- Sep 22, 2013
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Harley Quinn (DC Comics) is a very fascinating and sinister anti-heroine from Batman comics. Harley is a nemesis of the heroic urban masked vigilante Batman (aka, 'the Dark Knight') and confounds his beloved Gotham City with all kinds of subversive crimes, pranks, anarchy, and of course, terrorism(!). Batman believes Harley was once sane and worthy of love, since she was a respected criminal psychologist/psychiatrist named Dr. Harleen Quinzel before being 'seduced' and 'maddened' by Batman's worst enemy the Joker.
Since becoming an ally of the Joker, Dr. Quinzel changed her named to Harley Quinn (spin on 'harlequin') and dressed up like a demonic clown (not unlike her demonic clown-faced partner-in-crime the Joker!).
Harley is responsible for a wide range of crimes, sometimes working alone or allying herself for short periods of time with some of Batman's other enemies (including the eco-terrorist Poison Ivy, the Gotham ghoulish crime-master Penguin, and the eerie masked maniac Scarecrow).
It seems the Joker was able to convince Dr. Quinzel that committing one's mind/body/soul to a life of crime and anarchy is much more 'therapeutic' and 'rewarding' than a simple and dutiful life in treating the criminally-insane (at Arkham Asylum). Harley Quinn is as every bit as devious and untrustworthy as her partner Joker, and Batman knows to temper his emotions and empathy when dealing with Harley who is otherwise quite attractive physically, despite her odd/costumed appearance. Batman must not forget that while Harley Quinn is a 'mad woman' she is also quite dangerous.
This dimensionality of Harley Quinn makes her both intriguing and wondrous, which is why she's a terrific 'muse' for anyone interested in getting into Batman comics and special characters in that DC Comics universe including Poison Ivy, Catwoman, Ra's al Ghul, and Bane.
So here's a comics-stylized 'fan-fic' designed to present the more 'folkloric' side/face of the unrighteous Harley Quinn. After all, shouldn't comics make us feel more 'divine' about life in the modern city?
Enjoy!
====
"Darn-tootin cops of Gotham; makes me wanna take a bite out of God."
Harley Quinn looked at her sinister Joker wrist-watch and waited outside a seedy nightclub in a seedy part of Gotham City where there were some corrupt GCPD cops rumored to be regularly spending time. The nightclub was called the Smoke, and it 'entertained' prostitutes and sailors as well as mob henchmen and some possible disguised enemies of the heroic vigilante Batman. Harley stood in the alley behind Smoke with her two favorite pets (a gift from the Joker!), two vicious hyenas named Earl and Ernie ['EE'].
"If one of those scummy cops pops out of Smoke, I wantchya to maul 'em to death, EE!!"
Harley noticed her two darlings (EE) were very obedient to her terrible command and waited with glee for any of those 'scummy GCPD cops' to pop out into that dark and seedy alley behind Smoke. She looked at her wrist-watch again, and it read 11 p.m. It was time for her to carry out her hellish deed. She carefully placed a pack of gift-wrapped dynamite in that alley behind the nightclub and hopped into her buggy-car parked a little ways away with her two hyenas and sped away as Smoke blew to smithereens, instantly killing everyone (including the 'scummy GCPD cops') inside the nightclub.
The next day (Sunday), Gotham's favorite socialite-businessman Bruce Wayne picked up his newspaper his kindly butler Alfred Pennyworth (the man who raised Bruce after his parents were killed in an alley outside the Gotham Opera-House) left for him on his den table. Bruce pulled back the huge curtains of the giant window in the den which gave way to a bright sun on a beautiful Sunday morning. He sat down and began reading the Gazette and enjoying the toast and eggs Alfred prepared for him (along with black coffee) and petting his cat Smiley.
"What the hell? This is the Gazette headline today(!) --- Harley Quinn suspected of blowing up the nightclub Smoke; three GCPD cops killed!"
Bruce couldn't believe what he read. He instantly jumped up and ran down to the basement of his lavish Wayne Mansion, the location of the secret Bat-Cave. That's because, of course, Bruce Wayne was actually the heroic masked vigilante Batman, but no one knew this secret. Bruce decided to turn to a life of 'non-traditional crime-fighting' as a way to cope with the unrighteous murder of his parents when he was a young boy. Bruce's butler Alfred coaxed Bruce into becoming just a normal citizen and businessman (and inheritor of his father's lucrative company Wayne Industries), but as Bruce learned more and more crime-fighting tactics and developed skills at law-enforcement and combat (going so far as to travel to Nepal to study with a secret ninja-clan for hand-to-hand-combat), Alfred stepped aside and fostered Bruce's newfound passion for crime-fighting. Bruce donned a bat-like costume and mask and became Batman. Now, Batman was truly worried about what the unpredictable Harley Quinn had planned for Gotham in the near future.
Batman was driving in his armored and weaponized Bat-Mobile the next week. It was Saturday night, and Batman was sure that Harley Quinn planned to blow something else up just as she did the previous Saturday night. Batman wondered if Harley was orchestrating a 'Saturday night fever' series of terrorism-oriented crimes in Gotham for her menacing 'master' and 'ally' the Joker. Batman wondered how much safer Gotham would be had Harley remained a respected criminal psychiatrist (named Dr. Harleen Quinzel) instead of being 'converted' by one of her actual patients at Arkham Asylum --- the Joker(!).
Batman prowled and patrolled the Gotham streets that Saturday night in his Bat-Mobile, with a nervousness, since he was still sure Harley was going to blow something else up that night. It wasn't raining or particularly cold, so there were a number of pedestrians out-and-about, traveling to pubs and nightclubs and restaurants. Batman suddenly remembered the Gazette headline describing the opening of a new Gotham restaurant called The Prawn, co-managed by the city's newest district attorney, Harvey Dent (a man considered to be a 'radical idealist' and great addition to Gotham law and order!). Batman reasoned Harley would blow up The Prawn as a gesture to 'prove' that Harvey Dent was simply a 'tool' --- perhaps a subversive deed committed by her for her 'guru' the Joker. Batman sped towards The Prawn in his Bat-Mobile.
HARLEY: How'd you find me, Batman??
BATMAN: I reasoned you'd spike the Prawn opening...
HARLEY: So you guessed I can't stand Mr. Dent --- so what?
BATMAN: Harvey Dent may be what this city needs, Dr. Quinzel!
HARLEY: Gosh, no one's called me 'Dr. Quinel' in like forever.
BATMAN: I see you're here with your two darlings, Harley --- Earl and Ernie.
HARLEY: Aww, you remember them; hard to forget they tried to bite your kneecaps.
BATMAN: They're obviously protective of you, but not of anyone else.
HARLEY: Don't forget my guru and best-friend, the Joker; Earl/Ernie love him!
BATMAN: I'm sure they do; I'm taking you to Arkham Asylum for incarceration.
HARLEY: I can't believe you managed to tie me and EE up with that rope-gun.
BATMAN: My rope-gun is handy. EE is fine in the trunk now; you just sit there.
HARLEY: This is a very fancy 'Bat-Mobile.'
BATMAN: Well, I'm 'pleased' you find my transportation-option favorable...
HARLEY: So what can the docs at Arkham do what Joker can not, Batman?
BATMAN: There're real doctors in Arkham; they'll undo what Joker did to you.
HARLEY: Joker only awakened me to the reality of the 'real city' --- anarchy.
BATMAN: Your conviction in anarchy seems to be one of rage, not erudition.
HARLEY: Sometimes rage is as 'perceptive' as erudition, Batman.
BATMAN: Terrorism and mayhem are never 'cures' to urban ugliness.
HARLEY: Look, you like law (like those 'good 'ole' Gotham cops); I like hell (like Joker)!
BATMAN: Why don't you investigate the spiritual benefits of nonviolent Luciferianism?
HARLEY: I'd rather get into Satanism than formal/denominational Luciferianism...
BATMAN: Well, the doctors at Arkham will offer you real lifestyle remedies, Dr. Quinzel.
HARLEY: There ya go again, Batman --- calling me 'Dr. Quinzel' (if Joker only knew!)!
BATMAN: Maybe I see the erudite beautiful woman beneath that awful clown-makeup.
HARLEY: I doubt you find the likes of me as someone...with potential(!).
BATMAN: No one is above redemption.
HARLEY: Perhaps that's right; but some are below the 'happiness-line.'
BATMAN: I trust Arkham will help you find that 'doll' within, Harley Quinn!
====
Since becoming an ally of the Joker, Dr. Quinzel changed her named to Harley Quinn (spin on 'harlequin') and dressed up like a demonic clown (not unlike her demonic clown-faced partner-in-crime the Joker!).
Harley is responsible for a wide range of crimes, sometimes working alone or allying herself for short periods of time with some of Batman's other enemies (including the eco-terrorist Poison Ivy, the Gotham ghoulish crime-master Penguin, and the eerie masked maniac Scarecrow).
It seems the Joker was able to convince Dr. Quinzel that committing one's mind/body/soul to a life of crime and anarchy is much more 'therapeutic' and 'rewarding' than a simple and dutiful life in treating the criminally-insane (at Arkham Asylum). Harley Quinn is as every bit as devious and untrustworthy as her partner Joker, and Batman knows to temper his emotions and empathy when dealing with Harley who is otherwise quite attractive physically, despite her odd/costumed appearance. Batman must not forget that while Harley Quinn is a 'mad woman' she is also quite dangerous.
This dimensionality of Harley Quinn makes her both intriguing and wondrous, which is why she's a terrific 'muse' for anyone interested in getting into Batman comics and special characters in that DC Comics universe including Poison Ivy, Catwoman, Ra's al Ghul, and Bane.
So here's a comics-stylized 'fan-fic' designed to present the more 'folkloric' side/face of the unrighteous Harley Quinn. After all, shouldn't comics make us feel more 'divine' about life in the modern city?
Enjoy!
====
"Darn-tootin cops of Gotham; makes me wanna take a bite out of God."
Harley Quinn looked at her sinister Joker wrist-watch and waited outside a seedy nightclub in a seedy part of Gotham City where there were some corrupt GCPD cops rumored to be regularly spending time. The nightclub was called the Smoke, and it 'entertained' prostitutes and sailors as well as mob henchmen and some possible disguised enemies of the heroic vigilante Batman. Harley stood in the alley behind Smoke with her two favorite pets (a gift from the Joker!), two vicious hyenas named Earl and Ernie ['EE'].
"If one of those scummy cops pops out of Smoke, I wantchya to maul 'em to death, EE!!"
Harley noticed her two darlings (EE) were very obedient to her terrible command and waited with glee for any of those 'scummy GCPD cops' to pop out into that dark and seedy alley behind Smoke. She looked at her wrist-watch again, and it read 11 p.m. It was time for her to carry out her hellish deed. She carefully placed a pack of gift-wrapped dynamite in that alley behind the nightclub and hopped into her buggy-car parked a little ways away with her two hyenas and sped away as Smoke blew to smithereens, instantly killing everyone (including the 'scummy GCPD cops') inside the nightclub.
The next day (Sunday), Gotham's favorite socialite-businessman Bruce Wayne picked up his newspaper his kindly butler Alfred Pennyworth (the man who raised Bruce after his parents were killed in an alley outside the Gotham Opera-House) left for him on his den table. Bruce pulled back the huge curtains of the giant window in the den which gave way to a bright sun on a beautiful Sunday morning. He sat down and began reading the Gazette and enjoying the toast and eggs Alfred prepared for him (along with black coffee) and petting his cat Smiley.
"What the hell? This is the Gazette headline today(!) --- Harley Quinn suspected of blowing up the nightclub Smoke; three GCPD cops killed!"
Bruce couldn't believe what he read. He instantly jumped up and ran down to the basement of his lavish Wayne Mansion, the location of the secret Bat-Cave. That's because, of course, Bruce Wayne was actually the heroic masked vigilante Batman, but no one knew this secret. Bruce decided to turn to a life of 'non-traditional crime-fighting' as a way to cope with the unrighteous murder of his parents when he was a young boy. Bruce's butler Alfred coaxed Bruce into becoming just a normal citizen and businessman (and inheritor of his father's lucrative company Wayne Industries), but as Bruce learned more and more crime-fighting tactics and developed skills at law-enforcement and combat (going so far as to travel to Nepal to study with a secret ninja-clan for hand-to-hand-combat), Alfred stepped aside and fostered Bruce's newfound passion for crime-fighting. Bruce donned a bat-like costume and mask and became Batman. Now, Batman was truly worried about what the unpredictable Harley Quinn had planned for Gotham in the near future.
Batman was driving in his armored and weaponized Bat-Mobile the next week. It was Saturday night, and Batman was sure that Harley Quinn planned to blow something else up just as she did the previous Saturday night. Batman wondered if Harley was orchestrating a 'Saturday night fever' series of terrorism-oriented crimes in Gotham for her menacing 'master' and 'ally' the Joker. Batman wondered how much safer Gotham would be had Harley remained a respected criminal psychiatrist (named Dr. Harleen Quinzel) instead of being 'converted' by one of her actual patients at Arkham Asylum --- the Joker(!).
Batman prowled and patrolled the Gotham streets that Saturday night in his Bat-Mobile, with a nervousness, since he was still sure Harley was going to blow something else up that night. It wasn't raining or particularly cold, so there were a number of pedestrians out-and-about, traveling to pubs and nightclubs and restaurants. Batman suddenly remembered the Gazette headline describing the opening of a new Gotham restaurant called The Prawn, co-managed by the city's newest district attorney, Harvey Dent (a man considered to be a 'radical idealist' and great addition to Gotham law and order!). Batman reasoned Harley would blow up The Prawn as a gesture to 'prove' that Harvey Dent was simply a 'tool' --- perhaps a subversive deed committed by her for her 'guru' the Joker. Batman sped towards The Prawn in his Bat-Mobile.
HARLEY: How'd you find me, Batman??
BATMAN: I reasoned you'd spike the Prawn opening...
HARLEY: So you guessed I can't stand Mr. Dent --- so what?
BATMAN: Harvey Dent may be what this city needs, Dr. Quinzel!
HARLEY: Gosh, no one's called me 'Dr. Quinel' in like forever.
BATMAN: I see you're here with your two darlings, Harley --- Earl and Ernie.
HARLEY: Aww, you remember them; hard to forget they tried to bite your kneecaps.
BATMAN: They're obviously protective of you, but not of anyone else.
HARLEY: Don't forget my guru and best-friend, the Joker; Earl/Ernie love him!
BATMAN: I'm sure they do; I'm taking you to Arkham Asylum for incarceration.
HARLEY: I can't believe you managed to tie me and EE up with that rope-gun.
BATMAN: My rope-gun is handy. EE is fine in the trunk now; you just sit there.
HARLEY: This is a very fancy 'Bat-Mobile.'
BATMAN: Well, I'm 'pleased' you find my transportation-option favorable...
HARLEY: So what can the docs at Arkham do what Joker can not, Batman?
BATMAN: There're real doctors in Arkham; they'll undo what Joker did to you.
HARLEY: Joker only awakened me to the reality of the 'real city' --- anarchy.
BATMAN: Your conviction in anarchy seems to be one of rage, not erudition.
HARLEY: Sometimes rage is as 'perceptive' as erudition, Batman.
BATMAN: Terrorism and mayhem are never 'cures' to urban ugliness.
HARLEY: Look, you like law (like those 'good 'ole' Gotham cops); I like hell (like Joker)!
BATMAN: Why don't you investigate the spiritual benefits of nonviolent Luciferianism?
HARLEY: I'd rather get into Satanism than formal/denominational Luciferianism...
BATMAN: Well, the doctors at Arkham will offer you real lifestyle remedies, Dr. Quinzel.
HARLEY: There ya go again, Batman --- calling me 'Dr. Quinzel' (if Joker only knew!)!
BATMAN: Maybe I see the erudite beautiful woman beneath that awful clown-makeup.
HARLEY: I doubt you find the likes of me as someone...with potential(!).
BATMAN: No one is above redemption.
HARLEY: Perhaps that's right; but some are below the 'happiness-line.'
BATMAN: I trust Arkham will help you find that 'doll' within, Harley Quinn!
====
