A little political humor

[Jimmyeatworld]

Here's a good way to explain the differences between different beliefs using cows as an example.

SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it
to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage
his.


COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides
you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive
and sour.


FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you
the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage
which ultimately blows up the cows.

DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty
for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows,
forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people
you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to
your neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?

CAPITALIST: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a
herd of cows.

BUREAUCRAT: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots
one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down
the drain.

CORPORATE CEO: You have two cows. You sell one, lease
it back to yourself and do an IPO on the second one. You force the two
cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow
drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts that you have
reduced your expenses. Your stock goes up.