Why people are @$$holes online & How the Internet warps perception

[Billo_Really]

That's easy to say, while sitting at your computer.



.

This is true.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

bullying online is the result of low self esteem

You may have a good point here.

After all, that's what bullying irl is.

And, online, we see the gang or mob mentality where groups would be weak alone but gain strength when their peers support their bad behavior.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

I don't use those words online let alone in public. Admit I'm often thinking them but that's because 40 years of television has warped my wittle mind.

Honestly, I can't imagine anything that would make me sink so low as to use those words, in THAT context or with THAT purpose.

Fact is, the word XXXXX was once a very honorable word with an honorable meaning.

 

[dilloduck]

bullying online is the result of low self esteem

You may have a good point here.

After all, that's what bullying irl is.

And, online, we see the gang or mob mentality where groups would be weak alone but gain strength when their peers support their bad behavior.

anyone who allows themselves to be bullied online is a pussy. Sticks and stones ---

 

[Luddly Neddite]

bullying online is the result of low self esteem

You may have a good point here.

After all, that's what bullying irl is.

And, online, we see the gang or mob mentality where groups would be weak alone but gain strength when their peers support their bad behavior.

anyone who allows themselves to be bullied online is a pussy. Sticks and stones ---

That may or may not be true but its not really germane to the OP.

 

[Carla_Danger]

bullying online is the result of low self esteem

You may have a good point here.

After all, that's what bullying irl is.

And, online, we see the gang or mob mentality where groups would be weak alone but gain strength when their peers support their bad behavior.

anyone who allows themselves to be bullied online is a pussy. Sticks and stones ---

What do you normally do to prevent being bullied online? Or maybe a better question would be, what do you suggest to others, to prevent them from being bullied online?



.

 

[Missourian]

Fear prevents misbehaving. If you fear being punched in the face, you tend to be polite. Online we don't have that fear so we misbehave more readily than we would irl.

Does that mean that its only fear of consequences that keeps us from behaving badly?

If so, maybe there's some truth to the theory that some follow religion in order to get into heaven.

I'd like to believe we're better than that.

But yes, being anonymous and knowing you'll never have to face that person irl does seem to make it possible for some people to call names and in general, behave like spoiled children.

Maybe that's what the internet gives us - permission to throw little childish tantrums. Back to the thread about the kid throwing a tantrum because he wanted something and the guy who bought them all so the child couldn't have any.

Who was the child in that situation? I think the guy who was actually willing to spend the money to buy up all the treats so a little kid couldn't have any was behaving far worse than the child throwing the fit.

I think it is definitely true that people behave differently online than they do in person. What we consider civilized behavior is often lost because we are hiding behind a mask.

It is the theme of the novel Lord of the Flies, which most people in the English speaking world, and outside of it as well, have read in high school. When the veneer of civilization is gone (in the book, the adults), we revert to our primitive mentalities. That is what the internet does, allows us to behave in primitive ways without repercussions.

Many of the things some people say on the internet they would not say in person. The 'c' word is a perfect example. In RL I am an ordinary woman, a decent average woman whom men treat with respect. No one in RL has ever used that word toward me, but online, on USMB, many think it is just fine to call me that: they enjoy insulting women that way, though in person, most likely, they would never direct such an insult to any ordinary, average, decent woman, not face to face. Why not? Because the veneer of civilized behavior puts restrictions on what we do and say. When people are online, they engage in behavior they can't engage in in the real world. Like the boys in Lord of the Flies, they revert to being primitives.

It is a metaphorical punch in the face people fear by behaving differently in RL than they do online. But I don't think it is a fear of the particular person they are talking to, but a fear of looking very bad in respect to social conventions.

Interestingly, some of the posts so far in this thread (at least the original thread) demonstrate this. It is highly unlikely in any casual or formal social situation those posters would respond to the OP in such a vulgar, aggressive, offensive & rude manner.

For once I agree with you Esmeralda.

Although my conclusions aren't quite so verbose.

IMO, what you see online is the real person, what they believe and what they feel and what they are in their heart of hearts.

 

[Carla_Danger]

I don't use those words online let alone in public. Admit I'm often thinking them but that's because 40 years of television has warped my wittle mind.

Television desensitization would be a good topic for a thread.

 

[Carla_Danger]

Does that mean that its only fear of consequences that keeps us from behaving badly?

If so, maybe there's some truth to the theory that some follow religion in order to get into heaven.

I'd like to believe we're better than that.

But yes, being anonymous and knowing you'll never have to face that person irl does seem to make it possible for some people to call names and in general, behave like spoiled children.

Maybe that's what the internet gives us - permission to throw little childish tantrums. Back to the thread about the kid throwing a tantrum because he wanted something and the guy who bought them all so the child couldn't have any.

Who was the child in that situation? I think the guy who was actually willing to spend the money to buy up all the treats so a little kid couldn't have any was behaving far worse than the child throwing the fit.

I think it is definitely true that people behave differently online than they do in person. What we consider civilized behavior is often lost because we are hiding behind a mask.

It is the theme of the novel Lord of the Flies, which most people in the English speaking world, and outside of it as well, have read in high school. When the veneer of civilization is gone (in the book, the adults), we revert to our primitive mentalities. That is what the internet does, allows us to behave in primitive ways without repercussions.

Many of the things some people say on the internet they would not say in person. The 'c' word is a perfect example. In RL I am an ordinary woman, a decent average woman whom men treat with respect. No one in RL has ever used that word toward me, but online, on USMB, many think it is just fine to call me that: they enjoy insulting women that way, though in person, most likely, they would never direct such an insult to any ordinary, average, decent woman, not face to face. Why not? Because the veneer of civilized behavior puts restrictions on what we do and say. When people are online, they engage in behavior they can't engage in in the real world. Like the boys in Lord of the Flies, they revert to being primitives.

It is a metaphorical punch in the face people fear by behaving differently in RL than they do online. But I don't think it is a fear of the particular person they are talking to, but a fear of looking very bad in respect to social conventions.

Interestingly, some of the posts so far in this thread (at least the original thread) demonstrate this. It is highly unlikely in any casual or formal social situation those posters would respond to the OP in such a vulgar, aggressive, offensive & rude manner.

For once I agree with you Esmeralda.

Although my conclusions aren't quite so verbose.

IMO, what you see online is the real person, what they believe and what they feel and what they are in their heart of hearts.

I think it's more of a snapshot of what they are feeling in the moment.

 

[dilloduck]

I think it is definitely true that people behave differently online than they do in person. What we consider civilized behavior is often lost because we are hiding behind a mask.

It is the theme of the novel Lord of the Flies, which most people in the English speaking world, and outside of it as well, have read in high school. When the veneer of civilization is gone (in the book, the adults), we revert to our primitive mentalities. That is what the internet does, allows us to behave in primitive ways without repercussions.

Many of the things some people say on the internet they would not say in person. The 'c' word is a perfect example. In RL I am an ordinary woman, a decent average woman whom men treat with respect. No one in RL has ever used that word toward me, but online, on USMB, many think it is just fine to call me that: they enjoy insulting women that way, though in person, most likely, they would never direct such an insult to any ordinary, average, decent woman, not face to face. Why not? Because the veneer of civilized behavior puts restrictions on what we do and say. When people are online, they engage in behavior they can't engage in in the real world. Like the boys in Lord of the Flies, they revert to being primitives.

It is a metaphorical punch in the face people fear by behaving differently in RL than they do online. But I don't think it is a fear of the particular person they are talking to, but a fear of looking very bad in respect to social conventions.

Interestingly, some of the posts so far in this thread (at least the original thread) demonstrate this. It is highly unlikely in any casual or formal social situation those posters would respond to the OP in such a vulgar, aggressive, offensive & rude manner.

For once I agree with you Esmeralda.

Although my conclusions aren't quite so verbose.

IMO, what you see online is the real person, what they believe and what they feel and what they are in their heart of hearts.

I think it's more of a snapshot of what they are feeling in the moment.

Agreed---I think you would have to watch people post for a damn long time to get any sense of what they are really like. Some people don't even share what they are like IRL anyway.

 

[Carla_Danger]

anyone who allows themselves to be bullied online is a pussy. Sticks and stones ---

That may or may not be true but its not really germane to the OP.

Sure it is---pussy's only serve to enable the angry bullies. If they don't have an audience they move on.

And they move on to bully someone else because they are suffering from low self esteem.

 

[IlarMeilyr]

Some people are assholes online because they were assholes before they ever got online.

Not pointing my finger at any modern American liberals in particular, Muddly.

 

[Esmeralda]

Does that mean that its only fear of consequences that keeps us from behaving badly?

If so, maybe there's some truth to the theory that some follow religion in order to get into heaven.

I'd like to believe we're better than that.

But yes, being anonymous and knowing you'll never have to face that person irl does seem to make it possible for some people to call names and in general, behave like spoiled children.

Maybe that's what the internet gives us - permission to throw little childish tantrums. Back to the thread about the kid throwing a tantrum because he wanted something and the guy who bought them all so the child couldn't have any.

Who was the child in that situation? I think the guy who was actually willing to spend the money to buy up all the treats so a little kid couldn't have any was behaving far worse than the child throwing the fit.

I think it is definitely true that people behave differently online than they do in person. What we consider civilized behavior is often lost because we are hiding behind a mask.

It is the theme of the novel Lord of the Flies, which most people in the English speaking world, and outside of it as well, have read in high school. When the veneer of civilization is gone (in the book, the adults), we revert to our primitive mentalities. That is what the internet does, allows us to behave in primitive ways without repercussions.

Many of the things some people say on the internet they would not say in person. The 'c' word is a perfect example. In RL I am an ordinary woman, a decent average woman whom men treat with respect. No one in RL has ever used that word toward me, but online, on USMB, many think it is just fine to call me that: they enjoy insulting women that way, though in person, most likely, they would never direct such an insult to any ordinary, average, decent woman, not face to face. Why not? Because the veneer of civilized behavior puts restrictions on what we do and say. When people are online, they engage in behavior they can't engage in in the real world. Like the boys in Lord of the Flies, they revert to being primitives.

It is a metaphorical punch in the face people fear by behaving the same in RL than they do online. But I don't think it is a fear of the particular person they are talking to, rather a fear of looking very bad in respect to social conventions.

Interestingly, some of the posts so far in this thread (at least the original thread) demonstrate this. It is highly unlikely in any casual or formal social situation those posters would respond to the OP in such a vulgar, aggressive, offensive & rude manner.

For once I agree with you Esmeralda.

Although my conclusions aren't quite so verbose.

IMO, what you see online is the real person, what they believe and what they feel and what they are in their heart of hearts.

Moi? Verbose? Peut-etre.

No, I have reviewed my post and find I've only been thorough and precise.

 

[dilloduck]

That may or may not be true but its not really germane to the OP.

Sure it is---pussy's only serve to enable the angry bullies. If they don't have an audience they move on.

"pussy"
"angry bully"

I don't agree that those are the only two choices.

(Needless to say, I would also never sink so low as to call someone a "pussy".)

what's with the strawman ? I never said they were the only two choices.

 

[dilloduck]

That may or may not be true but its not really germane to the OP.

Sure it is---pussy's only serve to enable the angry bullies. If they don't have an audience they move on.

And they move on to bully someone else because they are suffering from low self esteem.

sure they will----classic co-dependency. Persecutors and victims.

 

[Carla_Danger]

Some people are assholes online because they were assholes before they ever got online.

Not pointing my finger at any modern American liberals in particular, Muddly.

Looks like someone (wink, wink) needs a self confidence boost.




.

 

[Papageorgio]

I really can't see anyone on this site being a bully, however I don't take this board seriously.

It is entertainment.

 

[flacaltenn]

Moderation Message:

After TRASHING this CDZone topic yesterday, against better judgement,
it was allowed to be restarted. There are already over 10 deletions and
a couple infracts to write. IT IS NOT UP TO CDZONE STANDARDS..

We have this zone for a reason and perhaps topics like this should be in FZ
so that @$$holes can be @$$holes.. It MAY remain closed when the paperwork is
done. IF --- it reopens --- EVERY CDZone violation will be cited. And in this Zone, if you
accumulate just a few CDZ infracts -- you will be banned from the forum..

FlaCalTenn