California Loot and Scoot Tours -- Introductory Offer

[flacaltenn]

I wrote this for submission to the Babylon Bee and discovered that they changed their policies. You now have to pay $10 a month to join their premium forum so you can suggest JUST TITLES to them. Which I'm told they then write themselves and give you little credit for.

So -- their loss is YOUR GAIN. Feel free to share this with friends and family at Thankgiving. Let me know how much a brawl over politics you started with it. LOL.. Would really like Gutfeld to do a skit on this with Kat and Tyrus as the tour guides.

****&****

California “Loot and Scoot” Tours – Introductory Offer

By FlaCalTenn – November 24th, 2021

California “Loot and Scoot” Tours offers the ultimate getaway that pays YOU back. Thanks to the generosity of all Californians who voted to pass Proposition 47 in 2014, probably without a lot of thought and only from the goodness of their bleeding hearts, YOU can grab up to $950 worth of complimentary high-end merch from stores that you thought you could never afford. Although performing that act is technically still a misdemeanor, WE have selected the localities where prosecutors are doing the right thing and refusing to prosecute.

And that’s not all!!! Included in these tours, you will:

• Be loaned a SKU tag scanner to let you KNOW FOR SURE, when you’ve bagged the legal limit.
• You will receive a decorative, padded bag with your knick-name embroidered on it with pictures of the chosen city on it in which to place your stolen stash.
• A Dr Fauci certified Covid safe ski mask to protect your anonymity and keep you healthy.
• AND a certificate for 15% off the price of your next Loot and Scoot Tour in a different California city that’s on our itinerary list.

Because we strive to be inclusive, a limited number of powered scooters will be available to the handicapped and the slow – so reserve your space EARLY!!

Just barge right in, pick your best items, put them with your mask and scanner into your personalized bag and toss it into the unmarked pick-up truck waiting at the curb. For EACH city selected, we will have a fantastic rendezvous site where all participants can brag about and swap their haul. For instance, in the San Francisco tour – we’ll book a meeting space in some fine Napa Valley winery. Who wants to STAY in a place like San Francisco anyways?

ACT NOW – Before the state comes to its senses!! No refunds for sudden changes in State policies.

 

[Manonthestreet]

if they had competent web sleuths they would be able to find their sale sites and go after em

 

[flacaltenn]

if they had competent web sleuths they would be able to find their sale sites and go after em

Why? all these snatch and grabs are now coordinated on Facebook and I don't see ZuckerBird in cuffs.. But just in case, I used my I-net identity and no real name.

 

[flacaltenn]

Special discounts for all my best buds on USMB. Was thinking of registering that business name in Cali.. Just to see if anyone caught it.

 

[toobfreak]

I wrote this for submission to the Babylon Bee

I really think the state needs to get their act together to save these stores. They simply need instead to organize gift baskets wrapped in cellophane in the town square where each is valued at $950 and the would-be looters (ahem: organized robbers) simply wait their turn in line then walk through and select their package!

 

[flacaltenn]

I really think the state needs to get their act together to save these stores. They simply need instead to organize gift baskets wrapped in cellophane in the town square where each is valued at $950 and the would-be looters (ahem: organized robbers) simply wait their turn in line then walk through and select their package!



View attachment 568118

Only if the STATE and the people of Cali PAY for those gift baskets. Neiman Marcus didn't start this.

 

[toobfreak]

Only if the STATE and the people of Cali PAY for those gift baskets.

Naturally. Cheaper in the long run than letting stores get looted.

 

[flacaltenn]

Naturally. Cheaper in the long run than letting stores get looted.

What's cheaper in the long run IS REPEALING this law and offer a better, saner "justice reform" choice. San Fran has already lost 1/3 of their city center drug stores. I THINK -- that's close to panic and crisis time in any NORMAL world.

 

[OhPleaseJustQuit]

What's cheaper in the long run IS REPEALING this law and offer a better, saner "justice reform" choice. San Fran has already lost 1/3 of their city center drug stores. I THINK -- that's close to panic and crisis time in any NORMAL world.

And look at how many of the insane leftists on this board actually condone the thievery.

 

[flacaltenn]

Hey westwall -- Wanna go into biz with me? I'm not real close to the scene of the crimes anymore.

 

[westwall]

Hey westwall -- Wanna go into biz with me? I'm not real close to the scene of the crimes anymore.

I can be your getaway pilot!

 

[toobfreak]

I THINK -- that's close to panic and crisis time in any NORMAL world.

Yes but we are not in any normal world-- -- -- that's the problem, the Dems are playing a game with no rules to win and the GOP turtles are still trying to keep this in the normal world buying into the "Right Wing Danger" baloney of the media, while still condemning Trump for having the temerity of rubbing their noses in the truth of it by publicly declaring a defensive war against the Left.

 

[flacaltenn]

Yes but we are not in any normal world-- -- -- that's the problem, the Dems are playing a game with no rules to win and the GOP turtles are still trying to keep this in the normal world buying into the "Right Wing Danger" baloney of the media, while still condemning Trump for having the temerity of rubbing their noses in the truth of it by publicly declaring a defensive war against the Left.

All I know is that the best defense against the stupidity and cluelessness of the FAR left right now, is to satire and ridicule their lame asses into having a bit of humility.

Like if Babylon Bee was an IPO on the stock market, it'd be hotter than Beyond Beef. And the only #1 comedy late night show on TV anymore is Gutfeld.

 

[flacaltenn]

I can be your getaway pilot!

How about towing a Loot n' Scoot banner over Central Reno and Las Vegas for us?

 

[toobfreak]

All I know is that the best defense against the stupidity and cluelessness of the FAR left right now, is to satire and ridicule their lame asses into having a bit of humility.

I don't think the Left are capable of humility. They never demonstrate it to me. And while much/most of the Left's base may be stupid, clueless and misinformed, I think those leading them running the Biddum coup at the head of it all are anything but that. And no one will ever stop those people with mere satire and ridicule.

But it might not hurt if the Turtleman got off his ass for once, and tried practicing a little overt ridicule of them-- -- -- at least it might be a good start. Then ITMT, indicated to the rest of us that the GOP actually have a plan and are already in motion taking action.

 

[westwall]

How about towing a Loot n' Scoot banner over Central Reno and Las Vegas for us?

I could do that!

 

[flacaltenn]

I don't think the Left are capable of humility. They never demonstrate it to me. And while much/most of the Left's base may be stupid, clueless and misinformed, I think those leading them running the Biddum coup at the head of it all are anything but that. And no one will ever stop those people with mere satire and ridicule.

But it might not hurt if the Turtleman got off his ass for once, and tried practicing a little overt ridicule of them-- -- -- at least it might be a good start. Then ITMT, indicated to the rest of us that the GOP actually have a plan and are already in motion taking action.

This comes from the Secular Humanism that left embraces. Secular Humanism is about how MAN is capable and the only judge of wisdom, morality, law and govt. Sec-Human only got traction with the downfall of Liberals and the RESURGENCE of Progressives. Who thought themselves WISE, elite and superior enough to be the cheerleaders for some REALLY REALLY BAD ideas like Eugenics where they shared views with the Nazis.

The one thing that religion or faith or even being spiritual and believing in Natural Law for instance DOES -- is make you humble. And to realize that if you end up sitting in a concentration camp or a political prison, that the THEORY of man being capable of making powerful law and judging morals and character is a crock O' shit. MAN is deeply flawed and SO ARE HIS INSTITUTIONS and his/her unsatiable urges to take power and control..

HUMILITY is one of the key metrics underlying political differences even today. It's the foundation of "smaller vs humongeous" govt disagreements.

LOL.. "Turtleman" is no humble super-hero either. He's as much part of the current ARROGANCE of govt that we have allowed to hijack our Congress.

 

[toobfreak]

Secular Humanism is about how MAN is capable and the only judge of wisdom, morality, law and govt.

Then Secular Humanism FAILS because man is nothing without a God to guide him with a moral compass.

The one thing that religion or faith or even being spiritual and believing in Natural Law for instance DOES -- is make you humble.

Humility is the one essential element of any good person be they leader or agency of which God is the ultimate teacher, for God reminds us in our arrogance that the best of us are but one in 8 billion, and all of us together are but dust upon the Earth, a tiny pebble circling a very minor star in a remote part of an average galaxy of trillions of galaxies each with billions more stars, and that is no more than a small fraction of the Cosmos which is at least 180 million times older than any of us.