- Mar 11, 2015
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In discussing race in this forum we see all kinds of stereotyped factless comments coming primarily from the right. The common claim is that if blacks got motivated, educated, and worked hard we can succeed because white racism isn't the problem. Here we see an example of blacks doing everything that right wingers say blacks should do and still racism limited their opportunities.
I pushed my kids to succeed academically to escape racism. But it doesn't work that way
Moms everywhere are suffering from burnout. But Black mom burnout is different. As a Black mother to two teenage sons and a toddler daughter, I find myself wondering: Will my children be perceived as a threat and cut down in their prime because of their race? Will they miss out because they’re invisible to whoever is passing out the opportunities? Do they have to be perceived as perfect to get any chance to seize their dreams?
Many people of color often turn to the one tool we have in our own shed — the instinct to try to outwork any negative perceptions of us, to tackle the questions that haunt us like the spirits of our ancestors. We’re taught to overwork to prove ourselves beyond the reach of racism and to render racist stereotypes unbelievable or even laughable.
But is this tendency to overwork — and our tendency to encourage our children to do the same — an attempt to outrun systemic issues beyond our control?
Growing up in Tennessee, I was taught working hard was the key to everything — happiness, upward mobility and rising above racism in the South. And while I consider my work ethic one of my greatest gifts, it seems the neat equation of “racism + hard work = less discrimination” doesn’t always add up.
“Work twice as hard to get half as much” was the mantra many of us were raised on, but it is considered by most Black moms today to be played-out advice from our parents’ generation. Despite that, racism and its effects haven’t expired, and in many ways, they’ve been given new life in this era.
Op-Ed: I pushed my kids to succeed academically to escape racism. But it doesn't work that way
The problem with those who call themselves in opposition is the fact that they believe things that do not apply to the way blacks are raised. Perhaps if you are white and don't put in the effort, you will not not suceed. Perhaps if you are white and don't focus on education you will fail. But when we as blacks try talking to you about this you need to stop pretending that white racism is not a hurdle. Whites do not face this:
“I can say for sure that happens because I did it. Before retirement, I was an Engineer. For the last 20 years of my career, I was a Manager and Director and I hired hundreds of people. I reviewed well over a thousand resumes for all kinds of positions. Everything from Secretaries to Engineering Managers. Both Salary and Hourly. I always culled out the resumes with Black Ethnic names. Never shortlisted anybody with a Black Ethnic name. Never hired them.” Since the Fortune 50 company I worked for had a stupid “affirmative action” hiring policies I never mentioned it to anybody and I always got away with it. A couple of times I was instructed to improve my departmental “diversity” demographics but I always ignored it and never got into any trouble. My stereotype is that anybody with a stupid ghetto Black ethnic name is probably worthless. I could have been wrong a couple of times but I was also probably right 99% of the time. Glad I did it. I would do it again.”
So explain why blacks can do everything you guys claim we need to do and still face racism. This thread is not about your ignorant factless opinions about blacks, black crime, Asians or everything else you guys do to avoid discussing the impact of white racism. So any and all off topic posts will be reported from the start. So you have two choices, explain why blacks do everything you guys say we need to do but still face white racism, or don't post in this thread.
I pushed my kids to succeed academically to escape racism. But it doesn't work that way
Moms everywhere are suffering from burnout. But Black mom burnout is different. As a Black mother to two teenage sons and a toddler daughter, I find myself wondering: Will my children be perceived as a threat and cut down in their prime because of their race? Will they miss out because they’re invisible to whoever is passing out the opportunities? Do they have to be perceived as perfect to get any chance to seize their dreams?
Many people of color often turn to the one tool we have in our own shed — the instinct to try to outwork any negative perceptions of us, to tackle the questions that haunt us like the spirits of our ancestors. We’re taught to overwork to prove ourselves beyond the reach of racism and to render racist stereotypes unbelievable or even laughable.
But is this tendency to overwork — and our tendency to encourage our children to do the same — an attempt to outrun systemic issues beyond our control?
Growing up in Tennessee, I was taught working hard was the key to everything — happiness, upward mobility and rising above racism in the South. And while I consider my work ethic one of my greatest gifts, it seems the neat equation of “racism + hard work = less discrimination” doesn’t always add up.
“Work twice as hard to get half as much” was the mantra many of us were raised on, but it is considered by most Black moms today to be played-out advice from our parents’ generation. Despite that, racism and its effects haven’t expired, and in many ways, they’ve been given new life in this era.
Op-Ed: I pushed my kids to succeed academically to escape racism. But it doesn't work that way
The problem with those who call themselves in opposition is the fact that they believe things that do not apply to the way blacks are raised. Perhaps if you are white and don't put in the effort, you will not not suceed. Perhaps if you are white and don't focus on education you will fail. But when we as blacks try talking to you about this you need to stop pretending that white racism is not a hurdle. Whites do not face this:
“I can say for sure that happens because I did it. Before retirement, I was an Engineer. For the last 20 years of my career, I was a Manager and Director and I hired hundreds of people. I reviewed well over a thousand resumes for all kinds of positions. Everything from Secretaries to Engineering Managers. Both Salary and Hourly. I always culled out the resumes with Black Ethnic names. Never shortlisted anybody with a Black Ethnic name. Never hired them.” Since the Fortune 50 company I worked for had a stupid “affirmative action” hiring policies I never mentioned it to anybody and I always got away with it. A couple of times I was instructed to improve my departmental “diversity” demographics but I always ignored it and never got into any trouble. My stereotype is that anybody with a stupid ghetto Black ethnic name is probably worthless. I could have been wrong a couple of times but I was also probably right 99% of the time. Glad I did it. I would do it again.”
So explain why blacks can do everything you guys claim we need to do and still face racism. This thread is not about your ignorant factless opinions about blacks, black crime, Asians or everything else you guys do to avoid discussing the impact of white racism. So any and all off topic posts will be reported from the start. So you have two choices, explain why blacks do everything you guys say we need to do but still face white racism, or don't post in this thread.
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