When I'm 80

dilloduck

Diamond Member
May 8, 2004
53,240
5,796
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Austin, TX
>
> If I Live to see 80
>
> Here's something to think about.
>
> I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and
> exhaustive Lab
> tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (I just turned 60.) A
> little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you
> think
> I'll live to be 80?'
>
> He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?'
> 'Oh no,' I replied.. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
> Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?
> 'I said, 'Not much... My former doctor said that all red meat is very
> unhealthy!'
>
> 'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing,
> hiking, or
> bicycling?'
> 'No, I don't,' I said.
> He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'
> 'No,' I said.
>
>
> He looked at me and said,... 'Then, why do you even give a damn?
 
>
> If I Live to see 80
>
> Here's something to think about.
>
> I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and
> exhaustive Lab
> tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (I just turned 60.) A
> little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you
> think
> I'll live to be 80?'
>
> He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?'
> 'Oh no,' I replied.. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
> Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?
> 'I said, 'Not much... My former doctor said that all red meat is very
> unhealthy!'
>
> 'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing,
> hiking, or
> bicycling?'
> 'No, I don't,' I said.
> He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'
> 'No,' I said.
>
>
> He looked at me and said,... 'Then, why do you even give a damn?


This reminds me of my aunts bitching at my 95 year old grandma for being diabetic and splurging by eating a scoop of ice cream.

I remember thinking...oh for crap sake, she is 95 freaken years old. Let her enjoy a damn treat for once. :lol:
 
>
> If I Live to see 80
>
> Here's something to think about.
>
> I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and
> exhaustive Lab
> tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (I just turned 60.) A
> little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you
> think
> I'll live to be 80?'
>
> He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?'
> 'Oh no,' I replied.. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
> Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?
> 'I said, 'Not much... My former doctor said that all red meat is very
> unhealthy!'
>
> 'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing,
> hiking, or
> bicycling?'
> 'No, I don't,' I said.
> He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'
> 'No,' I said.
>
>
> He looked at me and said,... 'Then, why do you even give a damn?


:lol:
 
:lol:

That reminded of this:

Life Begins at 50


  • Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out...
  • You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
  • Middle age is when work is a lot less fun - and fun a lot more work.
  • Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn't that the darndest time for a guy to get those odds?
  • You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you.
  • Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.
  • By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
  • Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.
  • Of course I'm against sin; I'm against anything that I'm too old to enjoy.
  • Billy Graham has described heaven as a family reunion that never ends. What could hell possibly be like? Home videos of the same reunion?
  • A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.
  • Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.
  • You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
  • At my age, "getting a little action" means I don't need to take a laxative.
  • Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
  • The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.
  • You're getting old when "getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.
  • You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker, and you can't get it started.
  • You're getting old when your wife gives up sex for Lent, and you don't know till the 4th of July.
  • You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.
  • The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.
  • Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news - the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.
  • It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.
  • You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas because it's too risky of an investment.
  • Last Will and Testament: Being of sound mind, I spent all my money.
  • There are three signs of old age. The first is one's loss of memory, the other two I forget.
 

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