Whats the difference between...

[JimBowie1958]

Whats the difference between an old cruddy bus terminal and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean

 

[JimBowie1958]

What kind of watch is best for people who don't like time on their hands? A pocket watch.

A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.

Q: What did the robber say to the clock?
A: Hands up!

Q: What does a wall clock do after it stops ticking?
A: It hangs around.

Q: What do you call a tense clock?
A: All wound up.

I'm sorry about the poor clock jokes, but I got them second hand.

 

[Hossfly]

What kind of watch is best for people who don't like time on their hands? A pocket watch.

A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.

Q: What did the robber say to the clock?
A: Hands up!

Q: What does a wall clock do after it stops ticking?
A: It hangs around.

Q: What do you call a tense clock?
A: All wound up.

I'm sorry about the poor clock jokes, but I got them second hand.

 

[Harry Dresden]

Q:What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

A People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.

 

[Hossfly]

Q:What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

A People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.

​

This is not enough corn for Uncle Alex.thecmonster.com - 3120 x 1483

 

[Auld Phart]

We need a GROAN button

 

[Auld Phart]

What kind of watch is best for people who don't like time on their hands? A pocket watch.

A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.

Q: What did the robber say to the clock?
A: Hands up!

Q: What does a wall clock do after it stops ticking?
A: It hangs around.

Q: What do you call a tense clock?
A: All wound up.

I'm sorry about the poor clock jokes, but I got them second hand.

Q: What does a clock do when it's hungry?

A: (It goes back for/four seconds!)



Q: How does a witch tell time?

A: (With a witch watch!)

 

[Hossfly]

What kind of watch is best for people who don't like time on their hands? A pocket watch.

A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.

Q: What did the robber say to the clock?
A: Hands up!

Q: What does a wall clock do after it stops ticking?
A: It hangs around.

Q: What do you call a tense clock?
A: All wound up.

I'm sorry about the poor clock jokes, but I got them second hand.

Q: What does a clock do when it's hungry?

A: (It goes back for/four seconds!)



Q: How does a witch tell time?

A: (With a witch watch!)

​

 

[Harry Dresden]

What kind of watch is best for people who don't like time on their hands? A pocket watch.

A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.

Q: What did the robber say to the clock?
A: Hands up!

Q: What does a wall clock do after it stops ticking?
A: It hangs around.

Q: What do you call a tense clock?
A: All wound up.

I'm sorry about the poor clock jokes, but I got them second hand.

Q: What does a clock do when it's hungry?

A: (It goes back for/four seconds!)



Q: How does a witch tell time?

A: (With a witch watch!)

 

[Lucy Hamilton]

Q:What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

A People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.

​

This is not enough corn for Uncle Alex.thecmonster.com - 3120 x 1483

Now you're just attempting to confuse me

 

[JimBowie1958]

Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

The person who invented the door knock won the No-bell prize.

When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on.

People who say they suffer from constipation are full of shit.

If Apple made a car, would it have Windows?

I couldn't work out how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.

It's not that the man didn't know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

 

[Hossfly]

Q:What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

A People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.

​

This is not enough corn for Uncle Alex.thecmonster.com - 3120 x 1483

Now you're just attempting to confuse me

It means corny jokes. Worn out or tiresome. The reaction is to groan.

 

[JimBowie1958]

It came from the depths of Saint Jiles
A scream that could be heard for miles.
Oh goodness gracious,
Did Father Ignaceous
Forget that the Bishop has piles?

There once was a runner named Dwight
Who could speed even faster than light.
He set out one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.

An amoeba, named Max, and his brother
Were sharing a drink with each other;
In the midst of their quaffing,
They split themselves laughing,
And each of them now is a mother.

 

[Irish Mike]

There once was a man from Kent
Who's dick was so long that it bent
So to save him some trouble
He bent it in double
So instead of coming he went