Congressman Horrified To Learn Soldiers Issued Green Fleece Caps

[longknife]

by ArmyJ

Army Green Fleece Watch Caps

WASHINGTON, D.C. – A congressman reported today that he was horrified to learn that the Army has been issuing its soldiers green fleece watch caps since 2006. The shocking revelations came during a drive through downtown Washington, where Sen. Carl Levin (D-MI) observed a unit of Army reserve soldiers out for a run.

“The first thing I thought was ‘those are the stupidest things I’ve ever seen!’ Then I realized they were American soldiers and I almost threw up in my mouth,” said Levin, after adjusting his flag lapel pin. “Then I of course thanked them for their service.”

The oversized headgear replaced a more popular, civilian-modeled black version that was widely loved among soldiers, after Army leadership observed the soldiers wearing the caps off-duty in all types of outdoor situations.

“I mean, I remember when they had those black caps, and they looked great with everything. After the incident this morning, I did a little research. These things don’t match a single uniform we have in the inventory!” said Levin. “What kind of dipshit would authorize something like this?”

Duffel Blog reporters tracked down Sergeant Major of the Army Raymond Chandler, to confront him on the issue.

“It’s all about value and appearance. When we gave soldiers the black cap, they would use them to ski, hunt, and pretty much anything else outdoors without looking like a jackass. On the Army’s dime! Well not on our watch,” stated Chandler with a smirk.

“That’s why we changed it to this over sized piece of garbage. No one would be caught dead in this thing! Plus the chemical runoff we use to dye these is actually cheaper than the warm, tight fitting micro fiber in the old caps. The switch cost the Army over ten million dollars, but the savings per unit will make sure we get our money back in less than 24 years! You can’t beat a deal like that.”

When asked why the color didn’t match anything currently worn by Army soldiers, Chandler was quick to flip open his ever present notebook and read from a section of highlighted notes on uniforms.

“Since the color doesn’t go with anything in the inventory, it will always break up the outline and color patterns of the soldier!” recited Chandler, who then removed a handwritten page from the company who manufactured the caps. “Furthermore… this is the best watch cap in the history of watch caps. Guaranteed!”

After being asked about the recent cases of frostbite attributed to soldiers in the field during sub-zero weather when they weren’t authorized to wear the misshapen, gnome-like caps, his answer was simple.

“I remember back at the Sergeants Major Academy. One of the first courses was how to identify and outlaw efficient gear. This was just a natural progression at the Big Army level. We do our best to keep these things away from any environment where they might actually be needed.”

Chandler refused to comment on the apparent hypocrisy of issuing intentionally deficient gear that can’t be used when needed.

Read more: Congressman Horrified To Learn Soldiers Issued Green Fleece Caps | The Duffel Blog
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[waltky]

They burn robustly when exposed to flame...

Navy uniforms are flammable, and the military knows it
January 9, 2013 — The Navy's standard-issue blue camouflage uniforms are highly flammable and will melt onto the skin when burning, a recent Navy test revealed.

A second revelation: This comes as no surprise to the Navy. "We knew when we designed this uniform that it wasn't flame-resistant," said Rear Adm. John Kirby, the Navy's top spokesman. "When we were making the uniform, sailors wanted a uniform that was comfortable, that didn't require maintenance and would stand up under a lot of washing, and one of the ways to get that is a nylon-cotton blend," Kirby said. "We realize that nylon does not react well to flame, but again, there was no requirement for a fire-resistant uniform in a working environment."

The Navy released findings in December of an impromptu test that showed that - unlike the Army and Marine Corps working uniforms - its working uniform is not designated flame-resistant and "when subjected to a flame, it will burn robustly until completely consumed." The Type I NWU, as it's known, is half cotton and half nylon. The nylon component "is a thermoplastic fiber that melts and drips as it burns," the report said. "If this sticky molten material came in contact with skin, it would contribute to increased burn injury."

Navy admirals said the uniform was never meant to be flame-retardant and there is fire gear throughout any ship in case sailors are exposed to flames. Only sailors with specific jobs such as airman, engineer or firefighter and those in combat are required to have fire-resistant clothing. Kirby noted that the Army and Marine uniforms are geared toward combat and the dangers of roadside bombs. That said, Vice Adm. Scott Van Buskirk, Chief of Naval Personnel and president of the Navy's Uniform Board, announced in a message to commanders on Dec. 12 that Fleet Forces commander Adm. Bill Gortney, working closely with Pacific Fleet commander Adm. Cecil Haney, has established working groups to review the fleet's uniform needs and to consider whether these uniforms do the job.

Buskirk said he also has expanded the Navy's uniform board, adding the Naval Sea Systems Command, Naval Air Systems Command and the Naval Safety Center as technical advisers to the board. The test on the working uniform last month was conducted during research on materials and equipment at the Navy's safety center in Massachusetts. Kirby said one of the testers took it upon himself to check the flammability of the NWU. A video of the test, which the Navy posted online, shows the uniform quickly burning when exposed to flame. "Nobody asked for these tests," Kirby said. "Now that we have the results of this particular test - obviously, we are not surprised the fabric did not react well to flame - but now that we have specifics... we are going to take another look." Admirals, including Buskirk, Kirby and Gortney, all said they were still comfortable that the uniforms are appropriate to wear in the right environment.

MORE

 

[rightwinger]

Duffel Blog once again on top of a big story

Good thing that they keep us informed

 

[AmyNation]

Good find there OP!

 

[Mushroom]

by ArmyJ

Army Green Fleece Watch Caps

WASHINGTON, D.C. – A congressman reported today that he was horrified to learn that the Army has been issuing its soldiers green fleece watch caps since 2006. The shocking revelations came during a drive through downtown Washington, where Sen. Carl Levin (D-MI) observed a unit of Army reserve soldiers out for a run.

“The first thing I thought was ‘those are the stupidest things I’ve ever seen!’ Then I realized they were American soldiers and I almost threw up in my mouth,” said Levin, after adjusting his flag lapel pin. “Then I of course thanked them for their service.”

You have to understand, that is a joke parody website. The article is bogus, and not meant to be taken seriously at all. I mean, look at some of their other "articles":

Army Delays Robotic First Sergeant PRC-E8 Program
Army Delays Robotic First Sergeant PRC-E8 Program | The Duffel Blog

Marine Corps Releases New ‘Red Dawn’ Recruiting Commercial To Theaters
Read more: Marine Corps Releases New

Disney Buys Rights To Afghanistan From Department Of Defense
Read more: Disney Buys Rights To Afghanistan From Department Of Defense | The Duffel Blog

So this is obviously a joke, not meant to be taken seriously.