What would you do?

Discussion in 'Current Events' started by Johnney, Dec 24, 2003.

  1. Johnney
    Offline

    Johnney Senior Member

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2003
    Messages:
    4,330
    Thanks Received:
    141
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    IOWA
    Ratings:
    +141
    heres the situation.
    i have a 15 year old nephew whose pretty fucked in the head. so far since hes lived with my parents hes gotten caught smoking dope on the way to school (on video tape no less), got caught shoplifting, skipped school like that is no tomarrow, come up hot on a piss test a couple of times (the new directions here, the drug place people go to when they get caught) isnt that concerned. his probation officer, even though ive turned in a bag of weed to them i got from his room, didnt do anything other than put him on a stricter probation (laughable) seems to think he'll grow out of it.

    and last night/ this morning, he got it for grand theft auto, curfew, driving without a license, and vandalism (seems there have been about 50 cases of windows being shot out wit a BB gun, which they happened to be caught with for some reason).

    now, my parents are retired. is there any reason what so ever they should be risking all they own on this asshole regardless if he is blood?
    AND
    do you think the justice system here in the midwest is jsut a little too lax?
    if my mom would have let me do what i wanted too in the first place, we wouldnt be in this situation we are in now. im a firm believer in spare the rod spoil the child. and not jsut becasue of his antics.
     
  2. Isaac Brock
    Offline

    Isaac Brock Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2003
    Messages:
    1,104
    Thanks Received:
    43
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Ratings:
    +44
    Can you say military school? By friend's brother is the EXACT same... got sent to Juvy a few times. Eventually his mom just kicked him out, because there is nothing more she can do for him until we wants to do something for himself.
     
  3. Johnney
    Offline

    Johnney Senior Member

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2003
    Messages:
    4,330
    Thanks Received:
    141
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    IOWA
    Ratings:
    +141
    that wouldbe nice, but the justice system up here thinkis hes some type of angel or something. if id have done this shit when iw as his age id have gotten sent up. but i was intelligent enough not to get caught.
    i think jsut the monitary amount is a felony though, about 6K. but im not sure about that.
     
  4. 5stringJeff
    Offline

    5stringJeff Senior Member

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2003
    Messages:
    9,990
    Thanks Received:
    536
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Puyallup, WA
    Ratings:
    +540
    My two suggestions would be: one of those juvenile boot camps, for short term punishment (i.e. to correct the wrong behavior) and have him start going to church (to correct an obvious character problem).
     
  5. Johnney
    Offline

    Johnney Senior Member

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2003
    Messages:
    4,330
    Thanks Received:
    141
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    IOWA
    Ratings:
    +141
    well court is next month so we'll see what happens to that one. as for the church, if you force him to go, then yuo'll get me. i was forced to go as a child and i cant stand the thought of going now. i do help out in the kitchen when they have bigger dinner things, but besides that i wont go. i even refuse to talk about with my mom.
    i think a good old fashion ass whoppin is in order, hell i dont care about going to jail over it. why would i? you can get away with murder around here and not worry.
    i read something the other day in the paper where a guy that was convicted of child molestation 9 times over 50 years. they now want to keep him in jail until he is reabilitated. now this one is a no brainer. 9 convictions over 50 years? he should have even been allowed out inthe first place.
     
  6. NightTrain
    Offline

    NightTrain VIP Member

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2003
    Messages:
    1,425
    Thanks Received:
    87
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Location:
    Wasilla, Alaska
    Ratings:
    +87
    That's a tough deal there, Johnney.

    In a situation like that, (if I were the unfortunate parent), I'd come down on him like a truck.

    Strict grounding - no going anywhere unless with you.
    Massive chores.
    No TV.
    No computer.
    No video games.
    No phone.
    No visitors.
    Church.
    Got some free time? More chores.
    Running out of chores to hand out? Invent some. Scrub the driveway with a small brush.

    The first time he gets out of line, an ass whipping. Then more chores. After 6 months of this action, he'll be straightened out. He needs discipline, and lots of it.

    It may sound cruel to a few bleeding hearts out there, but in reality you'll be doing the little fella a huge favor. He's going to be thrown into jail at a young age with a bunch of hardened criminals and then he'll really get some groovy ideas into his head. If he doesn't get straightened out now, it'll take him years (if he ever does) of very unpleasant situations before he gets the picture.

    Jeff's boot camp idea is a good one, too. But it's nothing that the parents can't do themselves.
     
  7. lilcountriegal
    Offline

    lilcountriegal Senior Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2003
    Messages:
    1,633
    Thanks Received:
    59
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Ratings:
    +59
    Sounds to me like he needs a good ol case of ass whoopin.

    You said your mom is raising him and he is your nephew. That would make him her grandson (?). Can you maybe approach his parents (father/mother... whichever is related by blood) and explain the situation to them? Tell them that your parents are a bit old to be having to have this burden on their shoulders, etc.

    Yes, it does sound like the justice system out there is a bit lax.

    It sounds to me like he's a kid lashing out for attention (I sense a larger story as to why he isnt living with his own parents). And attention is something he is getting with all the crap he's pullilng. If he doesnt be careful, by trying to get attention, he can end up a convicted addict. I'd maybe call his PO and tell him/her that they need to keep a stricter schedule on this boy. If he/she doesnt, contact that PO's supervisor. In the Juvey system where I live, there are so overrun with troubled kids that alot of times they cant keep track of them all. If that PO cant keep track of your nephew, then he needs a PO that can.

    Other that those two suggestions, I'd work on your mom. Explain to her that as long as she allows this behavior to go on, it'll continue. She needs to raise her fist and lower her foot, otherwise this kid will continue to walk all over them.

    Good Luck!
     
  8. Johnney
    Offline

    Johnney Senior Member

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2003
    Messages:
    4,330
    Thanks Received:
    141
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    IOWA
    Ratings:
    +141
    Why yes there is, you see, his mom is my sister, and shes.... you guessed it, in prison for METH!!!!!!!!
    as far as im cincerned shes about a worthless bitch anyway. everything he is doing now his mom did when she wass younger, like mother like son there.

    Night Train, as far as that your suggestions go, been there done that. but his past life with his mom was pretty much the same as you suggested, jstu more abusive. weve taken everything away from him, even taken his door off, but it jsut doesnt faze him one bit.
    but its like i said, the court will decide. i told my parents he cant come back regardless of what they say next month. obviously we ahve turned into retards when it comes to teenagers. as far as i see, teens have it ALOY easier than when i was a kid. computers? Internet? xbox? what the hell was that?
    but the ass whoppin was more of what i had in mind. i told him today he was going to be someones bitch when he goes to jail.
     
  9. acludem
    Offline

    acludem VIP Member

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2003
    Messages:
    1,500
    Thanks Received:
    49
    Trophy Points:
    71
    Location:
    Missouri
    Ratings:
    +69
    Evidently this kid hasn't had much direction up until now. Does he have a father? My guess is, probably not. It's too bad you and parents have been left to deal with this by your sister.

    I like the option of military school or some sort of boot camp, but check it out first, there have been kids killed at these places. He clearly needs a figurative kick in the ass.

    The best thing you can do is give him discipline (though I don't think hitting him is the answer, chances are that's what his mom did), and keep trying to find a way to get through to him.

    I'm an eternal optimist, especially when it comes to kids. I hope you won't give up on your nephew. He's young and he's had a tough go of it. We shouldn't give kids like this a free pass, but we shouldn't condemn as "just plain bad kids" and wash our hands of them either.
     
  10. Moi
    Offline

    Moi Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2003
    Messages:
    1,859
    Thanks Received:
    11
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Location:
    The ONLY GOOD place
    Ratings:
    +11
    How awful for your family to have to go through this. I don't believe that your nephew became this way overnight nor of his own volition. If your sister has been in a trouble spiral for a long time, it's no wonder that your nephew acts as he does. However, he's 15 years old...is it too late? No one will ever know until they look back.

    I agree that some type of confined learning environment would do him good; agreed, that some are shameful and abusive. There was a program on television when I was a kid which was called "Scared Straight"- you know, the one where convicts try to speak to guys headed that way about how awful it is. Perhaps you can get some local cops to talk to your nephew along those lines? Or perhaps bring your nephew to the nearest big city to talk to their law enforcement.

    I agree with Lilcountriegal that your nephew needs attention. Kids don't care what kind of attention you give them...they just know they want something. Get him a mentor...someone who's walked that path and straightened out for a better life. Or someone who's been so burned they know what not to do.

    Good luck, really. That's all I can give you.
     

Share This Page