Why It's Good to Be A Man

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Adam's Apple, May 28, 2005.

  1. Adam's Apple
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    Adam's Apple Senior Member

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    Your last name stays put.

    The garage is all yours.

    Wedding plans take care of themselves.

    Chocolate is just another snack.

    You can never get pregnant.

    Car mechanics tell you the truth.

    You don't have to stop and think which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

    Same work, more pay.

    Wrinkles add character.

    Wedding dress - $5000. Tux rental - $100.

    New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

    One mood - all the time.

    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

    You know stuff about tanks.

    A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

    You can open all your own jars.

    If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

    Your underwear is $5.95 for three-pack.

    Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

    Everything on your face stays its original color.

    The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

    You only have to shave your face and neck.

    You can play with toys all your life.

    Your belly usually hides your big hips.

    One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.

    You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

    You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

    You can grow a mustache.

    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
     
  2. kancer43
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    kancer43 Member

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    lol... sad, funny and true at the same time...
     
  3. Annie
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    Annie Diamond Member

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    From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
    What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder
    about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all
    been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How
    about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

    Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these
    questions:

    If:
    A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

    Then:

    H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
    8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%



    and


    K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
    11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

    But,

    A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
    1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

    And,

    B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
    2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

    AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

    A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
    1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

    So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work
    and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there,
    it's the BullshiT and Ass kissing that will put you over the top
     
  4. archangel
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    archangel Guest

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    No wonder I can't seem to make it over the "Top" "Ass kissing" yuk thats for Gays! :bangheads
     
  5. MyName
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    MyName Guest

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    ROFL
     
  6. Semper Fi
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    Semper Fi VIP Member

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    I think this has been posted before...almost exactly a year ago. Wierd, eh?
     
  7. Hobbit
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    Hobbit Senior Member

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    Girls = Time + Money
    Time = Money
    Girls = Money^2
    Money = root Evil
    Girls = Evil

    Power = Work/Time (physics formula. look it up)
    Time = Money
    Power = Work/Money
    Knowledge = Power
    Knowledge = Work/Money
    Money = Work/Knowledge
    As Knowledge->0, Money->Infinity, regardless of work done.

    One last one that has nothing to do with work or girls.

    a = b
    a^2 = ab
    a^2 - b^2 = ab - b^2
    (a + b)(a - b) = b(a - b)
    a + b = b
    b + b = b
    2b = b
    2 = 1
     

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