Why Athletes Can't Have Real Jobs

Discussion in 'Humor' started by freeandfun1, Jan 24, 2005.

  1. freeandfun1
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    freeandfun1 VIP Member

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    Why Athletes Can't Have Real Jobs

    Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."
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    New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
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    And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,"

    Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
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    Torrin Polk, University Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
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    Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
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    Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (now that is beautiful)
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    Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height, pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
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    Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."
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    Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
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    Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."
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    Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)
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    Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"
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    Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."
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    Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too ugly to kiss good-by."
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  2. UsaPride
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    UsaPride Senior Member

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    That was hillarious, Free, thanks for posting!!! :D

    My favorite, as hard as it was to choose :
    I want this in my signature, LOL!! I know I talk like this some days, LOL!
     
  3. Johnney
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    Johnney Senior Member

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  4. fuzzykitten99
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    fuzzykitten99 Senior Member

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    you could fill up an entire page with the stuff john madden says.
     
  5. Zhukov
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    Zhukov VIP Member

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    Stu's hardcore. That's all.
     

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