Would you marry a single mum/dad?

[Porter Rockwell]

If your age is that old, you might try finding a woman who has a kid that is off in college, the military, has a separate family of their own, etc. Chances are, if you live under the same roof with a woman with kids, you will always come in a far second place. Hate to be blunt, but most men find that if a woman does not agree that husband and wife are one unit and the spouses are equal in running the home, etc. then it's probably cheaper to rent them than to piss your life away with someone that will ultimately treat you like garbage.

May I ask of what you are a "minister"?

I am the minister of a small congregation in Georgia.

 

[Porter Rockwell]

I have started doing Christian counseling for those anticipating marriage.

Do you do homosexual counseling, too?
You know, turning gay men straight?

I'm not sure anyone can turn a gay man straight; the best you can do is help someone who is confused. If he's gay and committed to it, NOBODY (at least no mortal) is going to succeed in changing them. That is between them and their Creator.

 

[WinterBorn]

No, it is not.

What is it you do?

Climb trees. Professionally.

Kudos. That is hard work.

I don't know if its harder than line work. I've also worked in some of the worst weather imaginable.

It is. They know it. Some used to do it. I'm kinda hooked up on that tip.

They'll do what I ask, because I'm reasonable about it.

They also know I bust my ass.

Eh, I think both are pretty damned rough, physically. And yes, there is plenty of intellectual work in the trees. But you aren't working with 30Kv and up. I'm not sure the tools weigh as much. My line belt, with tools, ran in the neighborhood of 40lbs. Plus a handline to drop for parts and tools (like a 50lb lasher). But the utility poles and towers don't move like trees do, so there is that.

Powerline work has some sneaky ways to die too. After I got into safety, the first fatality investigation I did was of a lineman working transmission lines. He was electrocuted. Tricky part was that neither end of his line was energized or connected. That is why the idiot groundhand didn't think it needed to be grounded. It did need to be.

Yeahh, I go up above that and avoid it.

One thing we have in common. Both of us have had days ruined by bees or hornets. lol

 

[Porter Rockwell]

That was 25 years ago, and she's an idiot. She did suck my dick and swallow 1week before she morried someone else.

It's great that you can add your marriage details to this thread.
I'm sure the "minister" is taking notes.

I've already been mean to Marion once today. I don't get to judge the guy. Like I keep telling you, all of us have done things in the past and everybody, including ministers are hypocritical sinners.

 

[WinterBorn]

If I just wanted to argue, I would point out the inconsistency of you posting "I pay the bills, make sure a roof was over his head, and food in his stomach." and then "Personally, my wife makes more money than me. Is it a problem for me? Not really.". But I won't. lol

There is no inconsistency. My wife spends her money on what SHE wants to buy. I pay the bills at this house. She said it was mine when we met so it should be my responsibility.

Now, when her son came here to stay, she took him out to movies and stores, etc. but, the mortgage, utilities, insurance, food, etc., etc. are all on me. You should go back and reread the whole thread. My wife actually keeps up two sons. One is about 28, the other over 30. She pays for everything in their lives. Neither has a high school education, has held a job over 90 days, nor lived outside the care of mommy. The youngest, who has autism DID just get his driver's license and a job in a nursing home. I'm proud of him, The other one is a dope smoking POS. He will never look for a job or be independent because mommy does not want him to have a male role model in his life.

Sounds like a complete failure in raising a child to be an independent person.

Wasn't my raising. These were adults when I met them. FWIW, the father sounds like my critics on this thread.

I didn't say you raised them. I said it was a failure in raising the child. Your situation is different than what the OP asked about, in my mind. And was certainly different than what I was talking about.

I didn't start the side discussion about raising children. The only thing I can tell you from many years of experience - having married a woman who previously had children and have counseled a few - not to mention known quite a number of guys who wail and complain about their lives and being the odd man out in such a relationship, I offered my lowly opinion. If you value your sanity, self esteem and want a happy future, LOOK before you leap. I'd NEVER do it again.

And I offered my opinion. If you love the person enough to marry them, then it is a consideration. It is a very important factor. It should not be done lightly. Yes, it can be tough as hell. But raising kids in general can be tough as hell.

I wouldn't make this a reason for marrying someone with kids, but it is something to keep in mind. That child from a broken home can have their world changed by a good step-parent. Giving them a solid, stable person in their life can change it. Providing an example to follow can offer them the world.

 

[Marion Morrison]

If your age is that old, you might try finding a woman who has a kid that is off in college, the military, has a separate family of their own, etc. Chances are, if you live under the same roof with a woman with kids, you will always come in a far second place. Hate to be blunt, but most men find that if a woman does not agree that husband and wife are one unit and the spouses are equal in running the home, etc. then it's probably cheaper to rent them than to piss your life away with someone that will ultimately treat you like garbage.

May I ask of what you are a "minister"?

I am the minister of a small congregation in Georgia.

Lemme guess: Southern Baptist? Georgia is home to the huge churches.

 

[Porter Rockwell]

There is no inconsistency. My wife spends her money on what SHE wants to buy. I pay the bills at this house. She said it was mine when we met so it should be my responsibility.

Now, when her son came here to stay, she took him out to movies and stores, etc. but, the mortgage, utilities, insurance, food, etc., etc. are all on me. You should go back and reread the whole thread. My wife actually keeps up two sons. One is about 28, the other over 30. She pays for everything in their lives. Neither has a high school education, has held a job over 90 days, nor lived outside the care of mommy. The youngest, who has autism DID just get his driver's license and a job in a nursing home. I'm proud of him, The other one is a dope smoking POS. He will never look for a job or be independent because mommy does not want him to have a male role model in his life.

Sounds like a complete failure in raising a child to be an independent person.

Wasn't my raising. These were adults when I met them. FWIW, the father sounds like my critics on this thread.

I didn't say you raised them. I said it was a failure in raising the child. Your situation is different than what the OP asked about, in my mind. And was certainly different than what I was talking about.

I didn't start the side discussion about raising children. The only thing I can tell you from many years of experience - having married a woman who previously had children and have counseled a few - not to mention known quite a number of guys who wail and complain about their lives and being the odd man out in such a relationship, I offered my lowly opinion. If you value your sanity, self esteem and want a happy future, LOOK before you leap. I'd NEVER do it again.

And I offered my opinion. If you love the person enough to marry them, then it is a consideration. It is a very important factor. It should not be done lightly. Yes, it can be tough as hell. But raising kids in general can be tough as hell.

I wouldn't make this a reason for marrying someone with kids, but it is something to keep in mind. That child from a broken home can have their world changed by a good step-parent. Giving them a solid, stable person in their life can change it. Providing an example to follow can offer them the world.

What you say about step children can be true in some instances. I am a DFACS asset (Dept. of Family and Children Services) as a foster parent. When kids are separated from their parents at 2 am, I'm the guy the cops call to pick up children and take care of them until relatives can get them or the parent gets out of jail. Sometimes that is a long term deal.

But, the flip side to your argument is that most women refuse to allow their children to be led and disciplined by another man. AND the new norm in society is that the man has NO role; such would be to rule the roost and such like... as has been suggested in this thread.

 

[Porter Rockwell]

If your age is that old, you might try finding a woman who has a kid that is off in college, the military, has a separate family of their own, etc. Chances are, if you live under the same roof with a woman with kids, you will always come in a far second place. Hate to be blunt, but most men find that if a woman does not agree that husband and wife are one unit and the spouses are equal in running the home, etc. then it's probably cheaper to rent them than to piss your life away with someone that will ultimately treat you like garbage.

May I ask of what you are a "minister"?

I am the minister of a small congregation in Georgia.

Lemme guess: Southern Baptist? Georgia is home to the huge churches.

That would be a NO. The fact is I'm in talks with a few other people about establishing a separate denomination since the organized religions are changing the tenets of their faith, worrying more about optics than the quality of the message. BTW, when was the last time a preacher came to your house and offered to pray with you, help you in a time of need, or offer to answer your questions at your house - at your convenience?

 

[WinterBorn]

Sounds like a complete failure in raising a child to be an independent person.

Wasn't my raising. These were adults when I met them. FWIW, the father sounds like my critics on this thread.

I didn't say you raised them. I said it was a failure in raising the child. Your situation is different than what the OP asked about, in my mind. And was certainly different than what I was talking about.

I didn't start the side discussion about raising children. The only thing I can tell you from many years of experience - having married a woman who previously had children and have counseled a few - not to mention known quite a number of guys who wail and complain about their lives and being the odd man out in such a relationship, I offered my lowly opinion. If you value your sanity, self esteem and want a happy future, LOOK before you leap. I'd NEVER do it again.

And I offered my opinion. If you love the person enough to marry them, then it is a consideration. It is a very important factor. It should not be done lightly. Yes, it can be tough as hell. But raising kids in general can be tough as hell.

I wouldn't make this a reason for marrying someone with kids, but it is something to keep in mind. That child from a broken home can have their world changed by a good step-parent. Giving them a solid, stable person in their life can change it. Providing an example to follow can offer them the world.

What you say about step children can be true in some instances. I am a DFACS asset (Dept. of Family and Children Services) as a foster parent. When kids are separated from their parents at 2 am, I'm the guy the cops call to pick up children and take care of them until relatives can get them or the parent gets out of jail. Sometimes that is a long term deal.

But, the flip side to your argument is that most women refuse to allow their children to be led and disciplined by another man. AND the new norm in society is that the man has NO role; such would be to rule the roost and such like... as has been suggested in this thread.

I think it depends on the couple. Many times there is no gov't involvement, and so there are no statistics for the ones that work out. Mine did. I have at least 3 couples who are friends of mine where one is a step-parent.

If the parent you are considering marrying says you cannot discipline their child, then don't marry them. But waiting until after the wedding to discuss it is a recipe for disaster. A thorough discussion of all possibilities is best, as your marital situation will attest. And don't rush in.

 

[Porter Rockwell]

Wasn't my raising. These were adults when I met them. FWIW, the father sounds like my critics on this thread.

I didn't say you raised them. I said it was a failure in raising the child. Your situation is different than what the OP asked about, in my mind. And was certainly different than what I was talking about.

I didn't start the side discussion about raising children. The only thing I can tell you from many years of experience - having married a woman who previously had children and have counseled a few - not to mention known quite a number of guys who wail and complain about their lives and being the odd man out in such a relationship, I offered my lowly opinion. If you value your sanity, self esteem and want a happy future, LOOK before you leap. I'd NEVER do it again.

And I offered my opinion. If you love the person enough to marry them, then it is a consideration. It is a very important factor. It should not be done lightly. Yes, it can be tough as hell. But raising kids in general can be tough as hell.

I wouldn't make this a reason for marrying someone with kids, but it is something to keep in mind. That child from a broken home can have their world changed by a good step-parent. Giving them a solid, stable person in their life can change it. Providing an example to follow can offer them the world.

What you say about step children can be true in some instances. I am a DFACS asset (Dept. of Family and Children Services) as a foster parent. When kids are separated from their parents at 2 am, I'm the guy the cops call to pick up children and take care of them until relatives can get them or the parent gets out of jail. Sometimes that is a long term deal.

But, the flip side to your argument is that most women refuse to allow their children to be led and disciplined by another man. AND the new norm in society is that the man has NO role; such would be to rule the roost and such like... as has been suggested in this thread.

I think it depends on the couple. Many times there is no gov't involvement, and so there are no statistics for the ones that work out. Mine did. I have at least 3 couples who are friends of mine where one is a step-parent.

If the parent you are considering marrying says you cannot discipline their child, then don't marry them. But waiting until after the wedding to discuss it is a recipe for disaster. A thorough discussion of all possibilities is best, as your marital situation will attest. And don't rush in.

Actually before getting married my wife and I were in agreement. Afterward, she did not do what she said she was going to. But, your point is well taken. That is why I do Christian counseling. It is not perfect, but it does make people think before taking the leap.

 

[Kaykan]

If your age is that old, you might try finding a woman who has a kid that is off in college, the military, has a separate family of their own, etc. Chances are, if you live under the same roof with a woman with kids, you will always come in a far second place. Hate to be blunt, but most men find that if a woman does not agree that husband and wife are one unit and the spouses are equal in running the home, etc. then it's probably cheaper to rent them than to piss your life away with someone that will ultimately treat you like garbage.

May I ask of what you are a "minister"?

I am the minister of a small congregation in Georgia.

Lemme guess: Southern Baptist? Georgia is home to the huge churches.

That would be a NO. The fact is I'm in talks with a few other people about establishing a separate denomination since the organized religions are changing the tenets of their faith, worrying more about optics than the quality of the message. BTW, when was the last time a preacher came to your house and offered to pray with you, help you in a time of need, or offer to answer your questions at your house - at your convenience?

Well two Saturdays ago I had a Jehova's Witness knock on my door, offering to help me.
I told him I didn't need any help.
He asked if I was a churchgoer, and I said, "No."
He then dug into his briefcase, and produced a copy of what I took to be "Watchtower", and offered it to me.
I told him I bought my toilet paper at Costco, and closed the door.

Did I pass your test?

 

[Porter Rockwell]

If your age is that old, you might try finding a woman who has a kid that is off in college, the military, has a separate family of their own, etc. Chances are, if you live under the same roof with a woman with kids, you will always come in a far second place. Hate to be blunt, but most men find that if a woman does not agree that husband and wife are one unit and the spouses are equal in running the home, etc. then it's probably cheaper to rent them than to piss your life away with someone that will ultimately treat you like garbage.

May I ask of what you are a "minister"?

I am the minister of a small congregation in Georgia.

Lemme guess: Southern Baptist? Georgia is home to the huge churches.

That would be a NO. The fact is I'm in talks with a few other people about establishing a separate denomination since the organized religions are changing the tenets of their faith, worrying more about optics than the quality of the message. BTW, when was the last time a preacher came to your house and offered to pray with you, help you in a time of need, or offer to answer your questions at your house - at your convenience?

Well two Saturdays ago I had a Jehova's Witness knock on my door, offering to help me.
I told him I didn't need any help.
He asked if I was a churchgoer, and I said, "No."
He then dug into his briefcase, and produced a copy of what I took to be "Watchtower", and offered it to me.
I told him I bought my toilet paper at Costco, and closed the door.

Did I pass your test?

I don't subscribe to their ideology, but I've never been disrespectful toward them. Once, where I used to live I did take one of their magazines. About a month later, they returned. I invited them into the house and they were delighted to find out I read that magazine.

Then I produced my Bible, cross checked their references, showed them how the author inserted words to make the quoted verses say one thing when it meant something else. Strange. They left and never came back.