this if you're planning on murdering somebody. They'll get you for that too.

Any other advice?

Keep the gun and replace the barrel,firing pin and ejector.
That way when they seize your weapon as evidence nothing matches making it appear less likely that it was you.
Of course you would need to get these items well in advance and from a unknown source,which is quite easy.

And a virgin barrel and firing pin would be used as evidence of trying to conceal a crime. Don't commit a murder with a gun you're attached to, and if possible, don't even use one of yours. In every case we watched where a suspect used his own gun, he was caught, even when the gun was missing....because it was missing.

And if you really want to show your talent at concealment, use a caliber that's not part of your own collection of guns.

Who said anything about new?

Sounds like you're just smart enough to go to prison. Professional killers who regularly get away with murder will get rid of the weapon to eliminate all possibility of being connected to it, but you know better. While you're in prison you can regale genpop with how clever you were and give them advice on how to shank another inmate and get away with it by changing out the blade.

Vaya con Dios!

Sounds like you think this is a serious discussion.
You're some kind of dipshit aint ya. Maybe you should get out of the house and stop watching so much TV tough guy.
And since you admitted you know nothing about it i'll take your advice with a grain of salt.

One more thing, the rules are a different here, no flaming, no name calling. I know you don't like me and I don't care, but I don't want to see you get in trouble. This is all theory, and the theoretical guy you posed to change out the barrel, firing pin, and ejector would end up getting caught IRL. Let's stick to that.
 
Keep the gun and replace the barrel,firing pin and ejector.
That way when they seize your weapon as evidence nothing matches making it appear less likely that it was you.
Of course you would need to get these items well in advance and from a unknown source,which is quite easy.

And a virgin barrel and firing pin would be used as evidence of trying to conceal a crime. Don't commit a murder with a gun you're attached to, and if possible, don't even use one of yours. In every case we watched where a suspect used his own gun, he was caught, even when the gun was missing....because it was missing.

And if you really want to show your talent at concealment, use a caliber that's not part of your own collection of guns.

Who said anything about new?

Sounds like you're just smart enough to go to prison. Professional killers who regularly get away with murder will get rid of the weapon to eliminate all possibility of being connected to it, but you know better. While you're in prison you can regale genpop with how clever you were and give them advice on how to shank another inmate and get away with it by changing out the blade.

Vaya con Dios!

Sounds like you think this is a serious discussion.
You're some kind of dipshit aint ya. Maybe you should get out of the house and stop watching so much TV tough guy.
And since you admitted you know nothing about it i'll take your advice with a grain of salt.
When did I admit that?

So you're an accomplished murderer?
Dude you need to lighten up.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Keep the gun and replace the barrel,firing pin and ejector.
That way when they seize your weapon as evidence nothing matches making it appear less likely that it was you.
Of course you would need to get these items well in advance and from a unknown source,which is quite easy.

And a virgin barrel and firing pin would be used as evidence of trying to conceal a crime. Don't commit a murder with a gun you're attached to, and if possible, don't even use one of yours. In every case we watched where a suspect used his own gun, he was caught, even when the gun was missing....because it was missing.

And if you really want to show your talent at concealment, use a caliber that's not part of your own collection of guns.

Who said anything about new?

Sounds like you're just smart enough to go to prison. Professional killers who regularly get away with murder will get rid of the weapon to eliminate all possibility of being connected to it, but you know better. While you're in prison you can regale genpop with how clever you were and give them advice on how to shank another inmate and get away with it by changing out the blade.

Vaya con Dios!

Sounds like you think this is a serious discussion.
You're some kind of dipshit aint ya. Maybe you should get out of the house and stop watching so much TV tough guy.
And since you admitted you know nothing about it i'll take your advice with a grain of salt.

One more thing, the rules are a different here, no flaming, no name calling. I know you don't like me and I don't care, but I don't want to see you get in trouble. This is all theory, and the theoretical guy you posed to change out the barrel, firing pin, and ejector would end up getting caught IRL. Let's stick to that.

You should have put it the CDZ and you shouldnt have been such a dickhead about it.
So how exactly do they trace a casing or slug to you when none of the ballistics match?
I have all of those parts right now from different ARs I've built. It aint rocket science.
 
Ok, it's not serious. Put the knives away.

My wife and I have become FREAKS about watching NBC Dateline and other murder mystery shows and for fun, we're critiquing these guys who murder and debating where they went wrong and why they got caught. So I am forming a list of rules on getting away with murder and would love to have people add to it.

1. Lose the murder weapon. I don't care how much sentimental value you assign to it, it will land you in prison. Ballistics and forensic evidence will be all over it. The murder weapon is one of the key components of the prosecution's case against you.

2. Don't set up an "unknown stranger" murder. It doesn't work. Ever. And if you claim that stranger was black, it gets even worse. You don't possess the expertise to create the forensic crime scene of a burglar breaking in to steal your Blue Ray and kill your wife. Everyone who's tried this has heard the verdict "Guilty"

3. Get rid of your clothes. Burn them, preferably. Clothes are forensic evidence traps and while the gun powder residue will wash out, the blood, semen, or other DNA evidence won't. When you're dressing for a murder, don't wear anything you rue to part with.

4. Don't use a car to transport the body... Unless you plan to burn that too and dump it in a lake. Vehicles are also loaded with forensic evidence. And while using plastic might have worked for Dexter, in real life a little blood is going to leak out and you'll go to prison. If you like your Escalade, don't use it during a murder.

5. Don't involve several people. If you're going to kill a human being, have the balls to do it yourself and have as few witnesses or people who know about it as possible (preferably, noone). Remember the movie "Bully"? (Nick Stahl, Brad Renfro). Dude wanted to waste his best friend so he involved several of his pothead and tweeker friends to help. They all rolled over on each other like a puppy in obedience school and none of them could keep their traps shut.

6. Don't cooperate with authorities. Even if you're the bereaved spouse. This one's tricky because they will frame their investigation into you as trying to gather facts so they can capture the killer, but don't kid yourself, you're the first suspect and they may never pursue another. Lawyer up immediately. As Chris Rock said, it's better to look guilty and go home than to look innocent in prison.

7. Don't have any life insurance policies. If that's why you're killing him, ladies, don't bother. It's a giant red flag and you will land in prison.

8. Keep your damned piehole shut! Don't tell anyone you want to kill somebody, don't ask about hitmen who are available for hire, don't say shit to anyone about any detail of what you plan to do. If you ignore this advice, all those "friends" of yours will be at your trial testifying against you.

9. No Internet searches. Unless you plan to burn your laptop, melt your hard drive in a kiln, and dump it into a river 300 miles away. When you look up, "how-to-make-poison-with-homemade-ingredients" they're going to find that and they're going to use it against you.

10. Don't go on the internet and make threads about how to get away with murder. Assume that anything you say or write about in jest is going to be taken out of context and regurgitated in an accusatory light. Don't make stupid threads like this if you're planning on murdering somebody. They'll get you for that too.

Any other advice?

Keep the gun and replace the barrel,firing pin and ejector.
That way when they seize your weapon as evidence nothing matches making it appear less likely that it was you.
Of course you would need to get these items well in advance and from a unknown source,which is quite easy.

And a virgin barrel and firing pin would be used as evidence of trying to conceal a crime. Don't commit a murder with a gun you're attached to, and if possible, don't even use one of yours. In every case we watched where a suspect used his own gun, he was caught, even when the gun was missing....because it was missing.

And if you really want to show your talent at concealment, use a caliber that's not part of your own collection of guns.

Who said anything about new?

Sounds like you're just smart enough to go to prison. Professional killers who regularly get away with murder will get rid of the weapon to eliminate all possibility of being connected to it, but you know better. While you're in prison you can regale genpop with how clever you were and give them advice on how to shank another inmate and get away with it by changing out the blade.

Vaya con Dios!

Have you been drinking?
YOU STATED....."he was caught, even when the gun was missing....because it was missing."
I give you an alternative and you get all ignorant. I really didnt have an opinion about you one way or another,but I do now.
 
And a virgin barrel and firing pin would be used as evidence of trying to conceal a crime. Don't commit a murder with a gun you're attached to, and if possible, don't even use one of yours. In every case we watched where a suspect used his own gun, he was caught, even when the gun was missing....because it was missing.

And if you really want to show your talent at concealment, use a caliber that's not part of your own collection of guns.

Who said anything about new?

Sounds like you're just smart enough to go to prison. Professional killers who regularly get away with murder will get rid of the weapon to eliminate all possibility of being connected to it, but you know better. While you're in prison you can regale genpop with how clever you were and give them advice on how to shank another inmate and get away with it by changing out the blade.

Vaya con Dios!

Sounds like you think this is a serious discussion.
You're some kind of dipshit aint ya. Maybe you should get out of the house and stop watching so much TV tough guy.
And since you admitted you know nothing about it i'll take your advice with a grain of salt.
When did I admit that?

So you're an accomplished murderer?
Dude you need to lighten the fuck up.

Likewise. You're very keyed up, just settle down and make your case.
 
And a virgin barrel and firing pin would be used as evidence of trying to conceal a crime. Don't commit a murder with a gun you're attached to, and if possible, don't even use one of yours. In every case we watched where a suspect used his own gun, he was caught, even when the gun was missing....because it was missing.

And if you really want to show your talent at concealment, use a caliber that's not part of your own collection of guns.

Who said anything about new?

Sounds like you're just smart enough to go to prison. Professional killers who regularly get away with murder will get rid of the weapon to eliminate all possibility of being connected to it, but you know better. While you're in prison you can regale genpop with how clever you were and give them advice on how to shank another inmate and get away with it by changing out the blade.

Vaya con Dios!

Sounds like you think this is a serious discussion.
You're some kind of dipshit aint ya. Maybe you should get out of the house and stop watching so much TV tough guy.
And since you admitted you know nothing about it i'll take your advice with a grain of salt.

One more thing, the rules are a different here, no flaming, no name calling. I know you don't like me and I don't care, but I don't want to see you get in trouble. This is all theory, and the theoretical guy you posed to change out the barrel, firing pin, and ejector would end up getting caught IRL. Let's stick to that.

You should have put it the CDZ and you shouldnt have been such a dickhead about it.
So how exactly do they trace a casing or slug to you when none of the ballistics match?
I have all of those parts right now from different ARs I've built. It aint rocket science.

Do you know what's frightening about the NBC Dateline episodes we watch? How the prosecution makes their entire case on circumstantial evidence and still gets convictions. The things they imply put people behind bars, one of the reasons I'm so against the death penalty. Do you have expertise in changing out barrels on AR-15's? It will be brought up at trial. Do you have a weapon that seems to have a barrel that was changed recently as revealed by tool marks and wear patterns on the head spacing? That too will be introduced.

What's more frightening than the convictions prosecutors get on innuendo is the fact that the dramas my wife and I watch are real, not fictional. Many of them I'm not convinced were actually guilty and I couldn't imagine myself on that jury sending somebody to prison for life based on the flimsy case made against them. A murder weapon recovered by police can only work against you, not for you. If you are a huge AR fan, then kill the person with a gun of a caliber you never fired in your life and get rid of it.
 

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