When I'm 80

Discussion in 'Humor' started by dilloduck, Nov 27, 2010.

  1. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    >
    > If I Live to see 80
    >
    > Here's something to think about.
    >
    > I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and
    > exhaustive Lab
    > tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (I just turned 60.) A
    > little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you
    > think
    > I'll live to be 80?'
    >
    > He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?'
    > 'Oh no,' I replied.. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
    > Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?
    > 'I said, 'Not much... My former doctor said that all red meat is very
    > unhealthy!'
    >
    > 'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing,
    > hiking, or
    > bicycling?'
    > 'No, I don't,' I said.
    > He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'
    > 'No,' I said.
    >
    >
    > He looked at me and said,... 'Then, why do you even give a damn?
     
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  2. uscitizen
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    uscitizen Senior Member

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    Yepper why would one want to live to be 80 if they had no enjoyment out of life?
     
  3. Shadow
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    Shadow BANNED

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    This reminds me of my aunts bitching at my 95 year old grandma for being diabetic and splurging by eating a scoop of ice cream.

    I remember thinking...oh for crap sake, she is 95 freaken years old. Let her enjoy a damn treat for once. :lol:
     
  4. PixieStix
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    PixieStix Coal Member Supporting Member

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    :lol:
     
  5. Missourian
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    Missourian Gold Member

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    :lol:

    That reminded of this:

    Life Begins at 50


    • Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out...
    • You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
    • Middle age is when work is a lot less fun - and fun a lot more work.
    • Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn't that the darndest time for a guy to get those odds?
    • You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you.
    • Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.
    • By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
    • Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.
    • Of course I'm against sin; I'm against anything that I'm too old to enjoy.
    • Billy Graham has described heaven as a family reunion that never ends. What could hell possibly be like? Home videos of the same reunion?
    • A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.
    • Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.
    • You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
    • At my age, "getting a little action" means I don't need to take a laxative.
    • Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
    • The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.
    • You're getting old when "getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.
    • You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker, and you can't get it started.
    • You're getting old when your wife gives up sex for Lent, and you don't know till the 4th of July.
    • You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.
    • The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.
    • Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news - the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.
    • It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.
    • You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas because it's too risky of an investment.
    • Last Will and Testament: Being of sound mind, I spent all my money.
    • There are three signs of old age. The first is one's loss of memory, the other two I forget.

     

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