Why Do Christians Grieve?

[Coloradomtnman]

If Christians (or any adherent of a monotheistic religion besides Judaism) go to Heaven, or Paradise, and live forever in complete bliss, then why do they fear death, grieve the loss of loved ones (even the ones who also believe), and react with such outrage when people are killed. Shouldn't they be happy for the dearly departed? Shouldn't they be rejoicing? Shouldn't they welcome death?

"Hey, the terrorists just bombed us! Yay!"
********************************

"Hey, Christy!"

"Hi!"

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"My kid just choked on a lincoln log and died!"

"Oh, you must be so proud!"

"Yeah, isn't it great?"
**********************************

 

[LiveUninhibited]

Maybe everybody has doubt deep down, or think people should have the chance to fully experience life before entering into a meaningless existence (bliss)? Or maybe they'll just miss the person in the meantime.

Do babies who die in natural disasters get into heaven for free because they can't comprehend Jesus's sacrifice? The religious mind is very enigmatic to me as well.

 

[xsited1]

If Christians (or any adherent of a monotheistic religion besides Judaism) go to Heaven, or Paradise, and live forever in complete bliss, then why do they fear death, grieve the loss of loved ones (even the ones who also believe), and react with such outrage when people are killed. Shouldn't they be happy for the dearly departed? Shouldn't they be rejoicing? Shouldn't they welcome death?

"Hey, the terrorists just bombed us! Yay!"
********************************

"Hey, Christy!"

"Hi!"

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"My kid just choked on a lincoln log and died!"

"Oh, you must be so proud!"

"Yeah, isn't it great?"
**********************************

Christians grieve because they miss them, because they have a void in their lives. It's called being human.

 

[Amanda]

It is an intriguing question. For me it's up there with why do non-believers bother to mock what they do not believe is true? Perhaps LiveUninhibited is on to something with "Maybe everybody has doubt deep down".

It's certainly food for thought.

 

[Care4all]

Jesus mourned Lazerus's death, before He brought him back to life, that is....

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted"

Mourning takes place among Christians or many that are religious, because we believe that God gave us humanhood as a gift...that our bodies are the temple of God, and any abuse to them is sort of a slap in the face of Him....so this gives people like us, a reason to believe that life has importance verses the spiritual alone, where there is no contact....where our souls might have come from in a sense...and for some reason, because of us subconsciously believing this, we feel a loss and pain when someone that lived on Earth, passes onward....because making the best of their human life, their gift, is over.

of course this is just my opinion, but i think other Christians might feel the same....?

Care

 

[KittenKoder]

Grieving stems from the fear of death, the unknown, in spite of all the faith and religious views no one truly knows what happens after death, and this scares them. Grieving itself isn't bad, it's the "holding onto" the life lost that is often unhealthy, many times turning into obsession. One of my best friends died a while ago, our little group went to the funeral, but right after we all went to celebrate ... you know what, we felt great the next day and talked about all the fun we had when she was alive. We remembered her, and many still do, but we also know you cannot dwell on it too much. Missing them is fine, but no one should ever "leave a hole" in you if they leave your presence in any way, clinging to the past like that, focusing on the one final event, trivializes the persons life, making what they did while living meaningless.

 

[Coloradomtnman]

Grieving stems from the fear of death, the unknown, in spite of all the faith and religious views no one truly knows what happens after death, and this scares them. Grieving itself isn't bad, it's the "holding onto" the life lost that is often unhealthy, many times turning into obsession. One of my best friends died a while ago, our little group went to the funeral, but right after we all went to celebrate ... you know what, we felt great the next day and talked about all the fun we had when she was alive. We remembered her, and many still do, but we also know you cannot dwell on it too much. Missing them is fine, but no one should ever "leave a hole" in you if they leave your presence in any way, clinging to the past like that, focusing on the one final event, trivializes the persons life, making what they did while living meaningless.

I'd even go so far as to say faith and religious beliefs stem from fear of death, the unknown, and meaninglessness.

For the rest of your resonse: it seems like a healthy perspective. I haven't lost someone close to me, well, a human, but when the cat I'd owned since the age of 10 died when I was 26, I was crushed. Its been almost 6 years since her death and I still have moments when regret for not treating her better and not being there when she died (I was at a friend's) will blindside me and cause me to feel awful. Even writing this brings up those emotions. About two weeks ago I finally felt ready and adopted two kittens. I love them both and treat them like the most spoiled of children. Its in an effort to make up for those regrets I have about Cinnamon (my first cat). Not that they can do whatever they want (I bought a spray bottle), but I play with them, feed them very well, and make sure they get plenty of attention and love. This is how I make meaning of Cinnamon's life, so that she didn't live for nothing.

For me, that is how we live on. In the memories of the ones who love us.

 

[KittenKoder]

Grieving stems from the fear of death, the unknown, in spite of all the faith and religious views no one truly knows what happens after death, and this scares them. Grieving itself isn't bad, it's the "holding onto" the life lost that is often unhealthy, many times turning into obsession. One of my best friends died a while ago, our little group went to the funeral, but right after we all went to celebrate ... you know what, we felt great the next day and talked about all the fun we had when she was alive. We remembered her, and many still do, but we also know you cannot dwell on it too much. Missing them is fine, but no one should ever "leave a hole" in you if they leave your presence in any way, clinging to the past like that, focusing on the one final event, trivializes the persons life, making what they did while living meaningless.

I'd even go so far as to say faith and religious beliefs stem from fear of death, the unknown, and meaninglessness.

For the rest of your resonse: it seems like a healthy perspective. I haven't lost someone close to me, well, a human, but when the cat I'd owned since the age of 10 died when I was 26, I was crushed. Its been almost 6 years since her death and I still have moments when regret for not treating her better and not being there when she died (I was at a friend's) will blindside me and cause me to feel awful. Even writing this brings up those emotions. About two weeks ago I finally felt ready and adopted two kittens. I love them both and treat them like the most spoiled of children. Its in an effort to make up for those regrets I have about Cinnamon (my first cat). Not that they can do whatever they want (I bought a spray bottle), but I play with them, feed them very well, and make sure they get plenty of attention and love. This is how I make meaning of Cinnamon's life, so that she didn't live for nothing.

For me, that is how we live on. In the memories of the ones who love us.

Actually, you are very correct. The whole purpose of religion was to give people a reason to live, and to do the right thing, by offering myths and lore about what happens after death (the punishment and reward). The difference is that when organized religion came into being they started this whole "you can only get a reward if you follow us, though if you do you can do anything you want and still get the reward". Thus is why the organized religion gathered so many followers (and why their leaders tend to be very corrupt). Lately the christian followers have grown beyond that, some of them anyway, and little by little they are starting to understand the folly of such beliefs and the harm it does to society. Muslims are recently starting to get it, but still it's very few of them as of yet.

 

[Againsheila]

If Christians (or any adherent of a monotheistic religion besides Judaism) go to Heaven, or Paradise, and live forever in complete bliss, then why do they fear death, grieve the loss of loved ones (even the ones who also believe), and react with such outrage when people are killed. Shouldn't they be happy for the dearly departed? Shouldn't they be rejoicing? Shouldn't they welcome death?

"Hey, the terrorists just bombed us! Yay!"
********************************

"Hey, Christy!"

"Hi!"

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"My kid just choked on a lincoln log and died!"

"Oh, you must be so proud!"

"Yeah, isn't it great?"
**********************************

We don't grieve for them, we grieve for ourselves, because they are no longer in our lives.

 

[Coloradomtnman]

Jesus mourned Lazerus's death, before He brought him back to life, that is....

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted"

Mourning takes place among Christians or many that are religious, because we believe that God gave us humanhood as a gift...that our bodies are the temple of God, and any abuse to them is sort of a slap in the face of Him....so this gives people like us, a reason to believe that life has importance verses the spiritual alone, where there is no contact....where our souls might have come from in a sense...and for some reason, because of us subconsciously believing this, we feel a loss and pain when someone that lived on Earth, passes onward....because making the best of their human life, their gift, is over.

of course this is just my opinion, but i think other Christians might feel the same....?

Care

Do you fear death Care? Do feel doubt that when you die you'll go to Heaven? If there were no afterlife and when you die that's it, would you find that depressing?

As an agnostic I fear death. I don't want to die. I don't want my experiences to end, and I don't feel as though I have achieved what I feel would make a lasting legacy. It is depressing to think that there is no afterlife. But, there are other ways for me to deal with such points of view and that is how I define my human spirit.

 

[KittenKoder]

*smrks* Funny thing, I don't fear death. What I do fear is living forever myself. I welcome the chance to move from this life, no matter what is next it can't be much worse. The only thing I do fear that's related is pain, when I die I want it to be completely painless ... ground zero of a nuclear holocaust would be perfect, or if my brain just stopped, something like that. Jumping off a building .. ouch. Gun shot ... BIG ouch. Poison even hurts. But the death itself ... bring it on!

 

[Againsheila]

Jesus mourned Lazerus's death, before He brought him back to life, that is....

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted"

Mourning takes place among Christians or many that are religious, because we believe that God gave us humanhood as a gift...that our bodies are the temple of God, and any abuse to them is sort of a slap in the face of Him....so this gives people like us, a reason to believe that life has importance verses the spiritual alone, where there is no contact....where our souls might have come from in a sense...and for some reason, because of us subconsciously believing this, we feel a loss and pain when someone that lived on Earth, passes onward....because making the best of their human life, their gift, is over.

of course this is just my opinion, but i think other Christians might feel the same....?

Care

Do you fear death Care? Do feel doubt that when you die you'll go to Heaven? If there were no afterlife and when you die that's it, would you find that depressing?

As an agnostic I fear death. I don't want to die. I don't want my experiences to end, and I don't feel as though I have achieved what I feel would make a lasting legacy. It is depressing to think that there is no afterlife. But, there are other ways for me to deal with such points of view and that is how I define my human spirit.

There are times I fear death, there are times I don't. When I go, I hope to go doing something heroic rather than a long slow death from illness.

I would like to be remembered.

Think about this, even if you don't believe in an afterlife, as long as you are remembered, a part of you will live on.

 

[Coloradomtnman]

We don't grieve for them, we grieve for ourselves, because they are no longer in our lives.

That seems like a rationalization to me; as though you are reaching for an apt explanation to dismiss any threats to your religious beliefs (or should I say reinforcements to any doubt your my feel the need to suppress).

 

[Againsheila]

We don't grieve for them, we grieve for ourselves, because they are no longer in our lives.

That seems like a rationalization to me; as though you are reaching for an apt explanation to dismiss any threats to your religious beliefs (or should I say reinforcements to any doubt your my feel the need to suppress).

You asked a question, I answered it. You believe as you wish, and I'll believe as I wish.

I think you only asked the question because you wanted to attack religion, you really didn't want an answer, did you?

 

[KittenKoder]

Actually, Sheila has a very valid point, though most don't actually believe that, there are some who do and they usually live by it.

 

[Coloradomtnman]

You asked a question, I answered it. You believe as you wish, and I'll believe as I wish.

I think you only asked the question because you wanted to attack religion, you really didn't want an answer, did you?

I want a real answer. Do you really believe that all these people who believe in an afterlife, believe it without any doubt, and although they lose a loved one or feel a perceived righteous anger because of a wrongful death that was in the news, that they mourn because they miss that person or are angry because those who were wrongfully killed will be missed? Even though those who've died have gone to a place of overwhelming peace and happiness? To me that seems contrived. Perhaps you really do believe it, but if I have a friend or family member who moves to Botswana and I may never see them again, I don't grieve beyond just wishing we could've hung out more. If they died and I would never see them again, then my pain would seem equivalent to the pain of other mourning people whose loved ones have just gone to paradise.

 

[del]

We don't grieve for them, we grieve for ourselves, because they are no longer in our lives.

That seems like a rationalization to me; as though you are reaching for an apt explanation to dismiss any threats to your religious beliefs (or should I say reinforcements to any doubt your my feel the need to suppress).

when you lose someone you love, like a parent or spouse, you'll realize how wrong you are. i'm not criticizing you, BTW, you just haven't had that experience yet. you'll grieve because that person is no longer in your life.
religion, or lack of it, really has almost nothing to do with it, being human does.

 

[catzmeow]

I don't believe in heaven, but when my grandma died, her funeral was more of a celebration for a life well-lived. I was sad, sure, because I missed her, and I still miss her all the time, but my grandma really LIVED.

The worst funeral I've been to was that of a family - mom, dad, and two kids that were killed by a drunk driver. Horrible.

Even if you believe that you're going to see them eventually, there is a sense of loss. My boyfriend goes to Korea tomorrow for a couple of weeks and I'm going to be sad while he's gone even that short period of time. I mean, I won't be bawling or anything, but I will miss him.

 

[Againsheila]

You asked a question, I answered it. You believe as you wish, and I'll believe as I wish.

I think you only asked the question because you wanted to attack religion, you really didn't want an answer, did you?

I want a real answer. Do you really believe that all these people who believe in an afterlife, believe it without any doubt, and although they lose a loved one or feel a perceived righteous anger because of a wrongful death that was in the news, that they mourn because they miss that person or are angry because those who were wrongfully killed will be missed? Even though those who've died have gone to a place of overwhelming peace and happiness? To me that seems contrived. Perhaps you really do believe it, but if I have a friend or family member who moves to Botswana and I may never see them again, I don't grieve beyond just wishing we could've hung out more. If they died and I would never see them again, then my pain would seem equivalent to the pain of other mourning people whose loved ones have just gone to paradise.

Because your friend in Botswana is still alive and even though you suspect you will never see him/her again, you don't know that and you do know that you can contact him/her anytime you really want to. That isn't available if your friend is dead.

You grieve because your loved one is no longer with you, you don't grieve for the departed, they are already gone nothing you can do will affect them. It doesn't matter if you believe in an afterlife or not.

My Aunt knew she was dying and held a "celebration" of her life. We all went to see her one last time. She was happy to see us all and we were happy to see her. When she died, there was no funeral, she didn't want one, she felt she'd already had it. She wanted a wake, and she wanted to be there. It's wonderful that she was able to have her wishes fulfilled. I hope I can do the same when my time comes. I don't want a funeral, I want a party.

Now we are back to the fact that you don't really want an answer to your question, you just wanted to find another way to attack religion.

 

[Againsheila]

We don't grieve for them, we grieve for ourselves, because they are no longer in our lives.

That seems like a rationalization to me; as though you are reaching for an apt explanation to dismiss any threats to your religious beliefs (or should I say reinforcements to any doubt your my feel the need to suppress).

when you lose someone you love, like a parent or spouse, you'll realize how wrong you are. i'm not criticizing you, BTW, you just haven't had that experience yet. you'll grieve because that person is no longer in your life.
religion, or lack of it, really has almost nothing to do with it, being human does.

Which brings us back to the point that he only asked the question so he could find a way to attack religion.