Why Kids are so Rude these Days:

[High_Gravity]

Sure have. She doesn't like to be told what to do in an organized class, she'd rather they get out the equipment and she can choose what she does. That gets a big "too bad" from Mom.

I did with my kids what my mom did with me. If I faked being sick, she faked thinking I was sick and made me spend the entire day in bed, trying to sleep, with nothing to eat but chicken soup and toast. I think I pulled that twice.

Which is a given. But she really, really hates basketball and introductory gymnastics. I never liked basketball much either, and I understand she gets bored with scales and rolls when she's up to learning the bars in her regular gymnastics class, but it's a required class and she must do as she's told. End of story.

Unfortunately she still has 4 unnecessary absences on her transcript along with 2 necessary ones, so if she gets legitimately sick and has to miss several days for the flu or something I'm getting a knock on the door from the truancy officers.

They actually have truancy officers where you live? where were they when I was in school?

 

[The Infidel]

I did with my kids what my mom did with me. If I faked being sick, she faked thinking I was sick and made me spend the entire day in bed, trying to sleep, with nothing to eat but chicken soup and toast. I think I pulled that twice.

I knew I wasnt the only one who's mom figured that out

 

[Zoom-boing]

Kids are the way they are because in recent years parents decided to stop being parents to their brats and started being their friends instead.

I've stated that more times than I can count on here and irl. Parents need to stop pussy-footing around being their kid's BFFs and get down to the job of parenting. Be their friend when they're adults.

 

[Jeremy]

My daddy was a kind and gentle man...

 

[manifold]

There's nothing more aggravating than having to discipline someone elses kid at the park because he's acting like an asshole yet his mother/father doesn't seem to notice or care.

 

[logical4u]

Is it just me or is being a parent these days much harder than it used to be? anyone here that can vouch for this?

Why would it be harder?

If you go to pee and your kid is hurt, you have crimminal charges brought against you.
If you give your kid a swat on the butt, you have.....charges
If you don't discipline your child, people are telling you that you should
The school wants to teach your child everything that is important (especially if it is against your beliefs), and then complains that they are not learning the RRRs, and are not well behaved
If you leave your child in the car to pump gas, you have....charges
If you let your child out to play, some pervert is trying to kidnap them
If you let your child walk to school, some pervert ....
If your child is smart, you are lectured by the school about how they shouldn't be bored, the school is concentrating on children that "need" more attention
If your child is not smart, the school is trying to get them labeled and on medication, so they can claim "problem child" for more money
If you teach your child about G*d, the school does everything it can to make the parent look like a superstitous lout (then the child disrespects the parent)
If you do drugs, the "system" will defend your "right" to keep your ignored child, and watch them descend into despair
If you will not work to feed your child, the "system" will encourage your child to grow up to be "just like you"

If I missed the bus, I walked to school.
If I misbehaved, the nearest adult would discipline me (spank), and then when I got home, I was "disciplined", again
My teachers were allowed to defend themselves and would throw a misbehaving child out of the classroom (they did not come back until they were "disciplined")
I was taught my parents' religion and attended church during school hours on special days
My parents could spank me in front of the local police, and it never occurred to them that was "abuse"
Children were taken to the emergency room (for accidents) by parents at homes they were visiting (and there were thank you(s), not lawsuits)
My "early" teachers NEVER said anything that could be considered condescending towards my parents
I slept in a room with lead paint
I rode horses and bikes without helmets
I ate fruit and vegtables straight from the plant
I played outside for hours without my parents checking on me
I was told to do chores and understood that doing them was easier than what would happen if I didn't do them

Why would it be harder?

 

[Zoom-boing]

I did with my kids what my mom did with me. If I faked being sick, she faked thinking I was sick and made me spend the entire day in bed, trying to sleep, with nothing to eat but chicken soup and toast. I think I pulled that twice.

My son (the special needs kid) was a master manipulator (we've been onto him for years! lol). He learned early that the squeaky wheel gets the oil. I used to get phones calls constantly from his teachers and/or the nurse saying 'he's sick, he's really complaining that his ear hurts, blah, blah, blah'. At first I'd go get him but when 1 out of 7 times he was sick and the rest he was fine? I drew the line and told the school 'no fever, no home'. Period end of discussion, problem solved. I also told my kids the same thing. Unless they're puking or have diarrhea they go to school. My youngest was pulling the 'fake sick' act quite a bit. Once or twice I let her stay home (I'm nice; everyone needs a mental health day, imo) but I put my foot down hard when she started abusing it and she hasn't been home since. Despite the 'but momommmmm' whine. lol

 

[goldcatt]

I did with my kids what my mom did with me. If I faked being sick, she faked thinking I was sick and made me spend the entire day in bed, trying to sleep, with nothing to eat but chicken soup and toast. I think I pulled that twice.

Which is a given. But she really, really hates basketball and introductory gymnastics. I never liked basketball much either, and I understand she gets bored with scales and rolls when she's up to learning the bars in her regular gymnastics class, but it's a required class and she must do as she's told. End of story.

Unfortunately she still has 4 unnecessary absences on her transcript along with 2 necessary ones, so if she gets legitimately sick and has to miss several days for the flu or something I'm getting a knock on the door from the truancy officers.

They actually have truancy officers where you live? where were they when I was in school?

They're the meter maids in their down time.

One of those quaint little things that linger in the backwoods I suppose. And a great idea in general. There should be consequences for parents who don't send their kids to school, just like there should be consequences for kiddos who refuse to do their homework or try to fake an illness every time they have a class they don't like.

I understand the schools are thinking of the parents who raise hell when their kids DO have consequences, but strange as it may sound just once I'd love to see somebody other than me hand out a few when they're needed. The old one-two punch (figuratively speaking of course) is always more effective.

 

[Ravi]

I did with my kids what my mom did with me. If I faked being sick, she faked thinking I was sick and made me spend the entire day in bed, trying to sleep, with nothing to eat but chicken soup and toast. I think I pulled that twice.

My son (the special needs kid) was a master manipulator (we've been onto him for years! lol). He learned early that the squeaky wheel gets the oil. I used to get phones calls constantly from his teachers and/or the nurse saying 'he's sick, he's really complaining that his ear hurts, blah, blah, blah'. At first I'd go get him but when 1 out of 7 times he was sick and the rest he was fine? I drew the line and told the school 'no fever, no home'. Period end of discussion, problem solved. I also told my kids the same thing. Unless they're puking or have diarrhea they go to school. My youngest was pulling the 'fake sick' act quite a bit. Once or twice I let her stay home (I'm nice; everyone needs a mental health day, imo) but I put my foot down hard when she started abusing it and she hasn't been home since. Despite the 'but momommmmm' whine. lol

I always let them pick one or two days where they were allowed to play "hooky" as long as they were up to date on their school work and hadn't pulled any fake illnesses. I like a carrot and stick approach.

 

[Blagger]

I remember when I was in school we had a very forthright teacher who would actually berate parents in front of their children during parents' evening on how their childrens bad behaviour in school was a result of bad/neglectful parenting. Honestly, you used to hear scathing criticism along the lines of: 'You're a bloody disgrace.' 'People like you shouldn't have children.' etc etc...

But that was before it was politically incorrect to state the obvious.

 

[strollingbones]

kids are rude cause no one has told or taught them any different.....

mom and dad are too concerned with being the kool parents....sadly enough...its easy to be a bad parent....so damned easy....being a good parent is hard work

 

[High_Gravity]

Which is a given. But she really, really hates basketball and introductory gymnastics. I never liked basketball much either, and I understand she gets bored with scales and rolls when she's up to learning the bars in her regular gymnastics class, but it's a required class and she must do as she's told. End of story.

Unfortunately she still has 4 unnecessary absences on her transcript along with 2 necessary ones, so if she gets legitimately sick and has to miss several days for the flu or something I'm getting a knock on the door from the truancy officers.

They actually have truancy officers where you live? where were they when I was in school?

They're the meter maids in their down time.

One of those quaint little things that linger in the backwoods I suppose. And a great idea in general. There should be consequences for parents who don't send their kids to school, just like there should be consequences for kiddos who refuse to do their homework or try to fake an illness every time they have a class they don't like.

I understand the schools are thinking of the parents who raise hell when their kids DO have consequences, but strange as it may sound just once I'd love to see somebody other than me hand out a few when they're needed. The old one-two punch (figuratively speaking of course) is always more effective.

I can tell you in schools in bad areas parents really can't send their kids to school or anywhere, alot of those kids are out of control and just do what they want, when they want. In alot of these cases its not the parents fault, I have seen parents and single parents try but the kids just plaine do not care. The school I went to did not have truancy officers and the attendance system was broken, for example as long as you showed up to your first period class, no one would say anything if you left for the rest of the day. I ditched school a few times for parties and no one ever said anything to me the next day.

 

[strollingbones]

o and parenting takes guts....i never let someone else...government or anyone tell me how to raise or discipline my child....i have always been willing to defend my parenting style to anyone who cared to put their nose in my business.....my family is the most important thing in the world to me...not some one else's opinion of how i am doing...my son would always say....you are the only..blah blah blah.....i didnt give a damned....if i was the only blah blah blah....i had expectations ...and i raised a young man who has manners...he is rarely rude to anyone..and he knows without a doubt that i would go upside his head in a fucking heartbeat....

 

[goldcatt]

They actually have truancy officers where you live? where were they when I was in school?

They're the meter maids in their down time.

One of those quaint little things that linger in the backwoods I suppose. And a great idea in general. There should be consequences for parents who don't send their kids to school, just like there should be consequences for kiddos who refuse to do their homework or try to fake an illness every time they have a class they don't like.

I understand the schools are thinking of the parents who raise hell when their kids DO have consequences, but strange as it may sound just once I'd love to see somebody other than me hand out a few when they're needed. The old one-two punch (figuratively speaking of course) is always more effective.

I can tell you in schools in bad areas parents really can't send their kids to school or anywhere, alot of those kids are out of control and just do what they want, when they want. In alot of these cases its not the parents fault, I have seen parents and single parents try but the kids just plaine do not care. The school I went to did not have truancy officers and the attendance system was broken, for example as long as you showed up to your first period class, no one would say anything if you left for the rest of the day. I ditched school a few times for parties and no one ever said anything to me the next day.

I've never lived in those areas with little people in tow, but I've lived and worked in them when I was younger. I understand the pressures and the fact that some kids get lost no matter how good the parents are. But there are no excuses for parents even there to just throw their hands in the air and say "I can't do anything" either. And the schools who give in to it are just as bad. You fight for your kids, you sacrifice everything and anything for your kids, you fight your kids themselves if you have to and by god you find a way to win. Nobody has the Cleavers. And there are some darn fine people who come out of those areas and make it.

 

[MaggieMae]

I think they're on to something.

I'm not sure how I'd label this, enabling maybe, but there are other things that go on as well. One thing I'm running into is a first grade girl who is very active on her own but for some reason HATES gym class. Gym day is Monday.

Five weeks ago, on Monday, I get a call from the school nurse at about 10 am. Daughter says she has a headache, is acting listless and needs to go home. I ask if she has a fever or anything else. Nope. But she has to come home. So I go and pick her up. She's fine within 10 minutes of hitting our front door.

Four weeks ago, Monday. I get a call from the school nurse at about 10:15 am. Daughter is acting "listless" and has a "fever" of 98.8. She has to come home. I ask what else is wrong. Nothing, but she has to come home. She's caught a little cold so I don't argue too much, if she's starting in with a fever a day at home won't hurt her. I walk in to pick her up and she's sitting there in her hat and coat, all zipped and bundled up and sweating. I asked the nurse if she'd unwrapped the kid before taking her temp. Nope. But she still has to go home because of her "fever". Daughter is fine within 10 minutes of hitting the front door.

Three weeks ago, Monday. Daughter hands me a note (obviously written by her) that gym class has been moved to Fridays and she wants to wear shoes that aren't sneakers. Nope. A little later that morning, right around 10 am, I get a call from the school nurse. Daughter has a runny nose and needs to come home. No fever, no other issues, but she says she has a headache and is acting "listless". I walk in to the nurse's office and daughter is climbing all over the nurse's desk. I refuse to take her home and explain to the nurse about the hated gym class, I'm told she has to go. Argument starts, I lose. She wasn't even in the front door before she was fine.

Two weeks ago, Monday. Daughter stayed home because she was actually sick.

Last week, about 10:15 am I get a call that Daughter is in the nurse's office with a headache and is again acting "listless". This time I show up with advil and refuse to take her home. Huge argument ensues, I win, little girl has to go to gym class, score one for Mom.

Yesterday, 10:10 am, I get a call from Grandpa that the school nurse called HIM to come pick up Daughter (my phone didn't ring) because she has pink eye. He's practically hyperventilating. I told him that's bullshit, she doesn't get pink eye in less than 2 hours. I went to the school, walked into the nurse's office and there sits Daughter rubbing one very red, watery eye. I bent down, took one look, took the eyelash out of it, showed it to the nurse and told her to send Daughter back to class when it stops watering. Nope, no such luck. She has to go home because she still insists it wasn't the eyelash, it has to be pink eye.

Guess who was fine before we ever hit the front door, and guess who called the District Office raising holy hell? I am such a troublemaker.

Why do so many parents and some school officials think the kids know best? They're kids. That's what they have adults around for, because they don't know squat. Too many of the adults - parents, school nurses, whoever seem to forget that.

That's my rant for the day.

Here's a few suggestions:

First, try to find out why your daughter hates gym class. Are her friends trying to mold her in any way? (I'm thinking the shoe switch). If so, are they skipping gym, and where are they going? Sounds to me like your daughter is being manipulated by her peers.

Second, tell her in no uncertain terms that if she is "fine" as soon as she hits the front door after claiming to be sick, then you will frogmarch her right back to school, pronto. And keep doing this.

Good luck!!

 

[MaggieMae]

All kids are the same as they were 1000 years ago. Some good, some bad.

Except the outside influences are far more dangerous.

 

[MaggieMae]

Have you asked your daughter what she has against gym class? Maybe something else is going on.

Sure have. She doesn't like to be told what to do in an organized class, she'd rather they get out the equipment and she can choose what she does. That gets a big "too bad" from Mom.

I did with my kids what my mom did with me. If I faked being sick, she faked thinking I was sick and made me spend the entire day in bed, trying to sleep, with nothing to eat but chicken soup and toast. I think I pulled that twice.

And no TV. (These days, it should be no TV, no computer, no cell phone.)

 

[MaggieMae]

Sure have. She doesn't like to be told what to do in an organized class, she'd rather they get out the equipment and she can choose what she does. That gets a big "too bad" from Mom.

I did with my kids what my mom did with me. If I faked being sick, she faked thinking I was sick and made me spend the entire day in bed, trying to sleep, with nothing to eat but chicken soup and toast. I think I pulled that twice.

Which is a given. But she really, really hates basketball and introductory gymnastics. I never liked basketball much either, and I understand she gets bored with scales and rolls when she's up to learning the bars in her regular gymnastics class, but it's a required class and she must do as she's told. End of story.

Unfortunately she still has 4 unnecessary absences on her transcript along with 2 necessary ones, so if she gets legitimately sick and has to miss several days for the flu or something I'm getting a knock on the door from the truancy officers.

So maybe you could ask her how she'd like to be held back when school let's out for the summer in order to make up several missed days just because she hated basketball and got "bored" for an hour a week during regular school session.

 

[MaggieMae]

Is it just me or is being a parent these days much harder than it used to be? anyone here that can vouch for this?

Why would it be harder?

If you go to pee and your kid is hurt, you have crimminal charges brought against you.
If you give your kid a swat on the butt, you have.....charges
If you don't discipline your child, people are telling you that you should
The school wants to teach your child everything that is important (especially if it is against your beliefs), and then complains that they are not learning the RRRs, and are not well behaved
If you leave your child in the car to pump gas, you have....charges
If you let your child out to play, some pervert is trying to kidnap them
If you let your child walk to school, some pervert ....
If your child is smart, you are lectured by the school about how they shouldn't be bored, the school is concentrating on children that "need" more attention
If your child is not smart, the school is trying to get them labeled and on medication, so they can claim "problem child" for more money
If you teach your child about G*d, the school does everything it can to make the parent look like a superstitous lout (then the child disrespects the parent)
If you do drugs, the "system" will defend your "right" to keep your ignored child, and watch them descend into despair
If you will not work to feed your child, the "system" will encourage your child to grow up to be "just like you"

If I missed the bus, I walked to school.
If I misbehaved, the nearest adult would discipline me (spank), and then when I got home, I was "disciplined", again
My teachers were allowed to defend themselves and would throw a misbehaving child out of the classroom (they did not come back until they were "disciplined")
I was taught my parents' religion and attended church during school hours on special days
My parents could spank me in front of the local police, and it never occurred to them that was "abuse"
Children were taken to the emergency room (for accidents) by parents at homes they were visiting (and there were thank you(s), not lawsuits)
My "early" teachers NEVER said anything that could be considered condescending towards my parents
I slept in a room with lead paint
I rode horses and bikes without helmets
I ate fruit and vegtables straight from the plant
I played outside for hours without my parents checking on me
I was told to do chores and understood that doing them was easier than what would happen if I didn't do them

Why would it be harder?

I see your points as two separate issues. The first involve parent demands, orchestrated and carried out by school boards according to what the PARENTS have stated they wanted. Trust me, I've been on a school board and know that's exactly the way it happens. You did leave out the part where parents demand that no one child ever "lose" at any school competition. They all must be winners, hence protecting the child from potential low self-esteem.

The second part is a mirror into the past, when there weren't so many potential ominous intrusions lurking everywhere we go and in everything we do.

 

[logical4u]

Is it just me or is being a parent these days much harder than it used to be? anyone here that can vouch for this?

Why would it be harder?

If you go to pee and your kid is hurt, you have crimminal charges brought against you.
If you give your kid a swat on the butt, you have.....charges
If you don't discipline your child, people are telling you that you should
The school wants to teach your child everything that is important (especially if it is against your beliefs), and then complains that they are not learning the RRRs, and are not well behaved
If you leave your child in the car to pump gas, you have....charges
If you let your child out to play, some pervert is trying to kidnap them
If you let your child walk to school, some pervert ....
If your child is smart, you are lectured by the school about how they shouldn't be bored, the school is concentrating on children that "need" more attention
If your child is not smart, the school is trying to get them labeled and on medication, so they can claim "problem child" for more money
If you teach your child about G*d, the school does everything it can to make the parent look like a superstitous lout (then the child disrespects the parent)
If you do drugs, the "system" will defend your "right" to keep your ignored child, and watch them descend into despair
If you will not work to feed your child, the "system" will encourage your child to grow up to be "just like you"

If I missed the bus, I walked to school.
If I misbehaved, the nearest adult would discipline me (spank), and then when I got home, I was "disciplined", again
My teachers were allowed to defend themselves and would throw a misbehaving child out of the classroom (they did not come back until they were "disciplined")
I was taught my parents' religion and attended church during school hours on special days
My parents could spank me in front of the local police, and it never occurred to them that was "abuse"
Children were taken to the emergency room (for accidents) by parents at homes they were visiting (and there were thank you(s), not lawsuits)
My "early" teachers NEVER said anything that could be considered condescending towards my parents
I slept in a room with lead paint
I rode horses and bikes without helmets
I ate fruit and vegtables straight from the plant
I played outside for hours without my parents checking on me
I was told to do chores and understood that doing them was easier than what would happen if I didn't do them

Why would it be harder?

I see your points as two separate issues. The first involve parent demands, orchestrated and carried out by school boards according to what the PARENTS have stated they wanted. Trust me, I've been on a school board and know that's exactly the way it happens. You did leave out the part where parents demand that no one child ever "lose" at any school competition. They all must be winners, hence protecting the child from potential low self-esteem.

The second part is a mirror into the past, when there weren't so many potential ominous intrusions lurking everywhere we go and in everything we do.

There are several issues. My post was to show the contrast between then and now. There are many things that are different, not necessarily better.