If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH." You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers. The Terminator is your governor. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.