- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
- 250
- 85
One return short about a special spirit at a college frat for Halloween that leads to a very strange campfire story about everyday rhetorics. Enjoy (and thanks for reading),
====
On the campus of a popular American college, a fraternity Halloween party was to be co-hosted by an assistant professor who was a member of the fraternity, DTD. This professor, Isaac Satan, invited his girlfriend Elena Manara, who's also an assistant professor at the college. The DTD Halloween party was always iconic, but this year, there'd be something really unusual...and hopefully special.
ISAAC: I had a great time at the Delta-house as an undergrad, and I'm excited to co-host as a professor with Elena, and I feel nerdy.
ELENA: I'm not into the whole 'frat-thing' but I think Isaac has a good mind for this thing, and Halloween at our college is cool.
Yes, it's true. The DTD Halloween party was legendary. Everyone got very festive. The costumes and spirits and light drinks and light punches were all excellent. There'd also be recordings of the entire event this year for the newly established college-TV offering, which one can access online!
ISAAC: I don't expect anything unusual at the Delta Halloween party, so I expect a cool evening with Elena there this year!
ELENA: Were it not for extenuating challenging circumstances at our otherwise popular college, I'd not be nervous at all.
Elena's referring to some recent administration-frat disagreements regarding the volume and amplitude of the DTD Halloween parties and frat parties in general. The music bands and drinks and crowds made some arguable noise, and people from the surrounding town were drawn in, and this worried the Trustees. Nevertheless, the college was famous for its awesome parties.
ISAAC: I'm keeping a personal audio recording of the entire Delta Halloween party for my compact cassette and vintage radio.
Now, the inner areas of the large frat-house was refurbished and re-invented to look like a Halloween haunted house. There'd be rooms with ghouls and monsters and basement with drinks and music and the performing campus band, the Dartmouth Yale (DY). The haunted house was beyond great, and it'd be remembered. But there was a new ingredient to the Delta Halloween party this year which'd make people say, "Jesus, what a night!"
ELENA: Why'd you want to show up with water-guns filled with corrosive acid?
ISAAC: Jesus, I won't fire these guns; but we'll be showcasing them for a special anti-chemical warfare message to students.
ELENA: Since when're you into anti-terrorism rhetoric on college campuses, Isaac?
ISAAC: This Delta Halloween party offers a special opportunity, my dear.
Isaac looked great for the Delta Halloween party with his Purge mask and wielding his 'acid-guns' for students to sign petitions for New England senators to read about the importance of Americans to get involved with anti-chemical warfare messages on the political stage, for modern troubles and modern terrorism. Isaac called himself the Dartmouth for this seminal Delta Halloween event.
One strange guest at the party showed up in a Leatherface (Texas Chainsaw Massacre) get-up. He even brought a chainsaw, had a co-guest dressed as his ghoulish 'grandpa' and requested to be put into one of the special Delta house monster-rooms as a haunting gargoyle. Isaac asked him his real name, and the Leatherface-man told him, "Call me Brown."
Turns out that our famous Leatherface-man named "Mr. Brown" was a real psychopath. He started to terrorize the Delta Halloween party attendees and chaperones and managed to even injure two police officers. Meanwhile, Isaac and Elena realized they'd have to act as special event heroes. The two heroes took Isaac's special anti-chemical warfare message 'acid-guns' and used them to spray "Mr. Brown" on his feet, disorienting him and causing him to drop his buzzing destructive chainsaw, which landed on his own leg, debilitating him. Mr. Brown was hauled off to a lunatic asylum, and the NSA, who was on hand at the time for a campus symposium about evolving American intelligence, decided to classify the entire ordeal as a very bizarre incident reflecting the kaleidoscope of anti-chemical weapons dialogue in the USA.
Meanwhile, Isaac and Elena were deified in the college newspaper in a special patriot comic about everyday heroes transforming into super-police. Isaac was Snake-Eyes and Elena was his anti-terrorism Scarlett in the comic!
MR. BROWN: What'd you want with me, sirs?
NSA: Do you realize your involvement in this affair, Leatherface?
MR. BROWN: Well, I have no interest in anti-chemical warfare propaganda.
NSA: Well, you're unwittingly part of such a Halloween frat theater in America, sir.
MR. BROWN: Jesus!
It turned out Mr. Brown really was a 'real' Leatherface, so is this story about frat-house heroics leading to D.C....or about the macabre engagement with the real Leatherface? You decide. Happy Halloween,
====
"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)
====
On the campus of a popular American college, a fraternity Halloween party was to be co-hosted by an assistant professor who was a member of the fraternity, DTD. This professor, Isaac Satan, invited his girlfriend Elena Manara, who's also an assistant professor at the college. The DTD Halloween party was always iconic, but this year, there'd be something really unusual...and hopefully special.
ISAAC: I had a great time at the Delta-house as an undergrad, and I'm excited to co-host as a professor with Elena, and I feel nerdy.
ELENA: I'm not into the whole 'frat-thing' but I think Isaac has a good mind for this thing, and Halloween at our college is cool.
Yes, it's true. The DTD Halloween party was legendary. Everyone got very festive. The costumes and spirits and light drinks and light punches were all excellent. There'd also be recordings of the entire event this year for the newly established college-TV offering, which one can access online!
ISAAC: I don't expect anything unusual at the Delta Halloween party, so I expect a cool evening with Elena there this year!
ELENA: Were it not for extenuating challenging circumstances at our otherwise popular college, I'd not be nervous at all.
Elena's referring to some recent administration-frat disagreements regarding the volume and amplitude of the DTD Halloween parties and frat parties in general. The music bands and drinks and crowds made some arguable noise, and people from the surrounding town were drawn in, and this worried the Trustees. Nevertheless, the college was famous for its awesome parties.
ISAAC: I'm keeping a personal audio recording of the entire Delta Halloween party for my compact cassette and vintage radio.
Now, the inner areas of the large frat-house was refurbished and re-invented to look like a Halloween haunted house. There'd be rooms with ghouls and monsters and basement with drinks and music and the performing campus band, the Dartmouth Yale (DY). The haunted house was beyond great, and it'd be remembered. But there was a new ingredient to the Delta Halloween party this year which'd make people say, "Jesus, what a night!"
ELENA: Why'd you want to show up with water-guns filled with corrosive acid?
ISAAC: Jesus, I won't fire these guns; but we'll be showcasing them for a special anti-chemical warfare message to students.
ELENA: Since when're you into anti-terrorism rhetoric on college campuses, Isaac?
ISAAC: This Delta Halloween party offers a special opportunity, my dear.
Isaac looked great for the Delta Halloween party with his Purge mask and wielding his 'acid-guns' for students to sign petitions for New England senators to read about the importance of Americans to get involved with anti-chemical warfare messages on the political stage, for modern troubles and modern terrorism. Isaac called himself the Dartmouth for this seminal Delta Halloween event.
One strange guest at the party showed up in a Leatherface (Texas Chainsaw Massacre) get-up. He even brought a chainsaw, had a co-guest dressed as his ghoulish 'grandpa' and requested to be put into one of the special Delta house monster-rooms as a haunting gargoyle. Isaac asked him his real name, and the Leatherface-man told him, "Call me Brown."
Turns out that our famous Leatherface-man named "Mr. Brown" was a real psychopath. He started to terrorize the Delta Halloween party attendees and chaperones and managed to even injure two police officers. Meanwhile, Isaac and Elena realized they'd have to act as special event heroes. The two heroes took Isaac's special anti-chemical warfare message 'acid-guns' and used them to spray "Mr. Brown" on his feet, disorienting him and causing him to drop his buzzing destructive chainsaw, which landed on his own leg, debilitating him. Mr. Brown was hauled off to a lunatic asylum, and the NSA, who was on hand at the time for a campus symposium about evolving American intelligence, decided to classify the entire ordeal as a very bizarre incident reflecting the kaleidoscope of anti-chemical weapons dialogue in the USA.
Meanwhile, Isaac and Elena were deified in the college newspaper in a special patriot comic about everyday heroes transforming into super-police. Isaac was Snake-Eyes and Elena was his anti-terrorism Scarlett in the comic!
MR. BROWN: What'd you want with me, sirs?
NSA: Do you realize your involvement in this affair, Leatherface?
MR. BROWN: Well, I have no interest in anti-chemical warfare propaganda.
NSA: Well, you're unwittingly part of such a Halloween frat theater in America, sir.
MR. BROWN: Jesus!
It turned out Mr. Brown really was a 'real' Leatherface, so is this story about frat-house heroics leading to D.C....or about the macabre engagement with the real Leatherface? You decide. Happy Halloween,
====
"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)
