You Just Can't Raise a Post-Racial Child

[Cecilie1200]

My children are all members of a multi-racial family, obviously, since their father is half-Chinese, and various other relatives are black, Cherokee, Korean, Vietnamese, and Mexican. Although they are, obviously, aware of these racial and ethnic facts, it has been literally in the same sense that they're aware of some of their relatives have brown eyes, some blue, and some green.

In fact, my teenaged son was twelve before he ever encountered the concept of racism at all (we were aided in this by the fact that he was homeschooled, and all his extra-familial contacts were with our own friends, who obviously aren't going to be racists). I remember we were watching "Flags of Our Fathers", and he was utterly bewildered about why everyone was being so mean to the Native American guy. The movie doesn't explain WHY people automatically disliked and abused him, because the writers assumed everyone watching knew and understood about the concept of racism. Nicky didn't, though. I had to explain to him how Native Americans were viewed in the 1940s, and why, and while I did, he stared at me as though I had lost my mind. It was as bewildering to him AFTER he knew what racism was as it had been before.

Bearing this background in mind, Nicky got in a fight with another student at his school late last week., because the other student started making racist remarks and insults at Nicky about his Asian blood. Nicky reported it to the teacher, as he's supposed to do, and for some odd reason, her response was to say, "You boys need to settle down and behave yourselves"! Of course, the other boy didn't, and when Nicky started to get angry and told him to knock it off, he hit Nicky and they wound up in a fight.

The upshot being that the school has a "zero tolerance" policy for violence (although not for racism, apparently), and I have to transfer Nicky to a new school. That the policy applied to both boys doesn't make me any less annoyed. And yes, for anyone who's going to ask, I have filed a formal complaint about the teacher's pathetic handling of the situation.

So our new policy in our family, which I really hate, is that if and when this situation comes up again (because it will; there are still too many ignorant savages in the world), Nicky is to report it SPECIFICALLY in these terms: "So-and-so is making RACIST remarks to me." If the offender is not then IMMEDIATELY removed to the office to be dealt with, Nicky is to call or text me THAT INSTANT, at which point I will call the school, have Nicky brought to the office to meet me, and proceed to rip someone a brand-new Civil Rights asshole.

I resent like hell having gone to so much trouble to create an environment which allows me to raise post-racial children, only to be forced to teach them the language and attitudes of racism ANYWAY. I will be mightily glad when the rest of the country gets past this Neanderthal fixation on such silly shit.

 

[Lonestar_logic]

My children are all members of a multi-racial family, obviously, since their father is half-Chinese, and various other relatives are black, Cherokee, Korean, Vietnamese, and Mexican. Although they are, obviously, aware of these racial and ethnic facts, it has been literally in the same sense that they're aware of some of their relatives have brown eyes, some blue, and some green.

In fact, my teenaged son was twelve before he ever encountered the concept of racism at all (we were aided in this by the fact that he was homeschooled, and all his extra-familial contacts were with our own friends, who obviously aren't going to be racists). I remember we were watching "Flags of Our Fathers", and he was utterly bewildered about why everyone was being so mean to the Native American guy. The movie doesn't explain WHY people automatically disliked and abused him, because the writers assumed everyone watching knew and understood about the concept of racism. Nicky didn't, though. I had to explain to him how Native Americans were viewed in the 1940s, and why, and while I did, he stared at me as though I had lost my mind. It was as bewildering to him AFTER he knew what racism was as it had been before.

Bearing this background in mind, Nicky got in a fight with another student at his school late last week., because the other student started making racist remarks and insults at Nicky about his Asian blood. Nicky reported it to the teacher, as he's supposed to do, and for some odd reason, her response was to say, "You boys need to settle down and behave yourselves"! Of course, the other boy didn't, and when Nicky started to get angry and told him to knock it off, he hit Nicky and they wound up in a fight.

The upshot being that the school has a "zero tolerance" policy for violence (although not for racism, apparently), and I have to transfer Nicky to a new school. That the policy applied to both boys doesn't make me any less annoyed. And yes, for anyone who's going to ask, I have filed a formal complaint about the teacher's pathetic handling of the situation.

So our new policy in our family, which I really hate, is that if and when this situation comes up again (because it will; there are still too many ignorant savages in the world), Nicky is to report it SPECIFICALLY in these terms: "So-and-so is making RACIST remarks to me." If the offender is not then IMMEDIATELY removed to the office to be dealt with, Nicky is to call or text me THAT INSTANT, at which point I will call the school, have Nicky brought to the office to meet me, and proceed to rip someone a brand-new Civil Rights asshole.

I resent like hell having gone to so much trouble to create an environment which allows me to raise post-racial children, only to be forced to teach them the language and attitudes of racism ANYWAY. I will be mightily glad when the rest of the country gets past this Neanderthal fixation on such silly shit.

Exactly how were the Native Americans viewed in the 1940s?

Keep in mind a fair number of them served in WWII.

 

[Grace]

Tell Nicky about the Wind Talkers.
But yet..they were still ostracized during the war, Im sad to say.
I feel your pain cecillie. Tell Nicky he is a man and continue to be true to himself. My dad taught me never to be a bully or start a fight...but be damn sure to not be a doormat either.
Im sorry you are experiencing this.
And for Nicky too.

btw.....the teacher is an idiot.

 

[R.D.]

Punishing kids for defending themselves from a physical altercation is BULL

I am sorry for your son on this one. I can't say I agree that bullying in middle school nescessariy is racist rather that just little twerps who are the victims of bad parenting skills. Funny enough (well not so funny) my son was suspended for being in a fight defending his asian friend from bullies.

There was no question he was hit first, and took the worst of the beating...but zero tolerance punished both boys. WTH kind of message is that.

After failing to get him out of suspension we told him to be proud, he did good and sometimes even when your right you lose.

Good luck to you

 

[Cecilie1200]

My children are all members of a multi-racial family, obviously, since their father is half-Chinese, and various other relatives are black, Cherokee, Korean, Vietnamese, and Mexican. Although they are, obviously, aware of these racial and ethnic facts, it has been literally in the same sense that they're aware of some of their relatives have brown eyes, some blue, and some green.

In fact, my teenaged son was twelve before he ever encountered the concept of racism at all (we were aided in this by the fact that he was homeschooled, and all his extra-familial contacts were with our own friends, who obviously aren't going to be racists). I remember we were watching "Flags of Our Fathers", and he was utterly bewildered about why everyone was being so mean to the Native American guy. The movie doesn't explain WHY people automatically disliked and abused him, because the writers assumed everyone watching knew and understood about the concept of racism. Nicky didn't, though. I had to explain to him how Native Americans were viewed in the 1940s, and why, and while I did, he stared at me as though I had lost my mind. It was as bewildering to him AFTER he knew what racism was as it had been before.

Bearing this background in mind, Nicky got in a fight with another student at his school late last week., because the other student started making racist remarks and insults at Nicky about his Asian blood. Nicky reported it to the teacher, as he's supposed to do, and for some odd reason, her response was to say, "You boys need to settle down and behave yourselves"! Of course, the other boy didn't, and when Nicky started to get angry and told him to knock it off, he hit Nicky and they wound up in a fight.

The upshot being that the school has a "zero tolerance" policy for violence (although not for racism, apparently), and I have to transfer Nicky to a new school. That the policy applied to both boys doesn't make me any less annoyed. And yes, for anyone who's going to ask, I have filed a formal complaint about the teacher's pathetic handling of the situation.

So our new policy in our family, which I really hate, is that if and when this situation comes up again (because it will; there are still too many ignorant savages in the world), Nicky is to report it SPECIFICALLY in these terms: "So-and-so is making RACIST remarks to me." If the offender is not then IMMEDIATELY removed to the office to be dealt with, Nicky is to call or text me THAT INSTANT, at which point I will call the school, have Nicky brought to the office to meet me, and proceed to rip someone a brand-new Civil Rights asshole.

I resent like hell having gone to so much trouble to create an environment which allows me to raise post-racial children, only to be forced to teach them the language and attitudes of racism ANYWAY. I will be mightily glad when the rest of the country gets past this Neanderthal fixation on such silly shit.

Exactly how were the Native Americans viewed in the 1940s?

Keep in mind a fair number of them served in WWII.

What does them serving in WWII have to do with the fact that, like other minorities, they were subject to a great deal of dislike, prejudice, and abuse due to their race?

 

[Cecilie1200]

Tell Nicky about the Wind Talkers.
But yet..they were still ostracized during the war, Im sad to say.
I feel your pain cecillie. Tell Nicky he is a man and continue to be true to himself. My dad taught me never to be a bully or start a fight...but be damn sure to not be a doormat either.
Im sorry you are experiencing this.
And for Nicky too.

btw.....the teacher is an idiot.

Thanks for that. Personally, I'd have slugged the little bastard harder. Nevertheless, we have explained to Nicky that, however much people deserve it, there are times and places where physical violence just isn't practical, and school is one of them.

Frankly, given the fact that schools are forced to deal with the issue of gangs, I can't fault the school's decision to ask both boys to attend somewhere else, and I appreciate the favor they did us by recording it as a "parental withdrawal", rather than a "withdrawal for fighting", which would have made it hard to get another school to accept him.

Nevertheless, I still hold them responsible for the teacher's execrable handling of the situation that left Nicky feeling like he had no other choice.

 

[ekrem]

Nicky should learn to deal with his own problems.
It's not Nicole so you demand him to phone his mother when something in school happens.

 

[Cecilie1200]

Punishing kids for defending themselves from a physical altercation is BULL

I am sorry for your son on this one. I can't say I agree that bullying in middle school nescessariy is racist rather that just little twerps who are the victims of bad parenting skills. Funny enough (well not so funny) my son was suspended for being in a fight defending his asian friend from bullies.

There was no question he was hit first, and took the worst of the beating...but zero tolerance punished both boys. WTH kind of message is that.

After failing to get him out of suspension we told him to be proud, he did good and sometimes even when your right you lose.

Good luck to you

When someone's calling you "that stupid Asian kid" and saying "Everyone knows Asians have tiny dicks", it's racist whether they actually hate Asians or are just parroting their ignorant redneck parents.

Okay, granted, they were really LAME racist remarks, but they were still racist remarks.

Well, we've made Nicky aware that sometimes you have to do what you believe is right, and take the lumps for it. But that's why I set up this new system, which forces me to teach my kid to play the race card, which pisses me off: at least this way, the battle can be fought by someone the school can't touch.

 

[Cecilie1200]

Nicky should learn to deal with his own problems.
It's not Nicole so you demand him to phone his mother when something in school happens.

Nicky CAN'T deal with that problem. The schools have hamstrung their students in dealing privately with problems, forcing them to be dependent on teachers and staff to handle these things if they don't want to be expelled. And if the teacher or staff member refuses to do his job properly, there's nothing Nicky can do about it. I, on the other hand, have the clout that Nicky doesn't.

That's why children HAVE parents, and at 15, Nicky IS still a child.

 

[ekrem]

When someone's calling you "that stupid Asian kid" and saying "Everyone knows Asians have tiny dicks", it's racist whether they actually hate Asians or are just parroting their ignorant redneck parents.

Okay, granted, they were really LAME racist remarks, but they were still racist remarks.

Well, we've made Nicky aware that sometimes you have to do what you believe is right, and take the lumps for it. But that's why I set up this new system, which forces me to teach my kid to play the race card, which pisses me off: at least this way, the battle can be fought by someone the school can't touch.

East-Asians have tiny dicks. If teenagers mob themselves with such remarks it is no racism. If your child wouldn't be an East-Asian the kids would mob him with another phrase.

Obviously your children has been identified as a victim, and male teenagers are cruel human beings at that age. You do him no favor with your mindset like phoning the Mother when something happens in school.

 

[FuelRod]

There was quite a bit of White on White bigotry as well. Irish. Italians. Germans. Jews.
It kind of goes along with the melting pot at some level. Ignorance is ignorance and does not take the time to understand nor appreciate the cultural differences that is America. And at the same time, stereo types exist for a reason.

 

[william the wie]

Service at the sharp edge is usual for Indians the Catawba and Iroquois in the War of Independence and for that matter a majority of those dying on the 7th cavalry side were probably Indian. (The Custer brothers were lousy paper-pushers so the exact number of scouts they got killed is problematical but the majority of whites survived on Reno's Ridge to win the battle.)

 

[Cecilie1200]

When someone's calling you "that stupid Asian kid" and saying "Everyone knows Asians have tiny dicks", it's racist whether they actually hate Asians or are just parroting their ignorant redneck parents.

Okay, granted, they were really LAME racist remarks, but they were still racist remarks.

Well, we've made Nicky aware that sometimes you have to do what you believe is right, and take the lumps for it. But that's why I set up this new system, which forces me to teach my kid to play the race card, which pisses me off: at least this way, the battle can be fought by someone the school can't touch.

East-Asians have tiny dicks. If teenagers mob themselves with such remarks it is no racism. If your child wouldn't be an East-Asian the kids would mob him with another phrase.

Obviously your children has been identified as a victim, and male teenagers are cruel human beings at that age. You do him no favor with your mindset like phoning the Mother when something happens in school.

I'm not sure how interested I am to know that you spend so much time looking at, comparing, and thinking about penises. Please feel free NOT to share your hobbies in the future.

Meanwhile, enjoy ignore. FLUSH!

 

[Cecilie1200]

Ekrem, ladies and gentlemen. A shining example of the crude, barbaric Neanderthal mindset that makes it impossible for humanity to evolve past racism.

 

[ekrem]

It's you who said, that your child is mobbed with having a tiny East-Asian dick.
I told you, that such remarks are no racism and that your child would be mobbed with another phrase if he wouldn't be an East-Asian.

 

[R.D.]

When someone's calling you "that stupid Asian kid" and saying "Everyone knows Asians have tiny dicks", it's racist whether they actually hate Asians or are just parroting their ignorant redneck parents.

Okay, granted, they were really LAME racist remarks, but they were still racist remarks.

Well, we've made Nicky aware that sometimes you have to do what you believe is right, and take the lumps for it. But that's why I set up this new system, which forces me to teach my kid to play the race card, which pisses me off: at least this way, the battle can be fought by someone the school can't touch.

East-Asians have tiny dicks. If teenagers mob themselves with such remarks it is no racism. If your child wouldn't be an East-Asian the kids would mob him with another phrase.

Obviously your children has been identified as a victim, and male teenagers are cruel human beings at that age. You do him no favor with your mindset like phoning the Mother when something happens in school.

CLICK

 

[ekrem]

There is tension between 2 male teenagers who can't control their temperament in puberty.
One of the teenager tells the other aggressive one: "Wait, I've to phone my Mom first".
He'll get mobbed even more.

15 years old teenagers, that's no racism what is happening between them.
Those specific remarks are just an instrument, easily replaceable with other remarks.

 

[ekrem]

Ekrem, ladies and gentlemen. A shining example of the crude, barbaric Neanderthal mindset that makes it impossible for humanity to evolve past racism.

Having an anatomical East-Asian tiny dick has nothing to do with having balls.
And yes, amongst teenagers there are a lot of males with barbaric mindsets.
It's how the world works at those young ages and this will always stay so with some alpha-teenagers mobbing some victims. You can't try to explain everything with racism, especially not when those involved are 15 years old and are just following their nature.

 

[Cecilie1200]

When someone's calling you "that stupid Asian kid" and saying "Everyone knows Asians have tiny dicks", it's racist whether they actually hate Asians or are just parroting their ignorant redneck parents.

Okay, granted, they were really LAME racist remarks, but they were still racist remarks.

Well, we've made Nicky aware that sometimes you have to do what you believe is right, and take the lumps for it. But that's why I set up this new system, which forces me to teach my kid to play the race card, which pisses me off: at least this way, the battle can be fought by someone the school can't touch.

East-Asians have tiny dicks. If teenagers mob themselves with such remarks it is no racism. If your child wouldn't be an East-Asian the kids would mob him with another phrase.

Obviously your children has been identified as a victim, and male teenagers are cruel human beings at that age. You do him no favor with your mindset like phoning the Mother when something happens in school.

CLICK

On the bright side, trash always identifies itself early, so it doesn't take long before you can start giving them the sort of notice they deserve.

 

[ekrem]

On the bright side, trash always identifies itself early, so it doesn't take long before you can start giving them the sort of notice they deserve.

It's not me who is the trash in this thread, but your son within the hierarchy amongst his equals. Otherwise the other kid would have never hit your kid.

It's the wrong approach to demand from him, that he phones his mother in future when he's involved in another fight.