The Tower of Babel

jla1178 · #1 (**permalink**) 08-20-2008, 12:20 PM

And it came to pass that Cush, son of Ham, returned home in the evening. He entered his home as his wife called all to supper. Verily, he followed the call and did mark well dodging his son running helter-skelter toward the kitchen.
"Whoa," he said, "Watch where you're going, you little nimrod. That's what I'm going to start calling you from now on. . ."

NIMROD
(AKA: "The Tower of Babel")

So it was that Nimrod grew and became a mighty hunter whom some called Orion. In time, he led his people to Shinar where they settled and built a city and planted and enjoyed the fruits of their toil. It came to pass that Nimrod sat on a hill one day sharing a hookah with a friend.
They did look out across and did marvel at its great expanse. They felt a need to fill it with something though they knew not what. One suggestion for this desert community was an ice skating rink. Nimrod did suggest a ziggurat but his friend refused citing that he did not smoke. Nimrod did correct him.
He meant a tower. His friend was inspired with a vision of one that reached to the sky. Nimrod thought on a bigger scale and suggested one that reached all the way to Heaven. The friend was much pleased with this thought and imagined it having what he described as a "totally awesome stairway".
"A stairway to Heaven," Nimrod replied.
"Dude!"
Verily, the more they spoke of it, the more they liked the idea. They did set about ironing out the details. Plans were made to put a gameroom on top even with a foosball table and a means for lifting people that didn't want to or could not climb the stairs.
"And best of all. . . ," Nimrod started.
"Hangin' with the Lord," they finished together.
And so it was that they did begin the job of gathering the people together for the project. Verily, God did look upon this scene. Gabriel did look upon it and had some reservations toward it. He did voice his concerns unto The Lord.
"If they build that ziggurat all the way up here, you can bet there will be people in and out of Heaven 24-7. And just try and keep anything in the fridge."
"Hadn't thought of that," God said thoughtfully, "I'd better do something."
The people did mass on the plain bearing tools and materials ready to go to work. God analyzed the situation and decided the best course of action. He did reach out his hand and did confuse their tongues so that one could not understand the other.
"Mon Dieu! Je parlez Francais! ZUT," one man said.
"ZUT! ZUT! ZUT," others interjected.
"Damn," Nimrod said disappointedly, "there goes the foosball table."
"Si."
God did scatter them across the land.

SO ENDS THE STORY OF NIMROD