Discussion in 'Humor' started by PoliticalChic, Aug 31, 2012.

  1. PoliticalChic

    PoliticalChic Diamond Member

    Oct 6, 2008
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    Brooklyn, NY
    May your mother-in-law's DNR be invalidated by a doctor who subscribes to "culture of life."

    May your accountant be as honest as Paul Ryan, and may your children be as compassionate towards the elderly and infirm.

    May your prostate grow as fast as your children's student loan interest rates.

    May the Christian right defend the invocation of your rabbi at their convention as proof of the GOP commitment to diversity, especially since everyone knows "God does not hear the prayers of a Jew."

    May you have a rare disease and need an operation that only one surgeon in the world, the winner of the Nobel Prize for Medicine, is able to perform. And may he be unable to perform it because he doesn’t take your insurance. And may that Nobel Laureate be your son.

    May you live to a ripe old age, and may the only people who come visit you be Mormon missionaries.

    May you grow like an onion with your head in the ground, and then may the ground be fracked.

    May your only "grandchildren" be cats, and may you be allergic, but may your pharmacist legally refuse to refill your Allegra prescription because it's manufactured by the same company that makes the abortion drug.

    May you dream all your life of making aliyah to Israel, only to be rejected when you fail to produce your long-form Bar Mitzvah certificate.

    May your caller ID confuse the number of all campaign robo-calls, fundraising solicitations, and telemarketers with that of your grandchildren.

    May your child give his Bar Mitzvah speech on the genius of Ayn Rand.

    May you have a hundred houses, and in every house a hundred rooms, and in every room twenty beds, and then may you fall behind on just one of your mortgage payments and have the bank repossess everything.

    May you find yourself insisting to a roomful of skeptics that your great-grandmother was "legitimately" raped by Cossacks.

    May you live to a hundred and twenty without Social Security or Medicare.

    May you be reunited in the world to come with your ancestors, who were all socialist garment workers.

    May the state of Arizona expand their definition of "suspected illegal immigrants" to "anyone who doesn't hunt."

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