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Democracy Falls As Man Who Received The Most Votes Becomes President
Politics·Jan 20, 2025 · BabylonBee.com
U.S. — A day long feared by people across America and around the world finally became a reality today, with Democracy falling into rubble after a man who received the most votes took the oath of office to become president.
Weeping could be heard echoing throughout the streets of every American city this morning as citizens of the United States were confronted with the terrifying truth that democracy had been destroyed by having the man who everyone voted for take office.
"This is indeed a dark day," said historian and professor Clifford Martin. "The American experiment has survived for nearly 250 years, continuing the tradition started by the ancient Greeks who created the concept of democracy… but today we have seen its end. The man who won more votes than anyone else has been sworn in as president, and that's just not how democracy works."
Experts predicted that the country may never be the same, as having the man people wanted to be president actually win the election was an unexpected assault on American democracy. "We're not used to this," constitutional scholar Owen Gaffney said. "The United States can't survive when it's simply left to the people voting to choose their leaders. Democracy has now died. Thanks a lot, voters."
Reports quickly emerged that lawmakers were hard at work putting measures into place to revive democracy by keeping overwhelmingly popular candidates from winning elections ever again.
At publishing time, memorial services for democracy were being planned as Democrats urged all Americans to flee the country in search of refuge in more oppressive, totalitarian countries.
Politics·Jan 20, 2025 · BabylonBee.com
U.S. — A day long feared by people across America and around the world finally became a reality today, with Democracy falling into rubble after a man who received the most votes took the oath of office to become president.
Weeping could be heard echoing throughout the streets of every American city this morning as citizens of the United States were confronted with the terrifying truth that democracy had been destroyed by having the man who everyone voted for take office.
"This is indeed a dark day," said historian and professor Clifford Martin. "The American experiment has survived for nearly 250 years, continuing the tradition started by the ancient Greeks who created the concept of democracy… but today we have seen its end. The man who won more votes than anyone else has been sworn in as president, and that's just not how democracy works."
Experts predicted that the country may never be the same, as having the man people wanted to be president actually win the election was an unexpected assault on American democracy. "We're not used to this," constitutional scholar Owen Gaffney said. "The United States can't survive when it's simply left to the people voting to choose their leaders. Democracy has now died. Thanks a lot, voters."
Reports quickly emerged that lawmakers were hard at work putting measures into place to revive democracy by keeping overwhelmingly popular candidates from winning elections ever again.
At publishing time, memorial services for democracy were being planned as Democrats urged all Americans to flee the country in search of refuge in more oppressive, totalitarian countries.
