Charlie Ha Mosiach

grbb

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Oct 15, 2016
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I think someone have posted the part 1 somewhere here. You can see it here

Charlie, a Tolerant Religious Leader – Get Rich Bang Babes

This is part 2

Charlie Ha Mosiach – Get Rich Bang Babes


Charlie is a very well respected religious leader. You can read more in Charlie a Tolerant Religious Leader.

He once tried a tolerant stand. Charlie soon learn how to get more respect and honor from his followers. Charlie life stories and fame go to the whole corners of the earth. He becomes the model of all religious leader all over the world. All other religious leaders are pretty similar to Charlie.

The story of Charlie is being told and retold. Finally, it reaches the land of Judea somewhere far far away.

The jews have been in the land from a long time ago. They have long forgotten the God that brought them out of Egypt, with outstretched arms (Exodus 6:6 "Therefore, say to the Israelites: 'I am the LORD, and I will bring you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians. I will free you from being slaves to them, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgment.), whose feet stand on crystalline aluminum oxide throne (Exodus 24:10 and saw the God of Israel. Under his feet was something like a pavement made of lapis lazuli, as bright blue as the sky.), has brass upper body and surrounded by rainbow aura (Ezekiel 1:28 Like the appearance of a rainbow in the clouds on a rainy day, so was the radiance around him. This was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the LORD. When I saw it, I fell facedown, and I heard the voice of one speaking.) that appeared to Abraham as one of three men with his buddies (Genesis 18 Parallel Chapters), sometimes appear in a form of anthropomorphic talking cloud (Exodus 33:9 Hebrew Text Analysis), that can be countered by iron chariot (The Brick Testament), likes to socialize and make speech among other gods Psalm 82:1 Hebrew Text Analysis, likes the smells of burned cows or ram (CHRISTIANS ,WHY GOD IN THE OLD TESTAMENT LIKED BURNT OFFERINGS?), and beer/wine Exodus 29:40 With the first lamb offer a tenth of an ephah of the finest flour mixed with a quarter of a hin of oil from pressed olives, and a quarter of a hin of wine as a drink offering..

The God the jews worship now doesn’t even have arms and legs (In Judaism, does God have a body?). Many jews are secular and atheists.

Hence, jewish religious leaders know that they need a strong well respected religious leader. They need someone that can help them combat atheism and skepticism. They need Charlie.

“We like what you did to the robbers,” said Adam, a welcoming Rabbi, to Charlie.

The Sanhedrin then simply declares Charlie to be the promised mosiach. Jews soon reach messianic age.

The process is not without controversy.

Anyone arrogant enough to reject the verdict of the judge or of the priest who represents Yahweh your god must die. In this way you will purge the evil from Israel. (Deuteronomy 17:12 Anyone who shows contempt for the judge or for the priest who stands ministering there to the LORD your God is to be put to death. You must purge the evil from Israel.

“I think Mosiach selection should be done in a more democratic process,” said Andrew. Andrew is then stoned to death for contempt of court.

“I always think that Mosiach would promote world peace to the whole world, someone like a hippie, (Jesus - Wikipedia)” says Bob, in front of mass graves of those who cut their side hair (Leviticus 19:27 "'Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard.). Bob soon faces similar fate.

Before Charlie, there have been many messianic claimants that the jews now consider false messiah.

Donny, for example, used to be called ha mosiach. He was, however, executed when he tried to change Israel’s national currency from bitcoins to litecoins.

A few members of the Sanhedrin disagree with him.

“According to our most reliable Torah’s textual variants, all offerings to Hashem must be paid to a location Hashem will decide latter Deuteronomy 12:14 Offer them only at the place the LORD will choose in one of your tribes, and there observe everything I command you.,” Kevin, the then kohen gadol, said. “Latter, it was revealed that the correct address is 15YBf2oTDAN7q3W63T5BvAQu5ern9Xtc67 .”

Not everyone agrees. The Samaritan, for example, have a different textual variant. Through a different reasoning, they believe that the correct address is 1PxPsJfSDFaEvNnQ9tTT1NjMTv2TcHgXoM (Samaritan Pentateuch - Wikipedia).

The offering is important. The money is used to buy flat holographic VR TV, better speakers with surround sound, Playstation 25, mansions, stocks, topless maid, and cooking the kohens’ favorite delicious BBQ. Those then become pleasing scenery for the jewish god (Numbers 29:36 Present as an aroma pleasing to the LORD a food offering consisting of a burnt offering of one bull, one ram and seven male lambs a year old, all without defect.).

A woman, Mary, then asked Donny, where should people send their offering? 15YBf2oTDAN7q3W63T5BvAQu5ern9Xtc67 or 1PxPsJfSDFaEvNnQ9tTT1NjMTv2TcHgXoM (John 4:20 Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem.")? Donny said that they might as well use litecoins and pay themselves.

“It seems that it doesn’t really matter where you send your offering too. Whoever is in control of the address will just use it for fun,” Donny said in the gospel of Jane 3:16, “I bet somebody just wrote those shit up, claim that the whole thing is scripture, and hope for some gullible dumb suckers to send some serious cash.” “That being said. If you believe that some writing is scripture or in any way worth reading, or spreading, you are free to offer any money to whatever address found in the manuscript,” Donny character shamelessly promotes interests of his creators, “It’ll make the stuff viral and so we can enlighten more people.”

“I know that ha mosiach will come and explain to us this whole shit. I’ll just tell everybody,” says Mary.

Donny was finally executed by the Communist (with Chinese characteristic) Imperial Republic of Taiwan, which happened to control Judea at that time.

His followers, known as the Donnists, or Donuts, used to blame jews for thousands of years afterward. They usually wear various electric chair themed ornaments as earrings, or necklaces, etc based on what they think how Donny was executed.

“Our lord and savior, Donny, got 20k volts of alternating current electricity for a full 5 minutes so all of us can have alternate currency. We are now free from tyranny of central banks that controls 51% of the mining application specific integrated circuits’ computing power,” says Ivan in a sermon.

“Our humans body has huge capacitive property. Alternating currents can boil you alive,” says Nathan, in Sunday school, before showing the movie Passion of Donny.

Legends arise that Donny survived the electric chair, go to Kashmir, got married, and have children.

More popular legends, that for some reason is more viral, say that many saw Donny afterward in some ghost like state. Donny discovered chi based human flight and reach stratosphere in front of a few “believers”. The Jane gospel claim that Donny went up there to save humanity from ever increasingly powerful alien super villains with exponentially growing power level.

Humanity’s survival till now is proof that Donny is still alive and winning somewhere.

He’ll come back on his second coming bringing believers to a nice place. There, inhabitants’ brain will be flooded with serotonin and dopamine. There will be no cortisol there. Oxytocin is not confirmed yet.

The donuts have now become a great ally for the jews though. Most of them are goyim. Jews are annoyed by them because many wants to convert jews to donuts’ beliefs.

“We have our own religions. Our religion is the oldest religion in the world. We still interpret that religion the way our ancestors did when Moses were on mount Sinai. We’re the original. The others are just copycat that claim to be us. If you look very carefully, you will see that other religions teach many different things than what’s enshrined in our Torah,” explains Kevin, a rabbi, when officiating polyandry lesbian civil union between Adam, Steve and a bunch of other humans with alternative sexuality.

“May God bring curses on all heretics, (Why do we pray for G-d to smash down our fellow Jews?, Why do Jewish people pray to God to punish someone who has ideas that are different from what Judaism teaches (Heresy)) said Kevin further (Same-sex marriage and Judaism - Wikipedia). “Our Torah is eternal. Woe to those who interpret the torah any differently than the way Moses and Aaron did it (Laws of Abrogation).

If only Moshe rabeinu would found a time machine and reach our time, seeing what we do, he’ll be so proud in seeing how well we have preserved his teaching,” Kevin further added.

Mitzvahs are administered far more efficiently once the jews got their Mosiach. That’s especially true, when the Mosiach is Charlie.

A pilot would receive transmission of Christians preaching gospel in Tel Aviv and Jerusalem(The Brick Testament).

Within minutes, rabbis would confirm that such message constitute encouragement to worship other gods. The ruling is then transmitted to a pilot. The pilot then launches millions of sword bullets to kill the towns’ inhabitants. The attack is then followed with graviton surge to suck in all materials into one spot. The spot is automatically ignited as burnt offering for Yahweh. The region has no building permit, greatly lowering real estate value of the region.

“We shouldn’t do that no matter what Torah said. We should just come up with some explanation why we shouldn’t do that. It’s more practical. Cities are expensive,” complains Henry, another rabbi, which is soon stoned to death for contempt of court.

“Torah based society doesn’t have executive, legislative, and judicative branch of government. Those branches are invented much latter in France during the French revolution,” explains Charlie. “The only jury, judges, and executioner are priests, picked and led by me, ha mosiach, ha melek, ha cohen gadol, and ha nevi. Of course, I pretty much agree with myself. So Henry is guilty for heresy because he disagrees with me and stoned,” Charlie added.

Henry is then stoned by mob with bible on his head (The Brick Testament)

When a woman has a discharge, if her discharge in her body is blood, she shall continue in her menstrual impurity for seven days; and whoever touches her shall be unclean until evening. Everything also on which she lies during her menstrual impurity shall be unclean, and everything on which she sits shall be unclean. Anyone who touches her bed shall wash his clothes and bathe in water and be unclean until evening…Leviticus 15:20 "'Anything she lies on during her period will be unclean, and anything she sits on will be unclean.

The relatively now more liberal Palestinian terrorists send menstruating women to sit on many busses. That renders many bus service in Israel unusable. More chaos follows. Many of those buses are then sold to japan at cheaper price. Most are just strapped with bombs and sent back to Palestine.

Mass graves are found for those caught eating cheese burgers (Exodus 23:19 "Bring the best of the firstfruits of your soil to the house of the LORD your God. "Do not cook a young goat in its mother's milk.), wearing polyester (Deuteronomy 22:11 Hebrew Text Analysis). All married jewish porn stars are stoned and many porn must be imported from the goyims.

Charlie did many other deeds being the messiah of all. Soon jews then go all the way back to practice everything the torah says as Yahweh told them thousands of years ago on mount Sinai.

Meanwhile, other highly intelligent species, the chimps and the octopus, are still waiting for their ha mosiach too. “We’ll see what happen to them in a few billion years once they start evolving culture and religions,” says Jim, a scientist.
 

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