How many women does it take to change a light bulb? 11 - 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it... How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up. How many divorced Women does it take to screw in a light bulb? 4,1 to screw in the bulb, 3 to form a support group. How many women does it take to change a light bulb? 11, 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it.. How many men does it take to please a woman. Impossible. Once a woman's done bitching about the men they're all asleep. How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. Why do women close their eyes during sex? They can't stand to see a man have a good time. What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A women who won't do what she's told. Why did the woman cross the road? That's not the point,what's she doing out of the kitchen? What do you do if your dishwasher breaks down? Kick her where the sun don't shine. What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side. Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women? He died laughing before he could tell anybody.