How do you go about telling a friend that you think the biggest problem in her life is her own incessant whining and victim mindset . . . and still remain friends with her? I really don't want to hurt the girl, and God knows, it isn't that she doesn't have very real problems in life. But the more I watch her and listen to her, the more obvious it becomes that she causes the real problems for herself, and then exacerbates the situation by sniveling. And my sympathy is not increased by the fact that she spends more time agonizing over things that aren't really problems at all than she does about things that actually matter. Left to myself, I'd probably just chuck her to the curb, no matter how nice a person she is or how pleasant she can be to have around when she's not whining. Unfortunately, several of my other, very close, friends are quite attached to her, including my best friend, Blair, for whom I would walk through fire if necessary. So for his sake, I'm kinda stuck with her, and fighting the urge to say, "Would you please just pull on your big girl panties and fucking DEAL with it already?!" There's gotta be a nicer way to put that.