Child Support is unfair

[Aristotle]

I am in no way defending the irresponisbility of men who lack the fortitude to take care of their own responsibility as an adult, but I firmly believe any system that awards someone with money ought to be tracked. I'm not sure about you guys but I meet far too many men with no representation regarding child support and the issues they face regarding money. How is it that the state can track EBT payments but not child support? I personally believe the system is unfair towards responsible men and are soft on irresponsible women....What say ye?

 

[AmyNation]

What do you mean track?

 

[Aristotle]

I believe if child support is in the best interest of the child and if the state wants the father (or mother) to pay, it should be in the form of a card like an EBT to check how the money is being spent. It makes no sense for fathers to cut a woman a check, only to have her do as she wish. I hear to many stories of men payingan arm and a leg yet, the woman is buying Channel gift bags while her child has a dirty shirt and a snotty nose.

 

[AmyNation]

I can understand the feeling, however whether she/he takes that specific check and spends it on nails or beer, is not the other parents business.

Think of the money for child support as a reimbursement check, for monies the primary parent has already spent that month for the child.

 

[bigrebnc1775]

The only unfair thing about child support the one who is paying it can't use it as a tax deduction I pay a thousand a month for one child and can't use it as a deduction

 

[AmyNation]

" In the United States, 10 states (Colorado, Delaware, Florida, Indiana, Louisiana, Missouri, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Oregon, and Washington) allow courts to demand an accounting on expenses and spending from custodial parents. Additionally, Alabama courts have authorized such accounting under certain specific circumstances."

Child support - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

My personal opinion is that if the parent paying child support feels their support is being abused then they should be able to petition for an accounting. However keeping track of every cases payments and where each cent goes seems like a bit much.

 

[KissMy]

I can understand the feeling, however whether she/he takes that specific check and spends it on nails or beer, is not the other parents business.

Think of the money for child support as a reimbursement check, for monies the primary parent has already spent that month for the child.

What if she did not spend any on the child & blew all the money on crack?

 

[AmyNation]

I can understand the feeling, however whether she/he takes that specific check and spends it on nails or beer, is not the other parents business.

Think of the money for child support as a reimbursement check, for monies the primary parent has already spent that month for the child.

What if she did not spend any on the child & blew all the money on crack?

Then you call CPS.

 

[AmyNation]

Here the thing, child support is largely based on the income of the non-custodial parent, not the exact costs to care for the child. So, depending on your income you could be sending not near enough to cover expenses, or you could be sending a lot more.

 

[KissMy]

Here the thing, child support is largely based on the income of the non-custodial parent, not the exact costs to care for the child. So, depending on your income you could be sending not near enough to cover expenses, or you could be sending a lot more.

If you are sending a lot more than is used at that time to care for the child shouldn't that money be locked away into an account for the child's future needs or college instead of buying mom's new boyfriend a motorcycle?

 

[Aristotle]

I can understand the feeling, however whether she/he takes that specific check and spends it on nails or beer, is not the other parents business.

Think of the money for child support as a reimbursement check, for monies the primary parent has already spent that month for the child.

reimbursement?

I think when a man participates sexually with a woman there is no such thing as reimbursement. The man has much of a responsibility to the child as the woman. This is 50/50. I'm surprised you had the audacity to write what you wrote.

I'm not one of those men that thinks delivering a child makes you a demi-god. Sorry, I don't subscribe to that. People make choices. Nobody told women to have a baby. These are choices these women make.

I also don't subscribe to the notion that women who get child support have a right to spend it on what they need. Spending money on nails does not support the child, it supports personal luxury. Spending child support on beer does not support the child, it supports a potential habit.

 

[Noomi]

Fathers shouldn't have to pay child support if they made it clear they never wanted a child, but the woman got pregnant anyway. A woman should have no right to force a man to become a father, because he has no legal right to force her to become a mother. Its reverse discrimination.

 

[Aristotle]

The only unfair thing about child support the one who is paying it can't use it as a tax deduction I pay a thousand a month for one child and can't use it as a deduction

This is what upsets me. The courts scale the monthly payment with whatever you make annually I assume.

Sean "Puffy" Combs pay what, $10,000 a month? What child costs $10,000 a month? I never realized providing basic sustenance for a child would cost $10,000.

 

[Steelplate]

the answer is simple.....keep it in your pants. After all, women are supposed to hold an aspirin between their knees for birth control.

Same thing with us men. Oh...masturbation cleans the pipes just as well and has a 0% pregnancy rate.

 

[Steelplate]

The only unfair thing about child support the one who is paying it can't use it as a tax deduction I pay a thousand a month for one child and can't use it as a deduction

This is what upsets me. The courts scale the monthly payment with whatever you make annually I assume.

Sean "Puffy" Combs pay what, $10,000 a month? What child costs $10,000 a month? I never realized providing basic sustenance for a child would cost $10,000.

So tell me....why should Combs' kid NOT live a lifestyle in a similar manner as his dad? I do agree about the tax deduction thing though. The custodial parent gets the tax deduction for the child, the person who provides support ought to be able to deduct his/her contributions.

I see a lot of whining here. I also see a lot of questionable accusations.....nails, beer, motorcycles for the boyfriend, crack? How much of that shit do you really think is going on? more importantly, how much can you prove?

I have two step children....they are both over 18, so any support my wife got is long gone. I can tell you what we did with it...we spent it on them either directly or indirectly. Directly in the form of clothes, toys, VHS tapes and DVDS, etc.....Indirectly in the form of paying the occasional electric, or some other bill when times were tight. When both kids were under 18, we saw about $300/ month. When my wife and I got some baggage from our previous marriages(we both were married once before) paid off and were a little better off....we put the entire amount into their TAP(tuition account program) fund....along with a similar contribution out of our pockets.

This allowed our oldest to get a Penn State education and is putting our youngest through college now.....without taking a Parent Plus loan(so far).

I saw a recent statistic where the average cost of raising a kid from birth to 18, if the child were born today, is $200K. That's a lot of money, considering most two income families are bringing in under $50k/year and still have to pay every other bill imaginable. Cut that two income family income in half, and it becomes damn near impossible.

 

[Care4all]

Fathers shouldn't have to pay child support if they made it clear they never wanted a child, but the woman got pregnant anyway. A woman should have no right to force a man to become a father, because he has no legal right to force her to become a mother. Its reverse discrimination.

If the man never wanted a child then the man should have been using rubbers or should have had a vasectomy. He should be responsible for himself and his own wishes....SHE SHOULD NOT have to be responsible for forefilling his desires of not having a child.

 

[Care4all]

the cost of taking care of YOUR CHILD 24/7 is more than a dollar figure....the man can easily run off with any woman and marry again...the man can have a full time career and add to his retirement for old age, the mother is limited to such full time good paying careers, as the single parent caring for your child, again 24/7....she has much less opportunity to remarry and to add to her own retirement and to succeed in life with a good career, mainly because she is the 24/7 parent for your child, while you are free as a bird....

there is more to this than buying your kid a hot dog for dinner....who cooks it for them, who cleans the dishes afterwards, who puts your child to bed at night, who washes them in the tub every night, who takes them to the doctor when sick and who has to miss work in order to do it, who dresses your kid and who has to take them to school or make certain they make it safe to school?

 

[007]

Fathers shouldn't have to pay child support if they made it clear they never wanted a child, but the woman got pregnant anyway. A woman should have no right to force a man to become a father, because he has no legal right to force her to become a mother. Its reverse discrimination.

If the man never wanted a child then the man should have been using rubbers or should have had a vasectomy. He should be responsible for himself and his own wishes....SHE SHOULD NOT have to be responsible for forefilling his desires of not having a child.

No matter what form of BC two people may elect to use, they BOTH MUST take responsibility for the fact that the woman MIGHT get pregnant. If either is unwilling to take that responsibility, then they have NO business having sex. This assumption that people just simply can NOT STOP THEMSELVES FROM HAVING SEX is a very pathetic excuse for unwanted pregnancies.

 

[editec]

I am in no way defending the irresponisbility of men who lack the fortitude to take care of their own responsibility as an adult, but I firmly believe any system that awards someone with money ought to be tracked. I'm not sure about you guys but I meet far too many men with no representation regarding child support and the issues they face regarding money. How is it that the state can track EBT payments but not child support? I personally believe the system is unfair towards responsible men and are soft on irresponsible women....What say ye?

I can cite an egregious example of that blatent gender bias regarding child support payments that happened to a friend of mine here in Maine.


So yes, I do think there is often gender bias against men when it comes to child support.

 

[Care4all]

Fathers shouldn't have to pay child support if they made it clear they never wanted a child, but the woman got pregnant anyway. A woman should have no right to force a man to become a father, because he has no legal right to force her to become a mother. Its reverse discrimination.

If the man never wanted a child then the man should have been using rubbers or should have had a vasectomy. He should be responsible for himself and his own wishes....SHE SHOULD NOT have to be responsible for fore-filling his desires of not having a child.

No matter what form of BC two people may elect to use, they BOTH MUST take responsibility for the fact that the woman MIGHT get pregnant. If either is unwilling to take that responsibility, then they have NO business having sex. This assumption that people just simply can NOT STOP THEMSELVES FROM HAVING SEX is a very pathetic excuse for unwanted pregnancies.

I agree...that's how it used to be, when i was growing up.......abstain or both took responsibility if pregnancy took place....the woman had the child, the man married the woman....for the most part.