Biden Administration To Provide Grief Counselors At All Gas Pumps

[mudwhistle]

WASHINGTON, D.C.—To help alleviate pain at the pump, the Biden Administration has announced a $1 billion initiative to provide grief and trauma counselors to stand by at all gas pumps across the nation.


The plan will fund licensed therapists and psychiatrists to stand at the ready at gas pumps from New York to California to comfort people mourning the loss of hundreds of dollars every time they fill up their tanks.

"There, there. It's gonna be OK," said one grief counselor as a woman filled up her VW at a gas pump in California. "Times like these can be difficult to cope with, but we can survive Putin's Price Hike if we look deep within ourselves for strength and guidance. Now, let's try some breathing exercises."

Another woman in Ohio burst into tears after paying over $3 for gas for the first time in her life.

"Shhh, shhh, it's OK, honey," said one therapist, stroking her hair. "You're going through the stages of grief. Soon, you'll learn to live with $10 gas. You literally won't even remember when gas was as cheap as it was during the Trump administration."

"I know, I know," the woman replied. "It's just so hard to accept. I miss... I miss Trump.

"Biden has actually gotten pretty hands-on during this initiative, reporting that he plans to comfort young women at gas pumps himself from time to time "to help chip in." "It's the least I can do," he said before stationing himself at a gas pump and waiting for a cute young girl to pull up.

Biden Administration To Provide Grief Counselors At All Gas Pumps

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a move to help alleviate pain at the pump, the Biden Administration has announced a $1 billion initiative to provide grief and trauma counselors to stand by at all gas pumps across the nation.The plan will fund licensed therapists and psychiatrists to stand at the ready at...

babylonbee.com

I'm waiting for the first gas station mass-shooting. It's only a matter of time.

 

[toobfreak]

Biden Administration To Provide Grief Counselors At All Gas Pumps​

I think a far better solution would be to at least provide a Biden leather punching bag for people to hit at each station to allieviate stress from the Biden economy, or better yet, maybe a Biden target for people to shoot at perhaps with provided shotguns on a rope for a $1 fee like one of those duck pond games at a carnival.

The proceeds could be used to help pay for feeding starving babies.

The money Joe has wasted on Ukraine so far could have been used to give every gas station in America $100,000 in Biden relief. I bet the Biden duck pond shooting gallery would be enormously popular at carnivals, gas stations, supermarkets, all across this country as apparently the people in Washington don't give a jack about us and in fact consider us a carbon problem best solved by raising living costs to a level affordable only to the elite like Joe.

Sad. I remember a time when presidents were honorable men whom the nation LOVED.

 

[OhPleaseJustQuit]

I think a far better solution would be to at least provide a Biden leather punching bag for people to hit at each station to allieviate stress from the Biden economy, or better yet, maybe a Biden target for people to shoot at perhaps with provided shotguns on a rope for a $1 fee like one of those duck pond games at a carnival.

The proceeds could be used to help pay for feeding starving babies.

The money Joe has wasted on Ukraine so far could have been used to give every gas station in America $100,000 in Biden relief. I bet the Biden duck pond shooting gallery would be enormously popular at carnivals, gas stations, supermarkets, all across this country as apparently the people in Washington don't give a jack about us and in fact consider us a carbon problem best solved by raising living costs to a level affordable only to the elite like Joe.


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Sad. I remember a time when presidents were honorable men whom the nation LOVED.

I moved from a West Coast shithole last August to a very small rural farming town in SE South Dakota. When I went to vote in our primary this week, I looked at the voter roll when they wrote my information on it, and I saw almost every name had an "R" next to it, with a few "N"s.

I'd almost bet that if I went to the shooting range a mile from my home, they'd have targets with JoeBob Skidmark's smiling face.

Some aspects of life in 2022 are good.