Whiny Friend

[Cecilie1200]

Well, mebbe this could work. I'm sure you know how to deprive her of the pay off she seeks for victimhood, and you can model some basic problem solving techniques for her. Meanwhile, time for Blair to learn a tad more about the ladies, methinks.

Thank the Lord he at least stomped on her massive crush on him and told her that they were never, EVER going to be anything but friends, EVER, and did I mention it's not going to happen?!

Too bad for him that what he wants is essentially me in a younger model. I don't have the heart to tell him I don't come in a younger model. It takes this many years to build a woman like me. Even I wasn't me twenty years ago.

 

[AquaAthena]

How do you go about telling a friend that you think the biggest problem in her life is her own incessant whining and victim mindset . . . and still remain friends with her?

I really don't want to hurt the girl, and God knows, it isn't that she doesn't have very real problems in life. But the more I watch her and listen to her, the more obvious it becomes that she causes the real problems for herself, and then exacerbates the situation by sniveling. And my sympathy is not increased by the fact that she spends more time agonizing over things that aren't really problems at all than she does about things that actually matter.

Left to myself, I'd probably just chuck her to the curb, no matter how nice a person she is or how pleasant she can be to have around when she's not whining. Unfortunately, several of my other, very close, friends are quite attached to her, including my best friend, Blair, for whom I would walk through fire if necessary. So for his sake, I'm kinda stuck with her, and fighting the urge to say, "Would you please just pull on your big girl panties and fucking DEAL with it already?!"

There's gotta be a nicer way to put that.

I would ask her the same thing I would ask myself, were I my own worst enemy. "How do you think your problems would look to you from the vantage point of the last days of your life? She will have to think about that one. In order to change her life, she has to first change her mind on the way she is conducting or interpreting her life.

 

[mudwhistle]

A professional victim. Say what you want, it cant make it any worse then it already is.

Professional victim....sounds like a liberal cause.

Anyone who criticizes them is a hater. Maybe even a Whinerphobe.

 

[Cecilie1200]

A professional victim. Say what you want, it cant make it any worse then it already is.

Professional victim....sounds like a liberal cause.

Anyone who criticizes them is a hater. Maybe even a Whinerphobe.

I will cop to being a whinerphobe. Excessive sniveling gives me hives.

 

[Big Black Dog]

Every time she begins the whining bit, slap her silly. She'll look at you pretty oddly the first couple of times you do it but it won't take long for her to figure out that she needs to either quit whining around you or simply stay away. No matter which she chooses to do, you win! Now, send me my professional fees...