Why It's Better To Be A Man

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Big Black Dog, Sep 2, 2009.

  1. Big Black Dog
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    Big Black Dog Gold Member Supporting Member

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    Why It’s Better To Be A Man – According To Big Black Dog

    1. We can stand up to pee.
    2. We don’t leak bodily fluids every 28 days or so.
    3. If we’re in a pissy mood it isn’t because of something biological.
    4. We aren’t afraid to scratch where it itches if we’re in public.
    5. When we go shopping we know exactly what we want before we leave the house,
    where to go to buy it, and how much it will cost. No marathons in Walmart.
    6. When a warning light comes on in the dash we know to stop the car and turn off the motor.
    7. It’s no big deal if the toilet seat is left in the up position.
    8. We don’t bitch if we break a fingernail.
    9. We don’t care if the neighbor sees us only in our undies.
    10. If we run out of hot water in the shower it’s no big deal.
    11. We don’t have to keep adjusting a bra strap.
    12. If we bend over we don’t need to worry about somebody looking down our top.
    13. We can be ready to go anywhere in just 10 minutes or less.
    14. We look better bald.
    15. We don’t make a big deal out of a few gray hairs.
    16. We never worry about our panty line showing.
    17. During sex we get to ask “Who’s your Daddy?”
    18. We don’t collect spoons or dishes. We collect power tools!
    19. We completely understand the game of football.
    20. Fish fear us. Women want us!
    21. It’s better to cuddle up with us on a cold winter’s night than a book.
    22. We look better with a mustache then women do.
    23. We can explain how a car’s motor works.
    24. There are very few problems that a six-pack of cold beer can’t solve for us.
    25. We fully understand the importance of NASCAR.
    26. Poker with the guys is better than tea with the ladies.
    27. It doesn’t take 20 minutes for us to decide on what to wear.
    28. We never have to ask “Does this dress make me look fat?”
    29. We understand why a dog likes humping your leg!
    30. We sound better saying “Yes, dear.”
     
  2. chanel
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    chanel Silver Member

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    Why it's Better to Be A Woman: Chanel's short and sweet quote of the day.

    I've got one of "these". And with one of "these", I can get all I want of "those".
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 2
  3. Big Black Dog
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    Big Black Dog Gold Member Supporting Member

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    Can't argue with that...
     
  4. Luissa
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    Luissa Annoying Customer Supporting Member

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    you can have 25
    and if you are in a pissy mood it can be male menopause. lmao
     
  5. Bootneck
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    Bootneck Diamond Member

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    How many men does it take to open a beer?
    None. It should be opened when she brings it.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
    Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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    Why do women have smaller feet than men?
    It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
    them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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    How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
    When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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    How do you fix a woman's watch?
    You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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    Why do men fart more than women?
    Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
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    If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
    The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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    What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
    A woman who won't do what she's told.
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    I married a Miss Right.
    I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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    Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
    a woman's sex drive by 90%.
    It's called a Wedding Cake.
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    Why do men die before their wives?
    They want to.
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    Women will never be equal to men until they can
    walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
    gut, and still think they are sexy.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
    Then God created Man and rested.
    Then God created Woman.
    Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
     

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