Words with 2 different meanings (Men and WOmen)

Discussion in 'Humor' started by MyName, May 26, 2005.

  1. MyName
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    1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
    Female... Any part under a car's hood.
    Male...... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.


    2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
    Female... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
    Male.......
    Playing football without a cup.


    3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
    Female...The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
    Male...... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the
    boys.


    4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
    Female... A desire to get married and raise a family Male........Trying
    not to hit on other women while out with this one.


    5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
    Female... A good movie, concert, play or book.
    Male....... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.


    6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.!
    Female... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
    Male....... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.


    7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
    Female...The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
    Male...... Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.


    8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
    Female... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
    Male....... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5
    minutes.


    AND;


    He said . . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to
    put in it. She said . . . You wear pants don't you?


    He said . . . . Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
    She said . . . That's a good idea - you stand by the sink while I sit on
    the sofa and fart!


    He said . . . . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I
    gave you? She said . . . Turn sideways and look in the mirror!


    He said . . . . Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm? She said
    .
    . . I would but you're never there.


    He said . . . . Why don't women blink during foreplay?
    She said . . . They don't have time


    He said . . . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet
    paper? She said . . . We don't know; it has never happened.


    He said . . . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive,
    caring and Good- looking? She said . . . They already have boyfriends.


    She said . . . What do you call a women who knows where her husband is
    every night? He said . . . . A widow.


    He said . . . . Why are married women heavier than single women? She
    said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to
    bed.
    Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
     

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