11 days since Greta died...

[Kooshdakhaa]

My sweet Greta died on January 4. I had to take her to pet emergency because she was having heart failure. She had been on meds for her dilated cardiomyopathy for the past couple months and was doing good...then suddenly, she had the worst attack ever. They tried to save her but said there was nothing more they could do (I wonder about that). I couldn't bear to see her suffer, I couldn't bring her home suffering like that, all she could was try to breath, she wouldn't look at me or anything, just struggle to breath. So I had them put her to sleep...the vet said that's what she would do if it was her dog.

I've been crying ever since, some days all day long to varying degrees. I've lost 7 1/2 pounds. And now I've gotten sick with a bad cold. I read that grieving can weaken the immune system. Actually being sick is good, feeling miserable kind of distracts me from my grief.

Everything seems so meaningless and empty without her. And I have four other dogs and six cats. But she was the light of the world. The soul of our home. It's just a dead place now. I just plod along putting one foot in front of the other. Feeling numb is the best I can feel.

This was a special, special dog. I should say special being, because she wasn't just special among dogs, she was special among all beings.

She was my comfort in life. So how do I find comfort when the comforter in my life is gone?

 

[Mr. H.]

That's really sad.

I don't think your pup would want you to bum out so badly.

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

Sweet Greta, at one of her favorite places.

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

That's really sad.

I don't think your pup would want you to bum out so badly.

I don't think she'd want me to be so sad, either. She would take action to comfort me if she was here. But, of course, she's not here. If she was she'd act like a clown and do something to make me laugh and I'd say, "Greta, don't make me laugh!!! I'm depressed!" She certainly has done that in the past, but my depression was not as serious as this.

When my dad died in 2009 I didn't grieve like this. But my dad didn't live with me and years would go by between seeing him. Greta has been with me since she was six weeks and one day old, she died when she was 10 years and 10 weeks old. We were never apart a single night in all that time. So she leaves a huge, gaping hole.

Life is just so...bleak. I suppose time will help heal this, but I will never stop missing her.

I've often thought she was my soul mate, reincarnated for a while to spend time with me. And I like to think we'll meet again, but the intellectual in me wonders if that isn't all just a bunch of b.s. I mean, seriously. Mankind has such a problem with dying that we've invented all these explanations about why we don't just flat out die and that's the end of us. I would like to totally delude myself that she's waiting at the Rainbow Bridge, and oh wow, that WOULD be awesome! But once again, that's just an invention by people trying to cope with grief.

 

[AquaAthena]

Sweet Greta, at one of her favorite places.

She IS a noble looking girl. I am so very sorry for your loss. Only time can help to recover. Time and positive memories. I like to think of how our 4-pawed loved ones, treasured us and the good life we provided them. They were happy, because of us. Everybody won. But your grief is inconsolable at this point in time. Just know that others are feeling you pain, and are with you, in spirit. I know how it hurts and how empty you are feeling.

Love to the memory of Greta.

 

[Gracie]

There is no stronger bond than that of a dog. I know your pain. I know your emptiness. 6 months ago yesterday...it has been 6 long months since Gracie passed. I still cry every day for her.

I'm so sorry Koosh. I hope Greta and Gracie met on the other side of rainbow bridge and immediately became friends.

I won't tell you to try not to grieve. I WILL say that if you hold real still and ask her to come to you..she will. Eventually. She is in a better place, hon. That is what I tell myself every day. Sometimes it works, but rarely. I am still waiting for a sign from Gracie she is ok although I know she is. Maybe she is too busy playing with Greta. I will continue to wait.

And I still wish I could have gone with her.

Hugs.

 

[Gracie]

So how do I find comfort when the comforter in my life is gone?

Keep plodding on and find comfort that she loved you, you loved her, and although you may not see or feel or hear her...she is still there with you.

 

[strollingbones]

do right by her....spread that dog love.....not today .....but when you feel you can....

 

[strollingbones]

i am sorry....it is so hard

 

[April]

Oh wow Koosh...so sorry.

As Gracie said...she's not gone but in body...her spirit will always be with you.

 

[Sallow]

Sweet Greta, at one of her favorite places.

Such a beauty.

You were very lucky.

I am sorry for your loss.

Treasure your time with her. I am sure she had a wonderful life.

 

[kiwiman127]

Sorry for your loss.
We had to put down our family dog five weeks ago. I find myself missing Bud and I too get really sad. He was an important part of our family and our lives.
I have convinced myself that Bud's spirit lives on, in my heart. That way, Bud is always with me. It has helped me a lot.
A friend of mine posted this poem on Facebook. It made me sad after I read it at first but the more I thought about it the better I felt. I hope it helps you.

I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying...you found it hard to sleep.
I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear.
"It's me, I haven't left you...I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea.
You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me.
I was with you at the shops today, your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today, you tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you that I am not lying there.
I walked with you toward the house, as you fumbled for your key,
I gently put my paw on you. I smiled and said, "It's me."
You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know that I was standing there.
It's possible for me to be so near you every day.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew...
In the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
The day is over...I smile and watch you yawning
And say, "Goodnight, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we will stand, side-by-side.
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out...then come home to be with me.

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

When she died I told my husband that I wanted to go with her. He said, "Hannah needs you! You have to take care of Hannah!" Hannah is my other doberman and she is Greta's half-sister. They have the same father, different mothers. Hannah is about 10 months younger than Greta.

And he's right...Hannah does need me. So do my other animals, but Hannah in particular. I've had her since she was only six weeks old, also.

In fact, she just gave me quite a start. I was in the kitchen washing a pan, and I was crying and talking out loud to Greta, telling her I'm sorry. Suddenly, Hannah came running around the corner. And for just a moment, just one precious moment, I thought it was Greta. It was an amazing moment. It was like Greta was back for just that one moment.

Thank you, Hannah, for that gift...and I know that you are your own being and you are not Greta. But you share Greta's bloodline and if anyone can comfort me, it will be you. Sweet Hannah, she misses Greta too. Her alpha older sister, and although they had their spats, I know that Hannah relied on Greta for comfort and a sense of safety...just like I did.

 

[Katzndogz]

My sweet Greta died on January 4. I had to take her to pet emergency because she was having heart failure. She had been on meds for her dilated cardiomyopathy for the past couple months and was doing good...then suddenly, she had the worst attack ever. They tried to save her but said there was nothing more they could do (I wonder about that). I couldn't bear to see her suffer, I couldn't bring her home suffering like that, all she could was try to breath, she wouldn't look at me or anything, just struggle to breath. So I had them put her to sleep...the vet said that's what she would do if it was her dog.

I've been crying ever since, some days all day long to varying degrees. I've lost 7 1/2 pounds. And now I've gotten sick with a bad cold. I read that grieving can weaken the immune system. Actually being sick is good, feeling miserable kind of distracts me from my grief.

Everything seems so meaningless and empty without her. And I have four other dogs and six cats. But she was the light of the world. The soul of our home. It's just a dead place now. I just plod along putting one foot in front of the other. Feeling numb is the best I can feel.

This was a special, special dog. I should say special being, because she wasn't just special among dogs, she was special among all beings.

She was my comfort in life. So how do I find comfort when the comforter in my life is gone?

You have been blessed simply by knowing a person like Greta. There are animals that are so special, they come along so seldom, that their light would be gone too soon if they lived to be 100. Greta is that kind of person, a fur person, but a person nonetheless. Think of your other family members, those with fur are hurting no less than you are and need your comfort. Animals grieve and they grieve for one another just as much as we grieve for them.

My beloved Courtney was an animal like that, a cat with a pure soul. As much as I wanted him with me, I had to recognize that his time had come and prolonging his suffering was just a selfish act on my part. I had him put to sleep, likely just hours before God would have taken him anyway. For an animal that had never caused another living thing a moment of pain, I could not see him in pain. I did the right thing and you too did the right thing, the unselfish thing. The thing that put Greta first. Being unselfish is always going to hurt, it is a conscious choice to deprive ourselves of what we want most in the world for the benefit of our most loved ones.

I hope that you one day decide to honor Greta's memory by saving a life that would have been lost. There are animals that you can help, that you can love and you can do it in memory of Greta and all that she meant to you.

 

[Gracie]

Greta came to you FAST. Through Hannah.
I have never seen a daffodil in real life. Pics, yes. Nurserys, no. Not even in peoples yards. Soon after Gracie died...a single yellow daffodil grew up from a pot that had other plants in it. That one bloom lasted a month. 30 days it stayed there. Then it faded away. That may have been my sign from Gracie. I don't know. But I still wait...just in case.

[/IMG]

 

[Wolfsister77]

So sorry for your loss and your pain. About a year and a half ago we lost both our dogs to cancer only 4 months apart. They were like family and it took awhile to get through it. The part that helped was the memories of the good times and time. We've since gotten new dogs and they do their best to help us in the only way they can-with companionship and devotion-typical dogs.

It will take time but you'll get there. Take care of your other pets and take care of yourself. Greta would not want you to make yourself sick. No loving dog would.

~Peace

 

[Mojo2]

My sweet Greta died on January 4. I had to take her to pet emergency because she was having heart failure. She had been on meds for her dilated cardiomyopathy for the past couple months and was doing good...then suddenly, she had the worst attack ever. They tried to save her but said there was nothing more they could do (I wonder about that). I couldn't bear to see her suffer, I couldn't bring her home suffering like that, all she could was try to breath, she wouldn't look at me or anything, just struggle to breath. So I had them put her to sleep...the vet said that's what she would do if it was her dog.

I've been crying ever since, some days all day long to varying degrees. I've lost 7 1/2 pounds. And now I've gotten sick with a bad cold. I read that grieving can weaken the immune system. Actually being sick is good, feeling miserable kind of distracts me from my grief.

Everything seems so meaningless and empty without her. And I have four other dogs and six cats. But she was the light of the world. The soul of our home. It's just a dead place now. I just plod along putting one foot in front of the other. Feeling numb is the best I can feel.

This was a special, special dog. I should say special being, because she wasn't just special among dogs, she was special among all beings.

She was my comfort in life. So how do I find comfort when the comforter in my life is gone?

Sweet Greta, at one of her favorite places.

I don't allow myself the joy of loving a pet because of the inevitable pain that comes at the conclusion of its life.

Too much for me to bear.

She was a beautiful girl.

My heart goes out to you.

 

[percysunshine]

.....

This was a special, special dog. I should say special being, because she wasn't just special among dogs, she was special among all beings.

She was my comfort in life. So how do I find comfort when the comforter in my life is gone?

New puppy time....that is the only option.

I have been through many pet life cycles, lovely companions. The heart softens when a new puppy breaths that stinky skunk breath on my face.

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

I have wondered if I will ever have another puppy. My job has moved clear across town and it's not really feasible to come home at lunch. I work through my lunch hour, but still, I'm gone nearly 9 hours Monday through Friday.

When I raised Greta and Hannah, my work was right across the street from my house. I went over at lunchtime to check on them, and had a baby monitor that reached so if I heard anything going on I could run over and check throughout the day.

I can't imagine leaving a new puppy for almost nine hours. I mean, I could set up a space with separate puppy pad area and sleeping/eating area...I certainly wouldn't keep the pup in a small kennel where if they pooped and peed they've have to live in it! But I just can't imagine leaving them alone that long. The other dogs would be around, but they wouldn't be in the puppy's pen, you know? But housebreaking would be a challenge when the pup was allowed to poop and pee inside all day, and then understand that they're not supposed to do that.

I don't think the time is right. I'd be trying to make the pup be Greta. A Greta replacement. No one can replace Greta. Such expectations wouldn't be fair to the pup, either.

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

I don't allow myself the joy of loving a pet because of the inevitable pain that comes at the conclusion of its life.

Mojo2, right now I know exactly what you mean.