Faster than a Liberal's wanting for changes...
More powerful than a Moderate's common sense...
Able to leap contradictions, within a conservate's views, in a single bound...
It a bird, it's a plane, It's HYLANDMAN!!! :dev1:
Using his factual powers and his "Blazing Sword of Bluntness", Hylandman fights for Truth, Justice and the last slice of the American Pie!
Tonight episode: The Tracfone Connection: Hylandman vs Blah-Blah Man.
It was a nice day in the big city; mild mannered hylandrdet was sitting at home watching his TIVO recording of "Lost" when he heard a scream! It was his girfriend! She came into his house complaining about the cell phone bill her oldest son had ran up... over $400!!!
She tells him that everytime he comes home from his college breaks, he uses her cell phone like it was his. He calls his girlfriend :blah2:;his other friends :blah2:; his "other" girlfriend :blah2:; etc, etc, etc.
"That fiend!", hylandrdet says to himself; "It's Blah-Blah Man!".
She ask'ed hylandrdet for help and he knew what to do...
SHAAAZZAAM!!!
:dev1:
HYLANDMAN!!!
Hylandman flies over to his girlfriend's house to confront Blah-Blah Man. He fires a "factual beam" at him reminding him that his mother is not made of money. Blah-Blah Man fires back with his "anger ray" saying that hylandman is not his father!
Hylandman had no choice... "FORM BLAZING SWORD OF BLUNTNESS!!!"
:splat:
"Look, little man! I'm am not your father and never will be! Why? Because I will never get drunk every night, slap you and your mother around, then tell you that you deserve it! However, I will tell you that your financial abuse of your mother, is more mentally damaging, than anything that "thing" you call your "father" had ever done.
So my question is this... Do you feel like a real man, knowing that your mother is crying herself to sleep every night, trying to figure out how she can afford you?!"
Blah-Blah Man surrenders without a defense.
He'd agreed to work for the mild mannered hylandrdet during his college break, in order to pay off that cell phone bill. In exchange, Hylandrdet gave Blah-Blah Man a tracfone, a pre-pay cell phone that'll allow him to buy his own minutes, with the basic local and long distances services included.
Hylandrdet instructed his girlfriend to buy the tracfone redemption cards for him, but only if he meets her academic requirements; He'd also asked her to keep him informed on his performance; if He's impressed, He'll buy a 200 minute card for him.
Since the agreement, the young man was happy, his grades were up and he'd dumped his "other" girlfriend, citing that she was "wasting his money"
All of this thanks to Hylandman!!! :dev1:
Four tips from this story
1. If you believe that it is possible to raise your children, without physical discipline, then you must accept the responsibilities that comes with it. Be firm and in control in what you say and do, to your child, AT ALL TIMES.
2. Come up with a gameplan that mentally forces your kids to learn to earn their keep. Make sure that everytime they exceed your goals, you reward them well.
3. Keep track of the residual effects of the "rewards"; so that you are in position to "pull that chain", when you think they have an opportunity to "escape".
4. Make sure that your goal is to establish a friendly form of respect between you and your child!
Oh, by the way, my shameless plug; I do endorse the tracfone technique; it's a great way to teach young teens financial responsibility, by having their phone privilages FEEL as if they have some control over their own lives.
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