- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
- 250
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This is a consumerism parable inspired by Scenes from a Mall and The Greatest American Hero.
Signing off,
{thanks for all the interested critiques, CellBlock}
====
Americans were proud of a fancy new shopping-complex in Washington, D.C. and invited various celebrities for its grand opening. The mall, named D.C. Palace, featured eco-friendly stores and features and an indoor greenhouse and various plants. Celebrities invited included Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks, Gal Gadot, Julia Roberts, and Dennis Quaid. D.C. Palace would be the official new 'fantasy-island' --- a beacon of idealism for consumerism in American society.
As Tom Hanks and Tom Cruise arrived, it was exposed that the two movie superstars were actually...superheroes! Cruise and Hanks were actually the superhumans known as Green Lantern and the Flash. While comic book writers had been writing adventure-stories about Lantern and Flash for years, adapted from the real-life crime-fighting stories ripped right out of CNN headlines, no one knew that it was in fact Cruise and Hanks that were Green Lantern and the Flash! Everyone remarked, "What a great 'feather' for the opening of the impressive new D.C. Palace."
A special new issue titled Flash & Green Lantern: The Brave and the Bold was released to commemorate Hanks/Flash and Lantern/Cruise making cameo-appearances at D.C. Palace. It was a consumerism confetti of really fun proportions. Flash (Hanks) and Lantern (Cruise) decided to even wear their special superhero outfits to the gala D.C. Palace opening, and Gal Gadot, actress who appeared in the new Wonder Woman film, was also there...and she had a revelation of her own.
As many fans of Wonder Woman comics knew, Gal Gadot was a critically-praised actress whose portrayal of the iconic American superheroine breathed new life into the classic comic book character. Now, even feminists were referencing Wonder Woman in various consumerism-discussions about the power of female 'characters' (or 'avatars') in mainstream culture. Well, Gadot revealed to the world at the D.C. Palace opening that she was indeed...really Wonder Woman! Hanks (Flash) and Cruise (Lantern) gave her a big hug.
After this cool revelation, comic book writers began planning new issues of Wonder Woman comics, with storylines reflecting this new real-life revelation that Gal Gadot not only portrayed Wonder Woman on screen (in Hollywood) but was Wonder Woman in real life. This real-life Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) did indeed carry a magic-rope and exhibited incredible superhuman strength and agility, not unlike the fictional 'Amazon-queen superheroine' from the comic books. When a reporter asked, "If you're the 'real' Wonder Woman, how did American comic book writers 'surmise' your existence before you revealed it?" Gadot (Wonder Woman) replied, "A superhero/heroine just might be able to 'psychically' respond to the great daydreams and fantasies of everyday people...the patriotic consumers of American society."
As Flash, Lantern, and Wonder Woman played host to the D.C. Palace opening, there was suddenly a very strange commotion. A band of bandits wearing helmets/masks crashed the 'party' on bikes and rode through the levels and halls of D.C. Palace and performed outrageous jewelry heists at the two lavish jewelry stores at the mall, Kay Jewelers and Jared. The bandits evaded the clutches of Flash, Lantern, and Wonder Woman who were caught off guard and therefore unable to nab the biked bandits. The headlines read, "Superheroes fail to catch the Biked Bandits."
After this very strange incident, a council in D.C. convened to evaluate how Flash, Lantern, and Wonder Woman would be given the 'honor' of tracking down the Biked Bandits and bringing them to swift justice. The council was appointed by U.S. President Donald Trump himself who tweeted on a Sunday morning, "I think Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) can single-handedly catch these mall-raiders, but perhaps she'll recruit the awesome help of Hanks/Flash and Cruise/Lantern; consumers are eager to see good justice." Trump's council wanted this matter to be resolved efficiently so advertisers could continue to hype the capitalism-symbolism of D.C. Palace.
TRUMP: I believe in Flash, Lantern and Wonder Woman.
CARTER: The Post is referring to the trio as the American Triad.
TRUMP: This is crazy; who the heck are these 'Biked Bandits,' anyway?
CARTER: Some believe, including FBI/CIA agents that they're working for Black Mask.
TRUMP: Wait...Black Mask is the black market munitions syndicate from Moscow, right?
CARTER: Yes, and Black Mask may be allied to the terrorist groups ISIS and Cobra.
TRUMP: Wow, so Black Mask is responsible for somehow 'anointing' these 'Biked Bandits.'
CARTER: Wonder Woman believes the Biked Bandits are hiding out somewhere in Virginia.
TRUMP: What do Hanks/Flash and Cruise/Lantern think?
CARTER: The Flash and Green Lantern hypothesize that the Biked Bandits are terrorists.
TRUMP: I wonder how our 'American Triad' will catch these guys...
CARTER: The CIA has tracked a conspiracy involving Black Mask and a Vatican-conspiracy.
TRUMP: What?
CARTER: Yes, apparently Black Mask intends to do something mischievous in Vatican City.
TRUMP: When?
CARTER: Apparently during Christmas 2018.
TRUMP: Well...Wonder Woman and her two hunk-allies (Flash/Lantern) better resolve this.
CARTER: The 'American Triad' has been obligated to deal with this entire matter...
TRUMP: This sounds like some grand 'civilization soap-opera.'
CARTER: Are you a fan of the film The Terrorist?
TRUMP: I've heard of that lauded/unusual film...it's from India, right?
CARTER: Yes. Indians love comic books as much as Americans.
TRUMP: So what, Carter?
CARTER: Well, given that Bollywood is Hollywood's counterpart, there may be overtones.
TRUMP: Are you suggesting that Black Mask may be operating in India?
CARTER: Why not? After all, new age terrorists try to link trends with politics.
TRUMP: May capitalism prevail through all this 'human bias,' Carter.
CARTER: Let's go watch Justice League on Netflix!
====
Signing off,
{thanks for all the interested critiques, CellBlock}
====
Americans were proud of a fancy new shopping-complex in Washington, D.C. and invited various celebrities for its grand opening. The mall, named D.C. Palace, featured eco-friendly stores and features and an indoor greenhouse and various plants. Celebrities invited included Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks, Gal Gadot, Julia Roberts, and Dennis Quaid. D.C. Palace would be the official new 'fantasy-island' --- a beacon of idealism for consumerism in American society.
As Tom Hanks and Tom Cruise arrived, it was exposed that the two movie superstars were actually...superheroes! Cruise and Hanks were actually the superhumans known as Green Lantern and the Flash. While comic book writers had been writing adventure-stories about Lantern and Flash for years, adapted from the real-life crime-fighting stories ripped right out of CNN headlines, no one knew that it was in fact Cruise and Hanks that were Green Lantern and the Flash! Everyone remarked, "What a great 'feather' for the opening of the impressive new D.C. Palace."
A special new issue titled Flash & Green Lantern: The Brave and the Bold was released to commemorate Hanks/Flash and Lantern/Cruise making cameo-appearances at D.C. Palace. It was a consumerism confetti of really fun proportions. Flash (Hanks) and Lantern (Cruise) decided to even wear their special superhero outfits to the gala D.C. Palace opening, and Gal Gadot, actress who appeared in the new Wonder Woman film, was also there...and she had a revelation of her own.
As many fans of Wonder Woman comics knew, Gal Gadot was a critically-praised actress whose portrayal of the iconic American superheroine breathed new life into the classic comic book character. Now, even feminists were referencing Wonder Woman in various consumerism-discussions about the power of female 'characters' (or 'avatars') in mainstream culture. Well, Gadot revealed to the world at the D.C. Palace opening that she was indeed...really Wonder Woman! Hanks (Flash) and Cruise (Lantern) gave her a big hug.
After this cool revelation, comic book writers began planning new issues of Wonder Woman comics, with storylines reflecting this new real-life revelation that Gal Gadot not only portrayed Wonder Woman on screen (in Hollywood) but was Wonder Woman in real life. This real-life Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) did indeed carry a magic-rope and exhibited incredible superhuman strength and agility, not unlike the fictional 'Amazon-queen superheroine' from the comic books. When a reporter asked, "If you're the 'real' Wonder Woman, how did American comic book writers 'surmise' your existence before you revealed it?" Gadot (Wonder Woman) replied, "A superhero/heroine just might be able to 'psychically' respond to the great daydreams and fantasies of everyday people...the patriotic consumers of American society."
As Flash, Lantern, and Wonder Woman played host to the D.C. Palace opening, there was suddenly a very strange commotion. A band of bandits wearing helmets/masks crashed the 'party' on bikes and rode through the levels and halls of D.C. Palace and performed outrageous jewelry heists at the two lavish jewelry stores at the mall, Kay Jewelers and Jared. The bandits evaded the clutches of Flash, Lantern, and Wonder Woman who were caught off guard and therefore unable to nab the biked bandits. The headlines read, "Superheroes fail to catch the Biked Bandits."
After this very strange incident, a council in D.C. convened to evaluate how Flash, Lantern, and Wonder Woman would be given the 'honor' of tracking down the Biked Bandits and bringing them to swift justice. The council was appointed by U.S. President Donald Trump himself who tweeted on a Sunday morning, "I think Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) can single-handedly catch these mall-raiders, but perhaps she'll recruit the awesome help of Hanks/Flash and Cruise/Lantern; consumers are eager to see good justice." Trump's council wanted this matter to be resolved efficiently so advertisers could continue to hype the capitalism-symbolism of D.C. Palace.
TRUMP: I believe in Flash, Lantern and Wonder Woman.
CARTER: The Post is referring to the trio as the American Triad.
TRUMP: This is crazy; who the heck are these 'Biked Bandits,' anyway?
CARTER: Some believe, including FBI/CIA agents that they're working for Black Mask.
TRUMP: Wait...Black Mask is the black market munitions syndicate from Moscow, right?
CARTER: Yes, and Black Mask may be allied to the terrorist groups ISIS and Cobra.
TRUMP: Wow, so Black Mask is responsible for somehow 'anointing' these 'Biked Bandits.'
CARTER: Wonder Woman believes the Biked Bandits are hiding out somewhere in Virginia.
TRUMP: What do Hanks/Flash and Cruise/Lantern think?
CARTER: The Flash and Green Lantern hypothesize that the Biked Bandits are terrorists.
TRUMP: I wonder how our 'American Triad' will catch these guys...
CARTER: The CIA has tracked a conspiracy involving Black Mask and a Vatican-conspiracy.
TRUMP: What?
CARTER: Yes, apparently Black Mask intends to do something mischievous in Vatican City.
TRUMP: When?
CARTER: Apparently during Christmas 2018.
TRUMP: Well...Wonder Woman and her two hunk-allies (Flash/Lantern) better resolve this.
CARTER: The 'American Triad' has been obligated to deal with this entire matter...
TRUMP: This sounds like some grand 'civilization soap-opera.'
CARTER: Are you a fan of the film The Terrorist?
TRUMP: I've heard of that lauded/unusual film...it's from India, right?
CARTER: Yes. Indians love comic books as much as Americans.
TRUMP: So what, Carter?
CARTER: Well, given that Bollywood is Hollywood's counterpart, there may be overtones.
TRUMP: Are you suggesting that Black Mask may be operating in India?
CARTER: Why not? After all, new age terrorists try to link trends with politics.
TRUMP: May capitalism prevail through all this 'human bias,' Carter.
CARTER: Let's go watch Justice League on Netflix!
====
