excalibur
Diamond Member
- Mar 19, 2015
- 17,954
- 34,007
- 2,290
These sucka's are a laugh a minute. Yet the MSM keeps falling for these stories. 
A KANG GETS CROWNED
www.takimag.com
A KANG GETS CROWNED
Make a note that he walks dogs, and he trains dogs. But he does not, however, train dogs to walk. If your dog does not know how to walk, Romeyās Rascals is not the place to take it, because proper walking is not Kangās forte. Thatāll make more sense shortly.
Last month, Romey Kang was the victim of the most horrific racist hate crime in the recorded history of the known universe (at least thatās how the papers portrayed it). He had been visiting nearby Folsom (the city, not the prison), and three (or two, or one) evil Nazi racists gave him a terrible case of the black ānā blues.
āManās Face is Broken in āHate Attackā Near Sacramento,ā bellowed Yahoo News. Kang, who was found bloody and unconscious by cops on a city street, told police that as heād been skipping merrily from a local drinking establishment, a āCaucasian man in a white shirtā beat him up for no other reason than āhe didnāt like the color of my skin.ā Kang later told cops it was actually two Caucasian white-shirted racists. Then it became three, because Nazis are shape-shifters who reproduce by fission.
...
The heavy drinking and the magical multiplying racists didnāt tip anyone off that the story might have holes. After all, Kang, who was oddly cagey in interviews regarding his ethnicity (he appears Indian, and Romey as a male given name, and Kang as a surname, can be Punjabi), pointed out that the attacker(s) stole nothing. So if robbery had not been the motive, what else could it have been? Sure, if he were some comically clumsy Hrundi V. Bakshi caricature, one might suggest that he drunkenly face-planted onto the pavement, rendering his visage bruised, bloated, and birdie-numbānumbed.
...
With the publicity provided by the breathless Yahoo and CBS News coverage, Kang launched a GoFundMe, which quickly spread online. By the beginning of February, heād made over $20,000. But last week, police checked nearby home and business surveillance videos, and while they didnāt see a hate crime, they were treated to a wacky drunken solo face-first fall video worthy of Bob Saget.
The local CBS affiliate broke the terrible news that Kangās face was self-broken.
...
A ārascalā indeed. And considering that thereās likely not much future in being a dog walker who canāt walk, it looks like once Kang is free of his legal entanglements and looking for employment, heāll have to hit the road and pound the pavement.
Again.
Last month, Romey Kang was the victim of the most horrific racist hate crime in the recorded history of the known universe (at least thatās how the papers portrayed it). He had been visiting nearby Folsom (the city, not the prison), and three (or two, or one) evil Nazi racists gave him a terrible case of the black ānā blues.
āManās Face is Broken in āHate Attackā Near Sacramento,ā bellowed Yahoo News. Kang, who was found bloody and unconscious by cops on a city street, told police that as heād been skipping merrily from a local drinking establishment, a āCaucasian man in a white shirtā beat him up for no other reason than āhe didnāt like the color of my skin.ā Kang later told cops it was actually two Caucasian white-shirted racists. Then it became three, because Nazis are shape-shifters who reproduce by fission.
...
The heavy drinking and the magical multiplying racists didnāt tip anyone off that the story might have holes. After all, Kang, who was oddly cagey in interviews regarding his ethnicity (he appears Indian, and Romey as a male given name, and Kang as a surname, can be Punjabi), pointed out that the attacker(s) stole nothing. So if robbery had not been the motive, what else could it have been? Sure, if he were some comically clumsy Hrundi V. Bakshi caricature, one might suggest that he drunkenly face-planted onto the pavement, rendering his visage bruised, bloated, and birdie-numbānumbed.
...
With the publicity provided by the breathless Yahoo and CBS News coverage, Kang launched a GoFundMe, which quickly spread online. By the beginning of February, heād made over $20,000. But last week, police checked nearby home and business surveillance videos, and while they didnāt see a hate crime, they were treated to a wacky drunken solo face-first fall video worthy of Bob Saget.
The local CBS affiliate broke the terrible news that Kangās face was self-broken.
...
A ārascalā indeed. And considering that thereās likely not much future in being a dog walker who canāt walk, it looks like once Kang is free of his legal entanglements and looking for employment, heāll have to hit the road and pound the pavement.
Again.
