Cruz to the Future

[JoeNormal]

It Only Hurts When I Laugh

There is currently in print a Ted Cruz coloring book for children. This is the cover. It is called "Cruz To The Future," and that cover has birds and bushes and soon-to-be-extinct monarch butterflies...and Ted, with a blue suit and a porn-clown smile, shooting a Double Fonzie at a tree.

Oh, the tree. Dear God and Sonny Jesus, the fa-chrissakes tree.

The roots spell out "ROOTS," but look suspiciously like the Flying Spaghetti Monster (bless His noodly appendage). Then there's grass, a fact given away by the large "GRASS" etched in the grass - get it? "Grass"..."Roots"...so clever - before we move up the trunk (labeled "TEA PLANT") which eventually bifurcates into two separate branches.

This is all very deep. I hope you're keeping up.

The main branch, which is branded with the legend "U.S. CONSTITUTION," leads to several leaves with labels on them. "Opportunity" and "Diversity" are two leaves, "Freedom" and "Inclusion" are two others...but then we reach higher to find a leaf that reads "Lower Taxes," and one other, the highest of them all, that reads, "White House." Which is hilarious, if you think about it.

Wait, sorry, I said, "think."

The other branch is branded with the legend, "TEN COMMANDMENTS." There are but two leaves sprouting from this branch: "Free Enterprise," and above it, "Gun Rights." Take a second and come to grips with that little slice of psychotic Christian Dominionist nonsense.

Yeah, that happened.

Comic gold.

 

[Black_Label]

What an effen' joke, but it's appropriate for his voting base where coloring books is the highest form of reading they can do.

 

[TheOldSchool]

Further proof that Ted Cruz is batshit insane

 

[Katzndogz]

Cruz is learning from the best.

The barack obama coloring book.

[ame=http://www.amazon.com/Barack-Obama-Coloring-Dover-History/dp/0486473201]Barack Obama Coloring Book (Dover History Coloring Book): Gary Zaboly, Coloring Books: 9780486473208: Amazon.com: Books[/ame]

 

[TheOldSchool]

Exactly what every kid wants for Christmas

 

[DiamondDave]

When Obama does it as a gimmick, it's ok.. someone else.. not so much.. well, at least according to this troll who is late to the party on this... considering the number of OTHER THREADS STARTED ON THIS YESTERDAY

retards

 

[g5000]

"What do you want Mr. Cruz to do for you and your family?"

Don't ask a question if you really don't want to hear the answer.

Cruz will join Palin in the Clown Pantheon.

 

[JoeNormal]

When Obama does it as a gimmick, it's ok.. someone else.. not so much.. well, at least according to this troll who is late to the party on this... considering the number of OTHER THREADS STARTED ON THIS YESTERDAY

retards

It has to take some kind of special stupid not to see the difference between the moronic propaganda in the Cruz book and the relatively benign brand of patriotism promoted in predidential coloring books. Glad you're up to the task.

Coloring Books | American Presidents Coloring Book

[ame=http://www.amazon.com/Barack-Obama-Coloring-Dover-History/dp/0486473201]Barack Obama Coloring Book (Dover History Coloring Book): Gary Zaboly, Coloring Books: 9780486473208: Amazon.com: Books[/ame]

 

[DiamondDave]

When Obama does it as a gimmick, it's ok.. someone else.. not so much.. well, at least according to this troll who is late to the party on this... considering the number of OTHER THREADS STARTED ON THIS YESTERDAY

retards

It has to take some kind of special stupid not to see the difference between the moronic propaganda in the Cruz book and the relatively benign brand of patriotism promoted in predidential coloring books. Glad you're up to the task.

Coloring Books | American Presidents Coloring Book

[ame=http://www.amazon.com/Barack-Obama-Coloring-Dover-History/dp/0486473201]Barack Obama Coloring Book (Dover History Coloring Book): Gary Zaboly, Coloring Books: 9780486473208: Amazon.com: Books[/ame]

They are all gimmicks... period... it is not some youth Mein Kampf when it is Cruz, or Obamalama, or the EPA, or whomever else is putting out these books.. it is fluff and puff that the kids color and throw away

 

[Toro]

I've heard the argument that the Tea Party is a small government movement, not a social conservative movement. If so, why are the Ten Commandments evoked in the coloring book?

Or is the book a sarcastic joke?

 

[iamwhatiseem]

I still haven't heard if Cruz is even behind it?
If so...wow...if not...then who cares?

 

[AquaAthena]

I still haven't heard if Cruz is even behind it?
If so...wow...if not...then who cares?

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

"Cruz embraces the bad ass persona" From the Editors: Yes, the producers of the video did take some liberties with the photo-shopping. But well worth it. And somehow we think Ted wouldn't mind a bit.

Libertarian Republican

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDRXS4ACR7k]Cruz Against The Machine - YouTube[/ame]

 

[The2ndAmendment]

It's amazing that Progressives are so obsessed with Rand Paul, Ted Cruz and Ayn Rand; when none of those three people aforementioned have had any impact upon United States history and culture.

 

[velvtacheeze]

It Only Hurts When I Laugh

There is currently in print a Ted Cruz coloring book for children. This is the cover. It is called "Cruz To The Future," and that cover has birds and bushes and soon-to-be-extinct monarch butterflies...and Ted, with a blue suit and a porn-clown smile, shooting a Double Fonzie at a tree.

Oh, the tree. Dear God and Sonny Jesus, the fa-chrissakes tree.

The roots spell out "ROOTS," but look suspiciously like the Flying Spaghetti Monster (bless His noodly appendage). Then there's grass, a fact given away by the large "GRASS" etched in the grass - get it? "Grass"..."Roots"...so clever - before we move up the trunk (labeled "TEA PLANT") which eventually bifurcates into two separate branches.

This is all very deep. I hope you're keeping up.

The main branch, which is branded with the legend "U.S. CONSTITUTION," leads to several leaves with labels on them. "Opportunity" and "Diversity" are two leaves, "Freedom" and "Inclusion" are two others...but then we reach higher to find a leaf that reads "Lower Taxes," and one other, the highest of them all, that reads, "White House." Which is hilarious, if you think about it.

Wait, sorry, I said, "think."

The other branch is branded with the legend, "TEN COMMANDMENTS." There are but two leaves sprouting from this branch: "Free Enterprise," and above it, "Gun Rights." Take a second and come to grips with that little slice of psychotic Christian Dominionist nonsense.

Yeah, that happened.

Comic gold.

This Ted Cruz book is actually more eligible for the US Presidency than the man himself, having been made in America.

Senator Cruz (R-Alberta) is excluded from the Presidency, per the US Constitution, and per the past six years of insane right wing gobbledegook about Obama's birth, even though he was born in the United States.

 

[tinydancer]

It Only Hurts When I Laugh

There is currently in print a Ted Cruz coloring book for children. This is the cover. It is called "Cruz To The Future," and that cover has birds and bushes and soon-to-be-extinct monarch butterflies...and Ted, with a blue suit and a porn-clown smile, shooting a Double Fonzie at a tree.

Oh, the tree. Dear God and Sonny Jesus, the fa-chrissakes tree.

The roots spell out "ROOTS," but look suspiciously like the Flying Spaghetti Monster (bless His noodly appendage). Then there's grass, a fact given away by the large "GRASS" etched in the grass - get it? "Grass"..."Roots"...so clever - before we move up the trunk (labeled "TEA PLANT") which eventually bifurcates into two separate branches.

This is all very deep. I hope you're keeping up.

The main branch, which is branded with the legend "U.S. CONSTITUTION," leads to several leaves with labels on them. "Opportunity" and "Diversity" are two leaves, "Freedom" and "Inclusion" are two others...but then we reach higher to find a leaf that reads "Lower Taxes," and one other, the highest of them all, that reads, "White House." Which is hilarious, if you think about it.

Wait, sorry, I said, "think."

The other branch is branded with the legend, "TEN COMMANDMENTS." There are but two leaves sprouting from this branch: "Free Enterprise," and above it, "Gun Rights." Take a second and come to grips with that little slice of psychotic Christian Dominionist nonsense.

Yeah, that happened.

Comic gold.

This Ted Cruz book is actually more eligible for the US Presidency than the man himself, having been made in America.

Senator Cruz (R-Alberta) is excluded from the Presidency, per the US Constitution, and per the past six years of insane right wing gobbledegook about Obama's birth, even though he was born in the United States.

Ah you don't have to be frightened of Senator Cruz becoming President.

What you're going to need diapers and extra strength Immodium AD for will be the day he becomes Attorney General for the next Republican President.