Why marriage no longer makes sense

[dilloduck]

Stop Marty---I'm going to puke.

 

[xotoxi]

I consider my wife to be my property.

Does anyone have any issues with that?

Maybe your wife?

No, she doesn't have a problem with it.

She realizes that I paid good money to purchase her from her father. She doesn't want to be considered a bad investment.

 

[BasicGreatGuy]

but beyond the excuses, of wanting my own space, and fear of divorce

I dont think their is a woman out their that can put up with me , and my disabilities, aspergers, ocd, anxiety.

I just feel like ill never find her, because 90% of women want kids, and how will i ever find a patient, kind, loving, sweet, sensual women, who also dont want kids

so i feel hopeless and unworthy.

and socially afraid, because of my aspergers, how will i find a woman who will understand me, and the fact i have an eating disorder

I would love to find a woman who could convince me she could be my dragon, and love me through thick and thin, if youve seen shrek, the donkey ends up with the dragon

so there you go.

my being vulnerable because of your wise words

I truly only wanted a discussion, about marriage.

and some of you, are being very helpful

Let me just throw this in, so everyone knows where I'm coming from when I talk about "real, true marriage and partnerships".

I got pregnant within the first month after my husband and I got married. After I had our son, Nicky, my lower back was so damaged that I ended up bedridden for two months. When I say "bedridden", I mean I couldn't move anything except my arms from the elbow down, because anything else pulled on my back muscles and was excruciating.

My husband's employer didn't have a paternity leave policy, just maternity leave. He went up the chain of command and bullied the company into giving him paternity leave so he could stay home and take care of his invalid wife, brand-new baby, and six-year-old stepdaughter.

For two months, he patiently did physical therapy exercises to help my back, fed me, bathed me, carried me to and from the toilet when I needed to go, and changed my bedclothes around my immobile body so gently and carefully that it hardly hurt me at all. All of this while dealing with the house and two children. He never once got angry or impatient about this that I ever saw, although since we had only been married a year, he had to have wondered at some point whether he'd bought himself a lemon.

A lot of men, dealing with a pregnant woman before the honeymoon was even over and THEN having to deal with an invalid, would have decided they weren't in love anymore and walked out.

This to me is romantic and sexy beyond any hearts, flowers, birds singing and toes tingling you care to name. This is what REAL marriage is: having a partner to work with you through the shit that life dumps on you, and being that partner for someone else, so that together, you can do things that neither of you could do alone.

Your ailments such as they are, are merely a part of who you are. They are not what you are.

Finding the right person for you, is not about finding the person willing to put up with your idiosyncrasies. It is about finding the person that completes the song of your soul. It is about a person seeing the cracks in each one of us, and loving us for who we are and striving to be each and every day, not who they expect us to be.

Get rid of your stinkin thinkin The only thing holding you back in life, is you.

 

[actsnoblemartin]

#1 its actsnoblemartin not marty

#2 nobody is forcing you to view or read this thread, so stop whining

Stop Marty---I'm going to puke.

 

[actsnoblemartin]

absolutely brilliant

but beyond the excuses, of wanting my own space, and fear of divorce

I dont think their is a woman out their that can put up with me , and my disabilities, aspergers, ocd, anxiety.

I just feel like ill never find her, because 90% of women want kids, and how will i ever find a patient, kind, loving, sweet, sensual women, who also dont want kids

so i feel hopeless and unworthy.

and socially afraid, because of my aspergers, how will i find a woman who will understand me, and the fact i have an eating disorder

I would love to find a woman who could convince me she could be my dragon, and love me through thick and thin, if youve seen shrek, the donkey ends up with the dragon

so there you go.

my being vulnerable because of your wise words

I truly only wanted a discussion, about marriage.

and some of you, are being very helpful

Let me just throw this in, so everyone knows where I'm coming from when I talk about "real, true marriage and partnerships".

I got pregnant within the first month after my husband and I got married. After I had our son, Nicky, my lower back was so damaged that I ended up bedridden for two months. When I say "bedridden", I mean I couldn't move anything except my arms from the elbow down, because anything else pulled on my back muscles and was excruciating.

My husband's employer didn't have a paternity leave policy, just maternity leave. He went up the chain of command and bullied the company into giving him paternity leave so he could stay home and take care of his invalid wife, brand-new baby, and six-year-old stepdaughter.

For two months, he patiently did physical therapy exercises to help my back, fed me, bathed me, carried me to and from the toilet when I needed to go, and changed my bedclothes around my immobile body so gently and carefully that it hardly hurt me at all. All of this while dealing with the house and two children. He never once got angry or impatient about this that I ever saw, although since we had only been married a year, he had to have wondered at some point whether he'd bought himself a lemon.

A lot of men, dealing with a pregnant woman before the honeymoon was even over and THEN having to deal with an invalid, would have decided they weren't in love anymore and walked out.

This to me is romantic and sexy beyond any hearts, flowers, birds singing and toes tingling you care to name. This is what REAL marriage is: having a partner to work with you through the shit that life dumps on you, and being that partner for someone else, so that together, you can do things that neither of you could do alone.

Your ailments such as they are, are merely a part of who you are. They are not what you.

Finding the right person for you, is not about finding the person willing to put up with your idiosyncrasies. It is about finding the person that completes the song of your soul. It is about a person seeing the cracks in each one of us, and loving us for who we are and striving to be each and every day, not who they expect us to be.

Get rid of your stinkin thinkin The only thing holding you back in life, is you.

 

[JakeStarkey]

Marriage continues as that wonderful ideal from our the Judeo-Christian heritage for the last 4,000 years. The possibility of creating a fantastic union makes it all the more worthwhile. Every wedding we attend should remind us of the possiblities of a committed relationship.

 

[dilloduck]

absolutely brilliant

but beyond the excuses, of wanting my own space, and fear of divorce

I dont think their is a woman out their that can put up with me , and my disabilities, aspergers, ocd, anxiety.

I just feel like ill never find her, because 90% of women want kids, and how will i ever find a patient, kind, loving, sweet, sensual women, who also dont want kids

so i feel hopeless and unworthy.

and socially afraid, because of my aspergers, how will i find a woman who will understand me, and the fact i have an eating disorder

I would love to find a woman who could convince me she could be my dragon, and love me through thick and thin, if youve seen shrek, the donkey ends up with the dragon

so there you go.

my being vulnerable because of your wise words

I truly only wanted a discussion, about marriage.

and some of you, are being very helpful

Your ailments such as they are, are merely a part of who you are. They are not what you.

Finding the right person for you, is not about finding the person willing to put up with your idiosyncrasies. It is about finding the person that completes the song of your soul. It is about a person seeing the cracks in each one of us, and loving us for who we are and striving to be each and every day, not who they expect us to be.

Get rid of your stinkin thinkin The only thing holding you back in life, is you.

Then go therfore and be a dumbass no more--you are healed, Marty

 

[BasicGreatGuy]

absolutely brilliant

but beyond the excuses, of wanting my own space, and fear of divorce

I dont think their is a woman out their that can put up with me , and my disabilities, aspergers, ocd, anxiety.

I just feel like ill never find her, because 90% of women want kids, and how will i ever find a patient, kind, loving, sweet, sensual women, who also dont want kids

so i feel hopeless and unworthy.

and socially afraid, because of my aspergers, how will i find a woman who will understand me, and the fact i have an eating disorder

I would love to find a woman who could convince me she could be my dragon, and love me through thick and thin, if youve seen shrek, the donkey ends up with the dragon

so there you go.

my being vulnerable because of your wise words

I truly only wanted a discussion, about marriage.

and some of you, are being very helpful

Your ailments such as they are, are merely a part of who you are. They are not what you are.

Finding the right person for you, is not about finding the person willing to put up with your idiosyncrasies. It is about finding the person that completes the song of your soul. It is about a person seeing the cracks in each one of us, and loving us for who we are and striving to be each and every day, not who they expect us to be.

Get rid of your stinkin thinkin The only thing holding you back in life, is you.

Another way to look at it is this... It could very well be, that the woman you will meet and eventually marry still has some work she is doing inside herself as well right now. It could very well be, that she is getting herself and her life in order, so that when you do meet, she can move forward in a relationship without all the past baggage weighing her down.

Spend right now working on you and your life, so that you will be able to move forward in a healthy relationship, without all the fear and anxiety you are allowing to control you.

Love is active not passive. Start thinking positive about yourself and your life. Turn that positive thought into positive action.

Being single is not a crime. I never would have thought I would still be single, but I am. It is not the end of the world.

 

[JakeStarkey]

I think I do see two rough spots for same sex marriage. No diversity if both are of the same sex. If both are lesbians, then an angst--fest takes place for decision making.

 

[ABikerSailor]

Know something Ain't Noble Moron named Marty, I always thought from your deluded posts that you were a little off................

Nice to see that I was right.

I think I see why you don't like the institution of marriage. You are too fucking lazy to work on yourself, you think that your solutions are all in a pill that will take effect in 45 minutes, and if nothing else, you can just walk out the door and it will all fix itself.

You've called me a narcissist, as well as many other things. I guess the only reason that you call others these things (homo, etc.) is because you have absolutely no fucking idea what it is to be a real human.

Quit hiding from yourself, get your shit together, AND THEN maybe some chick will have pity on you.

 

[JD_2B]

god damit, why did you write me a book report.

That website is absolutely the most insane, misogynistic wad of bullshit I have ever fucking seen in my life.

perhaps Never said i agree with everything it says, but ill ask you why is it insane, misogynistic, and bullshit?

I hope I cleared that up for you in the remainder of the post.. =)

First of all- Women who WANT to get married, are not WANTING the man to pay their way..


no, im talking about during the dating phase

We are OBLIGATED to assuring him the self esteem and appreciation that men associate with paying the dinner tabs,

men are stupid for this imho, women work, they should pay their own way

During the dating phase??? Should the woman pay for the man too?

and changing our tires.

women are smart capable creatures, they can change their own tires

I have never. I will not. EVER. I know how.. I just won't do it. My grandmother never put gas in her car, either. Grandpa did that for her. He knew she did not want to get dirty, or be seen shamefully having to inhale dangerous fumes. Grandpa loved her, and so he just kept the tank full for her.

Men NEED to feel like the Alpha Male- the leader, provider, and protector..


those men are stupid, their is no need to be the provider its not the 1950's

Ahh but leader and protector do not get even an honorable mention here? Face it- this is a money game. You dont want to have to show a woman your billfold, is all. Trust me- even if we offer to pay, it is not because we want to- it is to test your alpha male mentality. If you are all that, and a bag of chips, you will foot the bill, and bring us flowers on the next date, too, already paid for and everything. (or you will go roadside and pick them- either way the hunter and gatherer in you is hard at work showing off your masculine and virile abilities.. Y'all know we don't want some pathetic scrub who can't be bothered with trivial things like paying bills and what not.. )

WE, women, do not feel that we NEED any of these things in our lives, in todays world.. (even though those are the qualities that cause us to be primatively attracted to certain men and to date them, and of course marry them.. ) but to be in a successful long term relationship, we have to make a LOT of sacrifices...

1- Men do not tend to be nearly as confident as they try to come across. When we women make more money than they do, or are more capable of kicking some mugger's ass than they are, or have an executive position somewhere, MEN GET INSECURE...

Men are stupid for that

Men are men.. what can I say? Everyone has insecurities. Women do not want to be exploited or oppressed.. men don't want to be overshadowed by a woman's own might. What can ya do.

In the equality based world that we live in, women DO pay most or at least their share of the bills, and take care of the children more than men do, in spite of men being the ones who used to bear the primary role of child-rearing, before women entered the workplace..

nothing wrong with men taking care of children

Excellent answer! =D

2- Women rearing the kids now has become some kind of "gender role" in the eyes of men..

and im against it being assumed men or women should have to do anything, everything should be negotiated

And I think that none of this should be negotiable.. It should be a mutually satisfying and mutually beneficial sharing. Parents ought to love their children enough that they fight to spend more time with them. But still, it was a decent answer.. I got your drift. ;-)

Even if one woman's husband loses his job and is capable of staying home with the children, she will still come home to dirty dishes, laundry, and toilet scrubbing, anyways, and all this will be done by HER after she checks the homework, disciplines them, and puts them to bed.


and i agree men, should split chores and duties down the line.

3- After all this, the woman just wants a fucking shoulder rub, a nice hot bubble bath, or a little "me time", so that she can RELAX.

I agree with you

Men can not seem to get this through their thick fucking skulls.

fair enough, good point.


No.. They want SEX to relax, and they will CONTINUE to be self loathing little assholes to her all because she has a REAL HEADACHE.

I agree

Guess who caused that REAL headache??? The man did- not fulfilling HIS end of the responsibilities..

I agree


4- So the woman and man fight, and the woman's cortisol levels go up another notch.. Instead of her getting a half hour of alone time, and him enjoying some sports show for a half hour, it ESCALATES. She can't shrug him off, and the cortisol levels increase, thereby killing any chance of her naturally burning calories in her day to day routine.. This is how women GAIN weight.


I did not know that

Oh its true.. Google "cortisol" and you will see that it is a stress hormone that reduces metabolism, causing people to gain weight mainly around the midsection.. This can be sexy on a man, but women have this waist/hip ratio thing that is idolized by men (its another primitive thing- something to do with childbearing) so gaining weight in the belly and hips is not the best way to look when she's got her lingerie on and is bringing sexy back to the bedroom..

5- She decides to get in the bath, once the fighting dies off (because he races off to the bedroom to pout) and relaxes. A half hour later, she is ready to fuck her man like a bunny, but since he was too piggish to give her a lousy half hour, and chose to lay in the bed pouting and steaming at her, as if she is "withholding sex"- he then decides to be a DICK and do her one back- and ACTUALLY REFUSES SEX TO HER. ...and this is why women end up not having sex with their man that night..

Did not know this

OMG really? Well, maybe you are not an asshole the way my exes all were, lol.. Who knows. I am a bit jaded still.. It may not be all men- It definitely didnt happen much to me, but when it did, it was pointedly due to my not being relaxed and ready, and the bf taking it as if I was just being stubborn or whatever, and feeling dissed, I guess.

6- So there is another build up of tension, and the next day, she turns to ice cream, which the cortisol is holding onto the fat from, and gains a little extra weight. This pattern of male dominating behavior continues on a regular basis, even if not daily (because the woman, being the one to always pick up the slack anyways, will eventually cave, like she does when he "tries" to do housework and fails miserably on purpose, just to get HER to do that too..) because MEN do not PICK UP their share of the household, childcare, and emotional responsibilities to their women.

that is sad

OK So maybe I am REALLY jaded still.. But that is my experience, and what I learned from a few great books, and sociology and psychology classes, so hmmmm..

Weight is gained (on both sides, you should know) opportunities to have sex are lost, and eventually the tension builds up to the point that one of the partners ends up deciding to end the relationship, in whatever way they choose- divorce initiated by either side, the man cheating, the man verbally abusing/hitting/ pushing the woman, the woman going out dancing with her friends, just for that half hour of peace while she is "getting ready" and to get away from the kids, etc.. substance abuse, failure to continue helping with bills, the children, etc.. The woman quitting putting on make up and nice clothes to impress him and get him to be loving again.. ETC.

some women are domestically violent too, but i agree with the rest of what you said

That is true.. But men and women are so much different chemically, neurologically, that it seems to happen in a more severe and frequent manner when a man is being hurtful to a woman, unless the woman has mental or emotional dysfunction, or is a substance abuser, that is. Even so- men can be this way too, you know, substance abusers or having emotional problems, which only makes a codependent woman more susceptible. I think that women are more frequently at risk than men are, just because women are more prone to being codependent to the violence and staying around. Well, That is all for another topic, I'm sure. =)

THEN on the other hand, there are these other women who know exactly how to deal with all of these things from the word GO-

1- When dating, dont even let him touch you for the first few weeks, and dont sleep with him for a few months at least..
2- Talk sweetly and establish boundaries and rules, as well as expectations of what she wants the future to hold for her..
3- Have sex at least twice a week.. just to keep him sassified..
4- Share chores and other responsibilities, preferably BEFORE having some jerk's kids..
5- Insist on him holding the doors and pulling chairs out for her- She folds his clothes and lays them out for him.. He can open a fucking door and actually learn how to BE a REAL man for her.
6- She knows exactly when he is telling the world he loves her- He introduces her as his woman, or his girlfriend, his chick, etc, and holds her hand or drapes his arm protectively around her in the presence of company, and possibly in public, too.
7- She is not co-dependent (as this lousy ass fucktard website seems to think that all women should be) and is TOTALLY willing to leave him, should he EVER fuck up, willfully, by intimidating, manipulating, verbally or physically abusing, taking advantage of, or being in any way disrespectful to his woman.
8- She appreciates his efforts to be the "alpha male", when he purchases the groceries for her, to cook a nice dinner for the two of them, or offers her a sandwich even, when she is living paycheck to paycheck. She even lets him know she appreciates his referral to a buddy who runs an inexpensive chop-shop, when her radiator goes out..

You FUCKING MEN do NOT know what women have to go through when we have to deal with ASSHOLE MEN like the ones who read this website and take it to heart.

There IS such a thing as equality in relationships, but it STILL takes TWO to tango. When FUCKTARD MEN figure this out, we will all be MUCH better off!!!!

wow, i dont normally say this, but you put me in my place. My respect level for you just went 1000% up. Nice job

Awwwwww... Ur so sweet. Hey- Women can learn to be more demanding, though, too.. and this would help solve a lot of relationship problems and marital issues, from the start..

Personally, I would want someone who is demanding of me, and has borders and carries himself like a confident, already happy person should. I would want this because I don't want to be that "only" someone in someone's life.. I want a well balanced person to whom I can bring my own variety and balance and harmony.. who would like to do the same for me, too.

<<<Time for some POETRY>>>

I don't need a perfect man..

I just want someone who is loving and still lovable, busy, but finds the time, intelligent but not a smartass, comfortable in his own skin, and wanting to get comfortable in mine..
Empathetic but not pathetic, dominant but not my boss, cheerful but not manic, and considerate without acting like a doormat. I know this is a lot to ask for.. He is more than typical, but the world sees him as the average Joe.

/Poetry

<bows, curtsies, blows kisses>



Thank you ... You are a wonderful audience!! Im here all week!!! Thank you, thank you.. No autographs, please!! Really.. =)

 

[actsnoblemartin]

you are purely an asshole, that like a few others on this board only takes pleasure in starting fights and attempting to tear people down.

I know who I am and unlike you I have the balls to call myself out when im wrong as much as i would call you or anyone else out. And im working on my problems, but im not gonna attempt to have a discussion with someone who pretends to be a human lol, and then starts fights with people simply cause he doesnt like them

apparently, your not so noble yourself. and funny, i never claimed to be noble, its a tribute you idiot.

sheesh.

way to spin, like a top, and make stuff up

Know something Ain't Noble Moron named Marty, I always thought from your deluded posts that you were a little off................

Nice to see that I was right.

I think I see why you don't like the institution of marriage. You are too fucking lazy to work on yourself, you think that your solutions are all in a pill that will take effect in 45 minutes, and if nothing else, you can just walk out the door and it will all fix itself.

You've called me a narcissist, as well as many other things. I guess the only reason that you call others these things (homo, etc.) is because you have absolutely no fucking idea what it is to be a real human.

Quit hiding from yourself, get your shit together, AND THEN maybe some chick will have pity on you.

 

[Cecilie1200]

not so much getting the milk for free, but i dont need a public committment, it should be between me and her.

debatably, if thats a word lol, you have a point, but i dont think marriage is neccesary or good for all people, not sure what percentage it is good for

Yeah, well, you know what "I don't need a public commitment, it should be between me and her" says to me? It says, "I'm looking to keep my options open and hedge my bets for when I get bored and want an escape route." I wouldn't enter a business partnership on a handshake agreement, and I sure the hell won't enter a lifetime partnership based on your promise of warm, fuzzy feelings. Jump in the deep end, tie yourself down, SIGN THE FRIGGING CONTRACT, or don't waste my fucking time.


I understand your position, and it makes sense up to a point. But dont people need their space, and does a contract prevent the disolution of the business or relationship, does it prevent cheating, or the spouse physically or mentally harming the other?


If you're not willing to make the commitment in front of God, our families, and the courts, then you're not making a commitment at all.


Marriage is good for everyone, provided they're having a marriage for real, not a complicated, legalized infatuation. A real, true partnership for the long haul is stronger than the sum of its parts, and good for everyone involved.

You are making me really think about this, which is the reason I made this post. Contrary to what some might think, I wanted to discuss the issue of marriage, is it good or bad.

I wish i could rep you again, you are quite intelligent, and i appreciate your words.

I tend to agree with Jeff Foxworthy, in that "I need my space" is half a sentence. The other half is ". . . without you in it". That's what people are really saying when they utter that line.

This is not to say that married people don't occasionally need alone time, or that making that ultimate commitment precludes you from having it. A real marriage that's truly about bolstering and supporting each other recognizes that and provides for each person's needs and growth. It makes you better and stronger than you could have been alone. I can tell you that I have grown in ways since my marriage that I couldn't even have imagined while single.

No, the contract doesn't preclude dissolution or cheating or anything else. That's not the point. The purpose of the contract isn't to guarantee that nothing bad will ever happen. The COMMITMENT does that. The purpose of the contract is to really make that commitment. If you're not willing to put it down on paper, say it in front of people, give that other person the power over you, then you haven't really made a commitment, and THAT is the point.

 

[Cecilie1200]

but beyond the excuses, of wanting my own space, and fear of divorce

I dont think their is a woman out their that can put up with me , and my disabilities, aspergers, ocd, anxiety.

I just feel like ill never find her, because 90% of women want kids, and how will i ever find a patient, kind, loving, sweet, sensual women, who also dont want kids

so i feel hopeless and unworthy.

and socially afraid, because of my aspergers, how will i find a woman who will understand me, and the fact i have an eating disorder

I would love to find a woman who could convince me she could be my dragon, and love me through thick and thin, if youve seen shrek, the donkey ends up with the dragon

so there you go.

my being vulnerable because of your wise words

I truly only wanted a discussion, about marriage.

and some of you, are being very helpful

Let me just throw this in, so everyone knows where I'm coming from when I talk about "real, true marriage and partnerships".

I got pregnant within the first month after my husband and I got married. After I had our son, Nicky, my lower back was so damaged that I ended up bedridden for two months. When I say "bedridden", I mean I couldn't move anything except my arms from the elbow down, because anything else pulled on my back muscles and was excruciating.

My husband's employer didn't have a paternity leave policy, just maternity leave. He went up the chain of command and bullied the company into giving him paternity leave so he could stay home and take care of his invalid wife, brand-new baby, and six-year-old stepdaughter.

For two months, he patiently did physical therapy exercises to help my back, fed me, bathed me, carried me to and from the toilet when I needed to go, and changed my bedclothes around my immobile body so gently and carefully that it hardly hurt me at all. All of this while dealing with the house and two children. He never once got angry or impatient about this that I ever saw, although since we had only been married a year, he had to have wondered at some point whether he'd bought himself a lemon.

A lot of men, dealing with a pregnant woman before the honeymoon was even over and THEN having to deal with an invalid, would have decided they weren't in love anymore and walked out.

This to me is romantic and sexy beyond any hearts, flowers, birds singing and toes tingling you care to name. This is what REAL marriage is: having a partner to work with you through the shit that life dumps on you, and being that partner for someone else, so that together, you can do things that neither of you could do alone.

I feel for you, because my best friend has Asberger's, and also a problem much worse than an eating disorder, which I'm not at liberty to discuss. Let me just say that it has left him afraid his entire life that he will never be able to successfully have a romantic relationship with a woman. But let me also say that, were circumstances different, I would marry him in a heartbeat, because he's a wonderful human being, which trumps all the quirks and issues. And I know several women who also think he's very much worth the effort of working through the problems, so they ARE out there.

Don't think of yourself as broken or defective or less than other guys. You're just different, and quirky, and trust me when I tell you that so-called "normal" men frequently have much more debilitating problems relationship-wise than you do. Learn to view your differences as assets when you can, and focus on the things you have to offer a woman, that would make her lucky to have you. I promise they exist.

 

[Cecilie1200]

absolutely brilliant

Your ailments such as they are, are merely a part of who you are. They are not what you are.

Finding the right person for you, is not about finding the person willing to put up with your idiosyncrasies. It is about finding the person that completes the song of your soul. It is about a person seeing the cracks in each one of us, and loving us for who we are and striving to be each and every day, not who they expect us to be.

Get rid of your stinkin thinkin The only thing holding you back in life, is you.

Another way to look at it is this... It could very well be, that the woman you will meet and eventually marry still has some work she is doing inside herself as well right now. It could very well be, that she is getting herself and her life in order, so that when you do meet, she can move forward in a relationship without all the past baggage weighing her down.

Spend right now working on you and your life, so that you will be able to move forward in a healthy relationship, without all the fear and anxiety you are allowing to control you.

Love is active not passive. Start thinking positive about yourself and your life. Turn that positive thought into positive action.

Being single is not a crime. I never would have thought I would still be single, but I am. It is not the end of the world.

There is that. I didn't get married until I was twenty-six, and before that, I was convinced that I was going to be alone forever. Looking back, I can say that it's a good thing I didn't meet him before I did, because I wasn't ready.

Basicgreatguy - who absolutely deserves that name, btw - is absolutely right. You don't have to wait to meet someone to start being the boyfriend and husband you want to be. Start working on making yourself and your life ready for that day right now.

 

[ABikerSailor]

you are purely an asshole, that like a few others on this board only takes pleasure in starting fights and attempting to tear people down.

I know who I am and unlike you I have the balls to call myself out when im wrong as much as i would call you or anyone else out. And im working on my problems, but im not gonna attempt to have a discussion with someone who pretends to be a human lol, and then starts fights with people simply cause he doesnt like them

apparently, your not so noble yourself. and funny, i never claimed to be noble, its a tribute you idiot.

sheesh.

way to spin, like a top, and make stuff up

Know something Ain't Noble Moron named Marty, I always thought from your deluded posts that you were a little off................

Nice to see that I was right.

I think I see why you don't like the institution of marriage. You are too fucking lazy to work on yourself, you think that your solutions are all in a pill that will take effect in 45 minutes, and if nothing else, you can just walk out the door and it will all fix itself.

You've called me a narcissist, as well as many other things. I guess the only reason that you call others these things (homo, etc.) is because you have absolutely no fucking idea what it is to be a real human.

Quit hiding from yourself, get your shit together, AND THEN maybe some chick will have pity on you.

Hey Ain't Noble Moron named Marty.........

Get off the fucking cross........we could use the wood.

 

[JD_2B]

Check this website out.. I would not suggest using it alone, but it seems to be a heartfelt and genuine attempt at a book that can help loved ones to deal with a loved one who has asperger's..

Asperger's Syndrome Survival Guide - Your Child CAN be Happy!

ANM I think you could also benefit from reading a book like this, because this gives you an idea of how people who are not in the autistic spectrum generally live and feel, and cope with difficulties in life, which can be hard even for someone whose brain is more normal than yours. ;-) I would also reccommend a support group, even if you prefer isolation sometimes. A support group can be a good sounding board for you, and help you find coping strategies that might help you in your day to day relationships also. =)

 

[CurveLight]

Children deserve two parents. Period.

Kids deserve good providers. The "they need a mother and father" mantra is code for "We want to maintain a patriarchal structure."

 

[CurveLight]

NoMarriage.com - Why marriage no longer makes sense.

Traditional marriage balances different privileges and obligations for men and women. Modern woman wants all the benefits of "equality" without any of the responsibilities.

Traditional Western culture balanced special privileges for women with special obligations, and the same for men.

Equality states that no one get special privileges, and that responsibilities and rights should be equally shared.

Either system is balanced and fair. The problem with modern Western culture is that many women want only the positives from both systems:

They want special privileges from the traditional system (men paying, being "gentlemen" by using special deferential manners and language to women, being the main breadwinner, etc) but not the old-fashioned obligations (being modest and ladylike, being a housewife, etc).

That website looks like it was put together by an overweight impotent child in a biologically adult body.

 

[CurveLight]

I dont disagree with you there, but I dont believe men is financially, spiritually, or emotionally advantageous for a man to get married under todays climate.

Children deserve two parents. Period.

Why? Because women are closer to autonomy?