- Sep 22, 2013
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As we embrace modern capitalism and 'TrumpUSA' this summer of shopping, we might consider if President Trump fears more than anything terrorism at an American shopping mall disrupting the awesome flow of commerce. This can either be looked at as something politically sound (since modern civilization is finance-based!) or politically expedient (since capitalism is basically a profit-motive 'system').
So what kinds of ghost-stories would Trump enjoy?
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Arrow, the world's favorite archer, was roaming around a terrific new sophisticated 'smart-mall' in America, cheering on consumers as they scurried about shopping in the bright warm summer of 2030. Arrow was investigating claims that a strange spectre-like goblin was haunting the futuristic mall for some unknown reason. Arrow named this goblin the 'Money Monster' and was convinced the spectre had some ominous and evil message about consumerism, commerce, and capitalism itself. Arrow resolved to engage the goblin (the Money Monster).
Arrow walked through the futuristic American shopping-mall, simply named the Seattle Super-Store (SSS). Arrow was very impressed with the technological wonders of the SSS and its ambitious aesthetic/ergonomic design. SSS was to modern America what the Sears Tower was to the 20th Century --- a 'modern marvel.' Arrow noticed fantastic digital displays, virtual shopping guides, touch-screen purchase-menus, and motion-activated walkways friendly to consumers. However, there were reports that the Money Monster was tinkering with the tech-gadgets in the SSS and tampering with the motion-activated walkways. A few children also reported actually seeing the goblin scurrying about in the remote crevices of the SSS. The Money Monster was about the size of a human midget, and Arrow worried that its intention was to create panic and hysteria in an otherwise consumer-friendly environment.
Arrow finally encountered the Money Monster in a janitor's closet in the SSS. The goblin was sitting on the floor counting money and holding a few dollar-bills in its jagged teeth. The Money Monster was lime-green in color and quite slimy. Arrow realized that if he shot arrows at it, the arrows would simply go right through the mischievous creature (since it was comprised entirely of a slime-like organic material!). Arrow therefore resolved to engage the Money Monster in an argumentative discussion/debate, to dispel its malevolent influence from the otherwise wondrous SSS. Arrow also suspected that this goblin was very cynical about capitalism (in general). The Money Monster was something like an imp from hell.
ARROW: Why are you haunting this shopping-mall?
GOBLIN: Everyone shops now...but too much!
ARROW: Are you some kind of critic of Black Friday?
GOBLIN: I appreciate Thanksgiving and Black Friday...
ARROW: Why then are you terrorizing the good consumers of the SSS?
GOBLIN: The SSS is nothing more than an inflated rendition of the Sears Tower.
ARROW: Are you suspicious of 'civilization monuments' for some reason?
GOBLIN: I'm merely a messenger of 'temperance omens.'
ARROW: So since capitalism creates gluttony, consumers should be frightened?
GOBLIN: Sometimes, when God is not there, the forces of darkness provide guidance!
ARROW: That's a lie; if God is real, humans have no need for 'dark guides.'
GOBLIN: Capitalism creates avarice --- that's the truth.
ARROW: There are many truths; temperance is an achievement of free-will.
GOBLIN: Yet, people do whatever they want...
ARROW: Sometimes we need religious instruction but not terror.
GOBLIN: I doubt an Atheist believes God is in love with the SSS.
ARROW: You don't have to be religious to be optimistic about commerce!
GOBLIN: Really? Would you rather I haunt an ATM machine?
ARROW: I'd rather you allow consumers to determine morality on their own.
GOBLIN: Maybe you defend capitalism because you realize its real flaws.
ARROW: Defense is a matter of honor and not compromise.
GOBLIN: I'll stop haunting the SSS if you prove consumerism is ideal...
ARROW: Alright; the SSS is an extension of Facebook and Amazon.com (and hence smart!).
GOBLIN: Perhaps consumerism 'monuments' such as the SSS are 'clever' so I'll depart.
ARROW: I knew you'd see things 'our way.'
GOBLIN: Remember my omen, however, Arrow; shopping is like sleepwalking...
ARROW: Here; take this Disney wrist-watch as a token of peaceful parting.
GOBLIN: I'll remember your good wishes, you 'friend of humanity.'
Arrow received the special Key to the City from the Seattle mayor (Mr. Edward Ross) and assured the people of the good city that the SSS was once again a bright beacon of consumerism optimism. The U.S. President told CNN that Arrow has done for commerce what Abraham Lincoln did for reunification after the slavery-abolishing Civil War --- he'd exorcised the demons of wrath. Arrow was so pleased that the goblin (the 'Money Monster') had forever departed the SSS and that Americans were once again completely comfortable spending time shopping at a civilization-symbolic social environment. Arrow started reading memoirs of 9/11 (the day the World Trade Center was destroyed by fundamentalist terrorists) at the Library of Congress in Washington and wondered if the Money Monster was trying to exploit Americans' fears of general 'traffic turbulence.' Arrow had secured commercial sanity for the modern shopper(!).
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