When You Shatter A Woman's Heart

Sounds more like you find one who shares your values and then nit pick them apart until you convence yourself they are not worth your time. No one is perfect...or are they ever going to be. This sounds like the action of someone not willing to even try.

At this point, I'd have to be shown a pretty slam-dunk guaranteed option to give it a try, Shadow. I'm too old and too stuck in my ways to learn anything new at this point; and I have less than no interest in trying to change a woman to my way of viewing things.

Honestly what tends to happen is that I can't find women who share the values I'm looking for who aren't already married or attached. There just aren't a whole lot of traditional women out there these days. Even fewer in the 25-40 age range who aren't already spoken for. Therefore I tend to end up in friendships rather than relationships with these people.

I doubt you are the only one who has ever been hurt or that has been in verbally abusive relationships....romatically or otherwise. Like I said before in another thread...you can let it all go without being closed off completely if you really wanted to.

Obviously I'm not the only person to ever have unpleasant relationships. To even suggest such would be absolute stupidity. At this point there is really very little chance of being able to let it all go. They'd probably end up stuffing me in a padded room with a "hug me jacket" on if I even tried to let it all go. I'm not sure my mind could handle it. It would require a nervous breakdown of Biblical proportions on my part; and honestly I'd probably rather be dead than to go through that.


[Then you have issues, just that plain and simple. You're either incapable or willfully fighting natural urges to love and be loved.

Why not get help instead of cutting off such a wonderful part of life?

In my case it's much more the fact that I've simply decided to shut down and/or ignore those interests. Not that there's any woman out there stupid enough to fall in love with someone like me, but that's a different topic.

What wonderful part of life? The part where you and your partner grow apart? The part where you suddenly realize the person you thought you married isn't really who you thought they were; or even worse you're not who they thought you were? The sitting there and watching them be taken from you by age or disease? Please tell me all about the wonderful parts of opening yourself up to be emotionally eviscerated. I just don't see what the great fascination with that is for most people.

So...you are going from.. I can't find the right girl....to who want's to even try,when relationships grow apart...and people get sick... people die... woe is me, life sucks... blah blah blah.

I think you just want to wallow in self pity. :cuckoo:
 
Not everyone is capable of love. Its just a fact of life. There is nothing wrong with a sociopath who follows the laws and doesnt lie to people.

So basically, as long as people like me are HONEST about their inability or unwillingness to love, you have no problem with it. Am I reading that correctly?

It however is very hard for a sociopath to not lie. That does not make it impossible for them to remain truthful. Its a choice like many that most people make in life.

I'm not quite sure how you're coming to the conclusion that sociopath's lie, unless you're suggesting that they do so in order to appear "normal" and to maintain their relationships with "normal" people by pretending to have the same emotional attachments.

Not everyone who doesnt cheat on their husband or wife refrains because its morally wrong. Some just know the risk of getting caught isnt worth the mommentary pleasure. It would be hard to go through life and not understand why most people hold love on high when for them there is no such thing.

Does it really matter what the reason for the fidelity is? Whether it's an emotional attachment, the potential legal consequences, etc?... Isn't the important thing that the fidelity and the vows are maintained?

It might not really be as hard as you seem to think it is, TM. After a while everything in that vein just kind of goes numb. Just because we don't feel love doesn't mean we don't have other emotional reactions. In fact, I tend to find that the other emotions are heightened in those of us who don't, won't, or can't love.

I am so very glad to not have that burden in life.

It's all a matter of point of view, TM. While you may be very glad that you don't have that burden in life, I for one can say that I don't miss many of the things that were part of the life back when I still sought after love and thought it might be part of my life. The pain, fear, and loss. I don't miss that stuff at all.

I have no idea wether you are a sociopath or not.

I dont know you well enough.

I do know that not all people are capable of love.

A sociopath is a sociopath through no choice of their own.

I being a compassionate person am NOT willing to comdem someone for how they are born.

I on the other hand abhore liars.

Sociopaths have a problem with lying.

Its just part of the condition.

They also tend to be bright and charming.

Now if a sociopath can manage their tendency to lie, refrains from harming others and follows the laws why would I have any problem with them?

Its not their fault they were born with a certain type of brain structure.


One other thing about sociopaths, they gain nothing from metal health care.

It makes no sense to them, they dont have real emotions like other people.

They have emotions for themselves not for others.

They see others as lesser than them and feel superior to others.

They often fake emotions for others to gain lifes little pleasures like sex, someone to do their laundry, hot cooked meals, picking up of dry cleaning, someone to grocery shop and the things that come with having a partner who cars enough to do these types of chores.


How many men with a normally functioning frontal lobes fake love to get their girlfriends to do this shit?

Ive known quite a few, I just never fell for any fo these creeps.

My hubby is an honest to god sweetheart who loves women enough to love their brains and individual abilities and doesnt seek a domestic slave in trade for lies.
 
So...you are going from.. I can't find the right girl....to who want's to even try,when relationships grow apart...and people get sick... people die... woe is me, life sucks... blah blah blah.

Basically my relationship life boils down to this..... Trying to find a wonderful woman who is also stupid enough to want to put up with someone like ME. Probably not going to happen.

I think you just want to wallow in self pity. :cuckoo:

I can see how that could be how it's taken from the outside. It's less that than simply having accepted what my limitations in life are and being open and honest about them.
 
What wonderful part of life?

And right there, blatantly on display so evidently that it doesn't take a psychiatrist to see it, where your problems stem from. You hate life itself, and I'm guessing you probably hate yourself. Well, don't look for sympathy, or as another here said, wallow in self pity. Pick yourself up, admit you have issues, find a good shrink, AND GET HELP. Otherwise, if you don't give a damn, no one else is going to either. Suffer.
 
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Frogen is a wise dude and a romantic one....he's also human. He fucked up and I doubt he's the sort to try and make excuses.

Wisdom, Romance, and Love are three very different things, Sherry.

My only point was that one should not simply assume that because someone is of a particular age that they have a certain level of experience with something. By the way; I can be exceptionally romantic even though I've never been in love with anyone, so I'm not sure what those two things have to do with each other.

Being in love and loving someone are two different things.

Seems like most of the time when I thought I was in love with someone they usually didn't.

It's nice when both of you are in love with each other but most of the time it's just one of you.
 
And right there, blatantly on display so evidently that it doesn't take a psychiatrist to see it, where your problems stem from. You hate life itself, and I'm guessing you probably hate yourself. Well, don't look for sympathy, or as another here said, wallow in self pity. Pick yourself up, admit you have issues, find a good shrink, AND GET HELP. Otherwise, if you don't give a damn, no one else going to either. Suffer.

I'm not here looking for sympath or pity, Pale. Never have been. I just know who and what I am and don't bother wasting my time trying to be someone else.

I most definitely have issues; just not ones that can be fixed by a shrink. That's been tried twice to no avail. There's just nothing they can do for me since they don't have a time machine and a genetic manipulation device.

I don't Hate life. I just don't see the point in it most of the time. I truly wonder much of the time if the world wouldn't have been completely unchanged if I'd never been born. Hell, it might even be better off. At some point we'll probably test that theory. The bullet is already put aside and the casing has my initials engraved on it. If/when it gets bad enough, I'll just check out permanently.
 
we will all check out permenantly at some point.

Checking out early is only cheating yourself.

Learn, try and learn.
 
we will all check out permenantly at some point. Checking out early is only cheating yourself. Learn, try and learn.

You're right that we all do check out permanently at some point.

I've been through the "learn, try and learn" thing before. You know what I learned?.... that it's not worth trying anymore. Eventually some of us realize that we're simply here to be the court jesters for the Gods. That whatever we touch turns to dog crap; even if it looks initially like it's going to come out smelling like roses, it will shortly morph into dog crap. Some are stupid enough to keep trying while others of us simply refuse to play that game for the God's amusement after a while.
 
And right there, blatantly on display so evidently that it doesn't take a psychiatrist to see it, where your problems stem from. You hate life itself, and I'm guessing you probably hate yourself. Well, don't look for sympathy, or as another here said, wallow in self pity. Pick yourself up, admit you have issues, find a good shrink, AND GET HELP. Otherwise, if you don't give a damn, no one else going to either. Suffer.

I'm not here looking for sympath or pity, Pale. Never have been. I just know who and what I am and don't bother wasting my time trying to be someone else.

I most definitely have issues; just not ones that can be fixed by a shrink. That's been tried twice to no avail. There's just nothing they can do for me since they don't have a time machine and a genetic manipulation device.

I don't Hate life. I just don't see the point in it most of the time. I truly wonder much of the time if the world wouldn't have been completely unchanged if I'd never been born. Hell, it might even be better off. At some point we'll probably test that theory. The bullet is already put aside and the casing has my initials engraved on it. If/when it gets bad enough, I'll just check out permanently.

What is it you are looking for then? Because for someone not here for sympathy/pity...you sure turned this thread in to one that is all about yourself. :cool:
 
That's what all he ever does here.
 
What is it you are looking for then? Because for someone not here for sympathy/pity...you sure turned this thread in to one that is all about yourself. :cool:

I'm not looking for anything, Shadow. I simply state my opinion on the topic, as I did at the beginning of this thread. If people are interested enough to respond and continue the conversation, fine. If not, so be it. Considering that my world revolves around me, not anyone or anything else I'm not sure how it would be unexpected that a continuing conversation with me would not end up focused on the topic of me, or at least my opinions. If that's not what you're looking for, then I suggest not reading or responding to my comments.
 
we will all check out permenantly at some point. Checking out early is only cheating yourself. Learn, try and learn.

You're right that we all do check out permanently at some point.

I've been through the "learn, try and learn" thing before. You know what I learned?.... that it's not worth trying anymore. Eventually some of us realize that we're simply here to be the court jesters for the Gods. That whatever we touch turns to dog crap; even if it looks initially like it's going to come out smelling like roses, it will shortly morph into dog crap. Some are stupid enough to keep trying while others of us simply refuse to play that game for the God's amusement after a while.

Here is a suggestion.
stop shutting people out.

take a look at how proud you are that you have a huge ignore list.

realise that if every human on the face of the earth vowed to stop leaning at 37 we would all still be living in caves.

Give up believing in god.

maybe you could then accept whatever you personal situation is there are those who have it MUCH worse than you and have DONE NOTHING to deserve their fate.

there is no god who desided your situation would be good for a laugh for him.

There is merely the luck of the draw.

The beautiful puppy that is my avatar is 85 lbs of dog with hips that dont work very well. He is a mere 18 months old and creeks and crunches when he stands or sits. There is nothing medical science can do for him but supply meds to keep him from too much pain. He has the soul of a gladiator.

He runs , he plays he bosses the other dogs arround like he was the king. He loves everyone with his whole being and when on a walk my big worry is he will scare the crap out of someone by running up to them to smother them in love.

SPIRIT my friend, its in you no matter what your real mental condition is in.

Learn to bring your spirit into play.

If you cant love (not saying this is your problem but even if it is there are perfectly logical reasons to live a good life) learn to accept that all people have value beyond what they can provide you.

Spirit.

Enjoy what you can in life without harming others.

Spirit


Learn
 
Not everyone is capable of love. Its just a fact of life. There is nothing wrong with a sociopath who follows the laws and doesnt lie to people.

So basically, as long as people like me are HONEST about their inability or unwillingness to love, you have no problem with it. Am I reading that correctly?



I'm not quite sure how you're coming to the conclusion that sociopath's lie, unless you're suggesting that they do so in order to appear "normal" and to maintain their relationships with "normal" people by pretending to have the same emotional attachments.



Does it really matter what the reason for the fidelity is? Whether it's an emotional attachment, the potential legal consequences, etc?... Isn't the important thing that the fidelity and the vows are maintained?

It might not really be as hard as you seem to think it is, TM. After a while everything in that vein just kind of goes numb. Just because we don't feel love doesn't mean we don't have other emotional reactions. In fact, I tend to find that the other emotions are heightened in those of us who don't, won't, or can't love.

I am so very glad to not have that burden in life.

It's all a matter of point of view, TM. While you may be very glad that you don't have that burden in life, I for one can say that I don't miss many of the things that were part of the life back when I still sought after love and thought it might be part of my life. The pain, fear, and loss. I don't miss that stuff at all.

I have no idea wether you are a sociopath or not.

I dont know you well enough.

I do know that not all people are capable of love.

A sociopath is a sociopath through no choice of their own.

I being a compassionate person am NOT willing to comdem someone for how they are born.

I on the other hand abhore liars.

Sociopaths have a problem with lying.

Its just part of the condition.

They also tend to be bright and charming.

Now if a sociopath can manage their tendency to lie, refrains from harming others and follows the laws why would I have any problem with them?

Its not their fault they were born with a certain type of brain structure.


One other thing about sociopaths, they gain nothing from metal health care.

It makes no sense to them, they dont have real emotions like other people.

They have emotions for themselves not for others.

They see others as lesser than them and feel superior to others.

They often fake emotions for others to gain lifes little pleasures like sex, someone to do their laundry, hot cooked meals, picking up of dry cleaning, someone to grocery shop and the things that come with having a partner who cars enough to do these types of chores.

Sounds like Obama.
 
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAh


Cheney is a far better example of a sociopath.

Obama is the antitisis
 

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