A personal note

[Ringel05]

I am curious about that. Signs of depression appear in most of us from time to time. Maybe it’s time to try some weed. (I like Scotch, but the whole “weight” thing is an impediment.)

I'm being serious. I lost my wife of 34 years to cancer Aug 10, 2020. I got to the point where I didn't want to go anywhere or do anything even cleaning around the house. I've started exercising, just a little (what I could safely handle) every other day, wasn't much at first but I'm doing more every week. I also found talking with the VA shrink allows me to open up about what I'm dealing with and that has helped tremendously. All those things that I looked at around the house and made excuses not to do are starting to get done. I have a long ways to go though.

 

[Ringel05]

Getting? Man, it is already here!

Mentally I still see myself as a twenty something......... Then I look in a mirror.........

 

[Concerned American]

It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of stuff. Maybe look at it this way. Every day you get is a gift. It sounds corny but it's true. The vast majority of people who have lived on this Earth are dead. We are the small group still hopping around on the sunny side. Make the most of every day.

Here, Here! I just read this quote by Earl Nightingale, "Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don't wait for something outside yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it's at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored."

 

[Concerned American]

Mentally I still see myself as a twenty something......... Then I look in a mirror.........

Heard a story about two old people sitting in a restaurant. One said to the other, "See those two old folks over there? That's us in 30 years." The other said, "Silly, that's a mirror you're looking at."

 

[BlackSand]

I'm being serious. I lost my wife of 34 years to cancer Aug 10, 2020. I got to the point where I didn't want to go anywhere or do anything even cleaning around the house. I've started exercising, just a little (what I could safely handle) every other day, wasn't much at first but I'm doing more every week. I also found talking with the VA shrink allows me to open up about what I'm dealing with and that has helped tremendously. All those things that I looked at around the house and made excuses not to do are starting to get done. I have a long ways to go though.

.

Sometimes the simple feeling of accomplishment is better than any drug.
As you shed the weight of a sedimentary lifestyle, you can find vigor that was hidden by complacency.

It is easier to do nothing, but not near as rewarding.

.​

 

[playtime]

Maybe it’s time to try some weed. (I like Scotch, but the whole “weight” thing is an impediment.)

try edibles - because you won't tend to get the munchies.

 

[BackAgain]

try edibles - because you won't tend to get the munchies.

That might be the right path. Thanks.

 

[playtime]

That might be the right path. Thanks.

it'll help destress you.

 

[Michelle420]

BackAgain religion helps me. Also staying close with my loved ones. I have the same concerns as you as I am now in my 50's and so my body has quirks that from time to time need fixing. I had 3 surgeries since September. At this phase in life, I have thought a lot about death, also in my family, I have had 3 suicides so I am always checking in on myself and my whole mental state. God helps me feel peace at times when I get afraid. I don't know if this is helpful or not but you asked so that's what I do.

I also have a medical cannabis card and that helps with depression if I dose it in moderation. Otherwise it makes you a lazy ass.

 

[g5000]

Lately, I am having very pronounced feelings of mortality. This is probably not some age-related sign of psychological problems. I’m not feeling morbid or “dangerously” depressed. Not feeling at all suicidal. But in the past few years I have had significant health related issues.

A few years back, a “silent” (?) heart attack was revealed during an EKG after a particularly bad day led to a trip to the ER. I’ve had high BP for a while and have fought many years worth of chronic pain. Made me too sedentary I think. = Weight gain. (My weight and my hi BP could be related.)

Then, more recently I got cancer. I got a late diagnosis, too. I got operated on and the got radiation zaps for the full course. (I think the zaps did a number on my system.) Not complaining about that, to be truthful. Just noting it. I’m always feeling pretty exhausted these days.

The good news is that it all worked. I am cancer-free. The time since then has involved some changes in my life; and I’m still in chronic pain and not getting any younger. (I think I left “middle age” behind. Spoiler alert: It turns out that youth IS wasted on the young.)

So far, I escaped COVID. But I did get the vax shots and the booster. Now, I’m feeling much more constantly aware of my ticker. I do have some depression now, too, although I think I’m keeping it in check. BUT all of this (combined) has me feeling like my clock is winding down.

I don’t dwell on death. But thoughts about it do infest more of my waking hours than they ever used to. And it has even crept into my dreams. So, now I’m wondering:

Who here believe that our minds tell us things about what’s going on with our health and with our very life? I’m not talking about “premonitions.” I’m more curious about a mind/body connection that (maybe?) serves to prepare us for the inevitable?

Or, am I just being morbid?

I have found exercise is the best mood elevator there is. Better than any pill. And it is good for your physical health, too!

Try going for walks each day. And a 20-minute aerobic workout is good. You don't have to over-exert to get the benefits.

Regular exercise can make you feel so good that you become obnoxious.

 

[skye]

Sending good thoughts to you. Have faith and don't despair.

Never forget the saying ....it's always darkest before dawn., dark times don't remain forever!

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

I know how ya feel.
My problem is I can no longer be active.
Went from being active into a forced sedentary life due to pain.
Having to take morphine a couple times a day doesnt help either but without it I cant get around at all.
I have one more surgery on my hip to go,this will be #6. I hope to God it ends the pain.
At 56 I'm way too young to young to consider becoming handicapped.

 

[Concerned American]

Otherwise it makes you a lazy ass.

Damn, and all this time, I thought I was born lazy. All I had to do is quit toking fifty years ago?

 

[Concerned American]

I know how ya feel.
My problem is I can no longer be active.
Went from being active into a forced sedentary life due to pain.
Having to take morphine a couple times a day doesnt help either but without it I cant get around at all.
I have one more surgery on my hip to go,this will be #6. I hope to God it ends the pain.
At 56 I'm way too young to young to consider becoming handicapped.

Good luck on #6. I feel for you.

 

[Coyote]

Lately, I am having very pronounced feelings of mortality. This is probably not some age-related sign of psychological problems. I’m not feeling morbid or “dangerously” depressed. Not feeling at all suicidal. But in the past few years I have had significant health related issues.

A few years back, a “silent” (?) heart attack was revealed during an EKG after a particularly bad day led to a trip to the ER. I’ve had high BP for a while and have fought many years worth of chronic pain. Made me too sedentary I think. = Weight gain. (My weight and my hi BP could be related.)

Then, more recently I got cancer. I got a late diagnosis, too. I got operated on and the got radiation zaps for the full course. (I think the zaps did a number on my system.) Not complaining about that, to be truthful. Just noting it. I’m always feeling pretty exhausted these days.

The good news is that it all worked. I am cancer-free. The time since then has involved some changes in my life; and I’m still in chronic pain and not getting any younger. (I think I left “middle age” behind. Spoiler alert: It turns out that youth IS wasted on the young.)

So far, I escaped COVID. But I did get the vax shots and the booster. Now, I’m feeling much more constantly aware of my ticker. I do have some depression now, too, although I think I’m keeping it in check. BUT all of this (combined) has me feeling like my clock is winding down.

I don’t dwell on death. But thoughts about it do infest more of my waking hours than they ever used to. And it has even crept into my dreams. So, now I’m wondering:

Who here believe that our minds tell us things about what’s going on with our health and with our very life? I’m not talking about “premonitions.” I’m more curious about a mind/body connection that (maybe?) serves to prepare us for the inevitable?

Or, am I just being morbid?

Lots of stuff there…and much of it grappling with our selves aging..I do think the mind has a way of bringing our unfocused worries into our conscious thoughts.

 

[BackAgain]

I know how ya feel.
My problem is I can no longer be active.
Went from being active into a forced sedentary life due to pain.
Having to take morphine a couple times a day doesnt help either but without it I cant get around at all.
I have one more surgery on my hip to go,this will be #6. I hope to God it ends the pain.
At 56 I'm way too young to young to consider becoming handicapped.

Sorry to hear that. My pain is constant but doesn’t involve a need for morphine. Kinda puts my situation into perspective.