- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
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This is a capitalism-crusade vignette inspired by Capitalism: A Love Story and Mystery Men.
Cheers,
====
A team of capitalism-crusaders assembled and called themselves the Crookmen. The Crookmen collected consumerism-iconic toys such as Transformers (Hasbro) robots and Pez candy-dispensers and water-pistols from Toys 'R Us. The Crookmen also performed daring heists of jewelry stores in California, stealing from the rich and giving to the poor. The Crookmen loved the 'iconography' or 'aesthetics' of consumerism.
Two members of the Crookmen were actually doctors. One was Dr. Ross who worked at a hospital in San Francisco; the other was Dr. Carter who worked at a hospital in Los Angeles. Ross was a neurologist, and Carter was a cardiologist. Interestingly enough, it was Ross who masterminded the jewelry-heists in places like Beverly Hills, since he was an 'amateur sleuth.' The Crookmen were devoted to making capitalism seem more...human. They were an odd bunch, and Ross spent time blogging on the Internet about TrumpUSA, using the idealism-avatar, 'the Dark Knight.'
One of the Crookmen was a comic book artist named Stanley Cain who loved making renditions of beloved superheroes/villains such as She-Hulk and Hobgoblin that captured the pedestrian aesthetic of muscular vigilantism daydreams. Cain made a rendition of She-Hulk, for example, which Ross left on the footsteps of one of the jewelry-heists, suggesting that the 'daring deeds' of the Crookmen would appeal to women seeking the 'idealism' behind the American spirit. Was Ross correct (at least about Cain's artwork)?
Cain then made a stick-figure doodle of an 'Evil Elf' which Ross left on the footsteps of a Christmas jewelry heist on Rodeo Drive. The Evil Elf doodle was meant to poke fun at the consumerism-iconography holiday-season dramedy Elf starring Will Ferrell. The newspapers referred to the eccentric Crookmen as the modern-day Newton Gang. Were they right?
Ross decided to make an Internet blog about the spritely-appeal of fairy-tales and fairy-art (e.g., Peter Pan) in new age fables about ethics and teamwork. You see, Dr. Ross had the vision to make the Crookmen not only a 'clever band' of bandits but also a memorable troop of 'idealistic Robin Hood oriented poets.' Ross's fairy-ads however drew the ire of the FBI, and President Trump tweeted, "We want legal forms of philanthropy in American society, not romanticized deeds of 'poetic burglary'."
A new Gotham City lawyer named Harvey Dent was running for a high position. He posted ads about his campaign all over the Internet, and he promised to make substantial bridges/treaties with the 'clever Crookmen' and not allow their 'idealism' to go unnoticed. Dent believed the best way to 'wrangle in' the myriad 'anti-capitalism' poets/protesters was to reach out to them and inspire them to 'share' their idealism, if at least for the sake of criminal psychology. Dent was a truly idealistic new age politician.
When a psychopath splashed corrosive acid on Dent's face during one of his rallies, Dent decided to post colored posters of his disfigured face around Gotham, New York, and L.A., promising the people that unchecked cynical crime would be faced by committed modern leaders such as himself, even at the cost of their reputation. His critics continued to refer to him now as 'Two-Face' since his disfigurement might take away some of his 'social optimism.' However, the Crookmen really liked Dent and his new 'Quasimodo-campaign.'
Dent decided to reach out to the Crookment, and Cain decided to meet with him secretly. Dent asked Cain to make pencil-drawings of mail-order-brides from India, so Dent could make immigration-idealistic blogs about Internet mail-order-bride services. Cain thought it was a terrific plan and gave him a series of nifty/intricate bride-drawings, and Dent used them for his blogs. However, Ross warned Cain not to trust Dent too much, since he might just betray the Crookmen for the sake of 'crime-fighting celebrity.'
Ross met a beautiful woman during one of his bank-surveys (prior to a planned heist) and fell in love with her. Her name was Shelbye, and she loved Chagall, so Ross stole a Chagall painting and re-wrapped it and left it in front of her apartment door with the note, "We'll retire together someday to Santorini." Shelbye loved the Chagall painting and waited patiently for Ross to 'finish his mission.'
Meanwhile, Cain continued to supply his comics-art for the Crookmen's various 'campaigns.' Dent told President Trump that the Crookmen certainly were the new age rendition of the Newton Gang and proposed that a Hollywood (USA) movie should be made about them. Film-maker Wes Andersen took up the challenge, and the new movie, starring George Clooney, Hayden Christensen, and Mila Kunis, was titled Captains of Cartoons.
Ross and his Crookmen had managed to do so much in the name of 'consumerism-crusade' that they were romanticized in the press, and Andersen's film was very popular/successful. Clooney portrayed Ross and said in an interview, "Let's hope the 'Crookmen' don't glorify crime and continue to be cast as 'a harmless Robin Hood and his Merry Men!' Ross was angry about this comment, insisting that the Crookmen were serious about their mission. However, Ross also wanted to simply retire now.
Ross and the Crookmen planned one more heist, of a jewelry store in Chicago. However, the stick-figure doodle-art of the Marvel Comics super-villain Gray Goblin (Gabriel Stacy) Cain left at the crime-scene was finger-printed by the FBI which led to the arrest of Ross. When Ross was shown the doodle of Gray Goblin by FBI agent Steve Nash, Ross said, "Art is art; I have no regrets!"
The Crookmen disappeared, now that Ross was in prison. Ross eventually got out of jail and reconnected with Shelbye and took off to Santorini with her. However, the Crookmen would be remembered for bringing an air of 'classy pranks' to American consumerism-consciousness and reminding the people that capitalism could indeed be 'folkloric and fun.' Besides, Andersen's film was a fan-favorite now, and comic books started selling even more, thanks to the 'contributions' of Cain (the artsy-member of the 'delightful' Crookmen).
President Trump advised his counselors to make contact with the Conservative Christian Coalition and encourage the selling of more conservative comic book avatars to complement all this 'Crookmen romance/hype.' Mr. Christian, a comic book crusader, was selected as this 'antidote-mascot.' Trump tweeted, "Let's remember Mr. Christian every time we think about those dastardly Crookmen." After all, Trump didn't want kids to think that even Robin Hood was somehow...'normal'.
====
Cheers,
====
A team of capitalism-crusaders assembled and called themselves the Crookmen. The Crookmen collected consumerism-iconic toys such as Transformers (Hasbro) robots and Pez candy-dispensers and water-pistols from Toys 'R Us. The Crookmen also performed daring heists of jewelry stores in California, stealing from the rich and giving to the poor. The Crookmen loved the 'iconography' or 'aesthetics' of consumerism.
Two members of the Crookmen were actually doctors. One was Dr. Ross who worked at a hospital in San Francisco; the other was Dr. Carter who worked at a hospital in Los Angeles. Ross was a neurologist, and Carter was a cardiologist. Interestingly enough, it was Ross who masterminded the jewelry-heists in places like Beverly Hills, since he was an 'amateur sleuth.' The Crookmen were devoted to making capitalism seem more...human. They were an odd bunch, and Ross spent time blogging on the Internet about TrumpUSA, using the idealism-avatar, 'the Dark Knight.'
One of the Crookmen was a comic book artist named Stanley Cain who loved making renditions of beloved superheroes/villains such as She-Hulk and Hobgoblin that captured the pedestrian aesthetic of muscular vigilantism daydreams. Cain made a rendition of She-Hulk, for example, which Ross left on the footsteps of one of the jewelry-heists, suggesting that the 'daring deeds' of the Crookmen would appeal to women seeking the 'idealism' behind the American spirit. Was Ross correct (at least about Cain's artwork)?
Cain then made a stick-figure doodle of an 'Evil Elf' which Ross left on the footsteps of a Christmas jewelry heist on Rodeo Drive. The Evil Elf doodle was meant to poke fun at the consumerism-iconography holiday-season dramedy Elf starring Will Ferrell. The newspapers referred to the eccentric Crookmen as the modern-day Newton Gang. Were they right?
Ross decided to make an Internet blog about the spritely-appeal of fairy-tales and fairy-art (e.g., Peter Pan) in new age fables about ethics and teamwork. You see, Dr. Ross had the vision to make the Crookmen not only a 'clever band' of bandits but also a memorable troop of 'idealistic Robin Hood oriented poets.' Ross's fairy-ads however drew the ire of the FBI, and President Trump tweeted, "We want legal forms of philanthropy in American society, not romanticized deeds of 'poetic burglary'."
A new Gotham City lawyer named Harvey Dent was running for a high position. He posted ads about his campaign all over the Internet, and he promised to make substantial bridges/treaties with the 'clever Crookmen' and not allow their 'idealism' to go unnoticed. Dent believed the best way to 'wrangle in' the myriad 'anti-capitalism' poets/protesters was to reach out to them and inspire them to 'share' their idealism, if at least for the sake of criminal psychology. Dent was a truly idealistic new age politician.
When a psychopath splashed corrosive acid on Dent's face during one of his rallies, Dent decided to post colored posters of his disfigured face around Gotham, New York, and L.A., promising the people that unchecked cynical crime would be faced by committed modern leaders such as himself, even at the cost of their reputation. His critics continued to refer to him now as 'Two-Face' since his disfigurement might take away some of his 'social optimism.' However, the Crookmen really liked Dent and his new 'Quasimodo-campaign.'
Dent decided to reach out to the Crookment, and Cain decided to meet with him secretly. Dent asked Cain to make pencil-drawings of mail-order-brides from India, so Dent could make immigration-idealistic blogs about Internet mail-order-bride services. Cain thought it was a terrific plan and gave him a series of nifty/intricate bride-drawings, and Dent used them for his blogs. However, Ross warned Cain not to trust Dent too much, since he might just betray the Crookmen for the sake of 'crime-fighting celebrity.'
Ross met a beautiful woman during one of his bank-surveys (prior to a planned heist) and fell in love with her. Her name was Shelbye, and she loved Chagall, so Ross stole a Chagall painting and re-wrapped it and left it in front of her apartment door with the note, "We'll retire together someday to Santorini." Shelbye loved the Chagall painting and waited patiently for Ross to 'finish his mission.'
Meanwhile, Cain continued to supply his comics-art for the Crookmen's various 'campaigns.' Dent told President Trump that the Crookmen certainly were the new age rendition of the Newton Gang and proposed that a Hollywood (USA) movie should be made about them. Film-maker Wes Andersen took up the challenge, and the new movie, starring George Clooney, Hayden Christensen, and Mila Kunis, was titled Captains of Cartoons.
Ross and his Crookmen had managed to do so much in the name of 'consumerism-crusade' that they were romanticized in the press, and Andersen's film was very popular/successful. Clooney portrayed Ross and said in an interview, "Let's hope the 'Crookmen' don't glorify crime and continue to be cast as 'a harmless Robin Hood and his Merry Men!' Ross was angry about this comment, insisting that the Crookmen were serious about their mission. However, Ross also wanted to simply retire now.
Ross and the Crookmen planned one more heist, of a jewelry store in Chicago. However, the stick-figure doodle-art of the Marvel Comics super-villain Gray Goblin (Gabriel Stacy) Cain left at the crime-scene was finger-printed by the FBI which led to the arrest of Ross. When Ross was shown the doodle of Gray Goblin by FBI agent Steve Nash, Ross said, "Art is art; I have no regrets!"
The Crookmen disappeared, now that Ross was in prison. Ross eventually got out of jail and reconnected with Shelbye and took off to Santorini with her. However, the Crookmen would be remembered for bringing an air of 'classy pranks' to American consumerism-consciousness and reminding the people that capitalism could indeed be 'folkloric and fun.' Besides, Andersen's film was a fan-favorite now, and comic books started selling even more, thanks to the 'contributions' of Cain (the artsy-member of the 'delightful' Crookmen).
President Trump advised his counselors to make contact with the Conservative Christian Coalition and encourage the selling of more conservative comic book avatars to complement all this 'Crookmen romance/hype.' Mr. Christian, a comic book crusader, was selected as this 'antidote-mascot.' Trump tweeted, "Let's remember Mr. Christian every time we think about those dastardly Crookmen." After all, Trump didn't want kids to think that even Robin Hood was somehow...'normal'.
====
