Yellowbeard in Vegas

Abishai100

VIP Member
Sep 22, 2013
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Modern consumerism has spread across the globe, so it's a Starbucks/Facebook/McDonald's universe. People think about 'Planet Hollywood culture' and 'Vegas politics' (i.e., Wall Street).

Maybe, just maybe, we should contemplate the demons of piracy lurking in our profiteerism-gauged media-political 'TrumpUSA' this Memorial Day...



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Paul Monash was a beautiful baby who grew up to become the ruthless Vegas mafia tycoon known as 'Kingpin.' Kingpin had turned the casino-lit city of Las Vegas from a neon tourist-spot into an opium playground. Journalists from around the world were saying that the capitalism-subjective Trump Administration had failed to tighten the mercantilism-culture screws into modern America enough to deter the likes of Kingpin. Some were even saying, "Las Vegas is haunted by the phantom of a bloodlust pirate --- Yellowbeard!"

Yellowbeard folklore grew over the first couple of years of the Trump Administration. The name 'yellow-beard' was meant to signify someone who was present (a presence!) but undesirable (and prompting fear/anxiety). Lovers of anti-Trump politics started believing Yellowbeard was a potentially real ghost haunting Caesar's Palace. Meanwhile, Kingpin's opium syndicate flourished and his casino the Kingpin Kreme was very lucrative and even invited President Trump to a Siegfried-and-Roy show there. Soon the FBI were consulted. Americans were becoming wary about monopolies.

There was never any evidence of a ghost called 'Yellowbeard' haunting Kingpin Kreme soon thereafter. Three American media-personalities/celebrities (Tom Cruise, Kurt Russell, and Dinesh D'Souza) joined an idealistic Internet-blogging self-proclaimed 'Vegas vigilante' named Ajay Satan on a joint ghost-hunting mission (calling themselves the 'Quartet') at Kingpin Kreme --- to hunt down Yellowbeard. What they found were numerous casino patrons basking in the warmth of a gambling-vapored TrumpUSA. There was indeed a ghost called Yellowbeard haunting Kingpin Kreme, and he decided to begin stalking the Quartet, trying to ogle them into nudging President Trump to destroy 'consumerism dizziness'. Kingpin pulled out a photo of himself as a beautiful baby and muttered to himself, "Innocence is a venture."

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KINGPIN and BABY PAUL MONASH:


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CRUISE, D'SOUZA, AJAY, and RUSSELL:
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Tomax and Xamot


Here's an adapted fan-fic of the terrorism-patriotism themed comic book stylized franchise G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero (Hasbro).

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The hot two American movie-stars Leo DiCaprio (The Aviator) and Ben Affleck (Argo) decided to visit Las Vegas and try to find Yellowbeard. Find him they did, and the pirate-ghost made them a Devil's wager --- if they agreed to become werewolves, he would allow them to have free reign, creating metaphysics thrills and adventurous mischief in a consumerism-corrupt America (as 'social critics'). DiCaprio and Affleck couldn't believe the scale! Having become friends, they started reading comic books together and fantasized about being more 'vigilant' in American society, but they never dreamt they'd get an offer from a Vegas-ghost to become 'phantom-werewolves.' Being fans of the Underworld vampire-werewolf film series starring Kate Beckinsale, they decided to take up Yellowbeard on his strange offer, confident they would not succumb to evil.

As werewolves lurking around Vegas invisibly, DiCaprio and Affleck referred to themselves as the Remus-Romulus prototypes Tomax and Xamot (names borrowed from comic books) and were determined to deliver prophetic messages about the moral waywardness of our capitalism-subjective Starbucks-drenched 'TrumpUSA.' Yellowbeard grinned slyly, knowing that 'Tomax and Xamot' could not resist the charms of becoming daredevil-pirates, the kind of werewolves that really give human beings the goosebumps. There were several sightings of Tomax and Xamot, as Vegas patrons (especially those at Caesar's Palace --- including Melania Trump, Anne Hathaway, and Steffi Graf) claimed to be seeing menacing silhouettes of 'wolfish' figures, and it was ironic that DiCaprio and Affleck had both recently made the symbolic films The Wolf of Wall Street and Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice.

A bounty-hunter named Eric Cord went to Vegas and hunted down Tomax and Xamot, and as their blood lay dripping onto the floors of Caesar's Palace, the spirit of DiCaprio and Affleck re-emerged and re-entered their human bodies. Yellowbeard grinned slyly and muttered to himself, "I've won the wager! You can't kill the 'spirit' of a werewolf, especially in a gambling-town like Las Vegas or under the corrupted umbrella of a profiteerism-cerebral 'TrumpUSA'!" DiCaprio and Affleck decided to begin a joint film-project --- a sequel to the I Know What You Did Last Summer horror-film series --- about a phantom-like serial killer stalking patrons and tourists in Vegas and preying on modern consumerism moral frailties regarding 'handkerchief conveniences' (e.g., Starbucks, Facebook, McDonald's, etc., etc.). The killer would target people in Vegas busy fantasizing about easy money. President Trump said to himself, "Boy! I remember the days I ran Trump Taj Mahal casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey!"

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