What's more important...?

[Sandy73]

Other way around. Passion, or being passionate towards another is not something that can be taught or learned. Passion is a point in proximity towards another person where time stands still; where the touch of their skin against yours; even a finger forces you to abandon whatever it was you were doing and lose yourself in the moment. Where passion lives, words go unspoken. Passion transends physcial desire. Passion compels one to say things or do things or be a way which the object of the passion needs/wants; not out of obligation, but out of neccessity. When I am passionate about somebody, and they me, we find refreshment in one-another. We find rest. And hope. We draw strength and support from each other's gaze.

No my friend...we can 'learn' to like anyone. We can't 'learn' to 'feel'. It's there...or it isn't.

I could not have said it better myself !

 

[Said1]

I knew a guy in the Army who married a woman because he didn't want to go to Germany alone - and he was gay, and she knew it.

weird eh?

Weird is one way to put it. I know someone who married a women for money, security and a spot in her fathers company. She knew this, married him anyway, and I don't think they've had sex for 6 yrs. She stopped mentioning it after 3. I feel sorry for her, but we make our own lives.

 

[freeandfun1]

Weird is one way to put it. I know someone who married a women for money, security and a spot in her fathers company. She knew this, married him anyway, and I don't think they've had sex for 6 yrs. She stopped mentioning it after 3. I feel sorry for her, but we make our own lives.

there are a lot of "sexless" marriages out there that only continue to exist due to either 1) neither wants to admit a mistake or 2) financially, it makes more sense to stay together.

have you ever heard the term, "it is cheaper to keep her"?

 

[Annie]

there are a lot of "sexless" marriages out there that only continue to exist due to either 1) neither wants to admit a mistake or 2) financially, it makes more sense to stay together.

have you ever heard the term, "it is cheaper to keep her"?

That may be, but it's not cheaper to stay.

 

[HGROKIT]

That may be, but it's not cheaper to stay.

I agree, especially mentally.

 

[UsaPride]

Other way around. Passion, or being passionate towards another is not something that can be taught or learned. Passion is a point in proximity towards another person where time stands still; where the touch of their skin against yours; even a finger forces you to abandon whatever it was you were doing and lose yourself in the moment. Where passion lives, words go unspoken. Passion transends physcial desire. Passion compels one to say things or do things or be a way which the object of the passion needs/wants; not out of obligation, but out of neccessity. When I am passionate about somebody, and they me, we find refreshment in one-another. We find rest. And hope. We draw strength and support from each other's gaze.

No my friend...we can 'learn' to like anyone. We can't 'learn' to 'feel'. It's there...or it isn't.

 

[UsaPride]

there are a lot of "sexless" marriages out there that only continue to exist due to either 1) neither wants to admit a mistake or 2) financially, it makes more sense to stay together.

Or if there's kids involved.

 

[freeandfun1]

Or if there's kids involved.

true.

and true that it is NOT cheaper to keep her when one takes into consideration the mental price paid.

 

[Said1]

there are a lot of "sexless" marriages out there that only continue to exist due to either 1) neither wants to admit a mistake or 2) financially, it makes more sense to stay together.

have you ever heard the term, "it is cheaper to keep her"?

I would have to say it would be cheaper to keep him, but there is also a pre-nup invovled. I know why they stay together, although both of them do it for different reasons. He depends on her financially. Her father retired and turned things over to her and her brother-in-law, making her his employer. She loves him, and accepts what he has to offer, which in truth, is nothing. No kids invovlved - ever. I think it's sad beause she has a lot to offer someone who would love to trade places with her husband, yet she doesn't realize this.

 

[Jackass]

Definatley passion. YOu can find a friend just about anywhere. Passion isnt usually just something you find everyday.

 

[Joz]

How can you choose? Even friendship requires a certain amount of attraction. Male or female. I've never known anyone who was friends with someone they couldn't stand.

Recently, on a news TV show they reported that 40 % of marriages are sexless. The couple they were interviewing had sex about once a month. They were young.... too busy. I think it wasn't all that special in the first place so it's easy for it to fall to the wayside. That's a real shame, too.

I've always used the analogy of a meal. You can survive on dessert (sex) for a while but you eventually come away still being hungry. You can also survive on just meat & potatoes (friendship/other married stuff) but it becomes mundane. You, no doubt, will survive better on the meat & potatoes but you need both to be well balanced and happy. What better than to be able to share such a physical & intimate act with someone who is your friend to the end.

Of course, it takes some of you guys a bit of maturing to find this out. It's not AS emotional for men as it is women, but I think men find out sex is much better with someone you truly love.

 

[DKSuddeth]

how does that work when you've married your best friend?

 

[Said1]

how does that work when you've married your best friend?

People change sometimes. You don't always end up with the person you started out with, and changes are not always a good thing. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for change if it helps you be the best you can be, it's just that this isn't always the case.

 

[dmp]

how does that work when you've married your best friend?

I'd never marry my best friend, for some of the reasons listed here, and because I feel every spouse needs a best friend they can confide in when they are pissed off at their mate. There are things I'd tell my best guy friends I wouldn't tell my wife. And vice-versa. That's healthy, IMO.

 

[Joz]

People change sometimes. You don't always end up with the person you started out with, and changes are not always a good thing. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for change it helps you be the best you can be, it's just that this isn't always the case.

I agree. And I think the key is to be flexible enough to adapt or change with the other person. But all people can't do that. Some are taught rigidity and it takes a while to relearn. And some can't do that either. Hence, divorce.

My ex said that very thing, just the other night. But he wants the old gal back, the one he married. Only a portion of her exists anymore. He doesn't think he'd particularly like to adjust to who I am now. I'm not asking him to.

 

[Bonnie]

In a successful marriage:

Friendship or Passion.

I'm convinced the only difference between 'friends' and 'lovers' is passion; therefore, a friend with whom there exists no passion is not a 'lover' by definition.

I would have to say that friendship creates and sustains passion. You need both as they feed off each other. :kiss2: