You Must Be A Liberal If...

[Adam's Apple]

Pretty good summary.

You Must Be a Liberal If...
By Dave Weinbaum

I must admit, I’ve been surprised by the amount of vitriol coming from supposedly intelligent rational people when it comes to what they believe about our world and how we should live and govern.

They seethe when talking about President George W. Bush. Their hate for him is inexplicable.

Those people are known as Liberals, or as some refer to themselves,
“Progressives.”

Below are traits of the above. You can believe in one or two, but if you identify with 3 or more you get the Liberal medal around your neck or as I look at it, the albatross.

You must be a liberal:

If you voted for the Iraq war when it was the popular thing to do, then claim you were hypnotized by Bush’s “lies” when it became unpopular.

If you say Bush is “dumb” even after he beat you in two elections you were positive you would win.

If you believe your Democrat controlled congress should spend it’s time
investigating and impeaching the president in wartime even though there’s no
evidence of any crimes.

If you hate Dubya more than you love America.

If your idea of free speech is to shut down talk radio.

If you don’t want profiling for terrorists even though evidence is overwhelming that most are Middle Easterners.

If you think personal attacks will ingratiate you to the voters.

If you think the war on terror has nothing to do with the war in Iraq.

If you think that more than ½ of the country is brain dead because they aren’t in lockstep with everything you’re sure is right.

If you’re for abortion but against the death penalty.

If you voted for General Patraeus and the surge, then call it a failure well before he had the troops needed to perform it.

If you think capitalism should be replaced by Socialism, despite hundreds of
years of evidence that our economy is number 1 in the world.

If you think we have to dumb down our economy because of the man-made global warming scam.

If you think it’s our fault terrorists attacked us.

If you think everything will be “hunky dory” if we just talk to the terrorists.

If you think the war on terror is just a bumper sticker.

If you like higher taxes, when all evidence shows that lower taxes
benefits everyone.

If you think all American corporations are evil.

If you think government can end poverty.

If you think you can’t have a view about foreign policy if you haven’t served in the military…that is…unless its’ your opinion.

If you believe there is no liberal bias in the media.

If you believe there’s a vast right-wing conspiracy.

If you believe George Bush had the levies blown up in New Orleans.

If you equate Republicans with Nazis.

If you believe Bill Clinton was impeached for covering up sex.

And finally, you’re stunned and dismayed that fellow Liberals, Michael E.
O’Hanlon and Kenneth M. Pollack, are claiming they see success in Iraq , via their article entitled “A War We Just Might Win.”

http://www.daveweinbaum.com/columns.html

 

[Diuretic]

If you think the war on terror has nothing to do with the war in Iraq.

It was bullshit up until I read that line and then I just cracked up, couldn't read any more. How can these dumb bastards even manipulate a keyboard?

 

[Bullypulpit]

It was bullshit up until I read that line and then I just cracked up, couldn't read any more. How can these dumb bastards even manipulate a keyboard?

Nah...It's still all bullshit.

 

[Vintij]

Its just comical rhertoric designed to get a laugh. Though its not very funny because that really is the closed minded view that conservatives have of all liberals no matter how far left they are.

Most of this is bullshit as well, not a shred of something that resembles a fact.

Not to mention its Dave Weinbaum, he carries about as much political weight as RSR. Paris Hilton is taken more serious than this guy.

 

[Truthmatters]

Who is this AA clown?

I think he needs a trip to AA.

 

[RetiredGySgt]

Its just comical rhertoric designed to get a laugh. Though its not very funny because that really is the closed minded view that conservatives have of all liberals no matter how far left they are.

Most of this is bullshit as well, not a shred of something that resembles a fact.

Not to mention its Dave Weinbaum, he carries about as much political weight as RSR. Paris Hilton is taken more serious than this guy.

Unlike the closed minded drivel Liberals spout about mindless republican conservative drones? It is not conservatives that claim liberals are some how less intelligent genetically then Conservatives. It is not Conservatives that coined the term " fly over" country. And the list is endless. But do enlighten us morons and inbred mongoloids that are keeping you out of power.

 

[Diuretic]

It's not even funny. It is devoid of wit. It dribbles.

 

[Truthmatters]

Not one of the things mentioned by this clown are what Dems believe.

 

[RetiredGySgt]

Not one of the things mentioned by this clown are what Dems believe.

Partisan drivel at its finest.

 

[Vintij]

Unlike the closed minded drivel Liberals spout about mindless republican conservative drones? It is not conservatives that claim liberals are some how less intelligent genetically then Conservatives. It is not Conservatives that coined the term " fly over" country. And the list is endless. But do enlighten us morons and inbred mongoloids that are keeping you out of power.

I think your getting a bit out of context here. Those claims you made are not backed up by proof, they are just your opinions of what is going on in the minds of so called stereotypical "liberals". I certainly did not coin that term, I have never even heard that term. I never claimed conservatives are less intelligent than liberals, though I do claim that anyone who believes the earth is 6,000 years old, is less intelligent than me. That may not apply to you or all conservatives, it does'nt have to.

Inbred? I dont know where you got that, inbreeding is usually something that happens in the very rural south and if inbreeding is going on....we dont have to worry about them having anything to say politically. Those people usually dont vote, statistically that is.


Something that conservatives did coin though is "cut and run"....."anti-americans"...."elitists"...."spineless party"......"Secularists" ....."stay the course"....."war on terrorism"....."axis of evil"......And the list goes on and on. One liners are not a subject that republicans should bring up.

Jerry fallwell, political/christian leader and supporter of the conservative christian movement.

"The idea that religion and politics don't mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country."

"AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals. To oppose it would be like an Israelite jumping in the Red Sea to save one of Pharaoh's charioteers ... AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals."

"Billy Graham is the chief servant of Satan in America."

I dont know any liberal, who is as off the reservation as people like this. And jerry is not the only one.

 

[RetiredGySgt]

I think your getting a bit out of context here. Those claims you made are not backed up by proof, they are just your opinions of what is going on in the minds of so called stereotypical "liberals". I certainly did not coin that term, I have never even heard that term. I never claimed conservatives are less intelligent than liberals, though I do claim that anyone who believes the earth is 6,000 years old, is less intelligent than me. That may not apply to you or all conservatives, it does'nt have to.

Inbred? I dont know where you got that, inbreeding is usually something that happens in the very rural south and if inbreeding is going on....we dont have to worry about them having anything to say politically. Those people usually dont vote, statistically that is.


Something that conservatives did coin though is "cut and run"....."anti-americans"...."elitists"...."spineless party"......"Secularists" ....."stay the course"....."war on terrorism"....."axis of evil"......And the list goes on and on. One liners are not a subject that republicans should bring up.

Isn't it amazing that liberals never want to own what they are? They are always trying to pretend "someone" else did that, believes that or said that. And the true liberal usually claims they are moderate. Which would make real moderates way to the right if it were true.

It doesn't bother me in the least to say Openly I am a Conservative. I wonder why liberals can't openly claim their own political belief system?

And isn't it cute how you don't claim anything but manage to paint conservatives as religious zealots and stupid. Par for the course.

It should tell you something when a lot of the people that believe what you do can't even admit it in public.

 

[mattskramer]

Pretty good summary.

You Must Be a Liberal If...
By Dave Weinbaum

http://www.daveweinbaum.com/columns.html

Ha ha ha. Here is the flip side.

You might be a conservative if...You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.

You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two."

You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.

You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"

You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.

You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.

You think Huey Newton is a cookie.

The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.

You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.

You once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie.

You call mall rent-a-cops "jack-booted thugs."

You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.

You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of bitches."

You've ever said, "I can't wait to get into business school."

You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Tootsie."

You answer to "The Man."

You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.

You fax the FBI a list of "Commies in my Neighborhood."

You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you suspect Bert and Ernie of "sexual deviance."

You use any of these terms to describe your wife: Old ball and chain, little woman, old lady, tax credit...

You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.

You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values."

When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho."

You've ever yelled, "Hey hippie, get a haircut."

You think Birkenstok was that radical rock concert in 1969.

You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.

Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you.

You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America.

You've ever said "civil liberties, schmivil schmiberties."

You've ever said "Clean air? Looks clean to me."

You've ever referred to Anita Hill as a "lying bitch" while attending a Bob Packwood fund-raiser.

You spent MLK Day reading "The Bell Curve."

You've ever called education a luxury.

You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.

You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.

You came of age in the '60s and don't remember Bob Dylan.

You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.

You're afraid of the "liberal media."

You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates...."

You've ever called the National Endowment for the Arts a bunch of pornographers.

You think all artists are gay.

You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."

You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes.

You confuse Lenin with Lennon.

http://meyerweb.com/other/humor/conservative.html

 

[Truthmatters]

Partisan drivel at its finest.

Why is it you think you get to deside what I and others believe?

Are you really this delusional?

You defend everything Bush does ,that is not me making it up its the facts of what you do.

What this guy says is NOT what any Dem I know believes.

You can lie and say it is ,it doesnt make you right it just makes you a liar.

 

[RetiredGySgt]

Why is it you think you get to deside what I and others believe?

Are you really this delusional?

You defend everything Bush does ,that is not me making it up its the facts of what you do.

What this guy says is NOT what any Dem I know believes.

You can lie and say it is ,it doesnt make you right it just makes you a liar.

I do not defend Bush, I defend the Presidential power that exists. You on the other hand can not even provide one shred of evidence for your numerous claims of nefarious activity by Bush. None. It is not my job to prove a negative. You make the claim, you provide the evidence.

As to Presidential power and Executive Privalege, that has been demonstrated to exist since our FIRST President over 200 years ago. You do not want our Government listening to terrorists with out a warrent but you would gladly break every law and regulation on the books to accuse Bush of anything and every thing.

 

[Truthmatters]

http://writ.news.findlaw.com/dorf/20020206.html

study up on it

 

[Truthmatters]

where you just as addament about defendign Clinton?

face your self in the mirror.

 

[RetiredGySgt]

http://writ.news.findlaw.com/dorf/20020206.html

study up on it

Study up on what? Cheney was never forced by a court to provide the names as I recall. In fact it would strength the claim of the process that the executive has. More importantly the precedent was set not by Cheney BUT by Hillary Clinton, the First Lady.

I suggest YOU study up on it.

You really need to proof read and understand your claimed sources.

 

[Truthmatters]

Nonetheless, the Justices concluded that the executive privilege is not absolute. Where the President asserts only a generalized need for confidentiality, the privilege must yield to the interests of the government and defendants in a criminal prosecution. Accordingly, the Court ordered President Nixon to divulge the tapes and records. Two weeks after the Court's decision, Nixon complied with the order. Four days after that, he resigned.

http://writ.news.findlaw.com/dorf/20020206.html

 

[RetiredGySgt]

where you just as addament about defendign Clinton?

face your self in the mirror.

Clinton exerted the same right as Bush. So ya I would say it proves MY point, not yours. Further rather than a fishing expedition the Special prosecutor in that case had a specific LEGAL mandate from Congress and the Judiciary. I repeat, get Congress to use the Courts, or are you afraid of the result of that?

 

[RetiredGySgt]

Nonetheless, the Justices concluded that the executive privilege is not absolute. Where the President asserts only a generalized need for confidentiality, the privilege must yield to the interests of the government and defendants in a criminal prosecution. Accordingly, the Court ordered President Nixon to divulge the tapes and records. Two weeks after the Court's decision, Nixon complied with the order. Four days after that, he resigned.

http://writ.news.findlaw.com/dorf/20020206.html

Again, we get to the point.... THE COURTS not Congress made the legal decision. Take it to COURT.