Black Assistant Professor creates new faculty position to combat Systemic Racism "Majestic Priestess of Color".

[MarathonMike]

A letter to the faculty from the assistant professor formally known as Keisha Watson:

TO ALL CONCERNED FACULTY

It has come to my attention during my 7 week tenure at this university, that there very serious and entrenched institutions of Systemic Racism that must be addressed. The first order of business is I need me a new title that befits the role I must play if we are to have the fully diverse, anti-Racism, inclusive, BLM loving university we are all longing for. The new position I'm creating is "Majestic Priestess of Color". I was going to go with Majestic Queen of Color but I thought that was too snobby. Don't you agree? Yeah I thought so. And since Y'all faculty members are White I'm clearly the only one who fits the description so unless there are any objections, AND I"M SURE THEY WON"T BE!!!!!!! then I be starting as Priestess on Monday.

Beginning on Monday:

1. Don't nobody call me that slave name Keisha Watson no mo. Anyone who does has to take my 12 day boot camp on Racial Awareness and Sensitivity.

My new name is U'MBequite MoloBoomShakalaka.

2. I will be wearing a traditional African headdress made of Ostrich Feathers and leopardskin. That way people will be able to see me from far away and come running to me with their Racial problems.

3. This new position Majestic Priestess of Color will be equal to the Dean. Equal except that if Dean disagrees with me, I win because, come on Y'all, Majestic Priestess is more important than a Dean.

4. The most important thing to keep in mind is that nothing is more important that Race. If you take a test, mess it up and you of color, come talk to me. If you feeling stressed about having to turn in assignments and you of color, come talk to me. If somebody White, faculty or student commits a microaggression ( "funny look". "eye roll" etc) against you, come talk to me. We be fixin that shit right quick.

Thank you for your attention to this Critical Race matter. It is the only way we can have a harmonious and Racism-free Campus.

Yours truly, U'MBequite MoloBoomShakalaka. (Assistant Professor formally known as Keisha Watson)

 

[JGalt]

One can only surmise what this " Majestic Priestess of Color" looks like...

 

[Damaged Eagle]

Note that it doesn't say what color

*****CHUCKLE*****

 

[Manonthestreet]

Fired. This is not a church

 

[MarathonMike]

One can only surmise what this " Majestic Priestess of Color" looks like...

My satire piece is only a slight exaggeration on the "Wokeness" that is happening on campuses now.

 

[Circe]

A letter to the faculty from the assistant professor formally known as Keisha Watson:

TO ALL CONCERNED FACULTY

It has come to my attention during my 7 week tenure at this university, that there very serious and entrenched institutions of Systemic Racism that must be addressed. The first order of business is I need me a new title that befits the role I must play if we are to have the fully diverse, anti-Racism, inclusive, BLM loving university we are all longing for. The new position I'm creating is "Majestic Priestess of Color". I was going to go with Majestic Queen of Color but I thought that was too snobby. Don't you agree? Yeah I thought so. And since Y'all faculty members are White I'm clearly the only one who fits the description so unless there are any objections, AND I"M SURE THEY WON"T BE!!!!!!! then I be starting as Priestess on Monday.

Beginning on Monday:

1. Don't nobody call me that slave name Keisha Watson no mo. Anyone who does has to take my 12 day boot camp on Racial Awareness and Sensitivity.

My new name is U'MBequite MoloBoomShakalaka.

2. I will be wearing a traditional African headdress made of Ostrich Feathers and leopardskin. That way people will be able to see me from far away and come running to me with their Racial problems.

3. This new position Majestic Priestess of Color will be equal to the Dean. Equal except that if Dean disagrees with me, I win because, come on Y'all, Majestic Priestess is more important than a Dean.

4. The most important thing to keep in mind is that nothing is more important that Race. If you take a test, mess it up and you of color, come talk to me. If you feeling stressed about having to turn in assignments and you of color, come talk to me. If somebody White, faculty or student commits a microaggression ( "funny look". "eye roll" etc) against you, come talk to me. We be fixin that shit right quick.

Thank you for your attention to this Critical Race matter. It is the only way we can have a harmonious and Racism-free Campus.

Yours truly, U'MBequite MoloBoomShakalaka. (Assistant Professor formally known as Keisha Watson)

I thought maybe I went too far earlier today; guess not.

 

[MarathonMike]

A letter to the faculty from the assistant professor formally known as Keisha Watson:

TO ALL CONCERNED FACULTY

It has come to my attention during my 7 week tenure at this university, that there very serious and entrenched institutions of Systemic Racism that must be addressed. The first order of business is I need me a new title that befits the role I must play if we are to have the fully diverse, anti-Racism, inclusive, BLM loving university we are all longing for. The new position I'm creating is "Majestic Priestess of Color". I was going to go with Majestic Queen of Color but I thought that was too snobby. Don't you agree? Yeah I thought so. And since Y'all faculty members are White I'm clearly the only one who fits the description so unless there are any objections, AND I"M SURE THEY WON"T BE!!!!!!! then I be starting as Priestess on Monday.

Beginning on Monday:

1. Don't nobody call me that slave name Keisha Watson no mo. Anyone who does has to take my 12 day boot camp on Racial Awareness and Sensitivity.

My new name is U'MBequite MoloBoomShakalaka.

2. I will be wearing a traditional African headdress made of Ostrich Feathers and leopardskin. That way people will be able to see me from far away and come running to me with their Racial problems.

3. This new position Majestic Priestess of Color will be equal to the Dean. Equal except that if Dean disagrees with me, I win because, come on Y'all, Majestic Priestess is more important than a Dean.

4. The most important thing to keep in mind is that nothing is more important that Race. If you take a test, mess it up and you of color, come talk to me. If you feeling stressed about having to turn in assignments and you of color, come talk to me. If somebody White, faculty or student commits a microaggression ( "funny look". "eye roll" etc) against you, come talk to me. We be fixin that shit right quick.

Thank you for your attention to this Critical Race matter. It is the only way we can have a harmonious and Racism-free Campus.

Yours truly, U'MBequite MoloBoomShakalaka. (Assistant Professor formally known as Keisha Watson)

I thought maybe I went too far earlier today; guess not.

This is an exaggeration of what is going on in my wife's department. The professors and students of color are bombarding the faculty with all manner of Social and Racial justice.

 

[Circe]

This is an exaggeration of what is going on in my wife's department. The professors and students of color are bombarding the faculty with all manner of Social and Racial justice.

We have a situation here, MM. Very amusing parody you did, but we really do have a problem, as it is clear you know.

 

[MarathonMike]

This is an exaggeration of what is going on in my wife's department. The professors and students of color are bombarding the faculty with all manner of Social and Racial justice.

We have a situation here, MM. Very amusing parody you did, but we really do have a problem, as it is clear you know.

Oh absolutely! My wife and half of her department is now going for early retirement. Prior to all this BLM generated insanity, they were happy with their positions at the University. Now they are dealing with angry militant students and angry militant low level professors who point fingers and make demands every day.

 

[LeftofLeft]

A letter to the faculty from the assistant professor formally known as Keisha Watson:

TO ALL CONCERNED FACULTY

It has come to my attention during my 7 week tenure at this university, that there very serious and entrenched institutions of Systemic Racism that must be addressed. The first order of business is I need me a new title that befits the role I must play if we are to have the fully diverse, anti-Racism, inclusive, BLM loving university we are all longing for. The new position I'm creating is "Majestic Priestess of Color". I was going to go with Majestic Queen of Color but I thought that was too snobby. Don't you agree? Yeah I thought so. And since Y'all faculty members are White I'm clearly the only one who fits the description so unless there are any objections, AND I"M SURE THEY WON"T BE!!!!!!! then I be starting as Priestess on Monday.

Beginning on Monday:

1. Don't nobody call me that slave name Keisha Watson no mo. Anyone who does has to take my 12 day boot camp on Racial Awareness and Sensitivity.

My new name is U'MBequite MoloBoomShakalaka.

2. I will be wearing a traditional African headdress made of Ostrich Feathers and leopardskin. That way people will be able to see me from far away and come running to me with their Racial problems.

3. This new position Majestic Priestess of Color will be equal to the Dean. Equal except that if Dean disagrees with me, I win because, come on Y'all, Majestic Priestess is more important than a Dean.

4. The most important thing to keep in mind is that nothing is more important that Race. If you take a test, mess it up and you of color, come talk to me. If you feeling stressed about having to turn in assignments and you of color, come talk to me. If somebody White, faculty or student commits a microaggression ( "funny look". "eye roll" etc) against you, come talk to me. We be fixin that shit right quick.

Thank you for your attention to this Critical Race matter. It is the only way we can have a harmonious and Racism-free Campus.

Yours truly, U'MBequite MoloBoomShakalaka. (Assistant Professor formally known as Keisha Watson)

Privilege

 

[MarathonMike]

A letter to the faculty from the assistant professor formally known as Keisha Watson:

TO ALL CONCERNED FACULTY

It has come to my attention during my 7 week tenure at this university, that there very serious and entrenched institutions of Systemic Racism that must be addressed. The first order of business is I need me a new title that befits the role I must play if we are to have the fully diverse, anti-Racism, inclusive, BLM loving university we are all longing for. The new position I'm creating is "Majestic Priestess of Color". I was going to go with Majestic Queen of Color but I thought that was too snobby. Don't you agree? Yeah I thought so. And since Y'all faculty members are White I'm clearly the only one who fits the description so unless there are any objections, AND I"M SURE THEY WON"T BE!!!!!!! then I be starting as Priestess on Monday.

Beginning on Monday:

1. Don't nobody call me that slave name Keisha Watson no mo. Anyone who does has to take my 12 day boot camp on Racial Awareness and Sensitivity.

My new name is U'MBequite MoloBoomShakalaka.

2. I will be wearing a traditional African headdress made of Ostrich Feathers and leopardskin. That way people will be able to see me from far away and come running to me with their Racial problems.

3. This new position Majestic Priestess of Color will be equal to the Dean. Equal except that if Dean disagrees with me, I win because, come on Y'all, Majestic Priestess is more important than a Dean.

4. The most important thing to keep in mind is that nothing is more important that Race. If you take a test, mess it up and you of color, come talk to me. If you feeling stressed about having to turn in assignments and you of color, come talk to me. If somebody White, faculty or student commits a microaggression ( "funny look". "eye roll" etc) against you, come talk to me. We be fixin that shit right quick.

Thank you for your attention to this Critical Race matter. It is the only way we can have a harmonious and Racism-free Campus.

Yours truly, U'MBequite MoloBoomShakalaka. (Assistant Professor formally known as Keisha Watson)

Privilege

Yes The Privilege of Color is real.

 

[TheParser]

A letter to the faculty from the assistant professor formally known as Keisha Watson:

TO ALL CONCERNED FACULTY

It has come to my attention during my 7 week tenure at this university, that there very serious and entrenched institutions of Systemic Racism that must be addressed. The first order of business is I need me a new title that befits the role I must play if we are to have the fully diverse, anti-Racism, inclusive, BLM loving university we are all longing for. The new position I'm creating is "Majestic Priestess of Color". I was going to go with Majestic Queen of Color but I thought that was too snobby. Don't you agree? Yeah I thought so. And since Y'all faculty members are White I'm clearly the only one who fits the description so unless there are any objections, AND I"M SURE THEY WON"T BE!!!!!!! then I be starting as Priestess on Monday.

Beginning on Monday:

1. Don't nobody call me that slave name Keisha Watson no mo. Anyone who does has to take my 12 day boot camp on Racial Awareness and Sensitivity.

My new name is U'MBequite MoloBoomShakalaka.

2. I will be wearing a traditional African headdress made of Ostrich Feathers and leopardskin. That way people will be able to see me from far away and come running to me with their Racial problems.

3. This new position Majestic Priestess of Color will be equal to the Dean. Equal except that if Dean disagrees with me, I win because, come on Y'all, Majestic Priestess is more important than a Dean.

4. The most important thing to keep in mind is that nothing is more important that Race. If you take a test, mess it up and you of color, come talk to me. If you feeling stressed about having to turn in assignments and you of color, come talk to me. If somebody White, faculty or student commits a microaggression ( "funny look". "eye roll" etc) against you, come talk to me. We be fixin that shit right quick.

Thank you for your attention to this Critical Race matter. It is the only way we can have a harmonious and Racism-free Campus.

Yours truly, U'MBequite MoloBoomShakalaka. (Assistant Professor formally known as Keisha Watson)

I thought maybe I went too far earlier today; guess not.

This is an exaggeration of what is going on in my wife's department. The professors and students of color are bombarding the faculty with all manner of Social and Racial justice.

It must be Hell for many faculty members.

No doubt they have to carefully check their lectures, lest one single word send a student into hysterics.

Of course, the other students are disgusted but they know better than to complain.

What a horrible farce the universities have become.

 

[MarathonMike]

t must be Hell for many faculty members.

No doubt they have to carefully check their lectures, lest one single word send a student into hysterics.

Of course, the other students are disgusted but they know better than to complain.

What a horrible farce the universities have become.

It was bad before Covid and the BLM bullies took over. Universities are now 4 alarm dumpster fires.

 

[TheParser]

t must be Hell for many faculty members.

No doubt they have to carefully check their lectures, lest one single word send a student into hysterics.

Of course, the other students are disgusted but they know better than to complain.

What a horrible farce the universities have become.

It was bad before Covid and the BLM bullies took over. Universities are now 4 alarm dumpster fires.

I am assuming that many conscientious professors will take early retirement.

Their places will be taken by woke "scholars" chosen for their gender and ethnicity.

Can you imagine the woke "education" that students will be getting?

 

[MarathonMike]

Fired. This is not a church

This is the New World Order, my friend! U'mbequite is on her way to becoming University President as soon as she brings him down with Racial Inequality accusations.

 

[MarathonMike]

UPDATE: Students of color complain about a White Professor of being too rigid and uncaring about their stress. The professor was removed from teaching for the rest of the semester. THIS IS NOT SATIRE.