Adam's Apple
Senior Member
- Apr 25, 2004
- 4,092
- 449
- 48
Why It's Good to Be a Man
By Mark Patinkin, The Providence Journal 08-MAR-05
_ Three pairs of shoes. Period.
_ Don't have to know what color "teal" is, or even that it's a color.
_ The Kleenex fairy replaces all empty boxes.
_ We do not have a nervous breakdown if we gain five pounds.
_ No need to color hair when it turns gray.
_ Formalwear covered for a lifetime with the purchase of single tuxedo.
_ Don't have to worry that our rear end looks too big in these jeans.
_ No need to match eye shadow to eye color, unless we happen to be Elton John.
_ Can hang wet towel on bathroom door and coats on dining-room chairs.
_ No need to flee house at sight of spider.
_ Can wear same outfit three times a week.
_ Not necessary to take out home-equity loan to purchase makeup.
_ Don't need to know what "bronzer" is.
_ Our shoes not designed by apprentices of Marquis de Sade.
_ No underwire or padding in our underwear.
_ Don't need to clean before the housekeeper gets here.
_ No compunction about weighing ourselves after dinner, with our clothes on.
_ Can drink orange juice out of carton.
_ Our only accessorizing is the watch we wear every day.
_ One small bathroom kit for vacation instead of second suitcase.
_ Instead of a closetful of pricey handbags, with a new one bought every month, one wallet lasts a decade.
_ Can dress like a slob when going to gym.
_ Don't care how we look under fluorescent lights _ or are even aware there's a difference.
_ Newspapers work as placemats.
_ Never have to traumatize partner by asking, "Do I look fat in this?"
_ No need to analyze supposed hidden meaning in friends' comments.
_ The remote control is ours for eternity.
http://www.shns.com/shns/g_index2.cfm?action=detail&pk=PATINKIN-03-08-05
By Mark Patinkin, The Providence Journal 08-MAR-05
_ Three pairs of shoes. Period.
_ Don't have to know what color "teal" is, or even that it's a color.
_ The Kleenex fairy replaces all empty boxes.
_ We do not have a nervous breakdown if we gain five pounds.
_ No need to color hair when it turns gray.
_ Formalwear covered for a lifetime with the purchase of single tuxedo.
_ Don't have to worry that our rear end looks too big in these jeans.
_ No need to match eye shadow to eye color, unless we happen to be Elton John.
_ Can hang wet towel on bathroom door and coats on dining-room chairs.
_ No need to flee house at sight of spider.
_ Can wear same outfit three times a week.
_ Not necessary to take out home-equity loan to purchase makeup.
_ Don't need to know what "bronzer" is.
_ Our shoes not designed by apprentices of Marquis de Sade.
_ No underwire or padding in our underwear.
_ Don't need to clean before the housekeeper gets here.
_ No compunction about weighing ourselves after dinner, with our clothes on.
_ Can drink orange juice out of carton.
_ Our only accessorizing is the watch we wear every day.
_ One small bathroom kit for vacation instead of second suitcase.
_ Instead of a closetful of pricey handbags, with a new one bought every month, one wallet lasts a decade.
_ Can dress like a slob when going to gym.
_ Don't care how we look under fluorescent lights _ or are even aware there's a difference.
_ Newspapers work as placemats.
_ Never have to traumatize partner by asking, "Do I look fat in this?"
_ No need to analyze supposed hidden meaning in friends' comments.
_ The remote control is ours for eternity.
http://www.shns.com/shns/g_index2.cfm?action=detail&pk=PATINKIN-03-08-05
