Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never get pregnant. Car mechanics tell you the truth. You don't have to stop and think which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress - $5000. Tux rental - $100. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood - all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $5.95 for three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife. You can grow a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.