7 Ways You Can OWN Your Liberal Relatives At Thanksgiving This Year

Weatherman2020

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Deck your libby snowflake uncles and aunts with a left hook to the face when they’re not expecting it.


  1. Dress the turkey in a MAGA hat. Carefully dress the turkey. But not just like the regular kind of dressing: dress it in a MAGA hat. This is the very best kind of dressing, and it has the added benefit of triggering your stupid liberal nephew.

  2. Cosplay as President Trump. Dust off your authentic President Trump cosplay outfit and get ready to watch your lib relatives LITERALLY DIE when you open the door to greet them. Classic!

  3. Invite Ben Shapiro to speak. Imagine this: just as everyone's sitting down to a nice family meal without controversy, you dim the lights. You ask everyone to welcome this year's guest speaker: Ben freakin' Shapiro! As Ben begins to rattle off FACTS and LOGIC, you can kick back and polish off your turkey as your lib relatives' heads literally explode.

  4. Say a touching, heartfelt prayer for the meal, and then carve the turkey with an AR-15. After a moment of unity in prayer, pull down the cermonial AR-15 hanging above your kitchen sink and carve that turkey with a full magazine of ammo. That poor bird will never know what hit it!

  5. Loudly sing “God Bless America” as you welcome them into your home. When you open the door and they say, "Happy Thanksgiving!" just blast 'em with the entire song in the original language: AMERICAN.

  6. Whenever one of your libtard relatives expresses an emotion, jump all up in their face and shout, “FACTS DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS!” If someone says, "Man, I'm feeling tired" or "Boy, do I feel full!" stop what you're doing, leap across the room and tackle them. Then, when they're in a daze on the ground, shout, "FACTS DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, SNOWFLAKE!" They'll probably ask for a safe space after that, are we right or are we right?

  7. Hand out gift bags with a free assault rifle, a Bible, and a Trumpy Bear. As everyone's leaving your home, pass out some memorable gift bags. Their new assault rifle, Bible, and Trumpy Bear memorabilia will either melt their faces off or turn them into a real American at long last.
Well, looks like you got some preparation to do. Get out there and make Thanksgiving great again!


7 Ways You Can OWN Your Liberal Relatives At Thanksgiving This Year
 

Billy_Bob

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I am putting up my Christmas tree early this year and I have added about 20 MAGA red/white/blue bulbs and the Trump 2020 Keeping America Great bulb... Its going to be epic....
 

Pogo

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Dafuk is a "cosplay"? And who the fuck is Ben Shapiro?
 

BULLDOG

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Surprisingly, that is close to what happened 2 years ago. It's why there is a small get together at a restaurant for the crazy Trump supporters and the regular one for the rest of the family. The crazies are always welcome at the main get together, but they know they will have to leave when they start their crazy crap.
 

JGalt

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Owning my own liberal would nice. I'd put him right out front, in the lawn.

 

Pogo

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Surprisingly, that is close to what happened 2 years ago. It's why there is a small get together at a restaurant for the crazy Trump supporters and the regular one for the rest of the family. The crazies are always welcome at the main get together, but they know they will have to leave when they start their crazy crap.
Just show 'em this. That oughta generate a long pregnant pause at the least.
 

mamooth

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We only have two conservative relatives. They've tried a few times to babble kooky talking points like the OP, but they were gently shown the error of their ways. Lacking the ability to get a rise out of the normal people, and feeling a bit put out that their talking points were so easily debunked, they've ceased such nonsense.

Needless to say, we liberals never talk politics at Thanksgiving, at least not unless the conservatives bring it up. It's fine to humiliate the conservatives here, but you don't want to do it to family.
 

JGalt

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Owning my own liberal would nice. I'd put him right out front, in the lawn.

I have a Liberal right here in my pocket. Wanna see?

Don't lie. The only thing you have in your pockets are holes. Hell, if you didn't have those holes in your pockets, you wouldn't have anything to play with for Christmas.
 

Defiant1

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The best way is just not to allow leftard liberals in your house or on your property.

Works for me.
 

mamooth

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Don't lie. The only thing you have in your pockets are holes. Hell, if you didn't have those holes in your pockets, you wouldn't have anything to play with for Christmas.
No reason to get so upset. Unless you're one of the crazy conservative relatives that nobody wants around.

That seems to be the case with a lot of Trump cultists here.
 

Billy_Kinetta

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There are no Progressives in my extended family who I can own. The few that once were are dead.
 

JGalt

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The best way is just not to allow leftard liberals in your house or on your property.

Works for me.
I took it even farther than that: I don't have anything to do with them, and don't patronize their businesses.

Liberals are scum.
 

JGalt

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Don't lie. The only thing you have in your pockets are holes. Hell, if you didn't have those holes in your pockets, you wouldn't have anything to play with for Christmas.
No reason to get so upset. Unless you're one of the crazy conservative relatives that nobody wants around.

That seems to be the case with a lot of Trump cultists here.
All my friends and relatives are deplorable right-wingers. You should see when we get together, it sounds like WW3 out back of the house at the gun range.

You'd probably shit yer britches.
 

Defiant1

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The best way is just not to allow leftard liberals in your house or on your property.

Works for me.
I took it even farther than that: I don't have anything to do with them, and don't patronize their businesses.

Liberals are scum.
I don't either. I don't even answer the phone. If they call and my is in the shower of outside, I just let it ring.
And they call every fucking day.
 

Pogo

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The best way is just not to allow leftard liberals in your house or on your property.

Works for me.
I took it even farther than that: I don't have anything to do with them, and don't patronize their businesses.

Liberals are scum.
I don't either. I don't even answer the phone. If they call and my is in the shower of outside, I just let it ring.
And they call every fucking day.
What language was this Google Translated from? Just curious about the shower of outside.
Meteor shower? :dunno:
 

MisterBeale

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We only have two conservative relatives. They've tried a few times to babble kooky talking points like the OP, but they were gently shown the error of their ways. Lacking the ability to get a rise out of the normal people, and feeling a bit put out that their talking points were so easily debunked, they've ceased such nonsense.

Needless to say, we liberals never talk politics at Thanksgiving, at least not unless the conservatives bring it up. It's fine to humiliate the conservatives here, but you don't want to do it to family.
This is actually true.

I have the most purple family on the planet.

Irish Catholics tend to intermarry with Jews, and in a family like that?

There is a really diverse spectrum of opinion.

On top of that, the matriarch is still alive, and she pretty much forbids political talk. She was a New Deal liberal, but for the first time in her life, did not even bother to vote, she knew who the hell Hillary was.

Nobody talks about politics around this sharp as a tack 98 year old woman, out of respect, and terror. :ack-1:

:71:
 

Defiant1

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The best way is just not to allow leftard liberals in your house or on your property.

Works for me.
I took it even farther than that: I don't have anything to do with them, and don't patronize their businesses.

Liberals are scum.
I don't either. I don't even answer the phone. If they call and my is in the shower of outside, I just let it ring.
And they call every fucking day.
What language was this Google Translated from? Just curious about the shower of outside.
Meteor shower? :dunno:
of= or

Smart ass
 

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