Why Men Need Younger Women

[Iridescence]

It isn't all about the sex. It is somewhat about what I always hear women brag about... how 'we' supposedly mature so much faster than 'our' men. So many people had enough to say about the playboy icon marrying the younger and obviously beautiful women... yet he has what seems to be an undying zest and zeal for life that so many other men his age seem to lack.

Why Do Older Men Date Younger Women? | ThirdAge

1. Fantasy love fades. Usually within a year. At first, the geezer is in love with her looks and youthful spirit. Eventually, he realizes all they have in common is a roof over their heads, and he'll be off to look for a relationship with substance.
2. Geezers may feel younger, but dating younger women won't make them younger. No matter how hard older men try to make the wrinkles disappear, the darn things keep showing up in the mirror.
3. Older men and younger women use each other, similar to a business arrangement. He's got money, assets, power, and security; she's got youth and beauty. If the money runs out, or someone richer comes along, she'll break the lease, leaving him with an empty wallet and his arms around a tree.
4. OK, maybe she's not using him. Perhaps she loves him because he's more patient, laid back, mature, gentle, and understanding than men her age. Still, she's likely considered his bucks at some point. I mean, you don't see younger women with destitute older men, do you?

... more on site...

But seriously, what woman in her right mind would deny any man this? Even if it is hype, the potential truths... keep me certain that I would not want my husband or my sons as they mature to be denied the attentions of whatever appealing youth they find themselves attracted to (within the logic and reason of legal age limits... yet in my mind 15 and 16 is more legal in many cases than illegal).

Older Men and Younger Women on MedicineNet.com
Will It Work?
WebMD Feature

Dec. 11, 2000 -- When Tamara Latorre met her boyfriend, she was 32 and he was 43. That is, he said he was 43. They met online, so how could she know for sure? After their first rendezvous in person, he confessed: he was 52. The 20-year age difference between them didn't trouble her. She'd already fallen for him.

Three years later, they're happily living together on a four-acre horse farm in southeastern Massachusetts. The age difference doesn't show up when they're riding horses or racing down the slopes on a ski vacation. The gap appears when they talk about their future.

Eager to get the education she missed when she was younger, Latorre is enrolled full-time in college and plans to go to law school as well. A mother of four -- her oldest is 12 -- she is preparing to launch a career for the first time. Her boyfriend, meanwhile, is on the downside of his working life. Until he got divorced recently and his expenses went up, he thought that at this point in his life, he would be retired from his work as a dentist. Now his goal is to retire as soon as he can. He's got three kids: one in college, one about to start college, and one who is 10 years old.

When Latorre spends her evenings studying, he sometimes complains that she's ignoring him, she says. "I tell him I'm doing this so you can retire and I'll be able to earn money for us," she says. They've worked out a compromise. She studies only on weeknights and he often joins her. "I read him philosophy and he helps me figure out what the heck they're talking about." ​

... more on site ....

Old men chasing young women: A good thing | ScienceBlog.com

Human ability to scale the so-called “wall of death”—surviving beyond the reproductive years—has been a center of scientific controversy for more than 50 years, Puleston said. “The central question is: Why should a species that stops reproducing by some age stick around afterward?” he said. “Evolutionary theory predicts that, over time, harmful mutations that decrease survival will arise in the population and will remain invisible to natural selection after reproduction ends.” However, in hunter-gatherer societies, which likely represent early human demographic conditions and mating patterns, one-third of people live beyond 55 years, past the reproductive lifespan for women. Furthermore, life expectancy in today’s industrialized countries is 75 to 85 years, with mortality increasing gradually, not abruptly, following female menopause.

Anyways... What's the board's thoughts? It just seems logical. It isn't just men, and it's well known 30-40 year old women (if they hadn't before) start rediscovering their attraction to high school and college boys. It may not be that every single person is propelled back to youthful lusts, but there is an allure... and it is completely the call of (the wild) nature.

 

[Warrior102]

Personally - my wife of 24 years - looks better today than the day I married her! I'll keep her another 24!!!

 

[Douger]

Many men do it because many women(especially murkin) look like they need to be led to a trough by age 40 something.

 

[editec]

You're overthinking this question.

Normal heterosexual men are to attracted women who appear most fertile. That tends to mean that younger women seem to be more suitable mates.

Women need men who can provide for, and will stick around while the babies are growing up. That tends to mean that women find slightly more mature men more suitable mates.

It's really that simple.

 

[waltky]

Uncle Ferd don't care if dey's older or younger...

... just long as dey's womens.

 

[Iridescence]

You're overthinking this question.

Normal heterosexual men are to attracted women who appear most fertile. That tends to mean that younger women seem to be more suitable mates.

Women need men who can provide for, and will stick around while the babies are growing up. That tends to mean that women find slightly more mature men more suitable mates.

It's really that simple.

While I don't disagree it isn't at all merely 'that simple'. The old addage of men being the ones for fresh perspectives only comes from horrid ignorances. Women are just as needy and all to often women who do become run down and ratty looking in life only do so because their men are no longer the adventure they once were.

Like, in the stars thread someone mentioned the movie 'the good wife' and having seen that movie... I understand a few interesting things about the woman's character. The movie successfully portrayed her as a desperate to get laid by her fantasy man but married to a devoted, loving man.... Flawed, however was their marriage in the way that her husband did not offer any intellectual challenges so off she went chasing her lustful ideologies in an illusion that she, in the end, had to come to an abrupt halt with. Thinking this through and how so closely this comes to many relationships.

What and where is the challenge?? Where does it go? Do we tuck it away? Chase it off? Perhaps the whole drawing down of the moon and evoking the spirit of Christianity's God is to better equip us so that we can effectively eradicate such drab existences and zapp the challenge of living competitive lives as is most rejuvenating(?) to us.

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

My husband is 12 years younger than me.

Didn't plan it that way, it just happened. We've been together 21 years now. If you saw a picture of us together, you probably wouldn't notice the age difference that much. I look younger than I am.

All my previous relationships before him were with men at least 10 years older. The longest relationship I had before was four years.

It's not his age, it's HIM that I love.

 

[Ropey]

Why some men....

I'm more than happy with my wife. I had to wine, dine, romance, sing and play guitar to get her from those other rats. (as opposed to this rat.)

I just imagine the work to do it over again and I shudder. I was far better then than now. No, I'm fine with my wife. I'm amazed that she's still fine with me.

 

[Sherry]

When you say that 15 or 16 year olds are more legal in your mind, in what context...the topic of this thread, or older teenagers??

 

[Moonglow]

When my wife turned forty, I traded her in for two twentys

 

[Ropey]

During my tenure in the courthouse, the late Frederick Barad, was one of Miami's most colorful judges. A survivor of Auschwitz, he spoke with a European accent and was known for his sly humor. Judge Barad was one of my favorites, but he cut me no slack. I once represented a successful orthopedic surgeon in a divorce case from his wife of twenty years. My client was deep in the throes of a mid-life crisis: gold chains, black Porsche, blond bimbos. In opening statement, I tried to minimize these peccadillos. "Sadly, Your Honor, in recent years, the parties have grown apart."

"Sure they have," Judge Barad interjected. "When the doctor's wife turned forty, he traded her in for two twenties."

Paul Levine Official Website

 

[Iridescence]

When I see anyone 30 and younger prosecuted by law for a consentual sexual relationship with a determined 15.....16......etc year old it irritates me. I find it illogical to prosecute an adult for potentially being the necessary grounding in such a determined to have relations individual. What other alternative would there be? Break them up prosecute, and what of the determined youth? We are not discussing children unexposed to society's manipulative call on their sex drives.

 

[AquaAthena]

Men who need younger women do so because it makes THEM feel younger. These are the men who have an issue with aging.

For other men who have great wealth, and are seeking younger, sexy women, it is because they have lost the intrinsic value of anything too much money can bring them, yet have to have the finest of everything. They are often the most unhappy, because all too frequently, it boomerangs. Money can not buy happiness...

( hope this wasn't covered in the OP I didn't have time to read, but I have long held these impressions.)

 

[Sherry]

When I see anyone 30 and younger prosecuted by law for a consentual sexual relationship with a determined 15.....16......etc year old it irritates me. I find it illogical to prosecute an adult for potentially being the necessary grounding in such a determined to have relations individual. What other alternative would there be? Break them up prosecute, and what of the determined youth? We are not discussing children unexposed to society's manipulative call on their sex drives.

So the 30 year old man is off the hook because a 15 year old girl is "determined" to have sex, and he "grounds" her?? Let her make stupid decisions with someone closer to her own age.

 

[Iridescence]

My dad was 30 and my mom 15. I was born 7 days after her 16th birthday. No one supported their relationship but everyone was 'all for' their divorce. My dad has never remarried. My mom has but has been forever resentful.... It is obviously no one else's fault necessarily that they didn't have support or that she didn't have different outlets, however that being said, I see them and their potential friendship remarkable. Opposing forces they certainly are, but profoundly linked in a way that has not been removed regardless of the conditions. *hearts*

 

[whitehall]

"Zest and Zeal" justifies pedophilia? Get some therapy.

 

[IndependntLogic]

I have no idea why older men / younger women end up married so often but I know who resents it: Middle-aged to older women.
I think women with anger, trust-issues, intimacy issues etc... get the angriest about this phenomenon.
I used to belong to the Women's Lawyers Club in a certain city (yes men were allowed). Here's a few things I heard and observed and commented on:

"______ just got a new Porsche. He's having a Midlife Crisis! He is SO compensating! Guess he wants to keep the young girls looking."
"Don't you drive a Porshe?"
"Yes but that's different."
"How?
"I drive one because it's always been my dream car."
"Couldn't that be the case with him?"
Silence.

"She is so obviously with him because he's rich."
"Isn't he an author?"
"Yeah so what?"
"Maybe she's with him because you know, he's got a Deep Soul or whatever."
"Please. It's not like she couldn't find a younger guy with a Deep Soul."
"So then what she should be focused on is youth and beauty?"
Silence

"So all I want is a guy who is reasonably good-looking, reasonably successful, reasonably intelligent, good sense of humor, won't cheat, emotionally available and decent in bed."
"And who's close to your age?"
"Yes of course."
"And you don't think a guy with all those qualities would be attractive to women who are younger than him?"
"Sure but he should want something more. Someone who has substance."
"So you didn't have susbstance in your twenties?"
"Well of course I did but, of forget it, you don't understand."
Obviously.

"Look at him. He loves that she's SO impressed with his accomplishments. That's why he dates younger women. They're so easy to impress. I would never just oooh and ahhh like that."
"Don't you want someone to respect and appreciate your accomplishments?"
"Well of course but it should be a mutual respect."
"So you wouldn't date a guy unless he also makes $400K a year?"
"Nevermind"

I've personally dated women who were anywhere from 22 years younger than me to five years older. Not much taste for women in their early 20's because although several have been brilliant and deep (A concert piano player comes to mind) a few years later, you probably have a different person on your hands. I was certainly different at 30, than at 25. But who knows?
Not all but lots of women in the 35+ bracket have some pretty severe trust issues and resentments toward men. Yeah, that's attractive. Not saying it's their fault that they've been cheated on, gone through ugly divorces or whatever but am saying it's definitely not MY fault they've been through all that. Men pick up on that pretty quickly and head for the hills.
I never hear women b1tch about Demi and Ashton! As a matter of fact, they love to bring it up! They celebrate it! But the reverse indicates something is wrong with a guy. Hmmm. Yeah okay.
Catherine Zeta-Jones didn't have enough money?

So personally, after my divorce, I dated actresses, models (yes, So Cal), PhD's in biotechnology, lawyers and well, you get the idea. The whole spectrum. Eventually I found a woman who had the quality I came to realize I wanted most in a woman. She's sweet. The sweetest woman you would ever meet. Every morning, she brings me a cup of coffee. May not seem like a big deal but it is. In the years we've been together, there's never been a BIG fight. There are no power struggles, no control issues. We're really happy. And yes, she's younger than I am.
You really think any of these theories apply to us? To most couples? I don't think so.
I think that yes, there are men who want a Trophy Wife. Just like the women who want a Trophy Husband. I just don't see the resentment coming from men, when observing a woman who has one.

 

[chesswarsnow]

Sorry bout that,


1. There is a *cut-off* on how much age difference they should have.
2. Heres a prime example.
3. Link:Police: 78-Year-Old Man Kills 21-Year-Old Wife - Miami News Story - WPLG Miami



"PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. -- Police in Port St. Lucie are investigating a bizarre apparent murder-suicide.

Police believe a 78-year-old man shot and killed his 21-year-old wife early Saturday, then set their home on fire before killing himself."



Regards,
SirJamesofTexas

 

[Xchel]

Married and lived in hell with a man for 17 years that was 5 years older than me...now engaged to a man that is 15 years younger than me and couldn't be happier it isn't the age..it is the person you are attracted to..and like the other poster, I don't look my age. My fiancee is 25 and I am 40

 

[Iridescence]

"Zest and Zeal" justifies pedophilia? Get some therapy.

My husband happens to be the younger one... And seemingly accomplished at keeping me from considering anyone younger, but thank you anyways.